Welcome to Mums Advice

Tag: support

  • This Is What Friendship Looks Like

    This is what friendship looks like👇🏼

    I am currently walking through the hardest season of my life, and as Mama’s we feel like we’ve always gotta put on our big girl pants and just muscle through. Never let ‘em see you sweat, right? Oh girl…if there’s one thing this season has taught me, it’s that that sort of lie is terribly dangerous to believe.

    I needed my people today. I thought I just needed to call them up and cry about what was happening, and then while on the phone, my sweet friend asked me such an important question. She asked me to just say what I needed and wanted most.

    I told her that I didn’t want to be alone.

    Her response :: “I’m on my way.”

    I started in with all of the reasons she couldn’t and shouldn’t come… “My house is a disaster.” “I don’t want to burden you.” “It’s such a long drive.”

    Her response :: “Sister, I don’t care about any of that. You said you don’t want to be alone, so I’m coming.”

    Not only did she make the trek from Greeley to Fort Collins, but she picked up another sweet friend along the way. They picked up lunch, they walked into my house, gave me the biggest hugs, and asked “What can we do?”

    My disaster of a house? They helped me clean it, and assured me it wasn’t that bad. They let me cry, they made me laugh, we listened to music, and most importantly…

    I. Wasn’t. Alone. 💕

    Mama, if you’re going through a rough season…know that you don’t have to do it by yourself. You don’t even have to know what you need — just start by asking to not be alone.

    I know there is someone in your life who will say to you “I’m on my way,” if only you’d ask.

    And Mama if you have a friend who you know is going through it, just offer to come and be there with her. Actually don’t offer…just tell her you’re coming.

    Because I guarantee she wants that more than anything, and she’s having a hard time being able to say it.

    Praying for all of you walking the tough roads right now…whatever that may look like for you, know that you’re not walking it alone! We love you, Mama! 💕

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/nocomomsblog/

     

  • If You Don’t Pay Child Support You Are Scum

    If you don’t pay child support, as a man, you’re a piece of shit.

    .

    For some dumb reason I have men message me and ask questions in frustration with their ex spouse, my first question is… are you up to date on child support? If the answer is anything other than YES, I’m done listening to you. I don’t care if your Ex is crazy, I don’t care if she spends it on herself, I don’t care if she burns the money.

    No good man will ever have a problem with giving money to a woman, he got pregnant, for the children she bore for him. At the end of the day if a woman birthed your child and now has to fight with you to help take care of that child, you are worthless and if you think you are an excuse to this post you are not. If you don’t have 100% custody or pay for child support you need to reflect long and hard. You are the problem. Period.

    .

    .

    I’ve had this stupid question a lot from some of you single Fathers and I’m tired of it. STEP UP AND BE A MAN, YOU HAD THE CHILDREN, NOW TAKE CARE OF THEM.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/TheMuscleOfDieselSellerz/

     

  • Why Doesn’t She Just Leave

    Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

    Because he has her so brainwashed that it’s all her fault and that she’s no good to anyone and no one will want her or love her and there’s no way she can possibly make it on her own.

    Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

    Because she thinks that if she just tries harder and if she’s a better wife and a better mom that maybe he will be happy with her and he wouldn’t get so angry with her. And maybe he will be the same sweet, charming man that he was when they first met.

    Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

    Because he has her convinced that if she tries he will hurt or kill her or her family. Because he has threatened to tell the judge that she is a bad mom and will take away her kids and she will never see them again. Because he has taken away her money and convinced her that she has no good job qualities to make it on her own financially and she will always need him.

    More people are concerned with why women stay in abusive relationships than why men are abusing women. Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship people have no idea how hard it is to escape. Abusers are able to fool those outside the home because they usually only abuse those inside the home.

    They need your support.

    They need your love.

    They do not need your judgement.

    Let’s raise awareness 💜

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/slimmingandinchloss

     

  • Vulnerable Woman To Be Locked Up At Night

    My sister Ruth has complex learning disabilities. She’s autistic, non-verbal, epileptic and unable to wash herself, feed herself or go to the toilet. She needs 24hr care. Ruth has a nice, busy life, living in her own home thanks to the excellent care we as a family have had to fight so hard for.

    All of this is being threatened and Ruth is potentially being put in danger because her overnight care workers have been replaced with a technology system. That’s why I’m asking East Renfrewshire Council to reinstate Ruth’s overnight carers and not leave her alone at night.

    Ruth is now 27 years old and has only been living independently for 6 months with her carers. It has been fantastic to see her begin a new independent life, and wonderful to see my parents finally be able to rest after many years of struggle. Everyone in the family could sleep soundly knowing Ruth was safe, no matter what happened to the rest of us.

    Ruth’s care workers have become not only her emotional and physical support but also her friends. They are now expected to leave her alone at the end of the day and hand over control to a technology system. 

    In this new system, Ruth would have to be locked in her home overnight, with no physical support, attention or care. Ruth wakes often in the night, sometimes in distress, and cannot go to the toilet or speak for herself. The new telecare system expects a stranger to be able to communicate with her about how she is doing and what she needs, from a camera system placed in the room. Ruth not only cannot respond to this, but is likely to find it distressing.

    Advocacy workers, police, health professionals, carers and many people in the wider community condemn the course of action being embarked upon by East Renfrewshire Council.

    Even the fire brigade had said that this could be potentially dangerous for Ruth and they don’t approve of her being left alone at night. 

    A friend whose son has similar disabilities as Ruth experienced their local authority trying to impose this new system on him. However, with a successful petition, the decision was reversed.

    I don’t want to live in a society where vulnerable people like my sister are left alone with only technology at night. I hate the additional stress that it puts upon my parents. My Mum is now staying at Ruth’s home every single night. She cannot in good conscience leave her daughter alone all night. This is not an independent life for my sister or my mother. What makes it so devastating is that it destroys the great strides made for Ruth in recent months.

    Please help us change this! I don’t think anyone as vulnerable as Ruth should ever be left locked-up, alone, in their home all night.

    Please sign the petition

    https://www.change.org/p/don-t-put-my-sister-s-life-in-danger-by-taking-away-her-carer

     

  • Today Was A Difficult Day Said Pooh

    “Today was a Difficult Day,” said Pooh.

    There was a pause.

    “Do you want to talk about it?” asked Piglet.

    “No,” said Pooh after a bit. “No, I don’t think I do.”

    “That’s okay,” said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend.

    “What are you doing?” asked Pooh.

    “Nothing, really,” said Piglet. “Only, I know what Difficult Days are like. I quite often don’t feel like talking about it on my Difficult Days either.

    “But goodness,” continued Piglet, “Difficult Days are so much easier when you know you’ve got someone there for you. And I’ll always be here for you, Pooh.”

    And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his Difficult Day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legs…he thought that his best friend had never been more right.

    Credits: I Know, I Need To Stop Talking

     

  • Don’t Throw Away Your Car Seats After A Crash

    ❗❗PSA: If you get in an collision, DON’T THROW THAT CAR SEAT AWAY ❗❗

    A car accident is one of the worst things that can happen to a family. It’s terrifying and life changing.

    Not only do you have to worry about medical bills, transportation, and insurance, but if you have a Graco seat in the vehicle, a car accident – any accident – means those seats must be replaced.

    BUT.

    That’s not the end of the story.

    After our car accident, several people told me that Graco (Newell Brands) would replace seats involved in a collision for free. I was a bit skeptical, but I was desperate, so I emailed their contact support. I was put in touch with a lovely lady named Miriam who worked tirelessly to get our boys back into Graco seats ASAP.

    She sent me boxes to put our old seats in, because these seats involved in real collisions are VITAL for their engineering team. They use these seats to improve future models, and to find aspects they want to keep. I sent those seats out last week, and last night these bright, BRAND NEW beauties showed up 😍😍😍😍

    Yes, completely FREE OF CHARGE!! I am so blessed, and so thankful to have the opportunity to continue rear-facing my 4-year-old!

    Have you ever heard of a better company??

    Thank you Graco, from the bottom of our hearts.

    Also: If you’re wondering if your child is in the right carseat for their age/size, you can find some awesome info right here!

    https://howhesraised.net/2017/06/is-your-child-safe-in-the-car/

    To those who don’t understand why extended rear-facing is so important, you can see our accident story here:

    https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2195055607243072&id=100002159616529

    ETA: I know most insurance companies will issue funds when you have to buy a new car seat, but this is just another option ☺️. And, even if your insurance replaces your seat, you should still look into sending your seat to the manufacturer for their engineering team!

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002159616529

     

  • May You Have Just One Friend Like This

    May you have that one friend.

    That one friend who you can spend all day with and not get tired of. Truly.

    That one friend who shows up at your house uninvited and knows she’s as welcome as if you’d had it planned for weeks.

    That one friend who loves and disciplines your child as her own.

    That one friend who sings your praises, cheers your victories, and calls out your bullshit.

    That one friend who asks how you are and actually listens to the answer.

    That one friend who brings you a donut for no good reason. (She knows that donuts are their own good reason.)

    That one friend who is so different from you that it doesn’t make sense for you to be friends, but somehow it totally works.

    That one friend who loves you in your pool hair & wet swimsuit as much as she does in your full makeup & prettiest dress.

    That one friend who you can ask to pray for you… and you know she actually does it. And vice versa.

    That one friend who sends you screenshots of funny memes that neither of you would dare re-post online.

    That one friend who knows that a vent session will not be held against her.

    That one friend who agrees that Taco Tuesdays should not be confined to only Tuesdays.

    That one friend who you can adventure with.

    That one friend who you can lay on the couch with and watch hours of cooking shows full of recipes that you know neither of you will EVER make.

    That one friend who knows the reason you turned down a night out is because you have strict plans to wear sweat pants and do nothing at home by yourself. And she loves you anyway.

    That one friend who has got your back. For real.

    That one friend who qualifies as a sister.

    May you have that one friend.

    (via Happy Like This)

  • I Wish Mummy Didn’t Kill Me

    I wish mummy didn’t kill me!

    This is a story about a young boy with a huge heart. And it’s a story that everyone should read and share.
    The story is about James, but ultimately, it isn’t about him. It is, about millions of other children like James, living the same nightmare across the entire world today.

    This story of James is fictional, its message hit me right in the heart . We must not ignore this issue or message.

    We must not forget James.
    My name is James and I am  6-years-old. I love my mummy and daddy, but I’m also very scared of them. They often hit me and I don’t understand or know why.

    This morning I woke up and went to school. I am good learning and do as I’m told and my teacher likes me.

    I like all my classmates, too, but I have no friends. That’s why I usually stay indoors during breaks. Nobody wants to play with me. I tried to make friends with the other children, but they said No and also said I was disgusting.

    They laugh at me because I wear the same worn-out jeans, t-shirt and torn shoes every day.

    One day after school I went into the coat room and stole a jacket that was hanging there for a long time, nobody seemed to be missing it. Then I went home alone through the snowstorm. I was shivering with cold and it was hard to walk against the strong wind. Suddenly someone pushed me forward, I fell down in the snow and someone pressed my face into it. Then they said:

    “No one likes you. Idiot!”

    They kicked me in my back and in my stomach, then they ran away and left me in the cold snow.

    I cried. Not because I was cold or injured, I cried because I did not have a single friend, even though I liked everyone else.

    As soon as I got home, my mummy ran over and grabbed me by the hair.

    “Where have you been? Why are you so wet and dirty? Bloody kid, no dinner for you, go to your room and stay there.”

    I did as my mummy told me, I went into my room and did not get out until the next day, although I was very hungry and freezing cold.

    My school work got worse and worse, and every time daddy was informed, he hit me hard. Once he hit me so hard that I could not move my index finger, I never got back the movement in my index finger and all the children laughed at me for it.

    Time went by and one day I got a lot of pain in my chest.

    Mummy and daddy did not care I was hurt. In the evening I lay in my bed and I only wanted one thing. I wish I would not hurt more, because I did not want to annoy Mummy and Daddy. I love them so much, I really do.

    The next day at school we were told to paint our biggest dream. The other children painted cars, rockets and nice dolls. I did not.

    Not because I don’t like those things, but because what I wished for most of all was a loving mummy and daddy. So I painted a family. One mummy, one daddy and their son. They played games and everyone was happy. As I painted, I cried silently. I would love to have a mummy and daddy who loved me.

    When it was my turn to show  my painting for the class, everyone laughed at me.

    I stood in front of the class and explained:

    “My biggest dream is a loving family”.

    The laughs got louder. I began to cry and said,

    “Please don’t laugh at me, this is my biggest dream! You can hit me, you can hate me, but I beg you, please don’t laugh at me.

     want parents like you have, that hug and laugh with me, who pick me up after school and are happy to see me. I know I’m ugly and weak, I know I have a crooked finger, but please don’t laugh at me.”

    The teacher tried to wipe my tears, I think some children understood me, but many continued to laugh.

    One day when I got a test back, I immediately saw that I had a bad result. I knew my mummy would be very upset.

    I was afraid to go home, but I did not know where else I would go. I slowly walked home, but I did not want to arrive. My mummy became furious.

    She grabbed me and threw me on the floor, I hit my leg hard on a chair.

    Then she hit me in my head twice. I just lay there, I could not get up. It really hurt. But mummy just left me there on the floor.

    When she came back she told me to clean up the mess, otherwise when Daddy came home he would really beat me.

    I begged Mummy not to say anything to him, but when I looked up, I saw that he was already in the doorway.

    When Mummy told him about the test, he pulled me up from the floor, he shook me and hit my face.

    I don’t remember anything after this. I woke up in the hospital. I looked at my hand, I could not touch any of my five fingers. I looked out the window and cried.

    Outside, I saw parents playing with their children, throwing balls together and hugging.

    Do you know why I cried?

    I don’t know how a hug from my mom feels like. My parents just beat me, but I love them anyway. I’ve always done my best, I’ve been good at school, but they do not like me still.

    One day I spilled some of my water, then they hit me again.

    Suddenly I got pain in my chest again. I told my mummy – but she did not care. After a while, I had to go to the hospital again, no one came and saw me.

    The doctor said that mum and dad would probably come the next day, but they did not. I waited and waited, but nobody came. I love my parents anyway.

    Two days later, James died of his injuries. In his hand the doctors found a letter that he had not written clearly.

    “Dear mummy and daddy, I’m terrified because I’m ugly, disgusting and stupid. I’m sorry because you can not love me.

    I never wanted to annoy you. All I wanted was to get a hug and hug from mummy, and hear that you loved me once. Daddy I just wanted you to play with me, hold my hand for a walk or sing for me.

    I know I’m a shame for you. I will never be those things.“

    Then James’s little heart stopped.

    This story was originally written in Russian. I’m not sure if it’s been true, but I think that matters little. It’s incredibly important anyway!

    All children are entitled to be loved. Still child abuse happens every second, every minute, every hour and every day. In all countries, all cities and all schools.

    A child’s home should be free from violence and a safe place. Children need love, tenderness and closeness, and a hug can sometimes be worth a lot more than you could ever imagine.

    Please share this story with all your friends on Facebook to remind everyone that no child should ever feel hurt or unloved.

    If you suspect a child is being abuse don’t hesitate in reporting it: https://www.gov.uk/report-child-abuse

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  • I Saw You Mama And I Know What You Need

    In the hustle of the room I peered over at my friend bent over in pain. Baby had just been born and everyone was surrounding the miracle that happened before our eyes and naturally everyone was in awe of him.

    But I was especially in awe of her. I saw you, mama. I saw the pain in your eyes and in your face and in your body. Because this is now a new season called postpartum. We tend to forget our mamas when babies are around. We ask how baby is, what does baby need, can we hold the baby, can we buy this for the baby but… what about mama? Let us not forget the hard work she endured to carry this child AND the hard road ahead to mother and heal and feed and rest and parent her other children also.

    What do mamas really need? Meals dropped off, someone to watch baby so they can shower, solid child care for her other children, house cleaners to stop by and help out. Heating pads and coffee and comfy PJs. Maybe fast food. Or a friend to fold laundry. Maybe a new movie to watch or your Netflix login. Let’s not forget the mamas. It’s just so easy to because women are incredibly strong and seem to have it all together but they need the support and the extra hands more than ever entering into that fourth trimester.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/alexmichelephotography/ and Tammy White