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Category: Our stories

  • When You Think About It We All Have A Favourite Child

    I know I shouldn’t admit it especially to a mum website with some seriously judgemental woman, but I have a favourite child. Secretly when you think of it we all do but most are too afraid to admit it in case of backlash from other parents. I know it’s wrong but I can’t help loving one more than the other.

    My son has always been trying screaming all night, fighting me for any reason, never doing as he’s told and not giving me a minutes peace. He’s been even worse since i had his sister 3 years ago now the constant demand for attention wears me out. I thought once he started school it would be easier but no, my daughter on the other hand is so placid and loving. Shes so much easier and better behaved than her brother that I can’t help favoring her.

    Is it wrong that i prefer to play with her and not her brother, even her toys are more interesting, when I walk round the shops I am drawn to the pretty outfits for my baby girl, but hate buying nice outfits for my son, he is so messy and any clothes will quickly be stained.

    I love both of my children but i can’t help loving one more than the other. I would never let anyone know how I feel and hope one day I can love them both equally but until then I’ll love my daughter more in secret. I would never see any harm come to my son and will do everything in my power to make sure he doesn’t know I favour his sister over him.

     You may think what I’ve said is bad but if you think of it are you sure you haven’t got a favourite too every parent does don’t they?

  • Bottle Fed babies are 100% More Likely To…

    Since I have now been a parent for 11 years now I think I am highly qualified to dish out some unsolicited advice across the internet, you can thank me later. A few cheeky things I have learnt since I became a mum especially a mum to 3:

    If you bottle-feed your precious baby then they are statistically 100% more likely rob a grandmother when they get older.

    If you breastfeed your baby then your child will still be breastfeeding on their wedding day. Oh and also could you put them away please, you are totally turning us all on.

    If you use a dummy your child will never speak and when they do it’ll only be to say ‘give me a dummy now’. When they’re 18.

    If you don’t use a dummy your baby is in grave danger. Just generally. Particularly of falling coconuts.

    If you leave your baby to cry, even just for a second (especially to read this blog) then your baby will be irreparably damaged and more than likely hate you forever.

    If you never let your baby cry then you are totally spoiling them and they will more than likely appear on MTV’s My Super Sweet Sixteenth demanding a unicorn.

    If your child watches more than 10 minutes of television before the age of 3 they will morph into a Mr Tumble/Peppa Pig/Piers Morgan hybrid and never stop singing jingles.

    If your child has no screen time before the age of 3 then they have 47% less chance of becoming the next internet sensation and then who do you think will pay will your mortgage?

    If you child has not eaten an avocado by the age of 2 then they will be unable to answer complex equations when being inexplicably quizzed by a stranger at a bus stop.

    If you only feed your children healthy foods then they will have zero self-restraint and will always be the one getting shit faced on party food E numbers and tequila slammers at every single 3rd birthday party.

    So there we go, a couple of things since I have learnt since becoming a mum, you are so very welcome.

    On a serious note (if you’ve got this far) the only real thing I’ve learnt as a mum is you can find any article/statistic/Facebook post/interfering neighbour to back up what you want to do for your baby and 100 more to tell you you’re wrong. As long as you’re loving your baby and listening to yourself you’re doing a great job. And if no one has told you that today – you ARE doing a great job.

    *also all information in this blog is factually incorrect. I bottle fed and my kid only robbed a grandmother once and I’m pretty sure it was a misunderstanding*

  • Adopted, Neglected, Raped and Created Mums Advice

    I want to tell you my story and why Mums advice was created xGemx

    I was born in Colchester the youngest child of 4 to an alcoholic mother (she was pissed out of her head giving birth to me lol) I lived with her and my older siblings, my mum would go out and leave us for days on end, my older sister (8) kept us going with tomato ketchup sandwiches for the older ones and sugar-water for me. One day she had been gone for 4 days and the neighbours heard me crying none stop, the police were called and I was rushed to hospital with malnutrition and pneumonia I spent a long time in Colchester hospital fighting for my life.

    I was then placed in foster care with one of my siblings.

    When I was nearly 4 me and one brother were adopted by a lovely couple and moved to a tiny village. Everything was great.

    When I was 13 I wanted some extra spending money so asked at the local Indian restaurant to do some odd jobs wiping tables, washing up etc all was fine until a few weeks later when 5 of them locked me in the store cupboard and raped me. I was 13 and they told me to come back next week or they would show my mum and friends the pictures they had taken.

    I was young and dumb and didn’t know that had I told someone it would have stopped there… It continued for 2 more yrs and I still beat myself up that I allowed it to continue.

    It affected my home life I was moody and angry I started experimenting with drugs was anorexic and was self harming, I was expelled from school, I even blamed my wonderful caring parents, had they not adopted me I wouldn’t have been raped although I never said this verbally I treated them appallingly!

    Aged 15 we moved I was free, but my demons followed me, my head was a mess I looked for comfort in drugs and love from the wrong people, eventually aged 17 I had enough and told myself I was a lesbian and sort comfort in woman. The phase didn’t last long..,.

    I got a job in a care home for the mentally ill and loved it I ended up becoming a qualified mental health nurse.

    Aged 21 I met a man I became pregnant with my son Harrison, although the relationship didn’t work out due to my insecurities etc. Becoming a mum saved me, the love I had for that child stopped my anger, lifted my self-worth.

    Aged 22 I tracked down my biological father and my lost siblings (have no interest in my mother).

    When my son was 2 I met someone new and jumped straight into a relationship even though I wasn’t ready I had 2 children by him and the relationship was loveless and abusive.

    When my middle son Elijah was 7 months old he had a cot death and after 15 minutes of resuscitation he took a huge breathe, he suffers with sleep apnea now and will stop breathing if he’s unwell or run down, he is also on the autistic spectrum and has dyspraxia but such a funny kind boy.

    Me and the little twos dad split 3 years after him cheating on me, he has walked out of his children’s life and has caused me countless problems including reporting me to the police for attacking him with a bag of wellies (if he was gonna get me arrested for something I didn’t do he could have made up a better lie lol) .

    I now am a single parent to 3 wonderful children

    I suffer from PTSD, but i am strong, I fight each day, I have a great sense of humour and love helping others.

    I look back at my past and things could be so different but I’m using my experiences to help others which in turn helps me, Mums advice means so much more to me it’s not just a page or website, it’s bringing people together and people like myself who struggle to say what happened to them out loud can write their feelings down and find people who may be able to help or understand.

  • I Hated My Step Son Until I Had My Own Child

    I hated my step son, I mean I fed him and bathed him and never saw he come to any harm but he annoyed me so much I dreaded him coming over, I just found him so irritating and wished he never visited.

    Marcus was only four years old when I met him and I was a 21-year-old woman who had no interest in children, never wanting to hold babies or cooed over them, I didn’t dislike kids they just didn’t appeal to me.

    I loved my boyfriend and thought having a step child wouldn’t be too much of an inconvenience, I mean how hard could a 4-year-old be?.

    BUT…

    Why when I’ve spent 2 hours cooking a delicious roast didn’t he eat it, why when we’ve taken him to the zoo and bought him an ice cream is he still moaning, why doesn’t he listen? why does he whine all the time, this kid is never satisfied always wanting more and more.

    Christmas Eve he had loads of presents but wasn’t interested in anything other than one cheap car.

    I was constantly nagging my partner about his son, why was he such a brat?

    Oh how much guilt I feel now! I had my first child and felt love I had never known before, Sophie changed my views, she cried, she moaned she had normal tantrums, I saw my step son in another light.

    He wasn’t a brat, he wasn’t ungrateful he was a little boy and he was behaving like every child out there, I was the brat, I was the one who had no clue on children.

    I recall sitting on my bed sobbing thinking what a huge bitch I had been, the next weekend when my step son come over I was gentle, I was kind and felt love for this innocent boy.

    Having my own child made me a far better step mum, I love both Marcus and Sophie and regret the way I was they are both nearly adults now and I am proud to be a huge part of Marcus’s life, I want other woman out there who are put into ready-made families to step back and look at themselves, spend time with the child and build a bond, love may not come over night nor will understanding but give it time and hopefully it will come.

  • I Pay My Rent In A Way That Leaves Me Sobbing

    I am a lone parent to three beautiful children, Jenny, Angel and Johnny, their father left me 10 months ago for a woman he met at the gym, he walked away and hasn’t seen, spoken or financially supported his children.

    We were living in a rented house and I was granted income support and housing benefits plus disability payments for my Jenny who has autism and ADHD, but the housing payments didn’t cover all the rent, the only advice the housing officer gave me was to find somewhere cheaper to live.

    Each month I was £75 short to cover the rent, no matter how much I budgeted or cut back I could never get all th money together, my landlord Richard come over and threatened me with eviction, where would we go if we lost the house? Jenny had only just gotten into a very good special needs school, she was settled and happier than I had ever seen her.

    All my children were still struggling with their father leaving them let alone having to move out of the only home they had ever known, possibly having to change schools and make new friends, I couldn’t do that to them.

    How would I be able to afford to move, I would never be able to get a deposit together, there are very few council properties available let alone one to fit me and 3 children in, changes are we would have been placed into a hostel or bed and breakfast, not somewhere I would want to raise 3 small children.

    I had no choice but to offer my body to my over weight middle-aged stinking landlord, he obviously accepted, every week on a Friday lunchtime he knocks on my door and I service his needs, I feel sick to my stomach every time I see him, I cry for ages after he has gone.

    A mother will do anything for her children and this is what I have to do, if there was another way to stay I would do it, but at the moment I am stuck, I am used, I am trying to be the best mother I can be.

  • We’re Going On A School Run We’ve Gotta Do A Big Run

    We’re going on a school run

    We’ve gotta do a big run

    We’re not late

    Uh-uh. A poo

    We can’t not change it,

    He couldn’t wait

    Oh no where’s the wipes

    Wipe rush wipe rush wipe

    We’re going on a school run

    We’ve got to do a big run

    We’re not late

    Uh-uh

    Child’s lost a shoe

    We can’t go without it

    We can’t be late

    Oh no we’ve found it

    Push pull push pull

    We’re going on a school run

    We’ve got to do a big run

    We’re not late

    Uh-uh!

    Another mum

    We can’t avoid her

    We can’t ignore her

    Oh no!

    We’ve got to talk to her

    Smile and nod smile and nod

    We’re going on a school run

    We’ve gotta do a big run

    We’re not late

    Child forgot a book bag

    Child forgot her lunch

    We’re going on a school run

    We’ve gotta do a big run

    WE ARE LATE

  • Alder Hey Strikes Again Poor Little Kyrah

    Little Kyrah is currently at Alder hey hospital the same as the now famous Alfie Evans who is currently fighting for every breath and proving the doctors and courts wrong.

    Kyrah’s mum is also fighting her own battle a battle to save her daughter’s life and to have a diagnoses.

    Kyrah’s mum posted on her childs support page saying

    “Nearly 5 years old and still alder hey TRUST have no plan,

    Kyrah has a chronic disease a terminal illness and still no care plan while alder hey trust were busy trying to make me look bad I built my own case on them and now its all falling perfectly in to place they used my daughter’s life to blackmail me while I give them every opportunity possible to work with us they did not want to do that they had their own plan.

    I had so much respect for them before they tried everything to tear us apart now I wonder how these people even sleep at night knowing what there doing is wrong on so many levels

    #IWONTBESHUSHED #IWontBeStopped #TheTruthWillAlwaysFindAwayOut

    Alfie Evans case has put the care and treatment at Alder hey hospital into the lime light, many people are now questioning whether or not the hospital is trying to cover up poor treatment, medical negligence or simply don’t care, we wouod like to hear your views in the comment section.

    To follow Kyrah’s journey and fight for the right to live, please take a look at her support page    https://www.facebook.com/KeepFightingBabyKyrah/

    If you have had a bad or even good experience at Alder hey we would love to hear from you, or if you have a story or want to raise awareness of a different topic please send us an email to mumsadviceltd@outlook.com

  • 1 In 8 Couples Are Infertile-Don’t Tell Them What To Do

    Think about this: 1 in 8 couples are infertile. Chances are, you know someone who is secretly dealing with infertility, it could be a close friend, relative or neighbour.

    Think about the simple task of going to the supermarket and walking down the baby aisle and the many emotions this are triggered.

    Think about their pain when asked to attend a friend’s baby shower, or scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and seeing so many new mums cradling their precious new-born, or seeing baby scans posted.

    Think about the complete devastation of finally getting pregnant and then losing the baby they always prayed for, and then the ignorance of people’s comments “oh you can try again you are only young” many woman who have a miscarriage are met with insensitive but well-meaning comments .

    Think about your own children and how much you love them. Think about those women and men who never get a chance to experience the love they long for, who try to adopt but are often unable to or spend their lives savings trying to conceive.

    We do not expect mums not to post photos of their scans or new-born baby photos, we do not want supermarkets to hide the baby stuff, this is something that cannot really be avoided, what we can ask that if someone loses a baby no matter the gestation to listen and care and not make the insensitive comments, a lose is a lose no matter how far gone they are, do not give a couple who are infertile tips on how you got pregnant, trust me they have tried everything, only give your opinion if you are asked for it.

    1 in 8 are infertile these statistics are so high so chances are you may be faced with one of these conversations, be kind, be compassionate and put yourself in their shoes.

  • How Would You Feel If I Left Dog Poo In The Park?

    Dear parents

    How would you feel if I left dog poo in the park?

    Disgusted? Worried your child might put their hand in it? Concerned it could make them ill?

    That is exactly how I feel about your child’s chocolate chip cookie on the roundabout, or the dripping ice cream sticks by the swings. Instead of dog poo, I found discarded chocolate smeared all across the grass.

    You see, my two-year daughter has a severe milk allergy.

    When she ran ahead to get on the roundabout, I was only a few seconds behind her but by the time I got there, she had already poked her finger in the melting cookie.

    ‘Can I have this Mummy?’ she asked innocently.

    Next time you visit the park, please take your litter and unwanted food with you. Let my daughter play safely without the dangers you have left behind.

    It might be ‘only a cookie’ to you but it’s poison to my baby.

    Thankyou

    Emma

    full credit https://www.facebook.com/freefromfarmhouse/

    Cow’s Milk Allergy is one of the most common food allergies to affect babies and young children in the United Kingdom, between 2 and 3 percent of children younger than 3 are allergic to milk and many do not out grow of it and will be allergic to milk all their lives.

    Milk Allergy Symptoms

    • Hives

    • Stomach upset

    • Vomiting

    • Bloody stools, especially in infants

    • Anaphylaxis, a rare, potentially life-threatening reaction that impairs breathing and can send the body into shock.

    Cow’s milk allergy is managed by completely eliminating cow’s milk protein from a baby or childs diet, as even a small amount of cow’s milk protein could potentially trigger an allergic reaction so even a seemingly harmless discarded biscuit at a park can cause problems and pains for a child.

    It doesn’t take two minutes to clear up after yourself or your child and make parks a happy and a safe place to play for all.

  • How Do I Get Over A Friend Having An Abortion

    Has anyone had to cope with their very close friend/family getting an abortion? I am trying to get over/passed it before it happens so we can move on with our friendship, but it is wearing so heavily on my heart I can’t bear it any longer and I’m not sure I will ever be able to look at her the same again.

    She is my Fiancé’s cousin, but they were raised as siblings.. she has offered to carry a baby for us NUMEROUS times and I’ve always been able to vent to her about my struggles with infertility.

    She isn’t always the most responsible person on earth and she called me a week ago saying she thought she was pregnant and the guy she had been sleeping with is just a friend he doesn’t want anymore children.

    Now please don’t think of me the wrong way, I’m IN NO WAY saying she should give the baby to us. (Not that we would decline that offer but regardless) I just didn’t expect her to choose anything other than life for this baby. She has always been on the same page as me when it came to being Pro-Life.. and now that it’s happened to her she’s turned a 360. She has an appointment scheduled for friday to terminate.

    I’m just looking for some advice, do I say something, ignore and move on after all it is her body her choice, but I am finding it so hard to understand and accept, we would give anything to have a new life to call our own, yet she has been given the gift of a baby and she plans to destroy this.

    Am I just being jealous and bitter? Would I feel differently had I already had a baby of my own, what would you do?