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Tag: baby

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  • Daddy’s Asleep So From Midnight It’s Just You And I

    “Daddy’s Asleep”

    I love your daddy, I really do,

    After all, without daddy, I wouldn’t have you.

    So from midnight till sunrise, it’s just you and I.

    And as each hour passes, I’m not gonna lie:

    Mommy’s love slowly fades, becomes angry and weak,

    Because no matter what, your dad is f***ing asleep!

    It all starts out lovely. We kiss each other goodnight.

    We look lovingly down at you dear, such a beautiful sight.

    An hour later, mommy wakes with a start.

    You’re twisting and turning, you’re starting to fart.

    You’re gesturing for food. Mommy is there

    with a bottle or breast

    Daddy is snoring away, the way he knows best.

    Mommy burps you, and holds you and rocks you with care.

    You spew foul smelling yogurt on mommy’s freshly washed hair.

    As mommy changes her shirt, and mops vomit off the floor.

    Your daddy farts, rolls over and continues to snore.

    Mommy’s maternal alarm goes off, it’s not even three!

    You’re stirring again, you’re hungry and staring at me!

    “I think she is hungry” your daddy offers, pulls duvet over his head,

    Mommy sends him a death stare and rolls out of bed.

    Mommy comes back, tired and drained and what is this I see?

    Your daddy has taken over my side, doesn’t give a f*** about me!

    Mommy kicks him and pushes him angrily away.

    “What’s up love?” He moans in a lovingly way.

    Your daddy has no clue he is under attack.

    He wraps his arms around me and kisses my back.

    And just as my love for daddy is back on the rise,

    You start to coo in your crib and open your eyes.

    And daddy gently nudges me to attend to your need.

    I give him the finger as I prepare for a feed.

    But as the sun starts rising, the slate is wiped clear.

    I’m back to full love for your daddy and for you my dear.

    I forget that daddy sleeps while you cry and you poo.

    It’s back to kissing and hugging and doting on you.

    Soon you’ll grow up and be daddy’s little girl.

    You’ll not remember me cleaning up shit and vomit hurl.

    Whilst you sit on his lap and he sings you a song,

    You’ll love him and think daddy could do nothing wrong.

    But my sweet love, here is a poem for you to keep,

    So you know that all those long nights, dad was f***ing asleep!

    Credit Caroline Andersen

  • How To Choose The Right Baby Carrier For You-Expert Advice

    How to choose the right baby carrier for you

     

    With SO many options out there, it can be a bit overwhelming when you’re looking at baby carriers and slings (plus what if baby doesn’t even like it?!)

    Roamy Hunt is one of the UK’s most experienced Babywearing Consultants and has come along to answer some of the most frequently asked questions about using baby carriers, wraps and slings:

     

    1. How do I choose which carrier is likely to be right for me?

     

    There’s lots of ways to find out information!

    If you have a local sling library, you can go along and try out some different options there.  Most allow you to try a few on and then hire your preferred carrier for a few weeks, to see how you get on with it. 


    If you don’t have a Sling Library locally, I have over 50 instructional videos on the South East Slings YouTube Channel.  These cover all the main types and brands of baby carrier, with playlists for things like ‘newborn carriers’, ‘buckle carriers’ and all the different carrying positions.  These videos can be really helpful in seeing how a carrier does up and tightens. Things to think about while watching them:

     

    Are you someone who has good mobility or are your arm movements more restricted?  


    Do you love gadgets and the more settings and options the carrier has, the better?  

     

    Are you looking for something lightweight that will take you off on holiday to sunnier climes?

     

    Think about all the things that matter to you in a carrier – how you’re hoping to use it, who else will be using it – and think about these while watching the videos.  This will really help to narrow it down. 

     

    South East Slings then offers its awesome try-before-you-buy scheme where you get 2 weeks to use the carrier you’ve bought as much as you like, to ensure it’s right for you.  If you like it, you keep it.  If for any reason it’s not for you, you can return it within the first 2 weeks for a refund of the purchase price, minus the 2-week hire fee of £15.

     

     

    2. Should I get a carrier before baby arrives or wait until they’re here?

     

    It really depends what sort of carrier you’re looking to get.  With a stretchy wrap, many people like to purchase this while pregnant.  This means they can practice putting it on before baby arrives, so – once baby is here – they’re confident in how to use it.  Then it’s just a case of popping baby in.  Stretchy wraps fit all shapes and sizes of wearer and work from newborn – including if Mum has had a C-Section – so they can be a fantastic choice to have ready for once baby is here.

     

    If you’re looking at buckles and would like to get one before baby arrives, look for ones that are relatively unstructured; that do up around the waist rather than sitting on the hips.  The less structured a carrier is, the more it will mould to the wearer – regardless of their body shape or size.  Look out for how it can be made smaller to fit from newborn, if it’s important to you that it fits from day one.

     

    If you’re looking at a more structured buckle carrier – especially if it has a padded waist – it can be useful to wait until baby is here.  Firstly, so you can try it on properly (carriers with structured waists can’t easily be tried on over a bump).  Secondly, not all buckle carriers will work from day one.  It will depend on baby’s weight (and how long their torso is) as to whether the carrier will fit safely from newborn.  You want to ensure that baby has clear airways and is held as tightly as holding them in your arms, to ensure they can’t slump.  

    If you have a C-section, this will also affect which carriers are likely to work well from newborn, as you don’t want pressure on the scar area until it’s fully healed.  

     

     

    3. My best friend has a <insert brand of carrier>.  She loves it so that must be the right one for me too, right?

     

    Not necessarily.  Choosing a baby carrier is like choosing jeans or shoes.  The more structured and shaped the carrier is, the more the fit will depend on your own body shape.  

     

    Trying a selection at a local Sling Library can be a great way to find out if a carrier is right for you.  

     

    If you don’t have a Sling Library nearby, South East Slings’ try-before-you-buy scheme means you get 2 weeks to use the carrier you’ve bought as much as you like, to ensure it’s right for you.  If you like it, you keep it. If for any reason it’s not for you, you can return it within the first 2 weeks for a refund of the purchase price, minus the 2-week hire fee of £15.

     

     

    4. What if my baby doesn’t like the carrier?

     

    It’s very, very unusual for a baby not to ‘like’ being in a carrier.  A well fitting sling or baby carrier mimics in-arms carrying.  On the whole, babies want to be held close and cuddled.  If a baby seems unsettled in their carrier, first of all check they’ve not just filled their nappy, they’re not hungry and they’re not in that ‘I really need to sleep but I can’t figure out how’ unsettled stage just before they fall asleep. 

     

    If you can rule those out have a look at how tight the carrier is:

    Is baby held as tightly as if you were holding them in your arms?  

    An easy way to check this is to put your arms around them as if you were carrying them.  

    Do you feel you need to lift them up/pull them in closer?  

    If you do, it’s likely your carrier needs to be tighter.  If baby is held too loosely they won’t feel secure and are therefore likely to protest.

     

    Also check baby’s positioning.  Are they curled up in the position they naturally adopt when carried in arms or are they straightened out?  Giving a gentle tuck to their pelvis, to bringtheir knees above their bottom – with a gentle curve to their spine, so they’re in more of seated position – can really help to reduce any pressure on a full tummy, and so baby is supported in a comfortable, ergonomic position.

     

    5. What if I’d like more help?

     

    If you’re at all unsure about using your baby carrier, or would like more in depth help with choosing the right one for you, there are Babywearing Consultants around the UK.  If you don’t have one locally, I offer Consultations online – via Skype or Facetime – so feel free to get in touch if you’d like some in-person assistance.

     

     

    Roamy Hunt – Babywearing Consultant
    Empowering people to carry their babies safely, comfortably and confidently since 2011


    www.roamyhuntconsultancy.co.uk – Consultations, Workshops and Training

    www.southeastslings.co.uk – Retail, Hires and Try-Before-You-Buy

     

    Facebook: @southeastslings @roamyhuntconsultancy

    Instagram: @roamyhuntconsultancy @seastslings

    YouTube: @southeastslings

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  • Everyone Warned Me That Cuddling My Baby Will Result In A Clingy Teenager

    ‘I’ve been rocking and cuddling my baby to sleep since that day he was born. I mentioned this to a nurse at my clinic recently. She said that she did the same thing with her son, and everyone warned her that she would still have a teenager sleeping in her bed. And then she told me that, a few weeks ago, her teenage son came home from school very upset.

    He didn’t want to talk, and just went to his room and listened to his music, typed on his phone and cried. The mother gave her son space, and night time came and she went to bed. Just as she was about to turn off her side light, the door opened, and her 15 year old padded into the room.

    He climbed into the bed with her, laid his head on her shoulder and cried. He told her all about the girl that broke his heart, all about the friends who laughed, all about the stresses of being him. She told him about her first broken heart, about friends who’d been cruel, and told him she understands. They talked in the dark for hours, until he fell asleep in her bed. Still sad but relieved after their talk.

    ‘So you see’ she said to me, when she finished the story. ‘I was so scared that I wound wind up with a teenager who would ‘need me’ at night, that I never stopped to consider how beautiful that would really be.’

    Above story by the beautiful L.R.Knost – Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources

    When we stop listening to the unnecessary noise around us, we begin to tune in to who is right in front of us.

    Image by Angelickpicture https://www.instagram.com/angelickpicture/

  • When Your Baby Isn’t Your Baby Anymore

    One more cuddle please

    One more kiss

    One more story

    One more goodnight mummy

    Just one more please mummy so I can sleep.

    I love you

    I’m scared

    I’m not tired

    I don’t want you to go

    Can I have five more minutes please mummy

    I don’t mean to annoy you

    I know you’re tired

    I know you have lots to do

    I missed you

    Look what I can do mummy, look how high I bounce

    I can’t find my bear

    My night light won’t work

    Where have you gone mummy

    I don’t want to be alone

    Whether your my baby or a grown man, I will never refuse your request for more time.

    No matter what you say to ask me to stay, you will never have to beg my darling.

    You are my world, and I will always have the time to give you. I treasure every memory we have of these moments.

    You won’t always want a cuddle

    You won’t always want a kiss

    You will grow too old for stories

    You won’t want me to say goodnight

    Please don’t grow so fast my baby

    Although you will always love me

    You won’t need me to fight the monsters

    You won’t always be wide awake

    You will beg some days for me to leave

    Please can I have a few more years

    You will be embarrassed of me

    You won’t always be home at night

    You will have your own life to live

    You won’t always miss me

    You are amazing my baby, and will grow to do incredible things and though you might get older, things will never change.

    I will always find your toys

    I will always make the lights and stars work

    I will always be here even when your grown

    🖤 You will never be alone 🖤

    https://www.facebook.com/Justamommaneedingcoffee/

  • Things Post Baby That No One Talks About

    T H I N G S P O S T B A B Y

    After just turning 22 when I had my first baby I had no idea about what women go through “after birth” but I wish someone would have told me what happens when you’ve just had a human… so without being to descriptive I am happy to help a sister out + say what no one else is willing to say

    •Maternity Pads (aka surf boards) are totally uncomfortable but totally necessary because after those nine months that you didn’t have a period (which at the time was brilliant) its like someone finally opened the flood gates, especially in those first few postpartum days.

    •downstairs will be sore especially if you tore or had an episiotomy from one end to the other like yours truly but ask for ice (yes ice downstairs) trust me it makes it bearable until it is bearable!!!

    • The after pains. When your stretched uterus starts to shrink down. It’s Pain. Who knew? I didn’t & it wasn’t until I had my second that I became aware of these bad boys + for me it got worse with each baby.

    • Your first wee. OMG. You will feel scared as shi% but it’s not as scary as the first poo + don’t worry your bits will still be able to do its job.

    • The first poo. The nurses will ask if you have had a bowel movement + you will feel the pressure maybe even get stage fright but mostly I mean you will be so scared but don’t panic. You are not having another baby. It just feels that way. But just remember you pushed out a human and the prospect of pushing out what’s in the back bit won’t be quite so daunting. Your bum is not falling out. Or it might be. If you have piles. Which you probably do… while on the topic of poo it could be the opposite, constipation after birth, it really happens + chances are it will happen to you but don’t be embarrassed happens to most women for many reasons but Try to eat high-fibre foods, especially fruit + drink plenty of fluids

    • If you have a c-section + that first time you have to stand up, It’s like your insides are going to feel like they are going to fall out. That first time standing can be brutal & even leave you feeling nauseous but I promise it does get better and your insides won’t fall out!!!.

    Oh + just a side note if you don’t have high underwear (aka granny undies) get some so you have them higher than your scar!!!

    •Your first shower will be like heaven. You will feel human again. Normal again. I know this sounds slightly dramatic but it’s the truth!

    • You will say the words ” Breast is Best” and be asked a billion time “Are you breastfeeding?” but just remember “fed is best” + do what makes you feel comfortable, what’s best for you & your baby.

    • The hospital food sucks. Yep that’s it. No more of a description needed then that.

    • Your once hard round beautiful belly will now more than likely resembles more a balloon that’s slowly deflating and you will be left feeling like your still 5 months pregnant.

    * Day 2 or 3 (well that’s when it was for me) your hormones will be raging, your emotions will be at an all time high & you will just cry, cry because your happy, cry because your overwhelmed, cry because you feel guilty, because you’re missing your other babies at home… but you will settle & if you don’t then please speak to your health care professional.

    So beautiful Mumma’s our parting words are don’t stress and worry, you’re not going to know everything and every baby is different also note to self; There is no such thing as normal, and there is no such thing as “the right way”. You are your baby’s normal. You are your baby’s right way. They aren’t judging you. They are completely reliant on you and being responsible for another human being is not a piece of cake. It’s a piece of ‘oh my god I can’t do this’. You can. And everyday will get easier. You will find your groove. Breath mummy. You just grew and pushed out. So be gentle with yourself.

    Full credit goes to:

    https://www.facebook.com/bumpbabyandcoau/

  • I’m The Lady With The Baby In Heaven

    I’m the lady with the baby in heaven

    I am the lady whose baby died. One day my baby was living and the next day she was gone. That is what happened. It doesn’t offend me if you acknowledge this. It’s actually nice someone takes an interest.

    It offends me when you don’t.

    You see, I know that my baby died. I will not forget this. So, when you whisper about it like it’s a secret that feels shameful. It makes me feel like you’re embarrassed for me. I’m not embarrassed about my baby and I’m not embarrassed that she died. I’m sad and heartbroken that she died. It’s different.

    I am allowed to be sad that my baby died. Please stop trying to cheer me up. When you respond by trying to cheer me up, it feels dismissive. Being supportive does not mean making me happy, it means sticking around even when I’m not. When you honor my emotions, you honor my child.

    When I say my daughter’s name and you not-so-subtly change the subject, you are not doing so to “protect me.” You are avoiding the subject of my child because you are uncomfortable. If you were talking about your own loved one and I stopped meeting your gaze or frantically switched topics, you would be upset with me. Same.

    My baby is not an awkward topic. She is a person. She is my daughter. I am not awkward about that, so why are you?

    Please understand, I believe that when you do these things it is with the best intentions, but I need you to know that your intentions have a painful impact. So, while you get to stroll away with your good intentions, I am left with the hurtful impact you left behind.

    I may be the lady whose baby died but you can still talk to me like you did when I was the lady who was going to have a baby. You can still say her name and let me know that you care about her. You can still ask me how I’m doing and wait around to hear my answer.

    Please don’t ignore my truth, especially when I am so strongly committed to sharing it. I have not made my baby’s death a secret, so I don’t need your help in hiding hee. That’s where the struggle comes from. I have to keep talking about her and saying her name because she can’t. I can’t stop because then she will disappear.

    I know you want to change what happened to me. But, you can’t. I will always be the lady whose baby died. I will always be the woman who is living without her child. I am okay talking about that. Are you?

  • Mama I Love You, Could You Wake Up For A Min

    Dear mama,

    Could you wake up for a minute? I know it’s hard for you to open your eyes – we haven’t slept a lot yet tonight. But mama, I kinda need you right now. You see, the thing is, I feel a bit lonely at the moment. I’m laying here in my crib and I’m somewhat cold.

    I didn’t mean to cry so I’m sorry I did. I’ve been trying to get your attention by making some noises for a while now but you were in such a deep sleep, you couldn’t hear me. I don’t know how else to get your attention. During the day, I see and hear you all make noises and I see you respond well to each other. You talk to me like that too. And I try very hard but I don’t know how to do that yet. So I cry so you’d listen to me.

    Mama, I’m sorry for crying. Like I said, I feel a bit lonely. I just spent nine months inside your belly where I’ve always felt safe. It’s a bit scary to me to be in such a big bed all by myself. I miss your heartbeat, the rushing of your blood, the warmth and the food.I miss your breathing and your hands you put over me to protect me when I still was inside your belly.

    So mama, would you please listen to me? I’m calling for you in the only way I’m able to. I feel really alone. I need your warmth and your peace for a moment. I need to know for sure you’re still here. So can I come lay with you for a little while to feel your warmth?

    Some cuddles first. Mama, this feels so nice. When I feel you holding me while you gently rock me and when I can smell and feel you, I feel so safe. I can feel your hand on my back and my ear is placed just right on your heart. Mom, this is home to me. Do you remember back when we were always together? I always felt like this back then. Sometimes I miss that time. It was so nice to be close to you.

    I hear you softly whisper into my ear “Everything is okay little one, everything is fine”. Your voice is so soft and familiar. You smell good mom. A bit like me and a bit like you.

    Mama, will you hold me just a little longer? I’m really tired and I feel so relaxed in your arms. It almost feels like before. I’m going to close my eyes for a little while, okay? Can I please stay with you here a little longer to enjoy your love and your presence?

    And can I drink some more? Mama, since we’re laying like this anyway…I’d like to ask you something. I know, it sounds pretty sad because I can’t talk like you can yet so I’m sorry for crying again. But mama, can I please drink some more? My throat is dry and my tummy is empty and since we’re here anyway…maybe I can have a few more sips? Your milk tastes delicious and is so warm and familiar.

    Thanks mom, that’s exactly what I needed. I was really really thirsty. Your finger on my cheek feels great by the way. And you’re smiling at me. Nothing makes me happier than seeing your smile and feeling your presence. I’ll close my eyes again, okay? Please don’t put me away straight away, I really enjoy falling asleep here. This feels really good. Can I stay with you for another hour or so?

    My tummy hurts. What is that?! Mama! Can you feel this? Mom? My tummy hurts so bad. What is happening? Please help me mama, I don’t know what’s happening. I’ve never felt anything like this.

    Thank you for rubbing my belly mom. It’s late and everyone is asleep. I’m so happy you’re here for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you mama. My tummy already hurts less and when you hold me like that…I feel pretty tired. Maybe I’ll close my eyes again. Please hold me a little longer?

    Can I have more cuddles? You won’t believe this mama! I’m a bit scared. I just woke up and I didn’t know where I was for a second. It was all dark and a little cold again. I know you’re tired mama. But I really missed you, can I please be with you again for a while?

    Mama, I can see that you’re tired. There are tears in your eyes and every now and then a tear rolls down your cheek. I’m sorry mama but I feel really strange in this new world. I miss home. I miss always being close to you.

    Sometimes I feel a tear fall on my head while you gently rock me. You’re singing me a song so that I can go back to sleep. You softly dry the tears that fell on my head with your hand. That feels nice mom, do that again?

    I fall asleep on your chest. You feel so soft, so familiar. There’s nowhere I sleep better than here. My legs are pulled up, just like they were back when I still lived with you. I can hear your heartbeat again and I move along with your breathing.

    I will learn soon. Mama, you’re the best place to be. I’m so glad I get to come to you over and over again. I don’t like being unable to just ask either but I’m really happy you listen to me when I call for you.

    Soon, I’ll be able to be there for you. Or for my brothers or sisters. Or for my friends in school. You’re teaching me how to take care of someone. You’re teaching me that you listen, even when I can’t ask. You’re teaching me I’m safe, even when sometimes it feels like I’m not. You’re teaching me that you love me, even when you’re very tired. Thank you.

    And mama, I love you.

    {author unknown}

    😍😍😍😭😭😭