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Tag: support

  • Stay At Home Mum Depression Is Something We Need To Talk About

    Stay at home mum (SAHM) depression… the elephant in the room nobody talks about. I mean, how dare you complain after being gifted this opportunity to stay at home and raise your own kids?

    But it’s not that simple: of course we SAHM’s are grateful to stay home and raise our young but that it’s literally all we become.

    No one talks about the isolation. No one talks about the loss of identity. No one talks about the loneliness. No one talks about losing your sense of self. No one talks about how you had to give up your career because it’s cheaper for you to stay home.

    No one talks about how you cry in the shower because your day was overwhelming. No one understands why you’re tired. No one understands why you’re irritable. No one understands why you need a mental break. No one understands why you’re so aggravated with your kids.

    No one understands why after you’ve been home all day, the house is a wreck still. No one understands why you just need 5 minutes with no one speaking to or touching you. No one understands why you’ve lost your sex drive. No one understands why you’re completely and utterly exhausted, after all, you just sit at home all day.

    No one understands the feeling you have when you are told you don’t have a “real job.”

    Most of us were working women at one point. We got to go to a job and interact with other adults outside our home. We contributed financially to our household. (Shoot, most of us want some kind of side hustle or part-time job because it would sure help with financial relief.)

    We didn’t feel like an endless maid. We got that break away (even though yes, work is a love/ hate relationship) that gives you space from the people you live with (children, spouse, etc.) because yes, every relationship needs time away in it to not go crazy being around each other 24/7. That’s not healthy. Contrary to popular belief – you need a break daily.

    I can’t tell you how many women I meet or know that say “oh, you have too much time on your hands,” I sure wish I could stay home, I wouldn’t complain.”

    Good for you!

    I can guarantee you will change your mind 6 months in, unless you’re wealthy and have money to constantly go do things. I once was you. I wished upon a star I could stay home with my kids because I wanted to spend all the time I could. I didn’t realise what all came with being a SAHM.

    Oh but you chose to have those kids. You should’ve thought about that before having them. If you didn’t want to go through all this you should’ve never had kids. And you said you want more?

    Seriously… Heard those all before.

    Next time you hear or see a SAHM venting her frustrations, listen and make her feel like she’s somebody. That her struggles are not invalid.

    Thanks Momma’s Tired for shedding light on depression and voicing the challenges many mums face. For being honest because for many, this is a typical week.

    Check out Momm’s tired on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/themommastired/

  • How Did You Sleep Last Night?

    How did you sleep last night? How much did you spend on a your night out? How much was your takeaway?

    So last night while I was out in Derby with the girls! I stumbled across a kind, polite homeless man called Dwayne Padmore, 36. He was wrapped under a red blanket. Making no eye contact with the world. Just trying to stay warm and keep himself to himself.

    I asked him if he would like some food. To which he replied “Yes Please”. I got him a Tuna & Cheese foot long meal deal from Subway

    On my return I sat down with him and had a little chat and I learned his story, he has only been on the streets for 6m after losing his Property, Job and Family.

    Dwayne has 2 children, son Jack 12 and a daughter Jorja 10 and only gets to see them once a month.

    He used to be a food service chef and his hobbies are Music, Gym and Football being a life long Liverpool supporter.

    He says he spends his nights outside Farsight Recruitment Ltd in Derby, he gave no reason as to why he chose this doorway.

    Dwayne said his biggest ambition in life is to make sure his children are alright.

    The more I talked to him. The more I felt he needed some help. So if can afford to buy a round of cocktails for £30, I can afford to put this man up in a hotel for a night, with a nice hot shower, warm bed and some home comforts. Hallmark Hotel Derby Midland

    The next time you see a homeless person, Stop & Think. Every person has a story to be told. This man is pretty much my age, with two children. On the streets and in need of some help.

    I hope you slept well Dwayne and Thanks to all of you that made this mans night better!

    This is to try to raise a bit of awareness about homelessness. PLEASE SHARE

    Credit Natalie Cobden

  • Everyone Warned Me That Cuddling My Baby Will Result In A Clingy Teenager

    ‘I’ve been rocking and cuddling my baby to sleep since that day he was born. I mentioned this to a nurse at my clinic recently. She said that she did the same thing with her son, and everyone warned her that she would still have a teenager sleeping in her bed. And then she told me that, a few weeks ago, her teenage son came home from school very upset.

    He didn’t want to talk, and just went to his room and listened to his music, typed on his phone and cried. The mother gave her son space, and night time came and she went to bed. Just as she was about to turn off her side light, the door opened, and her 15 year old padded into the room.

    He climbed into the bed with her, laid his head on her shoulder and cried. He told her all about the girl that broke his heart, all about the friends who laughed, all about the stresses of being him. She told him about her first broken heart, about friends who’d been cruel, and told him she understands. They talked in the dark for hours, until he fell asleep in her bed. Still sad but relieved after their talk.

    ‘So you see’ she said to me, when she finished the story. ‘I was so scared that I wound wind up with a teenager who would ‘need me’ at night, that I never stopped to consider how beautiful that would really be.’

    Above story by the beautiful L.R.Knost – Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources

    When we stop listening to the unnecessary noise around us, we begin to tune in to who is right in front of us.

    Image by Angelickpicture https://www.instagram.com/angelickpicture/

  • If He Is Kicking and Screaming Its Just His Way Of Coping

    If he falls to the floor, kicking and screaming, because there’s no chicken nuggets, it’s just his way of coping. Be patient, you’ll get your turn to order.

    If he bumps his head and starts to hit himself in the face, don’t stare, it’s his frustration. Mum will handle it, she see’s it everyday.

    If mum is cutting her child’s food, she’s not treating him like baby

    She just doesn’t want her son to choke.

    If he ignores your child on the playground, he’s not a brat. he’s just not good at social interaction. he would love to play with your child, he just doesn’t know how.

    He may be too big to sit in the shopping trolley, no, he’s not lazy. He wants to run around, but his mum needs to shop. She’s not up for chasing him today.

    If he has to be carried out screaming, it’s probably because of a meltdown. Be helpful, open the door. Don’t just stare or whisper. No, it’s not because he didn’t get the toy he wanted. If it were only that simple.

    Don’t talk to him like a child, unless he is one. Don’t yell, he’s not deaf. he may not talk, but he can understand.

    No, it’s not bad parenting. Discipline won’t help.

    This is autism, it’s his life. Don’t judge him, he’s not judging you.

     

  • Winnie The Pooh On Depression-Perfect Read

    It occurred to Pooh 🐻 and Piglet 🐷 that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats 🎩 and coats 🧥 and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood🌲 to Eeyore’s stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.

    “Hello Eeyore,” said Pooh.

    “Hello Pooh. 🐻 Hello Piglet 🐷” said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice

    “We just thought we’d check in on you,” said Piglet, “because we hadn’t heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay.”

    Eeyore was silent for a moment. “Am I okay?” he asked, eventually. “Well, I don’t know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That’s what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All.

    Which is why I haven’t bothered you. Because you wouldn’t want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now.”

    Pooh looked and Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.

    Eeyore looked at them in surprise. “What are you doing?”

    “We’re sitting here with you,” said Pooh, “because we are your friends. And true friends don’t care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are.” 💜💚

    “Oh,” said Eeyore. “Oh.” And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better.

    Because Pooh and Piglet were There.

    No more; no less.

    A.A.Milne

  • When A Mother Says Shes’s Tired That’s All She Meant

    When a mother says she’s tired, that’s all she meant!

    She did not say she wants to drop her child and forget that he or she exists.

    When a mother says she wanted some time alone, just her, that’s all she meant!

    She didn’t say she’s sorry to be a mother and that motherhood was a mistake in her life.

    When a mother says she needs help to get things done, that’s exactly what she meant!

    She is not saying that she is incapable.

    When a mother makes noodles for dinner, it does not mean she does noodles every day of the week and that her son/daughter is a child who does not know vegetables and meats.

    When you arrive at a mother’s house and face disorganization, it doesn’t mean that every day that house is disorganized.

    When a mother says she’d love to go out with her friends, that’s all she meant! She doesn’t want to go back to being “Single / not a mother” and like it as if she had no responsibility.

    When a mother says she’s worried and afraid, that’s what she meant! She didn’t say she’s going to falter, and much less she’s a coward.

    When you listen to a mother screaming, it doesn’t mean she just screams, probably she has spoken 300 times with normal voice tone.

    When you see a nervous mother, on the edge of madness, doesn’t mean every day she’s in that situation.

    There is a whole context, a whole situation.

    Do not invent untruths to judge someone, let alone a woman who every day, at all times, gives up her own life to live the life of another being that she knows is much more important than her.

    In the world there is no human being able to give up and donate as much as a mother!

    And they deserve a lot of understanding and fewer trials. ✍️💖

    Credit Charity Beth

  • I’m The Lady With The Baby In Heaven

    I’m the lady with the baby in heaven

    I am the lady whose baby died. One day my baby was living and the next day she was gone. That is what happened. It doesn’t offend me if you acknowledge this. It’s actually nice someone takes an interest.

    It offends me when you don’t.

    You see, I know that my baby died. I will not forget this. So, when you whisper about it like it’s a secret that feels shameful. It makes me feel like you’re embarrassed for me. I’m not embarrassed about my baby and I’m not embarrassed that she died. I’m sad and heartbroken that she died. It’s different.

    I am allowed to be sad that my baby died. Please stop trying to cheer me up. When you respond by trying to cheer me up, it feels dismissive. Being supportive does not mean making me happy, it means sticking around even when I’m not. When you honor my emotions, you honor my child.

    When I say my daughter’s name and you not-so-subtly change the subject, you are not doing so to “protect me.” You are avoiding the subject of my child because you are uncomfortable. If you were talking about your own loved one and I stopped meeting your gaze or frantically switched topics, you would be upset with me. Same.

    My baby is not an awkward topic. She is a person. She is my daughter. I am not awkward about that, so why are you?

    Please understand, I believe that when you do these things it is with the best intentions, but I need you to know that your intentions have a painful impact. So, while you get to stroll away with your good intentions, I am left with the hurtful impact you left behind.

    I may be the lady whose baby died but you can still talk to me like you did when I was the lady who was going to have a baby. You can still say her name and let me know that you care about her. You can still ask me how I’m doing and wait around to hear my answer.

    Please don’t ignore my truth, especially when I am so strongly committed to sharing it. I have not made my baby’s death a secret, so I don’t need your help in hiding hee. That’s where the struggle comes from. I have to keep talking about her and saying her name because she can’t. I can’t stop because then she will disappear.

    I know you want to change what happened to me. But, you can’t. I will always be the lady whose baby died. I will always be the woman who is living without her child. I am okay talking about that. Are you?

  • What To Say In An Emergency When Out Partying

    TO ALL DJ’S, DOOR STAFF, BAR STAFF, MANAGERS

    INFO…And anyone going out to party

    A dj was approached while working by a young girl and asked for the first time, “Is Angela working tonight?” – having read about the #AskforAngela initiative He knew instantly what she was referencing, said yes, told her to jump in the DJ booth with him, (she was extremely nervous…) and in turn asked the nearest security guard the same question. Luckily, he too knew, and the young girl was escorted through the back of the venue and into a taxi immediately. Her “date” upon returning from the bathroom was asked to leave by management, he without delay turned violent and security stepped-in.

    Basically, #AskforAngela is a scheme in place (established in the UK) which aims at reducing sexual violence and vulnerability by providing WOMEN and MEN with a subtle phrase to assist getting them out of potentially dangerous and helpless situations. First-dates, Tinder-dates or frankly getting home alone after a night out can unfortunately (history-proven) be a risk. I urge all DJs, venues, those in hospitality/night-life to look into the concept and educate yourselves and your staff. It may seem extreme, but sometimes you may be someones only option,

     

  • You Are Strong, You Can Walk Away From An Abuser

    An abusive person uses threats and violence to keep a victim compliant.

    To manipulate,.destruct and destroy.

    In a place where they have control

    Fearful to make eye contact for fear of retribution.

    They don’t want you to gaze at them

    If challenged.a coward will run

    They will see the pain in your eyes

    And perhaps

    They see themselves reflected back.

    Evil, cruel, callous and unkind.

    Then they lose the grip and over on you

    So please I’m absolutely begging you

    Left your head and see the world as a beautiful place

    See the abuser for what they are

    Cold staring ugly weasel eyes.

    No light will ever reach their soul.

    Only the fires that burn in hell

    Go back to the mirror please look again

    Detach the wounded inner self

    Love forgive and console your self

    Gaze upon a survivors reflection

    Look deep in to their eyes

    Deep down inside

    To go down to the absolute depths of despair.

    There’s only one way to go now

    Up up up up and up again

    Gaining control of your own destiny

    Please take heart things get better

    Let others love you and find out how special that you are.

    Let down the guard.

    Learn to trust your own instincts

    Draw upon your strengths

    There is no room at the inn to fail

    As my dear please believe in yourself

    Your worth a million bullies

    Strong dignified and pure inside.

    You didn’t want or ask for it

    Go into your soul and bring out the light

    With trust and compassion

    With your dignity and poise

    These are your gifts no one can destroy

    Please don’t believe ugly names toy we’re often called.

    Reverse your thinking strategy

    These names they shout is who

    They really are not you.

    Be true to you and only you

    Be brave and stand your ground

    Be your own saviour

    Remove the brick wall of isolation

    Let the hurt child in you move on

    Only then you can believe and dream

    Get help and close the wounded part

    There will always be scars and confusion

    But don’t let these people dictate

    Your life now free of aBuse

    Chin up and look up

    Be proud of all your little victories

    And rejoice breaking that cycle

    Of pain, confusion, and suffering.

    Be strong as you have survived

    And you are slowly starting to heal

    Don’t waste time on drink and drugs

    It doesn’t help and you will

    Just get arrested and locked up.

    The pain and heartache will

    Still be there in the cold daylight.

    Credit Diane Ginn

  • I’ve Been Fighting My Demons Now I’m Giving Back

    I’ve given myself 8 weeks to train for the hardest challenge of my life by attempting to burpee (The burpee or squat thrust is a full body exercise, basically you start in a standing position, move into a squat position with your hands on the ground,kick your feet into a plank position, return to squat position and repeat) around Abbey Fields in Colchester for 1.5 miles

    I’ve battled mentally for a long time in silence with my depression and suicidal thoughts. 
     
    To share before how I felt was a sign of weakness and would ruin my personal and professional life. But I no longer have anything left to lose.

    It’s so easy to fake your happiness over social media without realizing the ones closest to you are fighting the hardest battles    

    Exercise has always been my therapy and keeps my demons at bay and if I can help inspire others to reach out in times of need like others have done with me, then this physical challenge and pain will be worth every step.

    Samaritans do an amazing job at supporting those at when they need it most or when you feel you can’t turn to anyone for help or support so this is the charity I will be raising money for so that they can continue to help others in a similar situation to what I continue to go through 

    I appreciate all your support, kind words and love and when I feel I can’t keep going I remember all the people who love me and genuinely want to see me happy.

    To help support Gabriel Beckett please check out his just giving page below

    https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/gabriel-beckett