Tag: parent
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20 Things I Learnt As A Parent
I’m sure all of us can relate to most or all of these
20 THINGS I LEARNT AS A PARENT!
1. People who say you should ‘enjoy every single moment of parenthood’ are at best, unrealistic and at worst, morons.
2. It’s easy to get to midday and realise you’ve not stopped since 6am but have achieved a grand total of fuck all.
3. I don’t care how strong you think you are, nobody is stronger than a baby that doesn’t want to get dressed.
4. It’s impossible to tidy the house. You can move things around and put them in different rooms but the house will remain a shithole.
5. And there’s more chance of visiting Narnia than seeing the bottom of your laundry basket.
6. People without kids who say they’re exhausted can kiss my tired, fat arse.
7. In fact some days your energy levels resemble those of a diabetic sloth that’s cutting out caffeine for Lent.
8. I told my childless friend I’d had an ‘amazing lie in till 7.30am’ and he pissed himself laughing. I was deadly serious.
9. I now time my morning routine by CBeebies theme tunes. If I’m not running the shower by the time Octonauts is starting, I’m fucked.
10. Phase 2 of parenthood is when an episode of a kids show comes on and you think, “Ah fuckin hell, I’ve seen this one.”
11. And whoever let Postman Pat fly a frigging plane this week should be shot in the face.
12. I love my kids more than anything in the world.
13. But I’d love them even more if they’d nap properly.
14. Getting your baby to nap is like a game of Snakes and Ladders. One wrong move and you’re back to the beginning.
15. When remarking “they’ve gone down well tonight” it’s best to check you’ve turned the baby monitor on first.
16. Often you’ll panic that there’s something seriously wrong with your baby but then realise they’re just having a massive shite.
17. Some nappy changes are like Brexit – tonnes of build up, nobody really knows what’s going on and a horrible mess to clean up afterwards.
18. Paying £40 a day for nursery when your kid is too ill to go because of a bug they caught at nursery smarts like a kick in the knackers.
19. Parenthood is a crafty bastard – the second you master something it changes the game so you’re shit at it again.
20. When your child laughs the world makes sense.
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A Day In The Life Of A Lazy Father
Dear Diary,
Last night was difficult – the baby woke up crying for a bottle and briefly woke me up too.
I woke my partner and then pretended to be asleep, so she’d have to deal with her. I fell back to sleep within seconds, but I’m so knackered.I’m sure she’s fine, she’s used to having no sleep.
This morning, I jumped out of bed, made myself some breakfast, I enjoyed a nice, hot coffee before having a relaxing poo, followed by jumping in to a hot shower on my own.
I didn’t make her anything for breakfast, though – she’s used to doing everything on her own; she doesn’t need my help.
I put my clean boxers and socks on, my freshly ironed work clothes and it was only 07:40 – I leave at 08:00.
So, with all this spare time I had before leaving for work, I sat scrolling through my phone and watched her feed the baby whilst listening to her complain that she misses having a hot drink and something to eat without stopping every five minutes.Probably hormones. She’s always moody.
Well, with 20 minutes spare and nothing to do, I left early for work so I didn’t get stuck in shitty traffic; she had loads of housework to do anyway, better not get in the way of that.
I would help do a little bit, but I’d rather listen to the radio and have some quiet time before work.Work is so stressful.
Five days out of seven, I have to spend time with adults and socialise a bit. I get two fifteen minute tea breaks and an hour’s lunch – completely alone.
On the plus side, I get a career and I know I’ll always be financially stable, so that’s a perk I guess.
My lunch was actually quite enjoyable – she packed my favourite snacks and made me a sandwich with my favourite filling!
With an hour spare, I had plenty of time to reflect on my thoughts and actually, plan a night out with the lads.I deserve it, I think. I only get two whole days and every evening to myself a week.
She won’t have plans anyway, she has a baby to look after.
Actually, I had a message from her on my break to tell me what was for dinner when I got home, that our baby had rolled over for the first time, that she loves me so much and and can’t wait for me to come home and spend the weekend with them as a family.She’s so needy, I only left a few hours ago.
I don’t think she’ll be happy when I tell her I’m going out with the lads at the weekend, but it’s tough. I earn the wage and put a roof over her head, I’m allowed.
She has no friends anyway, they seem to have ditched her since having our baby.
I drove home from work after a tough day typing emails and speaking to clients, I could smell dinner as I pulled up, but was shocked to see her when I walked through the door.
She was still in the same clothes as she was this morning, she’d had no wash, there was more washing piled up and now she’s asking me to take the baby aswell.I told her that I couldn’t and I wanted to sort myself out after work.
God, can I just have a minute to myself, please?
I took another hot shower and put my clean clothes on, sat down and complained at how hard my day’s been.
I’m allowed to complain, right? She doesn’t work, so she doesn’t know how it feels.
Out of nowhere, she burst in to tears and asked why I didn’t reply to her message at lunchtime; she asked if I still loved her and why I don’t help her out with our baby.
I ignored her, had my dinner and decided to nip out for a drive to get some space, I needed to vent to somebody.
Plus, the baby started crying again and needed rocking to sleep – I thought I had better leave her to it.
I came back a bit later and the baby was asleep.Peace and quiet, finally.
She was in a bad mood when I got in, so I just went straight to bed – I have work tomorrow and I need a decent night’s sleep.
Having a baby is hard work.
Goodnight. -
YES I Will Judge Your Parenting
Yes I will judge your parenting and no i am not by any means a perfect parent everyone makes mistakes, I wont judge you if you look a mess, your hairs not brushed or your child is crying or having a temper tantrum these are all normal parts of parenting.
I however will judge you if i see you giving your baby coca cola in a bottle, adding rice or cereal into their bottle to help them sleep more, come on choking risk or an extra hour in bed, I know which one I would prefer.
You wearing name brand clothes, warm winter coats,gloves, scarf and a pair of uggs whilst your child is sat in a dirty pram with no socks or shoes on, dirty stained top and no coat, heck yes I will judge away, ill stand up and say something.
Putting your seat belt on in the car for your own safety whilst your tiny baby is forward facing or sat on someones lap, I will educate you on safe car seat laws.
If you go on holiday abroad 2 or 3 times a year with your friends or partner whilst your kids are lucky to get a weekend in a caravan I will judge you and ignore your lame excuses.
If you refuse vaccinations for your child you my dear are a moron, vaccinations were made to protect children and adults from deadly diseases, someone please explain to me why the government would make something (for free in the UK) to harm children.
Judging other parents is totally and utterly acceptable if the parents are idiots, don’t wean your baby at 3 months, don’t risk their lives, dont put them in harm’s way and dont put yourself before them, I would hope someone would have the courage to tell me if I am doing something that places my child at risk.
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Be Kind To The New Mum In Your Playgroup
When you see a new mum come into your playgroup, and she stands away from everyone because she’s new. Talk to her. Talk to her the next three times you see her, because for her, she’s come into a new environment where everyone has their own click, and she’s overwhelmed… but she’s come there to make friends because she wants to connect with other mums. She spent the morning rushing to get there, trying to look like she’s got it together and that she’s not petrified. Talk to her. Sure, she might not live in your area, go to your social events, be the same nationality whatever, but that’s the beauty of getting to know someone new.
If that mother at mothers group keeps cancelling on you but always reschedules, keep trying, keep trying at least three more times and tell her it’ll be okay to catch up. She might be riddled with anxiety and not coping, your persistence could save her sanity and make her feel loved.
If a mum smiles at you at the park, smile back. Talk to her, make a friend, she doesn’t have to baptise your child but now you both have someone to go to the park with. You both don’t have to feel alone on days its relentless. You both can help each other watch your kids together and it’ll feel so much easier.
If your mum friend hasn’t been herself lately, and doesn’t want to do anything, go to her house, bring her some coffee and wine and chocolate, xanax, whatever, and tell her she’s got this, tell her she’s not alone. That not matter what motherhood throws at her, that you’ll do it together. Go do her dishes and insist, INSIST she eats pizza with you while the kids destroy the house and give her a big hug.
All these mums might have woken up today saying I can’t do this, I have no one and I’m a failure, they might have been up all night with a restless baby, a teething toddler or whatever. They might think they are the worst mum in the world, but on a day where someone has given them some warmth, someone has given them a little encouragement and a little love, it’ll make them feel like a million bucks.
I’ve been all of these mums in all of these occasions and some days I needed to be rescued, some days I pushed back hard, some days I hated that I felt I was the only one who wasn’t coping and all I needed was someone to reach out, and when they did, I felt like a million bucks.
Motherhood is hard, its beautiful and rewarding, its many things, but it’s hard and heartbreaking sometimes. It’s not always a network of people helping us out, some days we are all have. Sometimes all the days we are all we have, no village, no family, no one. So make a friend, keep that play date, make those plans and keep them, introduce new mums to your friends too.
We don’t have to compete we just have to love and tell that mother who deserves to hear it, that she’s not invisible, that’s she’s not alone, and that she is doing a wonderful job and we have her back!
Full credit to the amazing Laura Mazza-Mum on the run, check out her Facebook page https://facebook.com/themumontherun/
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You Made Your Own Worst Critics And They Call You Mum
I don’t remember my “what to expect when expecting book” mentioning that when you become a parent your every move is judged by your worst critics, and you made them!!!
I always thought I was a pretty, cool and a fit mum, ok yes I admit it I have a bit of flab but haven’t we all, as my children have got older I seem to be wearing less make up, and my clothes are no longer the latest fashion, but I am by no means an old bag lady.
Three year old son “mummy your tummy is like jelly haha” okay I take that on the chin, thanks for that son, awesome confidence boost Not.
But nothing can compare to my 11-year-old fashion diva…
“Don’t walk like that mum”
“You can’t wear that”
“You are too old for that”
and the best one is “that is so 2017 no one uses that word/dance/dab anymore”, I had only just got up to date with all the lingo and cool moves and now they are out dated arghh.
Then there are the groans, the funny little noises to show their disapproval. I daren’t even tell them I am really trying my best to be my most ‘normal’ self, there is SO much craziness I am hiding, so many fashion disasters that I can’t bring myself to throw away.
But hey kiddos wait til you have your own children, you will have your own mini critics, and you will miss everything I used to do for you, so throw your insults at me, I know I’m hip, I know one day you will be a “jelly belly” a fashion disaster and a piggy porkie, sausage hawker!!! Good luck kiddo!
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Unless You Have Lost A Parent You Won’t Understand
Unless you have lost a parent you won’t understand the days where half of you is completely gone, you can’t get out of bed, have no motivation for anything, not even to eat or drink, not to wash or brush your hair or get dressed.
The days you cry for hours. The days you drive yourself insane asking yourself if it was your fault and could you have changed anything. The days of waking up taking multiple different medications just to try to keep your brain stable.
The days of anger and rage where you feel everything is against you. The days you are triggered by something so slight that it will make you burst into tears. The days of seeing little girls happy with their fathers or hearing people say “hello dad” on the phone. The days of wishing, hoping, begging to turn back time.
The days of wondering what the future would have been like and imagining all the happy times you could have had. The days of wishing that it would have happened later on in many many years down the line so you could have experienced life together and been by each other’s sides. The days of wishing you had a family to support you through, or just someone to call when your crying all alone.
But this is the reality that I have to wake up to every day. These are the days I spend with my dad now, cuddling his ashes and having one-sided conversations only imagining what his replies would be, a voice in my head and a memory in my heart.
It’s important to remember that just because we walk around with normal faces it doesn’t mean we aren’t dying and broken inside.
I wrote this to show that these are “the days” I face now. They will never understand but maybe they might realise just how hard it truly is. I suffer every single day.
I’m so glad this post is bringing comfort to people, we are not alone in this x
Credit: Tallula Hurford
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Children Of Narcissitic Parents Fall Into These Categories
Children of Narcissistic Parents usually fall in to one of the following three categories:
1. The Runner, this one tends to move as far away as possible and often cuts all contact with their narcissistic parent, sometimes even telling other their mum/dad has passed away or they grew up without parents to avoid having to talk about them, the runner realises that no matter what they say or do their narcissistic parent will never change their ways.
2. The rebel/scapegoat, this is the one that stands up to the abuser and will forever try to get them to see the error of their ways, basically like beating their head against a brick wall, they will also take the blame for siblings rather than see them getting it in the ear, no matter what the narcississistic parent throws at them they will stand their ground.
3. The golden child, this is the one child/sibling who rarely gets into trouble, mum/dad will throw praise at them when ever possible and often ask their siblings why they can’t be more like them, the golden child will either love the special treatment or grow to resent their narcissistic parent and possible become a runner or a rebel.
Do you fall into one of these three categories, if so which one? Did you grow up with a narcissistic parent, what steps did you take as to resolve some of the hurt? Let us know in the comments section.
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Soothing Words After Losing A Loved One
I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying you found it hard to sleep.
I spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
“It’s me, I haven’t left you, I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many things and memories of me.
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I’m not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my hand on you; I smiled and said, “it’s me.”
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It’s possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, “I never went away.”
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew…
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over… I smile and watch you yawning
and say “good-night, God bless, I’ll see you in the morning.”
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I’ll rush across to greet you and we’ll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out…then come home to me.
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