Tag: rape

  • Shocking And Sad Reason Bride Doesn’t Show Up For Her Own Wedding 

    When Terry Apudo didn’t show up to church for her own wedding, her family and friends immediately knew something was very wrong.

    But the real reason for Terry’s absence on such a special day was more terrible than the guests could have ever imagined.


    Terry Apudo, was a young female pastor, working in a small church in Nairobi, Kenya.

    Her wedding with fiancé Harry Olwande, had been in the works for a long time and the couple were in the middle of preparations for the big day.

    As tradition goes, the bride and groom spent the night before the wedding apart.

    The next morning, as Terry left her house and walked down the road, she noticed a man sitting on the hood of his car.

    She walked past him, but minutes later, the man rushed to her and jumped her from behind.

    The man violently grabbed Terry and threw her into the backseat of his car, where two other male accomplices were sitting and waiting for her.

    The young pastor was kidnapped on what was to be her wedding day.

    “A piece of cloth was stuffed in my mouth. I was kicking and hitting out and trying to scream,” Terry said “When I managed to push the gag out, I screamed, ‘It’s my wedding day!’ That was when I got the first blow. One of the men told me to ‘co-operate or you will die.’”

    The nightmare didn’t end there — the horror continued inside the car. Terry continued to tell her story:

    “The men took turns to rape me. I felt sure I was going to die, but I was still fighting for my life, so when one of the men took the gag out of my mouth I bit his manhood. He screamed in pain and one of them stabbed me in the stomach. Then they opened the door and threw me out of the moving car.

    I was miles from home, outside Nairobi. More than six hours had passed since I had been abducted.

    A child saw me being thrown out and called her grandmother. People came running. When the police came they tried to get a pulse, but no one could. Thinking I was dead, they wrapped me in a blanket and started to take me to the mortuary. But on the way there, I choked on the blanket and coughed. The policeman said, ‘She’s alive?’ And he turned the car around and drove me to the biggest government hospital in Kenya.

    I arrived in great shock, murmuring incoherently. I was half-naked and covered in blood, and my face was swollen from being punched. But something must have alerted the matron, because she guessed I was a bride. ‘Let’s go around the churches to see if they’re missing a bride,’ she told the nurses.”


    “By coincidence, the first church they called at was All Saints Cathedral,” Terry went on to say. “‘Are you missing a bride?” the nurse asked. The minister said, ‘Yes, there was a wedding at 10 o’clock and she didn’t come.’”

    When the wedding guests found out the real reason for Terry’s disappearance, people started screaming and crying inside the church.

    Terry’s family and her fiancé, Harry, rushed to the hospital immediately. Eventually, Terry was moved to another hospital, where the full degree of her physical injuries had become painfully apparent.

    “That was where the doctors stitched me up and gave me some devastating news,” Terry says.

    The doctors told Terry that the stab wounds were so deep that she wouldn’t be able to have children.

    “I was given the morning-after pill, as well as antiretroviral drugs to protect me from HIV and AIDs. My mind shut down. It refused to accept what had happened.

    A few days later, when I was less sedated, I was able to look him [Harry] in the eye. I kept saying sorry. I felt like I had let him down. Some people said it was my own fault for leaving the house in the morning. It was really hurtful, but my family and Harry supported me.”


    Despite everything, Harry still wanted to marry Terry — the love of his life.

    The ceremony took place in July 2005, seven months after their first planned wedding.

    At last they stood at the altar together and were able to celebrate and display their love for one another.

    Everything seemed to be taking a turn for the better, but destiny sometimes works in mysterious ways.

    Only 29 days after they finally got married, another catastrophe occurred.

    During a very cold night, Harry decided to warm the house with the couple’s little charcoal stove, which was usually used outdoors for cooking.

    Unfortunately, the couple fell asleep when the heat started spreading in the room. When Terry woke up a short while later, she realized something was not right.

    She was dizzy and couldn’t get out of bed. With the little strength she had left, she managed to reach the phone next to her bed to call the neighbors for help.

    Right after that phone call — she lost consciousness.

    Terry was able to be rescued in the very last moment, but sadly, it was too late for Harry. He died of carbon monoxide poisoning.


    Terry went into a state of depression so bad that she shut herself off from the outside world.

    The only visitor she would receive was a pastor named Tonny Gobanga. He regularly visited Terry at her home, so she could talk to him about the pain that had gotten stuck deep in her soul.

    Tonny’s warmth and compassion gave Terry new life and helped to slowly mend her broken heart.

    Eventually, with time, the two fell in love.


    “Tonny proposed marriage but I told him to buy a magazine, read my story and tell me if he still loved me. He came back and said he still wanted to marry me.

    But I said, ‘Listen, there’s another thing — I can’t have children, so I cannot get married to you.’

    ‘Children are a gift from God,’ he said. ‘If we get them, Amen. If not, I will have more time to love you.’”


    Three years after her marriage with Harry, Terry once again walked down the aisle, this time with Tonny, who had given her the will to live again.

    Sadly, her life looked like it was taking another dark turn — one year after her second wedding, Terry felt very sick.

    “I felt unwell and went to the doctor,” she says. “And to my great surprise, he told me that I was pregnant.”

    Terry’s pregnancy went smoothly. Contrary to the doctors’ words, Terry seemed to be completely capable of giving birth without any complications.

    The joy that Terry and Tonny felt holding their newborn daughter Tehille in their arm was indescribable.

    Four years later, the pair welcomed their second miracle — their other daughter Towdah.


    The men who tortured and raped Terry were never arrested and brought to justice.

    Terry’s full story is documented in her autobiography “Crawling Out of Darkness.”

    Today Terry travels with her husband Tonny and gives talks. She speaks about the horrific things she has been through and how she got the strength to pull herself out of the darkness and look at the positive things in life.

    She also helps other rape victims and hopes her experiences can inspire them to know that they are not alone.

    Please share this on Facebook to give others hope .

  • Women Discovers She Has Been Raped Whilst She Slept… By Her HUSBAND!

    A man in his 30s from Newcastle has been jailed for 9 years for raping his wife whilst she slept.

    The couple had known each other for over 10 years and he was fully aware that his wife was an extremely deep sleeper if she’d had a drink.

    The victim only discovered the husbands horrible crimes against her when she looked at videos on his phone and saw herself being raped.

    The court heard the videos varied in length from 30 seconds to two minutes and each showed a different occasion of the man raping or abusing his sleeping wife.  All videos have now been destroyed.

    Newcastle Crown Court

    The man pleaded guilty at Newcastle Crown Court to three counts of rape, one of assault by penetration, one of attempted rape and one of sexual assault and has been sentenced to 9 years in prison.

    In a statement, the traumatised victim said her life had been left in tatters as she struggled to come to terms with what her husband had done.

    She said: “In March 2017, I discovered my husband had been sexually abusing me.  Since that day, my life and that of our children has been completely turned upside down in ways I still cannot come to terms with.”

  • If I Can Make It Anyone Can

    This story is aimed at everyone who is a survivor.

    Growing up for the first 10 years of my life I was a normal kid, mum and dad was together we went on holidays every year, my life was good.

    Then they broke up, everything went in a downward spiral. My dad moved over 2 hours away and didn’t bother with us, my mum got in a relationship with someone who was to end up beating the shit out of her in front of me and my siblings. It was a fucking hard time.

    The first time I attempted suicide I was 13. My mum refused to believe I had done it until the blood results came back, my dad showed up trying to play the perfect parent he hadn’t seen me in 8 months.

    My mum ended up a drug addict so did the man she married (yes despite what he did to her she married him) only good thing that came out of their relationship was my brother who was born a year into their marriage.

    This went on until I was about 14/15 then she finally got rid of him, so I might not have to see her getting beat up every other day but I still had to live with the consequences of his actions.

    A mother who was addicted to drugs and 3 younger siblings that I pretty much had to take care off. This went on until I was 16. My school work was non existent. I was at one time a good student who was told I had university potential but that all went when you have 3 younger children to get up and ready for school.

    When I was 16 she met my step dad. He is an amazing man! He got her clean (yes I still question why she did it for him and not me) but he did it and I was free to resume my life but I was damaged by what I had been through. I spent the next 5 years drinking ,experimenting with drugs mainly cocaine I never touched hard drugs such as crack, heroin ect and sleeping with unsuitable people just to feel wanted.

    When I was 21 the incident happened that would change me forever. I was out with 2 people I considered friends. We was in a lively bar but I had decided not to drink the rest of the night after that is still a blur but it resulted in my drink getting spiked and me getting raped. I came around half way through the incident and managed to get away. I ran out the flat but had no idea where I was. I phoned the police thinking they would be able to trace the call and find out where I was. They did just that and took me to a centre within my area that dealt with that crime.

    It was the most humiliating experience of my life. I had to have my body examined, every inch of it. I had to give up my clothes and wear what they had. I had most parts of my body photographed so they could document the bruises ect. Whilst I was there they went into the flat and arrested the person who had done this.

    After that they called my mum and step dad who came to collect me. All I wanted was to sit in the shower and scrub. The same evening after I had to go to the police station and give my video statement. I refused to have my mum or step dad in there. I had lived through it there was no need for them to hear the details. For the first weeks I had the attitude that it wasnt going to break me, that I was going to be fine. I was wrong. I couldn’t deal with all the feelings it caused, I suffered nightmares and couldn’t sleep, I turned back to drink and drugs I was out of control. Despite many trips to the doctors nothing was helping. I was given sleeping tablets (which I became addicted to and was the worst thing to ever come off) but even with them my step dad still had to sit next to my bed every night and wait for me to fall asleep.

    During this time the man who did it was on bail. He was re bailed 3 times until I got that phone call that said he wasnt going to be charged. 2 officers attended my house the next day. They explained that although my alcohol levels made me fine to drive and they did find ketamin (which is a tranquilizer) in my system all his mates had my statements saying I was fine and wanted it and the real kicker was my so called best mate (turned out she already knew him) had made a statement saying I already had the bruises and marks he had made.

    This sent me off the rails. I ended up to the point where I required to be sectioned. I was diagnosed with PTSD, BPD, Manic depression and severe anxiety. They finally found tablets that kept me stable.

    A few month later I got talking to an old friend. We went on a few dates and eventually became a couple. I was still struggling and still drinking. Then I found out I was pregnant. I still to this day say my firstborn saved my life. We moved into an extremely nice flat. I wasnt working but he was earning very good money and assured me he would take care of the bills. A few months after he changed. Was drinking loads, gambling, stopped going to work and was aggressive. I found the strength to kick him out.

    A few days after I was opening post and found a court repossession order for our flat, he hadn’t been paying the rent. I went to the council who advised me to stay until bailiffs came then they would help. I ended up in a house share with a load of scum bags and wrongerns. We spent a year there, the communal areas such as kitchen, bathroom ect were left in such a state that I used to have to spend half hour cleaning before I could use them.

    The council decided they wouldn’t help due to me being evicted due to rent arrears. Even tho they was informed by estate agents they had never dealt with me and I was unaware of the arrears.

    During 1 rare night out where my mum had my daughter (her father hadn’t bothered seeing or paying for her since we split) I bumped into someone I knew from when I worked in a pub. The connection was instant. I tried ignoring him as I wasnt looking or ready for someone else but I couldn’t help it he was amazing. We started to see each other and it just got better and better. He was amazing with my daughter aswell. I fell pregnant again and we all moved into our own home. It wasnt much but it was ours. Now a few months on I couldn’t be happier I have a partner who worships me and 2 beautiful girls.

    I know this was a long post and I have actually made it shorter but to anyone who is going through a really bad time do not give up. If I can make it trust me anyone can x

  • No More Light

    NO MORE LIGHT 


    The males story is one that’s seldom ever told. 

    Only when a big case breaks the news do people hear and even then its one they don’t want to see. 

    As hard as it is to say, to put into words I SPEAK ONLY FOR MYSELF. 

    It was like hitting a brick wall. Confused I tried to shut down. I was only 9 and unequipped or prepared for such a thing. Quickly I was living in the moment and outside of myself and there was no longer reality. There were no tomorrows and yesterdays were spent. 

    There was always a pain deep, deep down in my heart. In my soul. Fear and paranoia ruled my would. Frantic to escape with no hope of getting away. If only I could find a way. But I could not see in the darkness. 

    And the light, the light never returned. 

    Please if you were a child victim or a male whom has been raped, speak out, get help, you are not to blame, the shame is not on you.

  • I Help And Support My Childs Abuser 

    I want to share my story, the story of how i knowingly let my sons abuser move in every weekend.This is how I lost the support of my family but I feel I did the right thing.
    My son was 2, a happy, mischievous blonde haired lad, a boy who never failed to make me smile.

    He was always happy, until September 3 years ago.

    He became quiet and timid and was struggling to use the toilet, his bottom bled, I put it down to him straining too hard.

    After a day of spotting I took him to the Doctor, my son screamed and screamed when the doctor tried to take down his trousers.
    Once we had managed to take down his trousers and pants and the Doctor examined him, he discovered he had a large anal tear, we rushed to hospital.
    At the hospital he was again examined but had to be sedated as he became so distressed, the police and social services arrived.
    I was taken to the family room and spoken to, they said they think my son had been abused.
    They asked for a list of people who had recently been in contact with my son.
    As a lone parent and my son not at nursery yet the list was short. My father, my sister, my brother in law and my 11 year old nephew.
    When the police spoke to them all my nephew confessed to raping my son.
    Eventually he was sentenced to 6 months in a juvenile detention centre. 

    I went to visit him and spoke to him at length, his mum and dad had disowned him.

    He apologised and he told me he didn’t know it was wrong.
    How could he not know?

    Surely my sons cries would make him stop?

    The blood running down my sons legs?

    I questioned him, he confessed that his father (my brother in law) did it to him all the time, ever since he can remember and he always cried and called out, he bled, he thought it was normal.

    My poor nephew had been abused all his life…

    I helped him report it, but no charges were ever made as who would believe the word of a child rapist with no evidence.
    I decided I would would help him when he came out, after all my son and my nephew were both victims here.
    My son luckily had no memory of the incident and was back to his normal happy self.
    Social services and the courts were obviously reluctant to release him into my care, but agreed he could stay at weekends away from his new foster carers if I put special measures in place.
    My nephew has the loft room, which I have to lock of a night, my son and nephew are never aloud alone together and social services visit once a month.
    He’s been staying with us a year now and both my son and nephew are healing, my family have walked away from us, they do not support us.

    They do not see a broken boy who just needs guidance and love they see a rapist and a fool and a victim. 

  • What If He Tries To Rape Me Again?

    I think my relationship may be about to get abusive … it started when I stupidly did not discourage a male from being sexual with me over social media

    It was wrong of me and I know that.

    I stupidly allowed my PND and low self esteem to take the better of me in that situation

    My thought was

    “You’re fat and ugly, your partner thinks the same too”

    So when another male showed sexual interest I allowed it

    While I did encourage him, I didn’t discourage him either

    And that was wrong
    My partner found out..

    My partner

    My lover

    My saviour

    My BEST FRIEND
    He’s hurt. Of course he’s hurt and I have nobody to blame for that but me

    How could I ever hurt him like I have ?!

    How could I ever have been so fucking stupid???
    We spoke and I thought things were somewhat sorted between us

    I knew the trust would be hard to rebuild

    I know because he’s shattered my trust before

    More than once

    But that isn’t the point.
    He wanted to have sex in the utility room, I said no

    He pushed and pushed and forced his penis inside of me

    Without consent
    Is this rape?

    God knows I deserve it
    I got out of that situation unharmed, I went outside to avoid him for a while

    Came back, and he acted as though nothing had happened
    Cue bed that night, he again tried to initiate sex

    I complied, it’s the least I can do after betraying his trust

    The sex was rough, I didn’t enjoy it. But I allowed it to continue regardless

    Half hour after he finished he wanted to go again, again I complied
    It was this time when he strangled me, I couldn’t breathe.

    I justified it in my head “he’s upset, he wants to hurt me without actually hurting me”

     

    I mentioned it the day after

    He “didn’t realise he had done it”

    Ok, not to worry
    We spent the day together and had a good laugh,

    I hadn’t laughed like that in such a long time

    We had such a good day together as a family
    Again, back in bed that night he brought up my infidelity

    We spoke, I asked if he wanted to hit me, I felt like I deserved it.

    He was horrified I even suggested such a thing

    “Id never hit a woman, EVER”

    I apologised

    He again initiated sex

    He wanted anal, I refused

    That didn’t stop him

    He forced himself in me once again

    And despite my screams and crying he continued

    I tried to get away, he held me in place while he continued to force sex
    I again, thankfully managed to get away

    I ran, I was so distraught, I ran to the bathroom

    But there is no lock

    So, naked, scared and still crying I ran to my car

    I drove away

    I had nowhere to go. I’d left my phone so couldn’t ring anyone for help

    And stupidly, all I wanted was my partner. The man who was my everything
    But also the man who he caused me to be in this situation
    I returned home, he was looking for me

    “Are you ok?”

    NO, no I am not

    “You wanted me to hurt you”

    Not like that …

    he didn’t understand my point of view
    I returned to bed and put some clothes on

    What if he tries to rape me again?

    What if this is the start of an abusive relationship?

    Is this what I deserve?
    He acted like nothing happened. And went away to work in the morning

    Will tonight be better? Only time will tell?

    I know everyone will read this and think

    “Why stay?! Take your children and leave!”

    But I can’t, it isn’t who he is.

    He’s an amazing man, and my entire world

    Thankfully I can recognise that what has happened the last two nights is wrong

    If it continues, I’m gone.

    But for now. I’m hoping he will be the man I love

    The caring, affectionate man
    I’m hoping this is his way of getting his frustration out for what I’ve done to him

    I’m hoping this is the end