You’ve probably heard the old wives’ tale that you eat two spiders a year in your sleep. Or four. Or eight. Or 16 a night. It probably depends on how big your mouth is.
This is a problem, because many people are afraid of spiders. Like, a lot of people. While 3-7% of people have clinical levels of arachnophobia, up to 50% of women are generally afraid of them. Only 18% of men are, providing much material for hack comics.
Women can give birth, but are afraid of spiders?
People who are afraid of spiders actually think that spiders are bigger than they are, and closer, too. Arachnophobia is so engrained in our species that it may actually be present before birth, meaning some kids are born being afraid of spiders, despite never having seen one, unless spiders were in the womb with them, which is actually a horrible mental image now that I’ve thought of it.
Maybe the baby itself is some kind of spider-being. That would surprise the hell out of the midwife.
Sorry, I’m got off track there. Spider phobias may be evolutionarily based, in that spiders were an actual threat to early humans, and early humans had enough to worry about, thank you very much.
That fear of spiders has stayed with our species, despite that fact that it’s no longer that useful. For example, of the 3400 or so spider species in North America, only 3 are poisonous, including one called the hobo spider. I’m sure the hobo community was thrilled with this addition to their reputation.
Even if you’re not really afraid of spiders, you can see why some people wouldn’t like them. They’re pretty creepy looking, what with their eight legs, and six eyes, and their web-building and blood-sucking. They can get pretty big, too. The giant huntsman spider can reach up to a foot in length, and the Goliath birdeater gets up to 6 ounces, and can literally eat birds.
I’m sorry I showed you those pictures. If it makes you feel better, the huntsman spider lives in caves in Laos, and the birdeater lives mainly in the Amazon, giving people yet another reason not to go to this year’s summer Olympics.
If it makes you feel worse, there’s probably a spider within 3 feet of you right now. I’m sure you’ve heard the old tale before about how there’s a spider within 3, or 4, or 14, or some other number of feet of you at all times, no matter where you are. Neil Armstrong found one on his leg on the moon.
“I knew I should’ve shook out my clothes before packing”
Turns out that’s false, actually. The guy who started that rumour was a spider researcher called Norman Platnick, and what he actually said was “Wherever you sit as you read these lines, a spider is probably no more than a few yards away.” That got turned around by different media sources, as the media tends to do, but he didn’t really mean at all times. Think about it, would a spider really be a few feet away if you were, say, in a swimming pool? Or a plane? It’s not like spiders just tag along a behind you like an eight-legged Diddy Kong. You can escape them.
Unlike Diddy Kong, who never leaves you the hell alone
Anyways, I just re-read the title of this post and realized that I’m 700 words into this without addressing the original question. I’m pretty sure the key to great writing is to make a catchy title that has nothing to do with the content.
So, how many spiders do you actually eat in your sleep? Is it 3? 4? 5?
Infinity?
Actually, it’s probably 0. In fact, the whole thing was made up by a reporter to show how people will just accept any old claim they hear. Of course, this lack of spider chomping makes sense. First of all, why the hell would a spider ever crawl into your mouth? Despite all the panic they cause, spiders really don’t like being around humans. A sleeping human has a heartbeat, rolls around, and if their mouth is open, is probably snoring, all things that emit vibrations that would keep spiders away.
“Jesus, this guy sounds like a friggin’ chainsaw. I’m outta here.”
Even if a spider did show up on your pillow, it would have no reason to crawl into your gaping, morning-breath mouth, unless you had already swallowed a fly and he was going after it. The other reason spiders don’t just casually force themselves down your esophagus every night is that, unless your unconscious from an inadvisable amount of booze, you would feel the spider crawling on your face. The face is one of the most sensitive spots of the human body, and even someone in a deep sleep would likely brush off a spider crawling around up there.
It’s the reason the old feather and shaving cream trick works so well.
Interestingly, you might be eating spiders while you’re awake. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) allows tiny levels of “defects” into food made for human consumption, and these defects can include minute portions of little itty-bitty creatures, possibly including spider parts. So there you go, you’ve probably eaten spider bits after all.
And maybe that’s not such a bad thing. After all, eating spiders and bugs (though spiders aren’t bugs) may be the way of the future. Feeding the ever-growing human population is putting a huge strain on the world, with conventional livestock taking up more and more land and pumping more and more methane into the atmosphere, amping up climate change. Spiders and bugs are extremely rich in protein, and they produce 12 times more edible food than livestock from a single kilogram of animal feed.
Plus, they’re easier to farm
So, there you have it. You probably don’t eat spiders in your sleep, but some day, you might be eating them for breakfast. The branding writes itself.
It’s hard to know what to say or do when someone you love experiences a miscarriage – it’s a touchy subject people don’t like to bring up. But amongst the awkward tension of not knowing how to react, there are things left unsaid that shouldn’t be.
Here are seven things about miscarriage no one talks about (but should):
1. It’s a lot more common than you think
Between 10 and 25 percent of recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage. In fact, most healthy women have a 20 percent chance of miscarrying.
2. Just because it’s common doesn’t make it any easier to handle
From the time a woman sees those two pink lines on a pregnancy test, she begins to dream of the little bundle of joy growing inside her and what life will be like once the child arrives. Having that stripped away so suddenly is devastating.
3. Many women experience depression following a miscarriage
It doesn’t matter if you were two or 20 weeks along – the pain is still there. The bond between a mother and unborn child is strong, and losing that can bring emotions of anger, guilt, sadness and depression. If you know someone who has slipped into depression following a miscarriage, reach out to them and encourage them to seek counseling if necessary.
4. Men grieve too
Men don’t experience the same kind of grief as women, but they still grieve when their partner miscarries. Irving Leon, a psychologist who specializes in reproductive loss, says some men worry that if they show sadness, it will only bring their wife down more.
Men typically don’t mourn on the outside, but they still battle their emotions on the inside. One study said men show less “active grief” on the outside compared to females, but they are more vulnerable to feeling despair and struggling to cope with the loss.
5. It’s not the mother’s fault
Some women feel betrayed by their body following a miscarriage and wonder what more they could have done to prevent it. They ask what would have happened if they went to the doctor earlier or watched their diet a little closer. But there are so many causes for miscarriage, and they typically can’t be identified.
The most common reason for miscarriage in the first trimester is chromosomal abnormality. In these cases, it isn’t the mother’s fault, and recognizing that is a great first step to overcoming the overbearing grief.
6. You’ll likely have a healthy pregnancy after a miscarriage
You might be worried to try for another child after experiencing a miscarriage, but experts say about 85 percent of women who have suffered a miscarriage will go on to have a healthy, full-term pregnancy next time. They say it’s safe to wait at least two to three menstrual cycles and until you and your partner are emotionally ready to start trying again. Go at your own pace, and talk to your doctor about when it’s healthy to become pregnant again.
To all the mothers and fathers out there who carry the heavy weight of losing a child, remember you are not alone. You can receive help from experts and loved ones. And although you will never forget your sweet unborn child, your pain can start to fade.
My sister Hannah was diagnosed with an extremely rare condition aged 2 and was given a life expectancy of 3. Her condition means she can’t feel any pain and isn’t able to sweat or shiver. Because of this she has shattered both her hips, is missing fingers and toes due to self-mutilation and possible leg amputation.
5 months ago she underwent major spinal surgery to repair damage to her neck. unfortunately, the operation was not successful and has caused further damage. She is going back for further surgery on the 6th of December.
Hannah absolutely loves receiving and reading cards. We would love to make an appeal for Hannah to receive as many get well cards as we can! Hannah has also got a learning disability and is finding another operation a worrying time, we are hoping receiving these cards will keep her smile and spirit going.
If you have a spare card at the back of your cupboard please consider Hannah! Thankyou so much! Please send all cards to:
On the day of Children in Need ! Fairy Bricks were devastated to find that their van which contained 2000 LEGO sets that were destined for children’s wards around the UK
The sets taken were all the same and they are the 24 in 1 Christmas set from last year, (set no 40222).
PLEASE SHARE THIS AS WIDE AS POSSIBLE, I’m sure everyone will agree that this is about as low as you can get. If you see large quantities of these sets available on Ebay, shpock, any local selling pages then take screenshots and report back to Fairy Bricks here http://www.fairybricks.org
Never Use Hot Sauce In Foreplay, I Learnt The Hard Way
Ok so I look back now and laugh, but the moment I discovered hot sauce was a bad idea was extremely painful.
Let me set the mood, I’d been dating this handsome builder, you know the type muscular, hairy chest, tanned, funny and horny, I was smitten.
He absolutely loved foreplay, we experimented with all sorts of foods and store-bought pleasure gels like Durex play and Ky jelly.
Well one of my favourite sex gels made me all warm and tingly in my lady area and I was desperate to get that sensation whilst my man pleasured me erm with his tongue (sorry for the too much info).
Anyways in a moment of madness I went down stairs and grabbed Encona West Indian hot pepper sauce, in hindsight i should have put more thought into this decision.
I rubbed it all over my lady parts, kind of expecting to feel a warm tingly sensation.
Oh my god it was like someone had poured acid on my lady garden and then set it on fire.
My poor parts were burning, I was itching, I was in so much pain.
I tried washing it away, still a burning pain, my partner poured milk, yes you heard that right… milk on my bits to cool it 🤦🏼♀️
Baby wipes, soap, water, milk, nothing stopped the pain, until I got the good old sudocream and applied it all over as thick as I could.
I could feel lumps of swollen skin and a texture like sandpaper, for 9 long days urinating or moving where excruciating, i was so uncomfortable and sore.
Lesson learnt never use hot sauce to spice up anything other than a food dish, or you could end up with a red face and an even redder fanny.
Nola Larke of Southampton has taken to Facebook to warn other mums.
My little boy Noah is 1 year and 3 months old.
We have safety gates, corner cushions, locks on cupboards and taken multiple precautions in our home.
Noah has an older brother Samuel who is 13 and visits me and his father at the weekends.
Samuel adores his baby brother and is very cautious not to leave his electricals, chargers, lego, sweets etc where Noah can reach them.
Last weekend we treated Samuel to a chinese take away and a can of Coke.
We sat down to watch a film and it got later than expected, we didn’t clear our rubbish as we normally do, you kow how it is, sometimes you just let things slide.
6am as usual Noah awoke, I changed his bottom and then strapped him into his high chair ready for his breakfast.
I left Noah alone in the dining room for a matter of minutes whilst i prepared his porridge, I didn’t realise the empty Coke can was in his reach.
Noah placed his finger inside the can of Coca Cola, he ripped his finger back out, taking the skin with it.
Noah was screaming in agony ad blood was pouring down his hand, I cleaned it and put a plaster on and obviously comforted my baby boy.
Three days later it became infected, it was very red and swollen, we attended the Gp and were informed that a strong course of antibiotics was needed and a short stay in hospital, he added had we not been seen sooner he may have lost his finger or even his life.
Mums Urgent Warning on Coca Cola
I urge you all to keep any carbonated drink cans away from babies and toddlers, the inside of the ring is as sharp as a razor blade, we learnt this the hard way.
IMPORTANT ADVICE FOR HAMSTER OWNERS . Sad sad day — I went to feed our Syrian hamster and as he didn’t come out for his food as he usually does I peaked in his bed ……..
He was cold and still and stiff 😞
This picture is as I found him 😢 😢
PLEASE PLEASE if you have hamsters don’t bury them when found like this at this time of year. If the temperature drops these wee guys hibernate and go into a ‘ slow ‘ state .
I cuddled him and put his tank into the tortoise room that is kept at a cosy temperature and within a couple of hours he was up and about collecting his dinner and clambering about. ❤ ❤ ❤
Obviously if he doesn’t come round when warmed up slowly he has probably died but lots of times he will be just conserving energy.
Pet hamsters can go into hibernation mode, don’t just assume they have died, keep them warm, place a hot water bottle under their cage, wrap them in a towel and cuddle them.
Please SHARE so NOBODY buries their wee pet if he hibernates xxx
A puzzling study of U.S. pregnancies found that women who had miscarriages between 2010 and 2012 were more likely to have had back-to-back annual flu shots that included protection against flu.
Vaccine experts think the results may reflect the older age and other miscarriage risks for the women, and not the flu jabs. Health officials say there is no reason to change the government recommendation that all pregnant women be vaccinated against the flu. They say the flu itself is a much greater danger to women and their fetuses.
Past studies have found flu vaccines are safe during pregnancy, though there’s been little research on impact of flu vaccinations given in the first three months of pregnancy.
This study focused only on miscarriages, which occur in the first 19 weeks of pregnancy and are common. As many as half of pregnancies end in miscarriage, according to a March of Dimes estimate that tries to include instances in which the miscarriage occurs before a women even realizes she was pregnant.
Many tabloids are scaremongering and saying there is a potential link between miscarriage and the flu vaccine.
When in fact the findings suggest an association not a casual link, and the research is too weak and preliminary, it other words there not 100% sure.
The researchers who conducted the study emphasise that it is not a reason to avoid the flu jab.
Science is an incremental process and a lot of people don’t understand that very seldom does a single study provide a definitive answer.
Our advice to you all is to check it out before you make a decision, read up on it, do not believe what is written in articles written to sell newspapers.
Remember how many scares there have been on many things and eventually they were found to be wrong.
Flu and its complications can kill, this is just one study and not proven fact.
One woman has shared her mums last words written in a letter addressed to her daughter.
Juliana Donaldsons Mum Cynthia Heath aged 47 took her own life April this year, Juliana wants to raise awareness of mental health.
MY Mum Died And I Should Of Saved Her, the following may be distressing or upsetting to some but it is important to read.
In her letter you can hear the pain:
“Today’s the day I die, today’s the day I will find my peace, tomorrow will never come, no more pain, no more fear, no more silent nights, I feel excited for the first time in a decade.
I will miss my family and I know I will hurt them with my actions, but my hurt is too real.
I cannot spend another night in the company of my thoughts, I forever feel like I’m falling and I can’t get up, I am drowning but I cannot die, My mind is a river which I cannot dam.
Today’s the day when I will run free, I will not have to fake a smile or pretend all is ok.
Today is my day, my day in the sun, away from the storm in my eyes.
I hope my family in time will forgive me and see for once I put myself first, this is my choice and not something I have done lightly.
I am free
I am safe
I am done
I am tired, my eyes grow heavy, my thoughts are clear.
All I feel is love, I am me.
I love you all
With all my love Mum
Juliana told us her mother had battled with depression for several years and she doesn’t hate her mother for her actions but blames herself for not supporting her more and pushing her to get help.
Juliana begs that anyone who is suffering from a mental health condition, seeks help and families and friends don’t push the topic under the carpet.
Even if you’re not really afraid of spiders, you can see why some people wouldn’t like them. They’re pretty creepy looking, what with their eight legs, and six eyes, and their web-building and blood-sucking. They can get pretty big, too. The giant huntsman spider can reach up to a foot in length, and the Goliath birdeater gets up to 6 ounces, and can literally eat birds.
