Category: News

Dissatisfied mums and dads are being shut out of information portals and going without crucial communications because schools’ policies and processes aren’t designed to cater to separated families, a pioneering study has concluded.

Spurred on by her own dislocating experience in the system, Renee Desmarchelier from the University of Southern Queensland led the project, unearthing a string of obstacles that are hindering separated parents’ engagement in their children’s schooling.

She tells EducationHQ it was concerning to find parents’ satisfaction with the home-school relationship came down to the health of their own co-parenting union and how well they were communicating with their ex-partner.

“So, it wasn’t necessarily anything the schools were doing, it was whether they had an amicable co-parent relationship and were communicating [amongst] themselves.

“Which is a problem in itself, because it was relying on the parents to get along to share the information, which we know is often not the case.”

Blunt management systems not fit-for-purpose

A key issue is that student management systems do not allow for the nuanced needs of separated families, leaving some out in the cold, Desmarchelier says.

The researcher knows how this can play out first-hand. When student report cards went online for the first time in Queensland, she says she never received the log-in details as promised.

“My ex-partner was the person who lived in the school catchment area, so he was the primary parent in the system. So, when I emailed the school, they said, ‘oh no, you will need to get the log-in details off [him]’,” she recalls.

“I thought, ‘hang on a minute, I’ve got just as much right to that information’ … both parents have rights to that information.”

After some digging with the help of the school, Demarchelier discovered that if you report your child lives with both parents, the management system assumes you all live together and offers up just one set of communication.

The concept of visiblity – or rather the lack thereof – was woven throughout parents’ responses in the study. 

As one father expressed: 

“I guess my partner at the time had, unbeknownst to me, actually contacted the school, changed the point of contact, and changed payments . . . Then, when I contacted the school and said that I either wasn’t receiving any information or that all the notices suddenly weren’t coming to me, they said, ‘Oh, we’re not going to get involved’. And so, I was left completely out of it. The school wasn’t prepared to discuss any matters, unless it was jointly, or through something pre-arranged.” 

The ‘primary parent’ problem

Schools’ in-built assumptions about the family unit emerged as a key issue in the research.

“We heard a lot about this need for a primary parent in most student management systems as particularly problematic…

“And it often meant the mothers were prioritised. We had some fathers reporting to us that the school told them they weren’t allowed to be the primary parent in the system because that had to be the mother,” Desmarchelier flags.

Another parent interviewed said conflict had erupted when only one set of information was provided at a classroom open day.

“That led to things that neither parent really wanted to experience in the classroom, in front of the teacher, in front of the other parents…” the researcher says.

“Just thinking through the implications of even small interactions like that can be really important. So, how are you going to effectively communicate with both parents?”

Make no assumptions

Schools ought to also remain cognisant of perhaps not knowing everything about the dynamic at play within a separated family, Desmarchelier adds.

“We saw lots of incidences where the parent filling out [our] survey was reporting family and domestic violence, but there were no court orders involved in that.

“I think schools need to be really conscious of the fact that they are not necessarily going to be aware where that has taken place in families. It’s not necessarily something that’s going to be disclosed to them.

“So saying to parents, ‘you two just need to sort it out yourselves’, can be particularly damaging for people in those sorts of situations – and parents will go without the information rather than expose themselves to those sorts of dangers again.”

Avoid deficit language 

It’s important to consider the language used to describe separated families too, the researcher argues.

“We even had an incident where a mum had gone to a potential new school for an interview with the principal, and the principal talked about all these ‘terrible broken families that had moved into the area’.

“She just looked at her and said, ‘I don’t think this is a school for us, thank you very much’.

“That language where you’re framing diverse family structures as deficit can be quite damaging to parents’ confidence as well.”

‘We need to get this experience on record’ 

The study plugs a clear gap in the research literature focused on parent engagement with schools.

“Nowhere is there anything around what that experience is for separated parents, and that was really a prompt for me to go, ‘well, actually we need to get this experience on record’, because it hasn’ t really been recorded before,” Desmarchelier says.

The charge now is to look at how schools might more inclusively communicate with all families – regardless of how they might deviate from the nuclear norm, the academic shares.

“I really think we need to look at the way we manage student information and family information.

“We started in this separated parent space, but we want to start looking at diverse family structures more broadly…”

It used to be matching dinner plates and never-to-be-used fish knives that you’d select from a list curated by a young couple embarking on a new chapter. Now it’s £1,000-plus cots as gushed about by Gigi Hadid and Chloë Sevigny, bouncers and designer baby slings that get the Sienna Miller seal of approval.

“Baby lists are the new wedding lists,” says Tiffany Norris, founder of the Mummy Concierge, who counts members of the royal family among her clients.

She says she has seen a 150 per cent increase in baby lists in the last year. “For my VIP clients, I usually do the list for them, then fly out to wherever they are and actually do the shopping for them.”

Even for new parents with

This story is pretty weird, folks!

It comes to us from Reddit’s “Am I the *******?” page and the teenager who wrote it is pretty fed up with her friend’s dad.

Is she acting like a jerk?

Read on and see what you think…

“I (17f) and my friend (17f) hung out like we normally do at my house.

She used to drive herself over, but she hit a deer and totaled her car (she was okay).

Friend’s dad drops and picks her up now, which was totally fine at first.

This is strange…

He does this thing – that I think is weird – where he will walk her up to the door, and walk up to the door to pick her up.

This was also fine, it may be weird but harmless.

Recently, he’s been rude (in my opinion).

He picked up Friend and instead of doing the normal thing of knocking on the door and waiting for us to answer, he just walked in.

Now, Friend just walks into my house but she has complete permission, her father does not.

Dude!

I talked to my mom about it the first time and she also thought it was very weird.

Just earlier today he came to get her, and he walked into my house.

I said something along the lines of, “did you just walk in?? Did you even knock?”

He said we don’t respond when he knocks, so I said back that he could’ve texted or called, to which he said we never reply.

Not only is that not true, but he has the ability to ping her phone through parental controls.

He’s trying to turn it around on them.

Now he says I’m getting too defensive about him walking in and says we’re doing something we shouldn’t be, but truly I just think it’s weird and rude to walk into someone’s house.

Not to mention a safety hazard, without them opening the door for you when you don’t have permission.

He told Friend he didn’t trust her and he is obviously now iffy about her coming over here.

Very luckily if he doesn’t allow her to come over we only have a few more months until we’re adults, but it would really suck.

I don’t know what to say or do anymore, but I don’t think it’s right on many levels to just walk into my house, not even my house but my mother’s house.”

Here’s what Reddit users had to say.

This person had a novel idea.

Another reader chimed in.

This Reddit user was surprised.

Another reader shared their thoughts.

And this individual spoke up.

This guy sounds pushy…and a bit creepy…

Seriously, he’s way out of line.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.

Shirley Buckingham, 83, had her left hip replaced in April 2023.

The strength in her right hip then declined and she was put on a waiting list for a second operation in September 2023.

Shirley was classed as an “urgent and high-priority” patient by Colchester Hospital.

Mother and son – Shirley Buckingham and Dave Buckingham (Image: Public) She was told by the medical team she needed to address a leg condition before they could think about operating.

After another pre-op assessment last November, son Dave, 47, claims the hospital said Shirley could be in “within one month”.

Thanks to an “incredible effort” from district nurses and private carers, her condition was resolved, but after another appointment in January, Shirley was told she had a heart condition called an atrial fibrillation.

That was resolved after medication to regulate her heartbeat, but her mobility has declined and she is now housebound and in a lot of pain.

The latest blow came last week when Shirley found out her surgeon can only perform the operation on Fridays.

As a high priority patient, Mrs Buckingham needs a post operative care unit bed and they are not available on Fridays because there are not enough staff to cover them at weekends.

Hospital – Colchester Hospital (Image: Credited) Shirley has now been told she could have to wait until April 2026 for the operation.

She said: “I expected to be put back on to the list for a date and they couldn’t give me one.

“It was such a shock to be told they can only try to fit me in before April 2026.

“I can’t be the only patient waiting for a post operative care unit bed.

“I have a lot of pain – it doesn’t seem good enough.”

Busy – Colchester Hospital (Image: Daniel Rees, Newsquest) Dave claims the hospital is “shambolic” and said the trust needs to use budgets to increase staff across vital wards.

“Mum said she doesn’t wish to live any more – she can’t take the pain,” he said.

“If they had the staffing ability to accommodate high risk patients seven days a week, especially at weekends, the issues would not have arisen now.

“We wouldn’t be facing this issue. There are so many departments in the NHS which are not seven days a week, and they need to be.

“My mum needs this operation. She stands a good chance of surviving – she wants to walk again.”

Mrs Buckingham is now due to have a pre-operative assessment appointment later this month.

Dr Tim Leary is the interim chief medical officer at East Suffolk and North Essex NHS Foundation Trust which runs the hospital.

ESNEFT’s Essex and Suffolk Elective Orthopaedic Centre, is housed in the purpose-built Dame Clare Marx Building at Colchester Hospital (Image: ast Suffolk and North Essex NHS Foundation Trust) He said: “Our dedicated patient advice and liaison Service (PALS) team, and colleagues at the Essex and Suffolk Elective Orthopaedic Centre, are working with the Buckingham family to listen to their concerns and support them further.

“We appreciate how difficult it can be for patients on our waiting lists.

“We continue to work through them in priority order, based on clinical need.

“Providing patients with safe care in our hospitals is our top priority. 

“We have assured the Buckingham family that our teams are doing all they can to see and assess patients currently on our waiting lists.

“Now that Mrs Buckingham is fit to proceed, we are having conversations with her and our clinicians to schedule a date for her surgery to go ahead.”

The supermarket chain has launched the ‘Mamia New Parent Fund’ to help parents who are struggling with the cost of having a baby.

This comes after research revealed that nearly two-thirds of parents found the financial impact of having a child greater than expected.

The study also showed that half of the parents described the experience as ‘overwhelming,’ with 45 per cent admitting increased stress due to financial pressure.

The research also found that new parents spend an average of £225 more each month on baby expenses, with nappies and baby food being the most surprising costs.

Julie Ashfield, chief commercial officer at Aldi UK, said: “No parent ever forgets the joy of welcoming a new child, but it often also brings unexpected financial challenges.

“Even after the big-ticket purchases before the baby arrives, there are suddenly lots of new items to add to your weekly grocery list for the first time.

“As the UK’s cheapest supermarket, we’re committed to doing whatever we can to support parents in making their money go further, including through our award-winning Mamia brand.

“Our Mamia New Parent Fund is just another way that we’re supporting parents in Berkshire to help them better enjoy every moment with their new arrival.”

New parents who want to apply for Aldi’s Mamia New Parent Fund should email Aldi with a receipt showing their latest Mamia nappy purchase.

One parent will be chosen each week throughout the year to receive a £100 voucher to spend in any UK Aldi store.

Octomom Natalie ‘Nadya’ Suleman is ready to tell her story.

During the docuseries Confessions of Octomom, the mom of 14 opens up about everything, from her in vitro fertilization journey to harrowing moments in the delivery room. Despite being told that she was only carrying seven children at the time, Suleman said she knew there was an eighth child, calling it “mother’s intuition.”

“Something in the back of my mind told me there’s eight. It’s mother’s intuition,” she said. “I kept asking. I keep reiterating over and over, ‘Are you certain there’s not an eighth?’ and [the ultrasound technician] said, ‘Absolutely not. I’m a very skilled ultrasound technician. If there were eight, I’d see them.’ “

“Not that he wasn’t a skilled technician, but the more [children] there are — all the doctors were confirming — the less likely you are able to discern exactly how many there are,” she continued. “So after [the seventh baby], a resident went in to examine the uterus to make sure everything’s okay, and he felt a hand. So, there was a hidden baby H. He was one of the biggest. How did they miss a 3 ¹/₂ pound baby? He was pretty big, so that was shocking.”

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Related: No Meat, No Phones, No Social Media: Inside Octomom Natalie ‘Nadya’ Suleman’s Strict Rules for Teen Octuplets (Exclusive)

Suleman admits that her pregnancy with her octuplets “shockingly enough had zero complications,” as she continued her life as usual. The proud mom said she was “extremely active” until one move landed her in the hospital.

“I was making myself a lot of food in the kitchen, and I went back to the room to bed and laid down and I started eating my food,” she explained. “I crunched on a cracker, and then I turned and I heard cracking.”

“My ribs were broken and I was in such excruciating pain, but I had to force myself to get to the phone to call 911, so I kind of flopped myself down on the ground from the bed, like a beached whale, and I pulled myself to the phone and I opened it, called 911, and I said, ‘I need help.’ ” she continued.

It’s been 16 years since she first made headlines and history, giving birth to the world’s first surviving octuplets, a feat that earned her the nickname Octomom and led to a chaotic life of infamy before she retreated from the spotlight in 2013.

As she remerges with a push from her now 16-year-old octuplets, and with the help of a new Lifetime film I Was Octomom and subsequent docuseries Confessions of Octomom, Suleman is taking stock in her incredible, and at times harrowing, journey.

Suleman was already a mother of six children — Amerah, Calyssa, Elijah, Caleb, Joshua and Aidan — when she gave birth to her octuplets, Noah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Jonah, Josiah, Makai, Maliyah and Nariyah. The docuseries will feature the octuplets and her six older children, who were all born via IVF. Ahead of it all, she opened up to PEOPLE exclusively, saying, “My family and I are taking our life back,” as she works to own her complicated narrative.

“I’ve been saying, I want to keep [her children] safe and protect my kids, and well, they’re older now,” she shared. “They’re turning 16 and making the decision to really do this.”

I Was Octomom premiered on March 8, while Confessions of Octomom premiered on March 10, both on Lifetime.

Read the original article on People

PHOENIX – Eight years have passed since a former Phoenix Police officer and his wife faced allegations of abusing and murdering his 7-year-old daughter.

The couple spent the past seven years in jail, but on March 10, a judge ordered new release conditions as prosecutors are no longer seeking the death penalty.

The backstory:

The December 2017 indictment alleges 10 counts of child abuse and the first-degree murder of 7-year-old Sanaa Cunningham.

Sanaa died while in the custody of her father, former Phoenix Police Det. Germayne Cunningham, and stepmother Lisa Cunningham.

The child’s biological mother, Silvia Norwood, reportedly called Glendale Police two months before her death for a welfare check.

Norwood spoke with FOX 10 following the judge’s decision.

She said it was photos she saw on Facebook of Sanaa that immediately raised flags.

“Anybody would have noticed she didn’t look the same. She didn’t look like that same child,” Norwood said.

‘I never got a chance to say goodbye’

She looked frail, sad, and quiet, she said, adding that the young girl appeared to have lost her joy.

“They may have taken her the way they did, but I still have her right here,” Norwood said, while lightly patting her chest.

The indictment claims there was 10 months of child abuse before Sanaa’s death, with allegations the child was zip-tied inside a pack-and-play the day before she was taken to the hospital, and later died.

“I never got a chance to say goodbye,” Norwood said.

The other side:

Lisa’s lawyer, Eric Kessler, says this case involves medical negligence.

“The Cunninghams, for about a year before the child died, tried to move mountains to get appropriate medical care,” Kessler said.

The case has the Australian government involved on Lisa’s defense.

‘There is certainly no crime here’

“Lisa, being an Australian citizen, has received a lot of help from the Australian government from their state department. They are just as flummoxed as the defense and all of our experts. There is certainly no crime here, much less a murder,” he said.

Judge Patricia Starr set a half a million dollar secured bond for the Cunninghams with supervision and electronic monitoring.

Their trial is set for July.

“Until then, there is no closure. I am still not grieving how one should be able to grieve,” Norwood said.

The Arizona Department of Child Safety was reportedly called multiple times on the father, with an active case pending when Sanaa died.

What’s next:

Their trial is set for July.This trial is expected to take 8–12 weeks, with a dozen medical experts scheduled to take the stand.

Crime and Public SafetyMaricopa CountyPhoenixNews

New Delhi:

Saif Ali Khan’s son Ibrahim’s debut film Nadaaniyaan opened to poor reviews from critics and the audience alike. The Internet heavily thrashed the film for its “mindless” take on love, romance and relationships. Hrithik Roshan’s mother Pinkie Roshan, now, joined the bandwagon, and called the film “mindless.”

It all started when Freddy Birdy shared a review of the film, which read, “Two things immediately disqualify me from writing a review for Nadaaniyan. One, I am not in my twenties. And two, I have a brain. Having got that little detail out of the way, I liked the fact that we are slowly steering back to the mindless romantic comedy, full emphasis on being mindless.”

“Nadaaniyan starts like it were Student of the Year Part Three. Then, its graphics meander into Crazy Rich Asians territory. The rich people are called Singhania, Jaisingh and Oberoi. The poor people have surnames like Mehta, Wagle and Birdy. 

“Rich people might have money, but they never have happiness. Poor people have a Noida address, but they also have the beautiful Dia Mirza as their mom and are blissfully content. Rich people wear floor to ceiling black suits like Suniel Shetty and want male heirs. Poor people are doctors, and they live in Noida. Show me a poor doctor today, and I will watch Nadaaniyan thrice…,” it continued.

Hrithik Roshan’s mother wrote, “Totally go with this hilarious review thaough I loved Ibrahim Ali Khan” in the comments section.

Take a look at the post here:

Nadaaniyaan, directed by Shauna Gautam, features Ibrahim Ali Khan and Khushi Kapoor in the lead. The film released on the streaming giant Netflix on March 7. 

Have you ever had a secret trick that you didn’t want to share with anyone? Some families have recipes they are sworn never to share with outsiders. Other folks have tricks they use at work that give them a competitive advantage that could be used against them if they let it out of the bag. Other people use secret techniques to be likable but fear being seen as manipulative if they share them.

Everyone has their own “secret sauce” that makes them unique. A couple of hundred of them were very kind and shared those secret life hacks on a recent social media post where someone asked, “What’s a life hack so good you almost don’t want to share it?” They received over 3500 responses, and we culled the best from them to make our readers’ lives easier.

The advice covers everything from how to win an argument to finding precious metals at your local second-hand store. The life hacks that are “so good” also include ways to prevent potentially aggravating people from getting in your face and the power of learning how to smile.

Here are 17 life hacks that are “so good” that people almost didn’t want to share them. (Thankfully, they did.)

1. That’s where it goes

“If you look for something and it’s not in the first place you look, THAT IS THE PLACE WHERE IT GOES. So when you find it, put it in the first place you looked for it.”

2. How to argue (from a lawyer)

“When arguing about something, ask what their interests (‘why’ they want/don’t want something) are rather than their position. Usually, it’s easier to come to an agreement if you approach a conflict from this angle. Also, conceding a minor point during the argument ‘you’re right about x’ and ‘I don’t disagree with y’ tends to lessen the guard of your opposition and thus making it easier to get what you want out of them.”

“I just saw something similar to this. If you and another person are arguing over who gets a lemon, you’ll eventually agree to just cut it in half. But if you ask why they want the lemon, you’ll find out one person wants to juice it and one person wants the skin for zest for a recipe, so each party can have 100% of what they want if they just take the time to see the ‘why’ of the other person.”

“Whenever arguing with someone and it’s going round and round trying to come up with a compromise, ask ‘what does a solution look like to you?’ Half the time they got no clue the other half is something you willing to compromise. It has cut down every single argument in my relationship.”

3. How to stop a ‘Karen’ in their tracks

“I work as a receptionist, and my supervisor always asks me how our guests like me even if they are rude to other staff. My trick is when someone is checking in that looks like a typical Karen I always give them a compliment like ‘where did you get your nails done? They are so pretty!’ It usually works.”

“I used be in maintenance for a huge school district. Whenever I was sent to a school where the office staff had a reputation for being cranky complainy crabby pants, I had a whole song and dance I’d run through when I got there. I’d walk into the office with a big smile, acting like the nicest person in the world, just a big dumb puppy who has no idea this is a “crabby admin” school. Then, when the timing is right, I’d let slip the casual comment of ‘I really like coming to this school, everyone is so nice!’ It’s like a magic spell. The grumpuses always tried to live up to my unrealistic view of them, and were always at least reasonable, if not downright pleasant. It always felt like cheating, but really all I was doing was setting an example they wanted to follow.”

4. Buy the same socks

“Find a pair of socks you really like. Buy like…. 40 pairs. Throw out your other socks. Now you can just grab any two socks and have a pair. Get a hole in one? Throw it out. You still have tons of others of the same.”

5. The 3 hobbies rules

“I was thinking about what I need to be happy, and came to the conclusion that I need 3 hobbies: one creative, one physical, and one social. For social, I do board game nights weekly. This ensures I have something planned for the week to look forward to. For physical, I go to the gym, which, to be honest, I hate and have always hated, so I took up bouldering too. This is a great hobby because it can also be very social, and it’s also just fun. And for creative, I dabble in things like drawing, knitting, and other needlework. I also throw in reading here too, because it can make you think and imagine. If you play D&D, this can also combine with social. I’ve been extremely happy since figuring out for myself. I’ve always had a list of hobbies I want to try, but this helps me organize them.”

6. Learn how to smile

“A genuine looking— and I say looking because it doesn’t need to actually be genuine, smile. It will disarm people making them more comfortable around you, you’ll be more likely to get dates, you’ll be more likely to get jobs, you’ll be more likely to make friends, your dating profile will look better, your wedding pics will look better, hell your social media will look better. Learn how to smile. Look it up on YouTube.”

7. The bathroom test

“Being in the restaurant business for over 20 years now, if you go into a restaurant and their bathrooms are dirty, then get out of there. It means most likely, of course, not always, that their kitchen is just as dirty. If the general manager doesn’t care about what the guests can see, he’s definitely not caring about what the guest can’t see and that gets you such a higher chance of food poisoning.”

8. Wake up a little earlier

“Getting up consistently to start your day at a reasonable hour – regardless of intent to go anywhere or do anything – really does give you extra time in the week to get sh*t done.”

9. How to make someone like you

“To get someone to like you, ask them two questions, then after the second one, validate their response. Repeat. That’s it. It’s alarmingly effective. Just ask them any question about something they seem like they might want to talk about. hobbies or job or whatever. if you dont know anything about them, ask about the best place they’ve traveled, or would like to go if they haven’t traveled. then, whatever they say, just ask a follow-up question about it. Then whatever they say to that, just say something positive that supports their opinion. it can be as simple as ‘that seems really cool’ or something more specific that shows you’ve been listening and agree/support them.”

10. Visualize your life

“Ask yourself what your ideal happy life would look like, and then isolate each aspect as an objective to work towards, always breaking down larger goals into smaller doable steps. Makes things seem less daunting and gives you feasable objectives to work towards.”

11. Know the goal of the conversation

“Before entering any difficult conversation, conflict, apology, request, etc, you should know what your goal of the conversation for yourself is. What do you want the outcome to be? How do you want this interaction to end? How do you want both parties to be left feeling? Know this first, then practice running both sides in your head a few times. Crucially, this prepares you direct the conversation for the outcome you want, instead of just saying what you really want say. Know your goal, and you’re way more likely to reach it.”

12. Thrift store jewelry

“Second-hand shops—check the jewelry because, funnily enough, the volunteers working there probably don’t know much about gold. I make a fair good chunk of cash a year going through jewelry at thrift stores.”

13. Bake bacon

“Piece of parchment paper over any type of pan. Bam, no mess. People boiling it in skillets on the stove are living in the stone age.”

14. How to talk to new people

“When the conversation starts to die or needs a pick me up, ask what the people around you did that day. It sounds really simple, but not a lot of people get asked this question regularly, so it’s likely you’ll get a genuine answer and make the person feel like you’re interested and invested. This is my hack for work events, family you haven’t seen in ages, or a friend of a friend you just met and your mutual friend just left you two alone. I think it’s safe to assume it would be a good icebreaker on a first date as well.”

15. Self-control through pain

“The only thing in control of your mind and body is you. Go stand out in the rain and fight the instinct to flee inside. Find your zen. Overcome your base instincts and then figure out how to apply them to the rest of your life. Hunger, anxiety, self-esteem issues, etc, all things to overcome, master, and control.”

16. Easy investment

“Invest (a portion of ) every paycheck into an S&P 500 index fund. It’s easy, the fees are incredibly low (nobody seems to understand mutual funds that are not index charge a fee! and if you do it consistently you will end up with money. Proven through depressions, recessions, and large-scale wars. That is all.”

17. Know their name

“When a customer service person (finally) answers the phone and says ‘my name is [NAME], [something something] how can I help you?’ I make a note of their name and say, “Hi [NAME], how’s it going/how are you doing?” in a friendly, conversational tone before introducing myself & my issue. Customer service is a soulless job and involves dealing with a lot of belligerent people, so setting the tone and establishing a rapport by mentioning their names makes it a little more personal and tends to lead to better outcomes. Can probably expand this to all interactions, tbh.”

This article originally appeared in January.

At the height of the pandemic when COVID-19 was taking a heavier toll on Black people, Gov. Phil Murphy signed a law that required hospitals and labs in New Jersey to collect more detailed demographic information on its patients.

Four years later, the law has taken a surprising turn. Hospitals are handing out forms asking pregnant and post-partum mothers the gender identity and sexual orientation of their babies, according to a patient in South Jersey.

“What sex was your baby assigned at birth?”

“Which of the following best describes your baby? Lesbian or gay; straight or heterosexual, bisexual, questioning/unsure, prefer not to answer.”

The form from Inspira Health explains the questions are required under state law, and to help the hospital fulfill its mission “to provide a safe and compassionate experience.”

The 2021 law required medical professionals to ask patients not only about their race and ethnicity, but their gender identity and sexual orientation, as well. Patient participation is voluntary.

Lillie Mingle said when she received the form in a packet from the hospital, “I was shocked, and then disgust set in. Regardless on my own personal beliefs, the language used alone was very troubling.”

Mingle posted the form on social media, which got responses from other mothers who said they had received a similar questionnaire while at other hospitals not affiliated with Inspira.

State Sen. Holly Schepisi, R-Bergen, got wind of the chatter and investigated. On Friday, she said she was drafting legislation that would amend the law to introduce some “common sense.”

“I understand why for certain populations, this information could be helpful for finding appropriate care in the event someone is trans, gay, bisexual,” Schepisi said.

“But this is not a common sense approach. Having to ask if a newborn child is gay is just stupid,” she said.

A spokesman for Inspira Health, which operates four hospitals in Cumberland, Gloucester and Salem counties, said the health system was just following the law.

“Inspira Health, along with every other acute care hospital in New Jersey, is required by New Jersey law and the State of New Jersey Department of Health to request their patients provide their race, ethnicity, sexual orientation and gender identity,” spokesman Paul Simon said. “Patients are permitted to decline to provide this information.”

A spokeswoman for the state Health Department confirmed that health facilities are required to gather this demographic data from their patients. But they do have some leeway on how they do it.

“The Department stresses that any collection of sexual orientation, gender identity data should be done in a clinically appropriate and culturally competent manner, including patient populations for which certain data may not be appropriate, as in the case for newborns,” state spokeswoman Dalya Ewais said. “We also recommend that hospitals develop internal policies and procedures based on clinical advice to assist their employees in collecting such data.”

Schepisi said she’s heard from hospital officials who have asked the state health department for a waiver from having to pose these questions under these circumstances. She said her goal is to clarify what’s required.

She’s speaking to pediatricians to find out what is the appropriate age to consider a child’s gender and sexual identity. But clearly newborns, toddlers and kindergartners should not be targeted, Schepisi said.

“Mandating that parents identify the sexual orientation and gender identity of their newborn child is an absurd waste of medical professionals’ time and resources,” Schepisi said. “This form serves no practical medical purpose for the care of a newborn baby. My legislation would rescind this ridiculous mandate passed by Trenton Democrats.”

Mingle, who is in the third trimester of her pregnancy, said she doesn’t have a problem with the hospital staff.

“I want to be clear— no one is angry at the nurses doing their jobs. They are told by higher ups what is mandatory and unfortunately they do not have a voice to oppose,” she said.

Still, none of this makes sense, she said, adding the hospital has never asked her to fill out the questionnaire on her own behalf.

“It’s my hope that it will be completely rescinded soon, I know how hard it is freshly postpartum to have coherent thoughts to even push back on such a thing,” Mingle said.

Susan K. Livio may be reached at slivio@njadvancemedia.com. Follow her on X @SusanKLivio and Bluesky at susanklivio.bsky.social.