I want to share my story, the story of how i knowingly let my sons abuser move in every weekend.This is how I lost the support of my family but I feel I did the right thing.
My son was 2, a happy, mischievous blonde haired lad, a boy who never failed to make me smile.
He was always happy, until September 3 years ago.
He became quiet and timid and was struggling to use the toilet, his bottom bled, I put it down to him straining too hard.
After a day of spotting I took him to the Doctor, my son screamed and screamed when the doctor tried to take down his trousers.
Once we had managed to take down his trousers and pants and the Doctor examined him, he discovered he had a large anal tear, we rushed to hospital.
At the hospital he was again examined but had to be sedated as he became so distressed, the police and social services arrived.
I was taken to the family room and spoken to, they said they think my son had been abused.
They asked for a list of people who had recently been in contact with my son.
As a lone parent and my son not at nursery yet the list was short. My father, my sister, my brother in law and my 11 year old nephew.
When the police spoke to them all my nephew confessed to raping my son.
Eventually he was sentenced to 6 months in a juvenile detention centre.
I went to visit him and spoke to him at length, his mum and dad had disowned him.
He apologised and he told me he didn’t know it was wrong.
How could he not know?
Surely my sons cries would make him stop?
The blood running down my sons legs?
I questioned him, he confessed that his father (my brother in law) did it to him all the time, ever since he can remember and he always cried and called out, he bled, he thought it was normal.
My poor nephew had been abused all his life…
I helped him report it, but no charges were ever made as who would believe the word of a child rapist with no evidence.
I decided I would would help him when he came out, after all my son and my nephew were both victims here.
My son luckily had no memory of the incident and was back to his normal happy self.
Social services and the courts were obviously reluctant to release him into my care, but agreed he could stay at weekends away from his new foster carers if I put special measures in place.
My nephew has the loft room, which I have to lock of a night, my son and nephew are never aloud alone together and social services visit once a month.
He’s been staying with us a year now and both my son and nephew are healing, my family have walked away from us, they do not support us.
They do not see a broken boy who just needs guidance and love they see a rapist and a fool and a victim.
