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Tag: Mum

  • I’m Ok, It’s Ok, No Adult Company Again Today

    Say bye to my husband as he goes out to work. Take the eldest to school. Just me and the 2 year old again. Alone.

    What shall we do today? All alone.

    Farm? Soft play? The park? Just us. I wonder if anyone fancies a brew?! But who is there to call?

    I’ll just do some jobs, have a brew. What time is it? Shall we head out and get back for dinner? Where shall we go? Just us.

    The loneliness creeps in. Should I ring my husband? No he’s busy at work, I mustn’t disturb him. Who shall I message?

    I’ll just scroll Facebook and maybe the gram. See if anyone’s about.

    Should I message that mum from school? No she’ll be busy. You only know her to chat to, will she even want a brew?

    We play some games. Read a book. Shall we watch some telly? I’ll just scroll Facebook again… get some contact with the world. Something other than these 4 walls.

    Now it’s dinner time. Maybe someone will be around after school?

    Hi are you in this aft? x

    No sorry.

    Ok x

    Why what’s up?

    Nothing (not strictly true), was just seeing if you were free for a brew. x

    No I’m not sorry.

    Hi what you up2?

    Just in town.

    Ahh ok.

    Why?

    Just seeing if you were in and fancied a brew.

    Are you home?

    No I’m at work.

    It’s just me, the toddler and these 4 walls today. There’s always tomorrow.

    No-one messages, maybe it’s me. Maybe no-one wants to meet us. It’s ok. I’m ok. No adult company today. The loneliness is creeping in.

    We pick the eldest up from school. If I’m lucky there might be a parent about for a chat. Only I can’t hold a full conversation as the youngest is clinging off me, running about. I need to keep my eye on her.

    We go home and there’s now 2 little voices to contend with.

    By the time my husband gets home from work, we’re eating tea. He joins us. We chat about nothing much. I’m exhausted.

    Exhausted from being lonely.

    There’s always tomorrow for some company.

    The days blur. The loneliness sinks in. So much so that even after you’ve had company, you still feel lonely.

    You stop asking if people are free. You stick to the 4 walls, your kids and your brew.

    It’s the loneliness that numbs my brain. Does it numb anyone else’s? No conversations to make me think, to make my brain whir.

    I forget how to interact with people. I can’t make new friends. The ones I’ve got don’t have time to meet up, why would anybody new? It’s ok. I’m ok.

    The loneliness sinks deeper into my skin.

    There’s always tomorrow.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/thenonperfectparentsclub/

  • My Mum Thanked Me Last Night

    My mum thanked me last night.

    She babysat, and SHE thanked ME?!

    She never taught my brother or I to self soothe.

    We shared her bed.

    We took our naps in her arms.

    She breastfed till we naturally weaned…

    And one day, all of that came to an end.

    One day, we turned into cranky and unruly teenagers who wanted to be with our friends over her.

    And then even later on, one day we both got married and had families of our own.

    Last night, my husband and I went out.

    Not far. And we weren’t late.

    But when we got back, I went upstairs and found my children asleep in my mothers arms in the same way that they fall asleep in my arms every night.

    And in the same way that my brother and I had fallen asleep in her arms every night.

    They all looked so calm and peaceful.

    I asked if she was ok, and she smiled through faint tears.

    She thanked me for giving her these moments back.

    These moments that she never imagined possible to experience again….

    she thought that these days had well and truly passed.

    She told me that no matter how hard she tries, she can’t remember the last time she held me.

    She can’t remember my last feed.

    She can’t even remember the last time that I climbed into her bed in the middle of the night asking her for a cuddle….

    But when she held her grandchildren to sleep, it gave her an emotional reminder of what it was like. How beautiful it felt. How special it was.

    Because these moments won’t last forever.

    Even though sometimes they feel like they will.

    She told me how lucky I am that I get to do this every single night. And how fortunate I am that I get to do so for a little while longer.

    I smiled. She is right.

    Even on those long nights when I don’t believe that to be the case; I am most definitely lucky.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/mrsmombastic/

  • A Letter From An Old Mother Of Boys To A New One

    ~ A LETTER FROM AN OLD MOTHER OF BOYS…TO A NEW ONE ~

    Dearest Meghan,

    If you could see my uterus, it’s probably blue. And has a beard. Because this baby factory only makes boys.

    Parenting someone of the opposite sex brings challenges you’re just going to have to adapt to, so as a mother of two humans with Y chromosomes, here are my top tips for mothering males:

    Firstly, it’s true, boys ARE less drama than girls but you know what? They’re harder to keep alive. You’ve basically got yourself a rabid raccoon on speed, Megs.

    Please rethink your standards of ‘safety’. Stock up on Betadine and Band-Aids. My five year old’s favourite toy right now is a mini tomahawk, while my eldest’s latest obsession is firing a cross bow and arrow into an abandoned tyre. Need I say more.

    While we’re on the topic of weaponry, get ready for Frogmore Cottage to be buried in mountains of Nerf gun bullets. On the plus side, they double as really great foam earplugs, which you’ll need to combat the NOISE LEVELS you’re about to experience. So stock up on noise cancelling headphones or learn transcendental meditation. You decide.

    Let’s talk about your wardrobe. Burn all of your white clothes. That is all.

    Most importantly, you must think farts are funny. If you laugh with your son, you’ll all benefit. If you try to get him to stop laughing about them, it will only make matters worse.

    You must also be cool with nudity. My boys strip off the moment they get home from school. Forget everything Oprah and The Dalai Lama ever said – jocks + socks are the true key to happiness. And LOTS of food – get your Duchessy mitts on an Aldi trolley token and go nuts. (My nine year old could go head to head with a Japanese competitive eater.)

    Last but not least: ‘The Grab’. I’m talking about the doodle, the zizi, the King Dingaling – whatever you want to call it. Get used to it being man-handled 24/7. I have literally been forced to utter the phrase “Stop wrapping your penis around your fork.” May the force be with you.

    Yours,

    Lise Carlaw

  • Society To Working Moms

    Society to working moms:

    -Go back to work 6-8 weeks after having the baby. The baby that you spent 9-10 months growing inside of your body. Go back to work before you have finished healing or have had time to bond with your baby. Keep your mind on work, and not your tiny helpless baby that is being watched and cared for by someone other than you. Make sure to break the glass ceiling and excel at your job- you can do anything a man can do! It is your job to show society this! Show the world that women can do it all. Rise to the top of your career.

    -Also breastfeed for at least a year. So take 2-3 pumping breaks a day at work, but don’t let it throw you off your game or let you lose your focus.

    -Also, lose that baby weight and get back in shape, as quickly and as gracefully as possible. Make sure to get 8 hours of sleep a night so you can work out, work, and care for your family. But also get up at 5 am to workout, unless you want to do it after your kids go to bed when you also need to clean the house and get life ready for the next day and you know, sleep.

    -Maintain a clean, pinterest worthy house. Take the Christmas lights down. Recycle. Be Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the birthday planner, the poop doula (seriously when will this end), the finder of lost things, the moderator of fights. Be fun. Be firm. Read books. Have dance parties.

    -Maintain the schedule for the entire family. Birthday parties coming up? Make sure to have presents! Ensure the kids are learning to swim, play an instrument, read, ride a bike, be a good human being, eat vegetables, wear sunscreen, drink enough water, say please and thank you. Don’t forget they need to dress as their favorite book character on Monday, and wear something yellow on Thursday. Oh it’s totally your call but most parents come in on their birthday and read to the entire class. In case nobody told you, if you have more than one kid you will need to buy new shoes approximately every other day. See also: winter coats, shorts, pants that aren’t 4 inches too short. There will never be matching socks or gloves for any member of the family, ever again.

    -Remember the dog you got before you had kids? Shes getting old now and needs expensive surgery. She also need walking, a new bed, and she smells pretty bad.

    -Hey! Kids need lots of doctor appointments. Monthly as babies. Every time they are sick. Specialist appointments, especially if any of them have extra needs. At least two school conferences a year. IEP meetings, if applicable. Parents night. Back to school night. Get to know your school night (what IS this). Most parents are volunteering at least once during the year, would you like to come make a craft with the kids? It will only be an hour or two of your time.

    -Sorry, you are now out of vacation time because you used it all for time taking your kids to appointments or when your childcare is unavailable. You should go on vacations though. It’s good to relax and unwind from work. Makes you a better employee.

    -Don’t forget the kids need healthy meals (and so do you! you are trying to lose that last 20 lbs before swim season right). That requires meal planning, grocery shopping, and meal prep on the weekend. But also hang out with your kids on the weekend since during the week you only get to hang out with them when they are exhausted and angry that you made the wrong kind of spaghetti for dinner.

    -Date your spouse! It’s important to keep your relationship alive and fresh. Try to go out 1-2 times a month. Good, kid free time. Hire a babysitter, they charge 22+ dollars an hour in your area so make sure to take out an extra mortgage and/or work another job to be able to afford this.

    -Oh hey you should have a hobby too. It’s important to have “you time”. Also be well read, keep up with the latest pop culture and tv shows, and keep an eye on politics and be able to discuss at least one of the above on the small chance you are out in public and encounter another adult necessitating small talk.

    -Make sure to have friends. Social time is SO important. Surely there is an hour or two left in the week after all of the working, appointments, exercising, cooking, scheduling, cleaning, imparting lifelong morals and learning on the kids, the usual. Maybe go out after the kids are down for a glass of wine and a bite to eat. Make it a healthy bite though. And you may regret that wine at your 530 am spin class.

    -Self care though. SO important. See also: getting in shape. See the general doctor, the dentist (TWICE), the lady doctor. Prob need to get your eyes checked. Full body skin checks 2+ times a year (just me? okay well). Mental health too. Postpartum anxiety? But you look fine and your kids are so cute. Everyone should have a therapist. Good luck finding one that takes your insurance and has hours outside of your normal working time (out of vacation time, remember?). That leaves evening time when you want to hang out with your kids. But it’s important, so make time for it.

    -Don’t wear yoga pants and a mom bun or society is going to mock you in numerous witty blog posts. Never mind that nothing fits. Going to have to get up even earlier so you have time to style your hair, wing your eye liner and search for a pair of pants that fits your new post baby (or multiple baby) shape.

    -Get off your phone, turn off the TV, and enjoy your life. Enjoy your kids. THESE ARE THE GOOD TIMES make sure to love every minute of life because before you know it all of this will be in the past.

    I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to lean OUT. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

    Full Credit Sarah Buckley Friedberg

  • Stay At Home Mum Depression Is Something We Need To Talk About

    Stay at home mum (SAHM) depression… the elephant in the room nobody talks about. I mean, how dare you complain after being gifted this opportunity to stay at home and raise your own kids?

    But it’s not that simple: of course we SAHM’s are grateful to stay home and raise our young but that it’s literally all we become.

    No one talks about the isolation. No one talks about the loss of identity. No one talks about the loneliness. No one talks about losing your sense of self. No one talks about how you had to give up your career because it’s cheaper for you to stay home.

    No one talks about how you cry in the shower because your day was overwhelming. No one understands why you’re tired. No one understands why you’re irritable. No one understands why you need a mental break. No one understands why you’re so aggravated with your kids.

    No one understands why after you’ve been home all day, the house is a wreck still. No one understands why you just need 5 minutes with no one speaking to or touching you. No one understands why you’ve lost your sex drive. No one understands why you’re completely and utterly exhausted, after all, you just sit at home all day.

    No one understands the feeling you have when you are told you don’t have a “real job.”

    Most of us were working women at one point. We got to go to a job and interact with other adults outside our home. We contributed financially to our household. (Shoot, most of us want some kind of side hustle or part-time job because it would sure help with financial relief.)

    We didn’t feel like an endless maid. We got that break away (even though yes, work is a love/ hate relationship) that gives you space from the people you live with (children, spouse, etc.) because yes, every relationship needs time away in it to not go crazy being around each other 24/7. That’s not healthy. Contrary to popular belief – you need a break daily.

    I can’t tell you how many women I meet or know that say “oh, you have too much time on your hands,” I sure wish I could stay home, I wouldn’t complain.”

    Good for you!

    I can guarantee you will change your mind 6 months in, unless you’re wealthy and have money to constantly go do things. I once was you. I wished upon a star I could stay home with my kids because I wanted to spend all the time I could. I didn’t realise what all came with being a SAHM.

    Oh but you chose to have those kids. You should’ve thought about that before having them. If you didn’t want to go through all this you should’ve never had kids. And you said you want more?

    Seriously… Heard those all before.

    Next time you hear or see a SAHM venting her frustrations, listen and make her feel like she’s somebody. That her struggles are not invalid.

    Thanks Momma’s Tired for shedding light on depression and voicing the challenges many mums face. For being honest because for many, this is a typical week.

    Check out Momm’s tired on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/themommastired/

  • Sad Times, I’ve Filled In My Childs School Application

    Sad times! I’ve finally filled out my littlest one’s school application.

    I left it as long as possible as I was totally putting it off. For lots of reasons, I am going to miss having the babe with me every day, I am going to miss the snuggles at a moments notice, I am worried that as my final baby goes to school I am on the path to old age and eventual death and decay.

    My mind is running out of control, what will I do with myself, what if this is what finally sends me over edge just wondering around lost all day (in between my work obviously). It’s making me feel very sad even though I know it’s so stupid to think this way. Haven’t I said to so many people so many times parenting is the longest game you’ll ever play. Usually adding with a grimace, ‘and it never ends and you don’t ever WIN’

    You do WIN most days though, even if it’s just for a second. You snatch all those winning moments and block out the bad ones (eventually!) 😂😂 and how we laugh about it!! 😱😂😂😂

     

    I am very ponderous today and a bit stroppy too, but please forgive me whilst I move through this and try to hold myself x

    Being a mum means lettng go, I know people say that kids grow up so fast but I am not ready for it to fly by in the blink of an eye.

    Treasure the little moments, read another story, snuggle under the blankets, before you know it they will be starting school, then secondary school, college, maybe university and moving out and starting their own families

     

  • This Advert Is The Most Inspirational Thing I Have Ever Watched

    Most parents will never know what it’s like to care for a sick child — not the ones with snotty noses and low-grade fevers, but the ones with real, chronic, sometimes-fatal illnesses — and that’s a good thing. It’s a pain no mum should have to bear, but many do, and a soul-crushing ad is shedding light on just a glimpse of what that struggle is like.

    In honor of Mother’s Day last year, SickKids Foundation, a children’s health nonprofit, released the 90-second commercial. In it, there’s a mom praying in a church pew, a mom screaming and bashing her fists against the steering wheel in a vacant parking lot, and a mom breaking down in tears as a nurse explains how she’ll have to care for her sick infant. Those watching can almost feel the anguish. Almost.

    Then, each of these moms literally wipes away the tears, picks herself up, and gets to work. It’s remarkable.

    The organization’s message? “For every kid in hospital who’s missing childhood, there’s a mom staying strong.”

    Unlike most ads you watch, take action after you see this one. As SickKids implores, stand with these mums to “help their kids get back to just being kids.” And may you never have to know this kind of strength.

    https://youtu.be/HvNF0yFUcx0

  • If He Is Kicking and Screaming Its Just His Way Of Coping

    If he falls to the floor, kicking and screaming, because there’s no chicken nuggets, it’s just his way of coping. Be patient, you’ll get your turn to order.

    If he bumps his head and starts to hit himself in the face, don’t stare, it’s his frustration. Mum will handle it, she see’s it everyday.

    If mum is cutting her child’s food, she’s not treating him like baby

    She just doesn’t want her son to choke.

    If he ignores your child on the playground, he’s not a brat. he’s just not good at social interaction. he would love to play with your child, he just doesn’t know how.

    He may be too big to sit in the shopping trolley, no, he’s not lazy. He wants to run around, but his mum needs to shop. She’s not up for chasing him today.

    If he has to be carried out screaming, it’s probably because of a meltdown. Be helpful, open the door. Don’t just stare or whisper. No, it’s not because he didn’t get the toy he wanted. If it were only that simple.

    Don’t talk to him like a child, unless he is one. Don’t yell, he’s not deaf. he may not talk, but he can understand.

    No, it’s not bad parenting. Discipline won’t help.

    This is autism, it’s his life. Don’t judge him, he’s not judging you.

     

  • When A Mother Says Shes’s Tired That’s All She Meant

    When a mother says she’s tired, that’s all she meant!

    She did not say she wants to drop her child and forget that he or she exists.

    When a mother says she wanted some time alone, just her, that’s all she meant!

    She didn’t say she’s sorry to be a mother and that motherhood was a mistake in her life.

    When a mother says she needs help to get things done, that’s exactly what she meant!

    She is not saying that she is incapable.

    When a mother makes noodles for dinner, it does not mean she does noodles every day of the week and that her son/daughter is a child who does not know vegetables and meats.

    When you arrive at a mother’s house and face disorganization, it doesn’t mean that every day that house is disorganized.

    When a mother says she’d love to go out with her friends, that’s all she meant! She doesn’t want to go back to being “Single / not a mother” and like it as if she had no responsibility.

    When a mother says she’s worried and afraid, that’s what she meant! She didn’t say she’s going to falter, and much less she’s a coward.

    When you listen to a mother screaming, it doesn’t mean she just screams, probably she has spoken 300 times with normal voice tone.

    When you see a nervous mother, on the edge of madness, doesn’t mean every day she’s in that situation.

    There is a whole context, a whole situation.

    Do not invent untruths to judge someone, let alone a woman who every day, at all times, gives up her own life to live the life of another being that she knows is much more important than her.

    In the world there is no human being able to give up and donate as much as a mother!

    And they deserve a lot of understanding and fewer trials. ✍️💖

    Credit Charity Beth

  • Dating Single Mums Is Hard But Give It A Go

    Dating a single mum is hard, she will often have to cancel dates last-minute, be it because her child is ill or her babysitter has let her down or sometimes he simpy may not have the energy to go out.

    Her texts may be short and sometimes she will not reply at all.

    She will never be able to put you first, her child is her priority, she doesn’t even put herself first.

    She will often be tired, or talk non stop about everything and anything because sometimes you are the only adult she has seen or days.

    She doesn’t always make an effort with her appearance or have random stains on her clothes.

    On a date she will regularly look at her phone to check on her child with the sitter, you will not get her undivided attention.

    So why on earth would anyone date a single mum, why do I bother with this woman who cannot put me first?

    Well a woman who will go without to provide for someone is a warrior, a woman who will play with her child all day and comfort her crying child has so much love to give.

    I want a woman who will multitask, a woman who doesn’t think she is special but really she is, a woman who I can help, a woman I can respect.

    Thank you single mummy’s for stepping up when the dads step down, you my dear are stronger and braver than you give yourself credit for.