Category: Our stories

  • Vulnerable Woman To Be Locked Up At Night

    My sister Ruth has complex learning disabilities. She’s autistic, non-verbal, epileptic and unable to wash herself, feed herself or go to the toilet. She needs 24hr care. Ruth has a nice, busy life, living in her own home thanks to the excellent care we as a family have had to fight so hard for.

    All of this is being threatened and Ruth is potentially being put in danger because her overnight care workers have been replaced with a technology system. That’s why I’m asking East Renfrewshire Council to reinstate Ruth’s overnight carers and not leave her alone at night.

    Ruth is now 27 years old and has only been living independently for 6 months with her carers. It has been fantastic to see her begin a new independent life, and wonderful to see my parents finally be able to rest after many years of struggle. Everyone in the family could sleep soundly knowing Ruth was safe, no matter what happened to the rest of us.

    Ruth’s care workers have become not only her emotional and physical support but also her friends. They are now expected to leave her alone at the end of the day and hand over control to a technology system. 

    In this new system, Ruth would have to be locked in her home overnight, with no physical support, attention or care. Ruth wakes often in the night, sometimes in distress, and cannot go to the toilet or speak for herself. The new telecare system expects a stranger to be able to communicate with her about how she is doing and what she needs, from a camera system placed in the room. Ruth not only cannot respond to this, but is likely to find it distressing.

    Advocacy workers, police, health professionals, carers and many people in the wider community condemn the course of action being embarked upon by East Renfrewshire Council.

    Even the fire brigade had said that this could be potentially dangerous for Ruth and they don’t approve of her being left alone at night. 

    A friend whose son has similar disabilities as Ruth experienced their local authority trying to impose this new system on him. However, with a successful petition, the decision was reversed.

    I don’t want to live in a society where vulnerable people like my sister are left alone with only technology at night. I hate the additional stress that it puts upon my parents. My Mum is now staying at Ruth’s home every single night. She cannot in good conscience leave her daughter alone all night. This is not an independent life for my sister or my mother. What makes it so devastating is that it destroys the great strides made for Ruth in recent months.

    Please help us change this! I don’t think anyone as vulnerable as Ruth should ever be left locked-up, alone, in their home all night.

    Please sign the petition

    https://www.change.org/p/don-t-put-my-sister-s-life-in-danger-by-taking-away-her-carer

     

  • The Aged Care Worker-A Day In The Life Of

    Hate hearing cant be that hard cleaning bums.

    The Aged Care Worker’ – a day in the life of…

    It’s 630am and my shift begins. Residents breakfast time is 8am. That’s 90 minutes. By 8am, eleven of my 24 residents are expecting to be sitting in the dining room washed, dressed and ready for their meal.

    Let’s break that down. That’s 8 minutes and 18 seconds per resident! In 8 minutes, I must use a lifter to transfer each resident from their bed to the toilet, from the toilet to the shower, wash them, shave them, dry them, moisturise them, dress them, comb their hair, brush their teeth, apply hearing aids, dress their wounds, transfer them to a wheelchair, tidy their room, make their bed, empty their bin and wheel them to the dining room. 8 minutes!

    Meanwhile, in their bedrooms, the other 13 residents lay waiting for their meal. These residents cannot walk, cannot communicate, cannot feed themselves. They require spoon feeding, can only drink through a straw, and have difficulty swallowing. These residents have not yet been touched since the shift began, because the residents with the verbal and physical behaviours take priority. They have not yet been cared for, because in a ward of 24 high care residents, 4 nurses can only do so much.

    Now it’s 9am, also known as code brown o’clock. 24 residents, and you better believe they all want the toilet at once. As one nurse does the medication round, and another collects the breakfast trays, the remaining two are running, answering multiple buzzers and toileting several residents at a time. One resident is incontinent. You’ve already showered her this morning, but as you follow the trail of poo from the dining room to her bedroom, you realise she will be needing another shower, and pronto!

    It’s now 9:30am. You’re supposed to take your tea break. But you don’t. Or you do, and feel guilty as you scull your cup of cold tea and think about the 13 residents still laying in bed in last nights pad, unable to buzz for assistance.

    Back to it now. You didn’t get to use the toilet, there wasn’t time.

    It’s 9:40am. All personal care would ideally be completed by 11am, leaving just enough time to start preparing for lunch. That leaves 6 minutes and 15 seconds per resident to attend to their personal hygiene. This of course is best case scenario, but throw in a fall, a broken hip, a skin tear, a death, a vomit, an upset visitor, or an accidental poop of the pants, and the time left for each resident is shortened.

    It’s now 11am. You have not done a single note of paperwork. You’ll be in trouble for that, paperwork = funding! You try to type your way though chart after chart, but the buzzers never stop, the phone is always ringing.

    The activity hall calls to tell you your residents have finished playing bingo and are ready to be picked up.

    The hairdresser calls from the office asking you to bring residents over for their appointments. And somewhere amongst it all, the nurses are trying to fit in their lunch breaks.

    It’s 12pm now. Lunchtime. One nurse delivers yet another round of meds, one is feeding the bed-ridden residents, while the third is supervising those in the dining room. 2 residents are fighting over who got the most ice cream, another is choking on her drink because she refuses to have thickened fluids. Another is taking the chewed up food from her mouth and feeding it to a fellow resident who is asleep at the table with her mouth open.

    You still haven’t gotten to the paperwork.

    It’s 12:30pm now, and so begins the busiest hour of the shift. 24 residents all to be toileted, repositioned, checked for pressure sores, or returned to bed. An hour is not enough to get this round done, but it has to be. Two staff are going home at 1pm, and the other at 2. After that, you’re on your own.

    Now it’s 2:45pm. You should be clocking off in 15 minutes! But who are you kidding! You can’t leave until the paperwork’s done.

    Its 3:20pm. You’re in overtime. Unpaid overtime.

    As you type your notes, a resident is spilling his drink, straight down the front of his pants. You don’t see this, but his family do. They’ve arrived (yep, right now) for a visit. They do not see the spilled cup under the table, just the wet patch on his pants. They come charging in to speak to you, they use a stern and unimpressed tone. They lecture you about how it is not dignified for their father to be on display with soiled pants. You explain that you are sorry, and that it is in fact only water, but of course you will get him changed right away.

    The family did not see their father spit on you at 7am as you showered him. They didn’t see you massage dencorub gently into his sore knees to soothe the pain. They didn’t see you pick a flower to sit on his lap and cheer him up during breakfast. They didn’t see you encourage him to eat his lunch when he was reluctant to do so. They only saw this. This patch of water on his pants. And now the world is ending.

    LET ME SAY THIS LOUD FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

    The media will have you believe that aged care workers are negligent, incompetent, and lacking in skills. Yes, there’s a few stinkers in the bunch, and that is 100% not okay. But you don’t see what goes on behind closed doors, so you are forced to believe only what the media portrays.

    They don’t see us hold the hands of a man with Parkinson’s to ease his shakes just for a moment. They don’t see us sing quietly to their favourite old song as we feed them breakfast. They don’t see us cry as we comb the hair of a resident who has just passed away, trying to make them look presentable for their family. They don’t see us go home as a broken shattered human who has seen more in one day than a lot of people will see ever!

    We are working harder than you know. And feeling like your best is just not good enough, sucks!

    We are not incapable, we are pressed for time! You only hear about the negatives, but please believe the majority of us have good hearts and look after and love your family members as our own 💖

    Sincerely,

    an exhausted care worker

  • Steve Jobs Last Words-Inspirational

    Steve Jobs dies a billionaire, with a fortune of $7 billion, at the age of 56 from pancreatic cancer, and here are some of his last words… 👇👇👇

    “In other eyes, my life is the essence of success, but aside from work, I have a little joy. And in the end, wealth is just a fact of life to which I am accustomed.”

    “At this moment, lying on the bed, sick and remembering all my life, I realize that all my recognition and wealth that I have is meaningless in the face of imminent death. You can hire someone to drive a car for you, make money for you – but you can not rent someone to carry the disease for you. One can find material things, but there is one thing that can not be found when it is lost – “LIFE”. ❤️

    Treat yourself well, and cherish others. As we get older we are smarter, and we slowly realize that the watch is worth $30 or $300 – both of which show the same time. Whether we carry a purse worth $30 or $300 – the amount of money in the wallets are the same. Whether we drive a car worth $150,000, or a car worth $30,000 – the road and distance are the same, we reach the same destination. If we drink a bottle worth $300 or wine worth $10 – the “stroller” will be the same. If the house we live in is 300 square meters, or 3000 square meters – the loneliness is the same.”

    “Your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. 🌍 Whether you’re flying first class, or economy class – if the plane crashes, you crash with it.”

    So, I hope you understand that when you have friends or someone to talk to – this is true happiness! ✅

    💥 Five Undeniable Facts 💥

    1️⃣ Do not educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy. – So when they grow up they will know the

    value of things, not the price.

    2️⃣ Eat your food as medicine, otherwise you will need to eat your medicine as food.

    3️⃣ Whoever loves you will never leave you, even if he has 100 reasons to give up. He will always find one reason to hold on.

    4️⃣ There is a big difference between being human and human being.

    5️⃣ If you want to go fast – go alone! But if you want to go far – go together.

    And in conclusion… 👇

    👨‍⚕️ The six best doctors in the world 👩‍⚕️

    1️⃣ Sunlight

    2️⃣ Rest

    3️⃣ Exercise

    4️⃣ Diet

    5️⃣ Self-confidence

    6️⃣ Friends

    Keep them in all stages of life and enjoy a healthy life. 😊

    Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.

    Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends…

    Treat yourself well. Cherish others. 🎉

    “Love the people God sent you, one day He’ll need them back.”

    🙏🙏 🙏 Something worth sharing!!! 💯‼️

  • Marriage Is Ugly You See The Absolute Worst In Someone

    ‘Marriage is ugly, you see the absolute worst in someone.

     

    You see them when they’re mad, sad, being stubborn, when they’re so unlovable they make you scream. But you also get to see them when they are laughing so hard that tears run down their face, and they can’t help but let out those weird gurgling noises.

     

    You see them at 3am when the world is asleep except you two, and you’re eating in the middle of the kitchen floor. You get to see the side of them that no one else does, and it’s not always pretty. Its snorting while laughing, its the tears when it feels like its all crashing down, its the farting, its the bedhead and bad breath, its the random dances, its the anger and the joy.

     

    Marriage isn’t a beautiful thing, but it is amazing. It’s knowing that someone loves you so much, and won’t leave you even though you said something nasty. It’s having someone have your back no matter what. Its fights over stupid things, like someone not doing the dishes or picking up after themselves. And it’s those nights you fall asleep in each others arms, feeling like there will never be enough time with them.

     

    It’s cleaning up their throw up, or just rubbing their back when they’re sick. It’s the dirtiest, hardest, most rewarding job there is.

    Because at the end of the day you get to crawl into bed with your best friend, the weirdest, most annoying, loving, goofy, perfect person that you know.

     

    Marriage is not beautiful, but it’s one heaven of a ride.’ ❤️

    Instagram- Caitlinfladager

     

  • Here We Go Again With All The Twin Questions

    I took the twins to WalMart today for our weekly grocery shopping. An older woman approached me in the cereal aisle, and I instantly sighed in annoyance because I knew the “typical twin questions” were about to start pouring out of her mouth. When I go out in public, I always plan for an additional 20 minutes just for answering questions about twins, and frankly it’s become tedious.

    She neared my cart and stopped. “Here we go again” I thought. She asked all the typical things, told me how sweet they were, and continued to babble on with the boys.

    I was antsy, and just ready to go. I turned to look down the aisle hoping she would take the hint that I was ready to leave, and as I did she put her hand on top of mine that was resting on the cart. “I know you probably hate this and I’m sorry to take up so much of your time. You see, I lost my only grandchild last year, and about the only time I see kids his age is when I do my grocery shopping” she said.

    Suddenly, time didn’t matter. “Well we are about to go look at the fish, you wanna follow us over there and watch them play for a bit?” Her eyes lit up; “I would love that.” We went over and I got the boys out. She spent about 15 minutes watching them bounce around and scream out “FISHY FISHY FISHY” when finally she looked over to me and said “you don’t know what I would give to be able to hear my grandson laugh one last time.” I couldn’t find any words, so I stood in silence grieving for her.

    “May I hug your boys?” I nodded. “Thank you so much for giving me your time, I know your hands are full” she said. “No really, it was my pleasure.” She bent down to hug Darrio, my not as friendly twin, and he reached his arms out and said “LUH YOU!!” She hugged Dheigo and then hugged me, and said “I love all 3 of you too” and headed toward the check out.

    Do you know what my point is? My point is how quickly my attitude changed once I connected with her as another human being with feelings.

    That woman taking too long in the drop off line in the morning? What if her child has to go to his dads for the weekend and she wont get another hug for 3 long days.

    The man driving slow when your in a rush to work? What if hes going slow because he knows he is going to be laid off and is worried about his future.

    That annoying little kid down the road who always bangs on your door? What if he doesnt get attention at home and just wants a friend.

    It made me wonder; how much nicer would we all be if we knew one anothers struggles?

    Raise damn good humans.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/landrababy

     

  • Don’t Let Anything Stop You

    This is Jim Thorpe. Look closely at the photo, you can see that he’s wearing different socks and shoes. This wasn’t a fashion statement. It was the 1912 Olympics, and Jim, an American Indian from Oklahoma represented the U.S. in track and field.

    On the morning of his competitions, his shoes were stolen. Luckily, Jim ended up finding two shoes in a garbage can. That’s the pair that he’s wearing in the photo.

    But one of the shoes was too big, so he had to wear an extra sock. Wearing these shoes, Jim won two gold medals that day. This is a perfect reminder that you don’t have to resign to the excuses that have held you back. So what if life hasn’t been fair?

    What are you going to do about it today? Whatever you woke up with this morning; stolen shoes, ill health, failed relationships, failed business, don’t let it stop you from running your race. You can experience more in life if you’ll get over the excuses and get on with living. You can have reasons or you can have results…but you can’t have both.

  • I’m The Mum Who Sits Alone At Play Places

    I’m the mom who sits alone at play places, but doesn’t want to. But anxiety makes me that way.

    I’m the mom who won’t come up and talk to you first at our kids school, because my brain has convinced me that you don’t want to hear from me.

    I’m the mom that sits by myself while my kids play at play places, listening to other moms talk. Agreeing with what they’re saying, even wanting to join in on the conversation. But I won’t. Because my brain tells me you don’t want me to. Or what I would say, would be weird to you.

    I’m the mom who when my child asks me to talk to their friends mom at school, so they can have a play date, I will make excuses as to why I can’t.

    I’m the mom who want to go out more way more with my four year old, but my fear of him having a tantrum that I can’t control, takes over.

    I’m the mom who wants to be the PAC mom at school, who is friends with all the other moms. But I can barely muster up a “hello good morning!” to you.

    I’m the mom who wants to volunteer in my kids class for hot lunch day, for field trips, and all that fun stuff. But my mind reminds me about the room full of strangers I would have to introduce myself to.

    I’m the mom who’s trying.

    I’m the mom with anxiety.

    Follow me, the anxious momma, on instagram 🤣 https://www.facebook.com/caitlin.fladager

     

  • This Is Forty!!!

    This is 40.

    1) I cannot do the whole ‘no make up make up look’ now. I might feel like I’m a natural beauty but in reality I look like a Victorian child with influenza who probably won’t make it through a harsh Winter.

    2) Nightclubs are hard work. End of sentence.

    3) I can no longer get over a hangover by 11am using only the power of an egg butty and a mug of tea. I now need an IV drip, complete and utter silence and about 72 hours of lying on a propped up cushion like a proper dying person watching nothing more brain testing than a reality show about stupid fat arsed people being stupid and fat arsed in California.

    4) Moisturisers do not in fact stop nor even improve fine lines and wrinkles.

    5) My hips randomly click sometimes. See also; toes, wrists, knees, unpredictable sharp pains in torso for no apparent reason – leading myself to think “oh, this is how it ends then?”.

    6) Friends will cancel plans and it will no longer feel disappointing – it will feel fucking DELICIOUS. Night on the sofa with a pizza whilst watching the steely gaze of Paul Hollywood as he goes down on an eclair? Sign me up Papa John!

    7) Chin hair.

    8)It is forbidden to pass a neighbour washing their car without quipping “Want to do mine next?”. See also; “Can I fit in your suitcase?” and “It’s muggy isn’t it? Very muggy. Needs a good pour down. That’ll sort it”.

    9) What the fuck is Snapchat all about?

    10) Things that are my friend; Gaviscon, middle of the night water drinking, a great mattress, exfoliating and naps.

    Things that are not my friend; High heels, bread, sitting on the floor, Jägermeister and washing my fanny with anything even slightly scented for fear of a raging unbridled bout of thrush.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/babywipesandwine/

     

  • The Look She Gave Me When I Asked…

    Well I guess you could say there is another store I will be avoiding for awhile. Went into to grab some makeup wipes took them up to the counter to pay.

    As per my usual self I thought I’d make conversation and asked the clerk of she had ever tried them she gave me an odd look. So I continued on saying I cook in a restaurant and feel greasy throughout the day so I like to freshen up. Should of stopped talking at this point but no.

    Then I said it’s so handy to have these you can just whip them out and use them anywhere. This whole time she never said a word, so I paid told her told her to have a good day. Still no response. Got home from work last night and took them out of the bag. And that’s when I realized OMG I’m mortified. I laid in bed thinking of everything I had said to this poor woman 🤦‍♀️. So now I’m thinking should I go back and explain myself or find a new drugstore 😩

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/theresa.jamieson.92

     

  • I Wish I Had Done More To Save My Boys

    There has been a few people who have asked me exactly how our sons Thunder and Cloud died. I’m gonna explain here what happened during my pregnancy and their birth. Thunder and Cloud were due on December 3rd. At 15 weeks gestation I had a major bleed which sent us to the hospital thinking I was having miscarriage. We had a ultrasound and the babies were doing great! We were so relieved. The cause of this major bleed was a Large subchorionic hemorrhage (hematoma). We were sent home told to take it easy and so I was on modified bed rest for a few weeks.

    Our SCH covered 50% of the gestational sac and mesured 13cm X 10cm X 2cm. The awareness about SCH is not there. Lots of people told me that they were super common and that I’d be fine etc. But the hematoma is ultimately what killed my babies. 💔Over the next 6 weeks we were extremely careful taking every precaution we could. I bled the whole 6 weeks and had 2 more big bleeds and then on July 21st I had an other large bleed and lost the mucous plug and was having very light contractions.

    We went back to the misacordia hospital where they assessed me and said I was 1cm dilated with a bulging membrane. They transferred us by ambulance to the Royal Alexandra hospital where they put me on progesterone and bed rest explaining to us that if the babies were born before 23 weeks they would not do anything to try to save them. They also did not want to give me the steroids to help their lungs develop until 23 weeks.

    We just really hoped they would stay in there ! After 5 days of bed rest I went into labour. We prayed it would stop. Even after 10 hours of labour. Then once I was past 5cm dilated I knew 😭💔 my waters both broke only towards the end after 18 hours of labour right after I got the epidural. Thunder and Cloud were born on July 26th 2019. They’re we’re tiny but fully formed except for their lungs and so perfect !! They were 100% healthy babies and deserved a chance at life they had 0 concerns or complications and had been growing sooo well !

    Thunder was just a little darker and purple looking because he came out breach and bum first and he got stuck and squeezed in the birth canal through a couple contractions. Then their skin started to scab after they were born because their skin was not protected by the vernix since they were so premature. Cloud even measured a few days bigger when twins usually measure smaller then their gestation. But Because I was 10 days before their viability mark they didn’t do anything for Thunder and Cloud.

    They died while We held them on my chest from lack of oxygen because they were not able to breathe on their own. 💔😭 My precious beautiful Boys were born 4 months premature at 21.3 weeks. They were so extremely wanted loved and cherished and they will be forever. It really makes you think though how could hospitals let all these babies die just for guild lines and a difference of a few days. In lots of places around the world there are 21-22 week babies who have survived and are now healthy happy children those babies were actually given a chance. Life has been extremely hard lately with extreme postpartum depression setting in and PTSD from the trauma of everything that’s happened to us all, and missing my baby boys so much.

    I wish I could hold your little bodies and kiss your little cheeks Thunder and Cloud i wish I could have seen your eyes look up at me and heard your cry’s i wish I could have done more to save you boys mama tried soooo hard. I love you both more then words can express.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/soniia.charboneau