Welcome to Mums Advice

Tag: Mum

  • Society To Working Mums

    Society to working moms

    -Go back to work 6-8 weeks after having the baby. The baby that you spent 9-10 months growing inside of your body. Go back to work before you have finished healing or have had time to bond with your baby. Keep your mind on work, and not your tiny helpless baby that is being watched and cared for by someone other than you. Make sure to break the glass ceiling and excel at your job- you can do anything a man can do! It is your job to show society this! Show the world that women can do it all. Rise to the top of your career.

    -Also breastfeed for at least a year. So take 2-3 pumping breaks a day at work, but don’t let it throw you off your game or let you lose your focus.

    -Also, lose that baby weight and get back in shape, as quickly and as gracefully as possible. Make sure to get 8 hours of sleep a night so you can work out, work, and care for your family. But also get up at 5 am to workout, unless you want to do it after your kids go to bed when you also need to clean the house and get life ready for the next day and you know, sleep.

    -Maintain a clean, pinterest worthy house. Take the Christmas lights down. Recycle. Be Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the birthday planner, the poop doula (seriously when will this end), the finder of lost things, the moderator of fights. Be fun. Be firm. Read books. Have dance parties.

    -Maintain the schedule for the entire family. Birthday parties coming up? Make sure to have presents! Ensure the kids are learning to swim, play an instrument, read, ride a bike, be a good human being, eat vegetables, wear sunscreen, drink enough water, say please and thank you. Don’t forget they need to dress as their favorite book character on Monday, and wear something yellow on Thursday. Oh it’s totally your call but most parents come in on their birthday and read to the entire class. In case nobody told you, if you have more than one kid you will need to buy new shoes approximately every other day. See also: winter coats, shorts, pants that aren’t 4 inches too short. There will never be matching socks or gloves for any member of the family, ever again.

    -Remember the dog you got before you had kids? Shes getting old now and needs expensive surgery. She also need walking, a new bed, and she smells pretty bad.

    -Hey! Kids need lots of doctor appointments. Monthly as babies. Every time they are sick. Specialist appointments, especially if any of them have extra needs. At least two school conferences a year. IEP meetings, if applicable. Parents night. Back to school night. Get to know your school night (what IS this). Most parents are volunteering at least once during the year, would you like to come make a craft with the kids? It will only be an hour or two of your time.

    -Sorry, you are now out of vacation time because you used it all for time taking your kids to appointments or when your childcare is unavailable. You should go on vacations though. It’s good to relax and unwind from work. Makes you a better employee.

    -Don’t forget the kids need healthy meals (and so do you! you are trying to lose that last 20 lbs before swim season right). That requires meal planning, grocery shopping, and meal prep on the weekend. But also hang out with your kids on the weekend since during the week you only get to hang out with them when they are exhausted and angry that you made the wrong kind of spaghetti for dinner.

    -Date your spouse! It’s important to keep your relationship alive and fresh. Try to go out 1-2 times a month. Good, kid free time. Hire a babysitter, they charge 22+ dollars an hour in your area so make sure to take out an extra mortgage and/or work another job to be able to afford this.

    -Oh hey you should have a hobby too. It’s important to have “you time”. Also be well read, keep up with the latest pop culture and tv shows, and keep an eye on politics and be able to discuss at least one of the above on the small chance you are out in public and encounter another adult necessitating small talk.

    -Make sure to have friends. Social time is SO important. Surely there is an hour or two left in the week after all of the working, appointments, exercising, cooking, scheduling, cleaning, imparting lifelong morals and learning on the kids, the usual. Maybe go out after the kids are down for a glass of wine and a bite to eat. Make it a healthy bite though. And you may regret that wine at your 530 am spin class.

    -Self care though. SO important. See also: getting in shape. See the general doctor, the dentist (TWICE), the lady doctor. Prob need to get your eyes checked. Full body skin checks 2+ times a year (just me? okay well). Mental health too. Postpartum anxiety? But you look fine and your kids are so cute. Everyone should have a therapist. Good luck finding one that takes your insurance and has hours outside of your normal working time (out of vacation time, remember?). That leaves evening time when you want to hang out with your kids. But it’s important, so make time for it.null

    -Don’t wear yoga pants and a mom bun or society is going to mock you in numerous witty blog posts. Never mind that nothing fits. Going to have to get up even earlier so you have time to style your hair, wing your eye liner and search for a pair of pants that fits your new post baby (or multiple b

  • The Harsh Truth Of Having Nobody

    The harsh truth of having nobody.
    Please be kind and support all your friends and family as much as you can, you never know what they’re facing. Don’t just ask mums how there kids are, ask the mum how she is, ask her if she is coping and talk to her even if she says she is, make her aware you are there and will be if she ever decides she isn’t coping.

    This letter was written by a woman who took her life

    To my precious friends and family

    Please just know I love you all so much but I can’t do it anymore, I can’t keep up the pretence, I cant take 1 more night of crying myself to sleep, my face hurts, my head hurts, my eyes are raw, I’m so tired

    I keep seeing all the posts over social media of happy families having fun supporting each other then there is me sat here with no one, yes I have my children but as selfish as it sounds I’m desperate for a break, not from them but this routine, their dad doesn’t want to know, my parents only being able to come as close as the gate, I feel so alone, we can’t even go for a walk because we’re in shielding, I feel like a prisoner

    I started off like everyone else, up washed dressed, 3 meals a day, school work done in the morning, fun activities in the afternoon and settle down with a movie at night, kids in bed, quickly tidy and fall asleep again for the next day, do you know what my routine is now, this will probably anger a lot of you but rest assured as I’m typing this the guilt is eating away at me, the tears are streaming and I wish that this wasn’t my reality but it is, I now awake around 11 and noon after not being able to sleep all night, fantasing about sneaking out and abandoning the kids, how to kill myself, do I take the kids too or do i let them live on with out me and find me in the morning, at this point the kids have been up on their own, messed up the house which I can’t face sorting, either not eaten or helped themselves to anything, around 3pm I can finally move, still can’t motivate myself to do anything productive, just sit on social media torturing myself watching and wondering how people are managing to do the things they are doing, wishing I could just get up washed and dressed.

    Well it’s now 3:30am this is my 5th night of this and I can’t take it any longer, this is the only productive thing I’ve done for a while

    I’ve packed all the kids things up, their clothes, paper work and their favourite things, I’ve wrote them all a letter saying I love them and how sorry I am

    The key is under the doormat please who ever gets this first come and get the children before they wake around 8am, don’t go into my room just ring the police, you dont need to have that last memory of me

    I’m so sorry, love you all please forgive me

    This was a couple of days ago, she hung herself

    Our family have requested to stay anonymous so please share this as such but they beg you to get the word out if anyone is feeling anything like this or can relate in anyway please speak up

    They want this letter to go viral, if it saves just one person’s life please spread it far and wide

  • Today Is Not A Normal Day

    This covid-19 is scary.

    I’ve woken up with a sore throat, which is giving me a little tickle in my throat causing me to cough & a headache.

    Normally wouldnt think anything of it, other then well that’s annoying & carry on my day like normal. 😒

    Today is not normal, today’s world is not normal. ☠🤒😷🤧

    I’m questioning everything, is my sore throat caused because I tried to drink & cough at the same time last night which caused me to choke – that can cause a sore throat? Right? Which in turn could cause the tickle in my throat?? Right??

    I had 1 glass of wine last night, normally ok with wine but not really drank for awhile (even tho looks like I’ve turned into an alcoholic)- that could be the cause of my headache? Right?

    Or do I have all this cause I’m stressed/worried/over thinking everything?? My temperature is 37.3 which is normal. Last time I properly ventured out was Saturday 28th March – 11 days ago. I’ve had deliveries but they & I have took the right measures?? Right??

    What IF its covid-19? What about my boys, my husband?? WHAT IF????

    I look outside daily & see people carrying on like normal, like nothings wrong. Yet I’m in my flat thinking ALL sorts, this COVID -19 is serious, it’s scary & today I’m more scared then ever 😪

    Ppl really need to wake up & realise the things they do, decisions they make effect everything! I’m scared naturally of what tomorrow brings, so how come other ppl are just taking this all like it’s a holiday?😔😡

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/teri.martin.58

  • How Do You Think You’re Doing As A Mum?

    God: How do you think you’re doing as a mom?

    Mom: Well I don’t play with my kids as much as I should. I get grumpy. Yesterday they ate pizza for the second time this week. I don’t really like cooking together or crafts, but I wish I did.

    Sometimes I do it anyway, but mostly I’m just trying not to get annoyed. My house is like one giant clothes and crumb explosion. I really should have them keep their rooms cleaner, but sometimes I just don’t want to pick another battle. I’m not really sure when the last time my second son bathed was. That’s probably not good.

    Yesterday I snapped over a cliff bar wrapper that no one was cleaning up. Sometimes I worry because they bicker a lot, like is that my fault? Did I do something wrong? At night I’m so tired I fall into the couch and watch shows and eat snacks until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. When I lay in bed I find myself wondering if they all are brushing their teeth well enough.

    I’m too hard on the oldest and too lenient with the youngest. I love our dinnertime discussions and I just can’t get enough of their laughs and the way they tell stories. Sometimes when they’re talking though I’m not really listening I’m worrying about something completely different, I think they can tell. I wonder all the time if I’m doing a good job and if they know how much I love them.

    God: Do you love them?

    Mom: With my whole entire heart.

    God: You sound wonderful.

    Follow Wonderoak by Jess Johnston for more real, raw, an funny.

  • All My Wife Has To Do Is Look After The Baby

    I came home yesterday evening after working 12 hours. I went into the bathroom to get cleaned up and ready for dinner. I noticed my daughters bassinet in the bathroom…

    I asked my wife if she had put her in there, and how she did in it. She said that she put her in it as she had showered during the day. We continued to talk about how good she had been and how much she’s growing up and so forth…

    This morning I came home from the gym, turned the shower on, to get cleaned up for work. I turned to the door, and saw where my wife wiped away the steam from the glass, so that she could see our baby girl in the bassinet….

    I literally just sat there and stared at the glass and smiled. I could see it, I imagined it, it was like I was there in the room with them. I could see Heather just looking through the glass and making faces at Lottie as she smiled and played in her bassinet! I just melted!!!

    It’s so crazy to me, how the smallest things can make me so appreciative of my wife. It’s the little sacrifices my wife makes for this family, that would normally go unnoticed. From caring for our daughter 24/7, to caring for me, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the animals, and taking care of herself (yeah right, there’s no time for that)…

    It just makes me stop and think…. I work hard… I work long 10-12 hours days… I get tired… I have stressful days… that’s my right, as the working member in the house hold right… to be catered to hand and foot when I get off?!?

    All she does is have to take care of a baby….

    So it should be that she cooks, and keeps the house clean, dishes washed, laundry clean and put up, animals tended to…. and I’m a man, have I mentioned my needs yet ?!?

    I mean seriously, she’s at home all day after all!

    Mannnnn…. I can’t tell you how much this fogged up glass means to me !

    The fact that my wife can’t even shower without caring for someone else…. tending to someone else’s needs…. get a second to herself to relax

    My wife doesn’t get to clock out, my wife doesn’t get the satisfaction of seeing a check deposited in the bank in return of her hard work, my wife doesn’t get to eat lunch with co workers, my wife doesn’t get to just walk outside and just take a deep breath….

    This may be just a fogged up piece of glass to some, but to me it means so much more. It’s the little things like this that don’t go un noticed…. it’s the little things like this that constantly remind me how badass she is…. it’s the little things like this that make me fall in love with her all over again, Heather Williams!

    Thank you for being the amazing woman you are… it doesn’t go unnoticed!

    👑 I love you My Queen 👑

    Credit: Six Shots with Zack and Heather

  • Here’s To The Formula Feeding Mum

    Here’s to the formula feeding mom! The one who wants more than anything to breastfeed but her body doesn’t work like it should…to the one who had to go back to work and was too stressed to pump…to the one whose milk never came in…to the one fighting illness and on meds that aren’t safe for baby…to the one who tried and it just wasn’t her cup of tea…to the one that changed every little thing in her diet and baby still wasn’t happy with her milk.

    Yes we see you breastfeeding mama’s and we fully support you (in fact if you ask us, we are completely and utterly jealous of you) but this, THIS is for the formula feeding mama who is tired of the guilt and shame she feels every single time she makes a bottle – in public or at home, who struggles finding what formula is best for her baby’s sensitive stomach, or who feels as if she’s failed at motherhood before she’s even touched the surface! I see you. I understand your feelings. You are not a failure! Your formula milk is worth more than gold too 💛🍼🎰 #wendywrites #motherhood #formulafeeding

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/wendy.wygle

  • Embarrassing Mom Moment Of The Month

    Embarrassing Mom moment of the month 😶

    I have all three children with me at Walmart and the worst happened.

    My belly started gurgling and I needed to use the potty… Nope I’m not talking about pee-pee. I’m sure all my moms out there can agree that it is not a pleasant experience toting children into a public bathroom with you. I’m rushing all of them into the biggest stall (ha, rushing? I really meant shoving them because they want to be as slow as humanly possible. While touching everything on the way in there). As I finally get all of them into the stall I clip Lyric into the little chair thing as fast as I can. I hollered for her brother’s to stay right next to her, grab a toilet seat cover and plop down. As I breathe a sigh of relief that I made it, this is the very loud conversation my children had in the echoing public bathroom;

    Landon- Wow Mom you really needed to poop bad! What did you eat?

    Liam- I think Mom ate poop because it smells like poop really bad

    Random shopper- *giggling*

    Me- Boys, be quiet right now!

    Landon- Mom, is it diarrhea or just poop?

    Liam- it’s probably diarrhea because she needed to go really bad!

    THEN IT HAPPENED!!!….

    Landon- *Yells so loud it echoes 10× over!*

    COURTESY FLUUSHHHHH!

    Liam- *almost in a song* Courtesy Fluuuuuush!

    I don’t know how many Random Shoppers but for sure more than one- *laughing out loud*

    Me- 😨😭😲

    After I finished, I waited for a while hoping everybody that witnessed what happened had already left. I walk out of the bathroom and I noticed a pair of familiar shoes from the stall that was next to us standing outside the bathroom. Then as if it wasn’t already bad enough Landon looks up at me and says, “Mom do you feel better? I always feel better after I take a good poop.” 😕

    Oh nothing is sweeter than a child’s honesty 😣

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/lacy.davison.7

  • When The Kids Start School I’ll Get So Much Done

    ‘When the kids all start school, it’s going to be so good, you’ll have so much time on your hands. You’re going to be able to accomplish so much’, they said.

    —

    All that freedom I thought, I’ll be able to finally get rid of the clutter in my house, redecorate, make it lovely. I started.

    —

    Make delicious home cooked meals, make my own bread, kombucha, kimchi, cakes, my own butter. I did for a while.

    —

    Really get into my online subscription box business, all that time to pack boxes during the day. I did for a bit.

    —

    I’d start a fitness routine every or join a gym. Yeah I didn’t do that bit.😂

    —

    I’ll go to the cinema on my own every week. I’ve been a few times.

    —

    I’ll finally be able to run all my workshops I’ve been planning from my newly spruced up home. See above (it’s not been done)

    —

    I’ll become the most organised efficient person, I’ll have a cleaning schedule, a laundry plan, maybe I’ll start ironing again. I don’t even need to say this bit do I?

    —

    However, It turns out that after 17 years of always having small people at home with me I have no idea how to manage the empty space. I’m lonely and slightly grieving those times.

    —

    I started off ok in September, starting lots of things, I found a day friend, I prepared big meals, I started the jobs, the festive season came along with lots to do. But then back to the space

    —

    But what noone tells you is after having constant companionship every day that when that is gone you have to face yourself, deal with things you pushed aside, deal with the loneliness of sometimes going the whole day with no other human contact. It’s a lot like when you first have a baby, you realise there is a lot of quiet time to fill. This time you don’t even get the little squish to snuggle with.

    —

    I’ve not heard people mention what happens in this bit. Needed still but differently. Still many logistics to handle.

    Overwhelming feelings about all the things I could do followed by the realisations that maybe I actually don’t want to/don’t have to do them. Suddenly I have too many new choices.

    —

    I will get used to it, I know I’ve much to be grateful for but I needed to acknowledge these unexpected feelings today.❤

  • Warning To Expectant Mums Not To Sleep On Their Backs

    3 years ago I had a little boy who was far to precious for earth and he was born sleeping 💔 I was 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant, a couple of months after it happened I did a research interview with a nurse who was comparing live pregnancies to those who was stillborn to see if they could find anything to help prevent stillbirths in other woman, well I got the results in the post today and I’m delighted to say they have managed to find something 🙌🏻❤️

    Basically woman who sleep on there backs in the last 12 weeks of pregnancy are twice as likely to have a stillbirth then women who sleep on there sides, they’ve made a massive campaign on it it’s called Tommy’s #sleeponside campaign similar to count the kicks, all very small things to do in your pregnancy but can make a massive Difference! My son didn’t pass away because of the way I slept or anything like that, he passed away because I have blood that’s prone to blood clots and the blood flow to my placenta wasn’t working, but regardless they’ve interviewed thousands of woman and they’ve obviously found something ❤️ so please please all my lovely pregnant friends listen to your Midwife’s and doctors there not doing it to nag or moan there doing it for you and your little bundle of joy ❤️ let’s bring the number of stillbirths down because it shouldn’t be as high as it is ❤️💙🤱🏼👶👣

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/samantha.murphy.75

     

  • Stop Asking How Much To Spend On Your Kids

    You know what I can’t stand is mums and mums group asking how much they should spend on their crotch goblins for Christmas.

    How is this even a question you spend what you can afford or what you feel is acceptable budget.

    If you only have a £50 budget then so be it, you know what your kids will still have a great day and love what you have given them, older children will understand that times are hard and that you are doing your upmost best for them and if they don’t then you need to teach them the value of money.

    If you do happen to have plenty of spare cash it does not mean you have to buy your kids the world or brag about the huge mounds of gifts under the tree.

    Lets not make Christmas a competition, let’s not get loans out or spend all year going without so you can make one day “special”.

    Looking back on my childhood I don’t remember the expensive gifts I can barely remember a single gift other than a pogo stick which I absolutely loved, It wasn’t until I was an adult that my mother told me she had bought it from a car boot sale for only a pound.

    Christmas should be about the ones you love, spending time with them not money!!!

    Don’t ask what you should spend….You are enough and you are doing great mama