Tag: lonely

  • Maybe She’s A Bad Friend, Maybe It’s About Her

    Maybe she’s blowing you off. Maybe she’s a bad friend. Maybe she is keeping you in her back pocket for a rainy day. It’s entirely possible.

    Or maybe she’s busy. Maybe her plate is completely full. Maybe she’s coping the best way she knows how. Maybe she’s stressed. Maybe she’s maxed out. Maybe stuff isn’t going her way, and she’s saving her energy.

    Maybe she really did miss your text.

    Maybe she is overwhelmed with kids, family, and bills. Maybe she’s trying her best, but her best isn’t much right now. Maybe anxiety is getting in the way and rearing its ugly head, as it so often does.

    Maybe it has nothing to do with you at all.
    Maybe it’s about her.

    There are a million reasons she might be falling short. Maybe it really is that things have run their course. It’s a sad part of life, but it is, nonetheless, a part of life. Only you can make that call.

    But, then again, maybe it’s something else. Don’t forget to give the benefit of the doubt. Don’t forget to cut her some slack. Don’t forget to forgive. Don’t forget sometimes friendship means loving each other through the tough seasons, and the rainy weather, and all the ups and downs.

    May we hold each other in the good times and in the rough times even if that means giving space… I see you sister.

    To those I have been too busy for – I love you, I’m sorry.

    To those who have been distant from me – I love you, I understand.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/awomanssoul

  • I Just Feel So Sad Said Pooh

    Pooh woke up that morning, and, for reasons that he didn’t entirely understand, couldn’t stop the tears from coming. He sat there in bed, his little body shaking, and he cried, and cried, and cried.

    Amidst his sobs, the phone rang.

    It was Piglet.

    “Oh Piglet,” said Pooh, between sobs, in response to his friend’s gentle enquiry as to how he was doing. “I just feel so Sad. So, so, Sad, almost like I might not ever be happy again. And I know that I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I know there are so many people who have it worse off than me, and so I really have no right to be crying, with my lovely house, and my lovely garden, and the lovely woods all around me. But oh, Piglet: I am just SO Sad.”

    Piglet was silent for a while, as Pooh’s ragged sobbing filled the space between them. Then, as the sobs turned to gasps, he said, kindly: “You know, it isn’t a competition.”

    “What isn’t a competition?” asked a confused sounding Pooh.

    “Sadness. Fear. Grief,” said Piglet. “It’s a mistake we often make, all of us. To think that, because there are people who are worse off than us, that that somehow invalidates how we are feeling. But that simply isn’t true. You have as much right to feel unhappy as the next person; and, Pooh – and this is the really important bit – you also have just as much right to get the help that you need.”

    “Help? What help?” asked Pooh. “I don’t need help, Piglet.

    “Do I?”

    Pooh and Piglet talked for a long time, and Piglet suggested to Pooh some people that he might be able to call to talk to, because when you are feeling Sad, one of the most important things is not to let all of the Sad become trapped inside you, but instead to make sure that you have someone who can help you, who can talk through with you how the Sad is making you feeling, and some of the things that might be able to be done to support you with that.

    What’s more, Piglet reminded Pooh that this support is there for absolutely everyone, that there isn’t a minimum level of Sad that you have to be feeling before you qualify to speak to someone.

    Finally, Piglet asked Pooh to open his window and look up at the sky, and Pooh did so.

    “You see that sky?” Piglet asked his friend. “Do you see the blues and the golds and that big fluffy cloud that looks like a sheep eating a carrot?”

    Pooh looked, and he could indeed see the blues and the golds and the big fluffy cloud that looked like a sheep eating a carrot.

    “You and I,” continued Piglet, “we are both under that same sky. And so, whenever the Sad comes, I want you to look up at that sky, and know that, however far apart we might be physically…we are also, at the same time, together. Perhaps, more together than we have ever been before.”

    “Do you think this will ever end?” asked Pooh in a small voice.

    “This too shall pass,” confirmed Piglet. “And I promise you, one day, you and I shall once again sit together, close enough to touch, sharing a little smackerel of something…under that blue gold sky.”

    www.samaritans.org


    credit : www.instagram.com/iknowineedtostoptalkingblog

  • The Harsh Truth Of Having Nobody

    The harsh truth of having nobody.
    Please be kind and support all your friends and family as much as you can, you never know what they’re facing. Don’t just ask mums how there kids are, ask the mum how she is, ask her if she is coping and talk to her even if she says she is, make her aware you are there and will be if she ever decides she isn’t coping.

    This letter was written by a woman who took her life

    To my precious friends and family

    Please just know I love you all so much but I can’t do it anymore, I can’t keep up the pretence, I cant take 1 more night of crying myself to sleep, my face hurts, my head hurts, my eyes are raw, I’m so tired

    I keep seeing all the posts over social media of happy families having fun supporting each other then there is me sat here with no one, yes I have my children but as selfish as it sounds I’m desperate for a break, not from them but this routine, their dad doesn’t want to know, my parents only being able to come as close as the gate, I feel so alone, we can’t even go for a walk because we’re in shielding, I feel like a prisoner

    I started off like everyone else, up washed dressed, 3 meals a day, school work done in the morning, fun activities in the afternoon and settle down with a movie at night, kids in bed, quickly tidy and fall asleep again for the next day, do you know what my routine is now, this will probably anger a lot of you but rest assured as I’m typing this the guilt is eating away at me, the tears are streaming and I wish that this wasn’t my reality but it is, I now awake around 11 and noon after not being able to sleep all night, fantasing about sneaking out and abandoning the kids, how to kill myself, do I take the kids too or do i let them live on with out me and find me in the morning, at this point the kids have been up on their own, messed up the house which I can’t face sorting, either not eaten or helped themselves to anything, around 3pm I can finally move, still can’t motivate myself to do anything productive, just sit on social media torturing myself watching and wondering how people are managing to do the things they are doing, wishing I could just get up washed and dressed.

    Well it’s now 3:30am this is my 5th night of this and I can’t take it any longer, this is the only productive thing I’ve done for a while

    I’ve packed all the kids things up, their clothes, paper work and their favourite things, I’ve wrote them all a letter saying I love them and how sorry I am

    The key is under the doormat please who ever gets this first come and get the children before they wake around 8am, don’t go into my room just ring the police, you dont need to have that last memory of me

    I’m so sorry, love you all please forgive me

    This was a couple of days ago, she hung herself

    Our family have requested to stay anonymous so please share this as such but they beg you to get the word out if anyone is feeling anything like this or can relate in anyway please speak up

    They want this letter to go viral, if it saves just one person’s life please spread it far and wide

  • The Loneliness Creeps In

    Say bye to my husband as he goes out to work. Take the eldest to school. Just me and the 2 year old again. Alone.

    What shall we do today? All alone.

    Farm? Soft play? The park? Just us. I wonder if anyone fancies a brew?! But who is there to call?

    I’ll just do some jobs, have a brew. What time is it? Shall we head out and get back for dinner? Where shall we go? Just us.

    The loneliness creeps in. Should I ring my husband? No he’s busy at work, I mustn’t disturb him. Who shall I message?

    I’ll just scroll Facebook and maybe the gram. See if anyone’s about.

    Should I message that mum from school? No she’ll be busy. You only know her to chat to, will she even want a brew?

    We play some games. Read a book. Shall we watch some telly? I’ll just scroll Facebook again… get some contact with the world. Something other than these 4 walls.

    Now it’s dinner time. Maybe someone will be around after school?

    Hi are you in this aft? x

    No sorry.

    Ok x

    Why what’s up?

    Nothing (not strictly true), was just seeing if you were free for a brew. x

    No I’m not sorry.

    Hi what you up2?

    Just in town.

    Ahh ok.

    Why?

    Just seeing if you were in and fancied a brew.

    Are you home?

    No I’m at work.

    It’s just me, the toddler and these 4 walls today. There’s always tomorrow.

    No-one messages, maybe it’s me. Maybe no-one wants to meet us. It’s ok. I’m ok. No adult company today. The loneliness is creeping in.

    We pick the eldest up from school. If I’m lucky there might be a parent about for a chat. Only I can’t hold a full conversation as the youngest is clinging off me, running about. I need to keep my eye on her.

    We go home and there’s now 2 little voices to contend with.

    By the time my husband gets home from work, we’re eating tea. He joins us. We chat about nothing much. I’m exhausted.

    Exhausted from being lonely.

    There’s always tomorrow for some company.

    The days blur. The loneliness sinks in. So much so that even after you’ve had company, you still feel lonely.

    You stop asking if people are free. You stick to the 4 walls, your kids and your brew.

    It’s the loneliness that numbs my brain. Does it numb anyone else’s? No conversations to make me think, to make my brain whir.

    I forget how to interact with people. I can’t make new friends. The ones I’ve got don’t have time to meet up, why would anybody new? It’s ok. I’m ok.

    The loneliness sinks deeper into my skin.

    There’s always tomorrow.

  • To The Girl Who Moved Away From Her Family

    To the girl who moved away from her family…

    Some days you feel independent and loved and other days you feel forgotten and confused!

    Nobody said it would be emotionally and physically hard on you, but nobody said it was easy!

    These times help us grow into strong woman, but the process can come in waves!

    .

    The phone calls, texts, Facebook posts, and FaceTiming can only do so much on the days you need advice, you need a hug, or you just need someone to vent to. You feel like you start to forget their voices, and they’re living happily without you

    .

    All the birthdays, and holidays you miss, and their fun family photos to follow that you aren’t in, and some days you wish you could drop everything and go back. You wish you could just fly home, you wish you could hug your dad, mom, sister, all family. You wish your dad would lecture you one more time, you and your mom could go get coffee and talk, your sister would have a sleepover with you and you were just present..

    .

    But the hard thing about all of this, is there is no going back. You are here to grow, you are here to provide for your family now, you are here to remember all the family moments and cherish them as much as you can, and never take any moment for granted when you see them next.

    .

    Some days I’m in my bathroom breaking down, and some days I miss my families calls cause I’m so busy enjoying life. It comes in waves but when it hits just remember:

    they didn’t leave you, they’ll always be there &

    It’s okay to miss home, it misses you

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/aylynmhenry

     

  • Here We Go Again With All The Twin Questions

    I took the twins to WalMart today for our weekly grocery shopping. An older woman approached me in the cereal aisle, and I instantly sighed in annoyance because I knew the “typical twin questions” were about to start pouring out of her mouth. When I go out in public, I always plan for an additional 20 minutes just for answering questions about twins, and frankly it’s become tedious.

    She neared my cart and stopped. “Here we go again” I thought. She asked all the typical things, told me how sweet they were, and continued to babble on with the boys.

    I was antsy, and just ready to go. I turned to look down the aisle hoping she would take the hint that I was ready to leave, and as I did she put her hand on top of mine that was resting on the cart. “I know you probably hate this and I’m sorry to take up so much of your time. You see, I lost my only grandchild last year, and about the only time I see kids his age is when I do my grocery shopping” she said.

    Suddenly, time didn’t matter. “Well we are about to go look at the fish, you wanna follow us over there and watch them play for a bit?” Her eyes lit up; “I would love that.” We went over and I got the boys out. She spent about 15 minutes watching them bounce around and scream out “FISHY FISHY FISHY” when finally she looked over to me and said “you don’t know what I would give to be able to hear my grandson laugh one last time.” I couldn’t find any words, so I stood in silence grieving for her.

    “May I hug your boys?” I nodded. “Thank you so much for giving me your time, I know your hands are full” she said. “No really, it was my pleasure.” She bent down to hug Darrio, my not as friendly twin, and he reached his arms out and said “LUH YOU!!” She hugged Dheigo and then hugged me, and said “I love all 3 of you too” and headed toward the check out.

    Do you know what my point is? My point is how quickly my attitude changed once I connected with her as another human being with feelings.

    That woman taking too long in the drop off line in the morning? What if her child has to go to his dads for the weekend and she wont get another hug for 3 long days.

    The man driving slow when your in a rush to work? What if hes going slow because he knows he is going to be laid off and is worried about his future.

    That annoying little kid down the road who always bangs on your door? What if he doesnt get attention at home and just wants a friend.

    It made me wonder; how much nicer would we all be if we knew one anothers struggles?

    Raise damn good humans.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/landrababy

     

  • I’m The Mum Who Sits Alone At Play Places

    I’m the mom who sits alone at play places, but doesn’t want to. But anxiety makes me that way.

    I’m the mom who won’t come up and talk to you first at our kids school, because my brain has convinced me that you don’t want to hear from me.

    I’m the mom that sits by myself while my kids play at play places, listening to other moms talk. Agreeing with what they’re saying, even wanting to join in on the conversation. But I won’t. Because my brain tells me you don’t want me to. Or what I would say, would be weird to you.

    I’m the mom who when my child asks me to talk to their friends mom at school, so they can have a play date, I will make excuses as to why I can’t.

    I’m the mom who want to go out more way more with my four year old, but my fear of him having a tantrum that I can’t control, takes over.

    I’m the mom who wants to be the PAC mom at school, who is friends with all the other moms. But I can barely muster up a “hello good morning!” to you.

    I’m the mom who wants to volunteer in my kids class for hot lunch day, for field trips, and all that fun stuff. But my mind reminds me about the room full of strangers I would have to introduce myself to.

    I’m the mom who’s trying.

    I’m the mom with anxiety.

    Follow me, the anxious momma, on instagram 🤣 https://www.facebook.com/caitlin.fladager

     

  • I’m Ok, It’s Ok, No Adult Company Again Today

    Say bye to my husband as he goes out to work. Take the eldest to school. Just me and the 2 year old again. Alone.

    What shall we do today? All alone.

    Farm? Soft play? The park? Just us. I wonder if anyone fancies a brew?! But who is there to call?

    I’ll just do some jobs, have a brew. What time is it? Shall we head out and get back for dinner? Where shall we go? Just us.

    The loneliness creeps in. Should I ring my husband? No he’s busy at work, I mustn’t disturb him. Who shall I message?

    I’ll just scroll Facebook and maybe the gram. See if anyone’s about.

    Should I message that mum from school? No she’ll be busy. You only know her to chat to, will she even want a brew?

    We play some games. Read a book. Shall we watch some telly? I’ll just scroll Facebook again… get some contact with the world. Something other than these 4 walls.

    Now it’s dinner time. Maybe someone will be around after school?

    Hi are you in this aft? x

    No sorry.

    Ok x

    Why what’s up?

    Nothing (not strictly true), was just seeing if you were free for a brew. x

    No I’m not sorry.

    Hi what you up2?

    Just in town.

    Ahh ok.

    Why?

    Just seeing if you were in and fancied a brew.

    Are you home?

    No I’m at work.

    It’s just me, the toddler and these 4 walls today. There’s always tomorrow.

    No-one messages, maybe it’s me. Maybe no-one wants to meet us. It’s ok. I’m ok. No adult company today. The loneliness is creeping in.

    We pick the eldest up from school. If I’m lucky there might be a parent about for a chat. Only I can’t hold a full conversation as the youngest is clinging off me, running about. I need to keep my eye on her.

    We go home and there’s now 2 little voices to contend with.

    By the time my husband gets home from work, we’re eating tea. He joins us. We chat about nothing much. I’m exhausted.

    Exhausted from being lonely.

    There’s always tomorrow for some company.

    The days blur. The loneliness sinks in. So much so that even after you’ve had company, you still feel lonely.

    You stop asking if people are free. You stick to the 4 walls, your kids and your brew.

    It’s the loneliness that numbs my brain. Does it numb anyone else’s? No conversations to make me think, to make my brain whir.

    I forget how to interact with people. I can’t make new friends. The ones I’ve got don’t have time to meet up, why would anybody new? It’s ok. I’m ok.

    The loneliness sinks deeper into my skin.

    There’s always tomorrow.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/thenonperfectparentsclub/

  • Stay At Home Mum Depression Is Something We Need To Talk About

    Stay at home mum (SAHM) depression… the elephant in the room nobody talks about. I mean, how dare you complain after being gifted this opportunity to stay at home and raise your own kids?

    But it’s not that simple: of course we SAHM’s are grateful to stay home and raise our young but that it’s literally all we become.

    No one talks about the isolation. No one talks about the loss of identity. No one talks about the loneliness. No one talks about losing your sense of self. No one talks about how you had to give up your career because it’s cheaper for you to stay home.

    No one talks about how you cry in the shower because your day was overwhelming. No one understands why you’re tired. No one understands why you’re irritable. No one understands why you need a mental break. No one understands why you’re so aggravated with your kids.

    No one understands why after you’ve been home all day, the house is a wreck still. No one understands why you just need 5 minutes with no one speaking to or touching you. No one understands why you’ve lost your sex drive. No one understands why you’re completely and utterly exhausted, after all, you just sit at home all day.

    No one understands the feeling you have when you are told you don’t have a “real job.”

    Most of us were working women at one point. We got to go to a job and interact with other adults outside our home. We contributed financially to our household. (Shoot, most of us want some kind of side hustle or part-time job because it would sure help with financial relief.)

    We didn’t feel like an endless maid. We got that break away (even though yes, work is a love/ hate relationship) that gives you space from the people you live with (children, spouse, etc.) because yes, every relationship needs time away in it to not go crazy being around each other 24/7. That’s not healthy. Contrary to popular belief – you need a break daily.

    I can’t tell you how many women I meet or know that say “oh, you have too much time on your hands,” I sure wish I could stay home, I wouldn’t complain.”

    Good for you!

    I can guarantee you will change your mind 6 months in, unless you’re wealthy and have money to constantly go do things. I once was you. I wished upon a star I could stay home with my kids because I wanted to spend all the time I could. I didn’t realise what all came with being a SAHM.

    Oh but you chose to have those kids. You should’ve thought about that before having them. If you didn’t want to go through all this you should’ve never had kids. And you said you want more?

    Seriously… Heard those all before.

    Next time you hear or see a SAHM venting her frustrations, listen and make her feel like she’s somebody. That her struggles are not invalid.

    Thanks Momma’s Tired for shedding light on depression and voicing the challenges many mums face. For being honest because for many, this is a typical week.

    Check out Momm’s tired on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/themommastired/

  • Sad Times, I’ve Filled In My Childs School Application

    Sad times! I’ve finally filled out my littlest one’s school application.

    I left it as long as possible as I was totally putting it off. For lots of reasons, I am going to miss having the babe with me every day, I am going to miss the snuggles at a moments notice, I am worried that as my final baby goes to school I am on the path to old age and eventual death and decay.

    My mind is running out of control, what will I do with myself, what if this is what finally sends me over edge just wondering around lost all day (in between my work obviously). It’s making me feel very sad even though I know it’s so stupid to think this way. Haven’t I said to so many people so many times parenting is the longest game you’ll ever play. Usually adding with a grimace, ‘and it never ends and you don’t ever WIN’

    You do WIN most days though, even if it’s just for a second. You snatch all those winning moments and block out the bad ones (eventually!) 😂😂 and how we laugh about it!! 😱😂😂😂

     

    I am very ponderous today and a bit stroppy too, but please forgive me whilst I move through this and try to hold myself x

    Being a mum means lettng go, I know people say that kids grow up so fast but I am not ready for it to fly by in the blink of an eye.

    Treasure the little moments, read another story, snuggle under the blankets, before you know it they will be starting school, then secondary school, college, maybe university and moving out and starting their own families