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Tag: lonely

  • Why This Photo Of A Dad Eating Dinner With His Daughter Has Been Shared Nearly 50K Times

     

    Why This Photo Of A Dad Eating Dinner With His Daughter Has Been Shared Nearly 50K Times

    Most of us don’t think about the people behind our food. The people planting, growing, and harvesting our food. Many of us don’t realize the backbreaking, brutal, lonely work that goes into that one sack of potatoes you might pick up for pennies at the shop.

    Some of us might not think twice about the sugar we spoon into our morning coffee. And certainly not all of us contemplate the existence of the beef that we bite into with a big, delicious burger.

    But the men and women who are clocking in hours as farmers are the very people that make the world go `round, and one farmer’s wife recently shared a sweet look inside the sacrifice — and sweetness — of life on the farm.

    I snapped this picture the other night at the end of a long day. I was tired. I was irritated. I had sent my husband a text telling him that I knew it wouldn’t make a difference, but I wanted him to know that I was feeling fed up with how much he works and with all that I have to do everyday by myself. The full time job, cooking dinner, bathing kids, weekend trips without him, keeping up a home, you name it I was resenting it. I have to have these little moments.. more

    Katie Spence Pugh, a mum of three, including twins who were born in 2010, and pharmaceutical rep who lives in West Tennessee America, posted a picture to Instagram and Facebook about the hardships of being a farmer’s wife. In her family blog, Pugh described how she and her husband, Eugene, had been college sweethearts before getting married. When Eugene decided to help run his family’s farm, Pugh also made a commitment to shoulder the sacrifice that comes with shouldering many of the responsibilities of parenting solo.

    “I snapped this picture the other night at the end of a long day,” Pugh wrote. “I was tired. I was irritated. I had sent my husband a text telling him that I knew it wouldn’t make a difference, but I wanted him to know that I was feeling fed up with how much he works and with all that I have to do everyday by myself. The full time job, cooking dinner, bathing kids, weekend trips without him, keeping up a home, you name it I was resenting it.” 

    Pugh went on to describe that she gave into those (very normal, I might add!) feelings of resentment several times over the grueling planting and harvesting seasons, when it’s typical for farmers to work until the wee hours of the mornings, only to stumble in for a few hours of sleep before climbing back into a tractor. And it was in one of those moments, when Pugh was feeling overwhelmed, that she had an epiphany.

    “He came in, fixed his plate and sat down to eat all alone. He was tired. He was hot. He was exhausted. Rather than complain, he said he was sorry I was tired and felt that way. Charlotte joined him and talked his head off and even ate most of his dinner. He didn’t complain. He shared, and it hit me. Do I wish that we saw him more than an hour or so a day? Yes. But, the love he has for his craft is something to envy. Farmers work in a thankless profession.

    It’s always non GMO this and organic that, and let’s not even talk about the stress from Mother Nature. This is a man who is working to uphold 4 generations of blood sweat and tears and showing his children the value of hard work and discipline. So while I felt frustrated, I really should have felt thankful.

    I got to sit down to dinner and hear all the stories from the day with the kids. I got to give them a bath and hear their squeals and giggles. I got to snuggle and love on them for 3 hours more than he did. He is the one sacrificing, not me. We will keep on keeping on until the next rainy day when we get a few extra hours with our hard worker.”

    Pugh’s words have resonated with farmer’s wives, and us mere mortals, all around America and the world, as it has been shared over 48K times.

     
    If nothing else, Pugh’s words are an important reminder to remember the sacrifice of those who work so hard to provide for us all.
    “The next time you slip into that comfy cotton shirt or eat delicious farm fresh food, thank a farmer. Where would we be without them?” asks Pugh.
    Consider this our thanks to you, Eugene, and to you, Katie. Because farming, like parenting, is always a team effort requiring sleepless nights, endless patience, and a whole lot of comfort food.

     

  • I Am Your Forgotten Friend

    I am your forgotten friend.

    We may have known each other for years. I’m in your circle of Friends, the group, the squad, but I’m nobody’s favourite.

    I get invited and I always show up and we have a good time, but would anyone miss me if I wasn’t there?

    When it comes down to sitting around the table nobody says oh I’ll sit with you. When it comes to getting in cars, I’ll be in the front next to the driver, nobody wants me in the back with them.

    They’ve got their favourites, everyone’s got a favourite in their group of friends, except I’m nobody’s favourite.

    I’ll have a smile on my face people say they have had a good time, but would it make a difference if I wasn’t there? Nobody knows how it feels, not in my group of friends, I don’t think anyone would ever choose me.

    I dread the group chat, I want to put my opinion across, I really do, but it feels like nobody hears me or sees me.  I’d love to send a message and talk about how my day is going or what I’ve been doing, but no one would reply, it seems like they never do, not when it’s me.

    Even when it comes to the little things like selfies, I’m the pictures, I’m in the group shots! But the single pictures just you and me, that never happens. There will be a selfie of those two girls or those three girls, but there’s no me and someone. It’s always everyone and I’ll be in the back.

    Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful for my friends, I’m grateful that I have friends I just wish they were grateful that they had me.

  • If You Play With Her I’ll Smack You!!!

    One mother has taken to Facebook to rant, her child Deon has previously had behaviour issues and struggled to control her anger. How would you react if a child was threatened not to play with your child?

    The mother said
    “BE ADULTS NOT A COWERED people seem to have a problem with their children playing with Deon.

     I have now been told on a number of occasions of adults threatening their child with physical abuse if they play with her, Deon has had anger issues in the past and she has learned to control her anger and her school would agree before they finished up that they had noticed a big improvement in her behaviour. She is a 7 Year old child that cowardly parents pick on and even sent a letter from angry parents all you are is cowards.

    I have now had a child crying scared to go home because she might get slapped for playing with Deon.

     I wont stop any child playing with my children even if they have had arguments in the past, they’re kids that’s what kids do and i will contact social workers for the children that are scared as this is not on growing adults picking on children I would approach the adults but I don’t know who they are. 

    Any issues with my children contact me don’t take it out on your child”.

    How would you react in this situation?

    Do you stop your child playing with anyone?

    If so please let us know in the comments section

  • Carers Do You Hear Me?

    When the chair is rocking slowly and the fading eye lids fall, when friends and family visits start to slow.It is my carer who I call.

    I’m sorry, I know you’re busy but please don’t rush me dear, my legs are very tired and I can’t help but fear.

    I press my buzzer, I call out, I shout, I wish you would come near, I know I’ve pressed it often but I am lonely here.

    I cannot make it to the toilet and you have to change my pad, I didn’t mean to make a mess, please talk to me with dignity and tell me what you’re doing, turn me slowly, don’t push and shove.

    When I’m laying in my bed and you are washing me, don’t talk to your colleague as if I’m not here, I like to hear about your children and to tell you about my life, I wasn’t always like this and I have so many stories running through my head.

    You work such long hours and your pay is very small, but I am very thankful for all you do , when you smile and joke with me, when you comfort and calm me, when you sit with me and hold my hand, when you remember I am a person who sometimes doesn’t understand.

  • Ectopic: I was mentally battered.

    My name is Clare and I’m 23. I have the most amazing 3.5 year old daughter, who I am starting to think was my absolutely miracle child and I will never have more.I am about to be married to a fantastic man named Stuart, who has two lovely children of his own.

    When Ella was around 7 months old, I’d been dating my current partner, who is not her biological father, for about a year. Considering we’d been through A Lot in the first year of our relationship, he was standing by me and going nowhere, and he absolutely adored my daughter like she was his own, and I love his children so much too, so we decided we wanted a baby of our own. This was in 2014. 
    After 2.5 years of trying, and getting nowhere even after tests due to that came back clear things just weren’t going our way. But then in September 2016 I decided to do a test, which came back positive. I think i did another 4/5 tests that day and all were clearly very positive, and for week afterwards they got stronger and stronger. I contacted my doctor, and due to irregular periods I was sent for an early scan. The day before the scan I began bleeding, brown blood, which when contacting EPU (early pregnancy unit) they told me unless it was red, don’t panic. At the scan they couldn’t see anything, so assumed it was probably just early so not to worry. Still weren’t concerned as the bleeding wasn’t red blood, only brown and my urine test came back positive. They took some of my blood, and later that day called me to tell me my bHCG levels were where they should be for early pregnancy, 48 hours later I went back for more blood tests, and later that day they called to say congratulations my levels had more than quadrupled so rest but enjoy my pregnancy and they booked in to see me in a week for another scan. 

    This is the day my entire life changed. My second scan was at 10.30am, obviously assuming all would be okay we had planned to go and see friends afterwards to share the good news. I actually had an interview beforehand, at the hospital as a HCA on the DAU (I didnt get it, i think the fact i was so nervous for my scan affected me).. But anyway, went from the interview to my scan. 
    My OH and daughter came with me, met me outside after my interview. During the scan, the sonographer was quiet didn’t say much. Again asked the usual, are you in any pain? No, I wasn’t. Should I be? She told me to get dressed we’d talk about what she’d seen, I said “It’s cool I know what’s coming” As she hadn’t showed me anything on the screen, and you could quite literally feel the awkward tension in the room. I knew I’d either miscarried or there was no baby.. I Never expected the news I actually got. The baby was growing in the wrong place, in my left fallopian tube. It was bleeding quite heavily and they needed to remove it. Now. I was having an Ectopic pregnancy.

    Within 45 minutes, I was admitted, signing forms, in a hospital gown on the ward being prepped for emergency surgery.

    I was crying, my daughter was crying and my OH looked totally broken, but needed to stay strong for our sake. How he did it i don’t know, but he was my rock that day. I’d totally have lost my mind there and then if he hadn’t have looked me in the eye, held my hands and told me we were going to be okay. I remember the bed being wheeled down towards the lifts, and watching them both getting further and further away, wondering if this would be the last time I ever saw the two of them. I cried the whole way down to theatre.

    It was the scariest experience of my life, waiting down in the surgical unit for “my turn”, everything was so white and sterile. I wasn’t even allowed to walk on the floor to go to the toilet because I had no shoes on, I had to be taken in a wheelchair into the toilet, and back out. The room they put me to sleep in was even scarier, it seemed so small and there were at least 5 or 6 people in there, asking me questions and prepping stuff. I remember one of them putting a mask over my face, and something into the cannula in my arm, and that was me out.

    The surgery took around 3 hours, I was then in recovery for around 2 hours because they struggled to wake me up from the anesthetic and wanted to keep an eye on me for an while. I went down to surgery at around 11.30am pregnant, I came back at around 5pm no longer pregnant and totally broken. 

    Now I was in pain, a lot of it. My OH left not long after I got back because he had Ella and neither of us wanted her to see me the way i was. I was totally out of it, and in realising where I was I was inconsolable, I just couldn’t stop crying.

    I was on and off awake crying all night and in so much pain they were giving me morphine through a drip. No one would tell me what had happened to me because I wasn’t able to understand right away, the medication I was on was too strong and I’d never have remembered what i was told, so they waited till the next morning when my OH came back. I just remember lying in the bed and lifting my gown up, seeing three bandage patches and freaking out thinking maybe they’d taken everything away, and when I asked the nurses didn’t know and just told me to rest until tomorrow.

    The next day, they explained to us that they had removed my fallopian tube completely. It was bleeding out at a fast rate and my womb had already began filling with blood, it was literally a few hours from bursting and potentially killing me. The reason the sonographer asked if i was in any pain, was because I should have been in a Lot of it. The baby(i will always call him my baby no matter what anyone says) growing in my tube was around 6 weeks old. I had 3 holes in my stomach and i was in a Lot of pain. All of my insides were swollen, and my bladder didn’t work properly for a while so I had a catheter in for a few days. I was in hospital for 3 days and signed off work for a month, but took more as I just couldn’t face people. I could barely stand for a week, I wasn’t able to care for my daughter for around 2 weeks alone. It was very hard. Luckily my OHs work were very understanding and he had two weeks off to help me.

    Physically, I recovered within around 5 weeks, I still had to take it easy but I was getting there. Mentally, my head was absolutely battered. We had tried so hard for this, it was all i wanted. What i Needed. It felt like a cruel joke. I couldn’t understand it. I didn’t know how to start again from this. It might have only been a reality for 3 weeks, but for those 3 weeks I was so happy and our future was planned. Slowly I started getting there. 
    Fast forward to April this year, I missed my period. I had a Strong feeling in my stomach something was different. Took and test and it was positive. We finally did it?! Called my doctor, who because of my ectopic pregnancy referred me for an early scan the next week, at what would be 5 weeks pregnant.

    At the scan, this time there was a sac there, but there was also blood around and inside it, so I was told to prepare for the worst. Took my blood, asked me to go back 48 hours later for more. Low and behold, I started bleeding the next day. Blood results came back, my bHCG levels had dropped. I was losing this baby too.
    April 27th would have been my due date for the ectopic baby. That was a very hard day for me, but due to a few close friends having their babies around these days too, I was able to keep myself occupied. But it didn’t stop it from hurting. Wondering why I wasn’t sat there with my newborn too.
    Right now, my head is fried. I suffer daily with panic attacks, anxiety attacks. I can’t think straight. I feel terrible. I don’t know how to cope with this. I don’t even know how to begin feeling normal again. I’m on tablets that, quite honestly, don’t help.

    I genuinely feel like I’m never going to be able to have another baby. It’s never going to happen. Everytime i get a shred of happiness it’s going to get ripped away.

    My doctor wants me to get counselling but I struggle to open up. I can talk about it, but I can’t openly discuss how I feel. Not really. There are no words to begin explaining.
    I live for my daughter now, she has always been my everything and always will be. Everyday I live and breathe for her. I could never imagine my world without her. She often talks about the baby in mummy’s tummy, and talks about her baby brother. She may never have fully understood what happened but she felt his presence, and still does I genuinely believe, feel the newborn baby that he should be today, around her. 
    One day, I hope our family will be complete, but for now, I live for her.
    But I know talking helps, and I’d love to be able to help others. So I want to put it out there that I am Always willing to help anyone else. Always willing to answer any messages with questions or advice about anything. Any time, I will always be available
    Clare Fisher