Tag: baby
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Social Service Baby Snatching Is A Myth-Read My Story
I’ve seen many many posts recently about social services baby snatching etc. And I want to share my experience as mum whose child was removed.
When my son was 11 months old, he was removed from my care by social services. He wasn’t snatched, he wasn’t stolen. Though I spent years believing he was. It’s only been the last two or three years I’ve seen things clear enough to be able to accept blame for my own actions.
When ‘James’ was born, I developed, rapidly, post natal depression. But, listening to horror stories about how SS took babies, I didn’t tell anyone. I hid it. Within weeks the PND developed into post partum psychosis. I used to attack my partner. I used to self harm. I saw and heard things that weren’t there. I couldn’t bear to be near my baby, because I thought him crying meant he hated me.
But I would physically attack family who tried to care for him, from a belief they wanted to steal or hurt him. For months, I stopped washing myself, stopped cleaning the house, stopped bathing the baby and only wet wipe washed him. I fed him, cleaned his bum, and did the bare minimum. He became sad, pale and withdrawn. My partner at the time, did his very best to try to help me and care for the baby. But with me threatening to kill myself and cutting myself and seeing things, he was so dedicated to my needs, James didn’t get the interaction he needed.
He was often wearing the same clothes, because I wouldn’t change them. For some reason I got it into my head that they were lucky clothes and if I washed them he wouldn’t be protected from the things I was seeing and hearing. This all happened when James was around 6 months old. Health visitors started noticing things weren’t right, I refused to engage. Told them everything was fine and to basically fuck off. Then, at 11 months old, social services turned up took one look at the situation, and took James into care. I spent two years fighting them rather than actually working with them. I believed I was wronged by the system and they’d seen me as an easy target so snatched my baby for their bonuses. Name a SS conspiracy, I believed it.
I spent the next four years after his removal, working on myself. Repairing what was broken. I dug myself out of that hole. My son was never returned, and rightfully so. In time, I had a daughter, six years after James removal. I spent three months in a parenting assessment unit. Cctv staff 24/7 never unsupervised etc. I passed that assessment with flying colours. Including the psych assessment. Three years after that, I had another son. This time social services didn’t even feel the need to be involved, such is the extent of my recovery.
It took 5 years for me to realise my son was neglected in my care. It took me 5 years to accept I was wrong and not SS. It took me years to stabilise myself and to be the mentally competent person I am today
What happened to me hurts. It breaks my heart. However, it probably breaks James more, wherever he may be.
I’m sharing my story to show that when you read these horror stories about SS, there’s always two sides to the story. And the story you often hear, is that of grieving parents who can’t see where they went wrong, and think loving their child is enough.
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I Miss You Every Day, I Miss What You Would Be
I do not need a day on a calendar to tell me when to miss you because I miss you every day, birthdays, Christmas and the day you grew your wings are hard but so is sitting here right now wishing you were by my side..
Every now and again the thought will just creep up out of nowhere and hit me and I’m reminded of all the things we have missed.
All the things we do on a daily basis that we don’t really give much thought about, milestones in your life that you never got to reach.
Seeing children playing that are similar to the age you should be, wondering what would have been your favourite game, would you have been popular, funny or kind.
Everyday is hard but some are harder than others like today really hit me, there is no escaping it, with every firework lighting up the sky, every bang, every crackle just hits me, you should be sat on my shoulders watching it with your family but you aren’t here with me. That was the last time we were a full family.
I know people say time heals but that’s a lie it doesn’t, time just teaches us to “deal with it” some days I’m better at it than others and some days I’m a complete mess. I will never get over losing you, I will just learn to live with it. I can’t change it, but if I could I would give anything just to have you home with us where you belong.
Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying, or when a child is facing bereavement, don’t hesitate to give them a call if you need someone to talk to, Ring 08000288840
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Here’s Why Babies Need Tummy Time
Babies NEED tummy time!
At 11 months old, this little cutie should have a nicely rounded head, developed S curves in his neck and low back, and flexible legs that move in and out of various sitting positions.
But, largely due to lack of time on his tummy and OVERUSE of “baby containers” such as bouncy seats, swings, and car seat carriers that go from car to grocery store to restaurant, he has positional plagiocephaly (flat skull) a big ol’ C curve in his spine preventing him from getting on hands and knees to crawl, and hips and legs so tight he can’t even straighten his knees! And these are only the outwardly visible problems…too much pressure on baby’s spine and vision centers of the brain from lying on their backs are detrimental to development! So….tummy time, tummy time, tummy time! Do it!
ADDITIONAL INSIGHT:
Tummy time IS absolutely important for development! It doesn’t have to be on the floor, but can be on the caregiver’s chest, supported over their lap or bent knees, or on a nursing pillow for younger babies. Many of the comments we’ve read are stating babies shouldn’t be placed in “unnatural” positions or those they can get out of. As developmental therapists, we specialize in the timeline of babies moving from the flexion posture (fetal position) through anti-gravity extension.
The ONLY “natural” position for a baby is flexion. If you lay an infant on their back, i.e. In extension their arms flail and they think they’re falling (this is the Moro reflex) and is why we swaddle babies to keep their arms and legs tucked in close like they were in the womb. The flexion tummy time provides is in fact very safe and natural. We urge you to find a specialist in your area if your baby struggles with reflux and isn’t tolerating tummy time that can help develop strategies that will promote being off of their backs.
AGAIN, this post is directed to parents and caregivers of babies who are typically developing and not those with special needs or other medical diagnoses. The baby in the picture fits this description. It is not meant to be judgmental but informative on what CAN happen. We are so pleased that it has opened up conversation between parents and health care providers to help prevent these issues from occurring.
Credit https://www.facebook.com/Kids-Unlimited-169949259701490/
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It’s Perfectly Ok For Your Baby To Feed More Often
I really wish that all new mothers were told that the majority of newborns want to breastfeed much more frequently than every few hours. And many even want to stay latched on, suckling for extended periods of time. This can understandably shake a new mother’s confidence and make her second guess if she’s producing enough milk to keep her nursling satisfied. Women are usually just told that their baby should nurse ‘every 2-3 hours’, but frequent (and lengthy) nursing is a totally normal thing for newborns to do! It helps keep them close to mama while regulating her milk supply.
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Often babies won’t have these longer stretches between feeds until they’re a little older. Even then, there are several things that could make them want to nurse more, including (but not limited to) teething, sickness, unfamiliar surroundings, or feeling tired. I can’t imagine how miserable it would be to have a fussy baby in your arms but feel like you shouldn’t breastfeed again because it’s “not time yet”.
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This isn’t discussed often enough and new mothers need to be reassured. If baby is gaining weight, then there’s absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding more often than what you’ve been told is ‘normal’. The postpartum period is all about surrendering, so cozy up with your babe and forget the clock.
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Photo x @ameliahannah”
credit: Oh Baby Nutrition
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Halloween Sweets, Warning To Parents
This post is not for attention it’s for safety!!!!
I Didn’t really want to put this on Facebook or other media outlets but after what I went through today I never want any parent to ever have to go through what I did , you think giving your child a lollipop is ok you don’t really second think it, well please do!! tonight my wee ariah was eating a lollipop minding her own business sitting watching tv and in a second she got of the couch and flung herself to the floor and luckily I saw what was happening in so much silence.
Halloween Sweets, Warning To Parents She was struggling to breathe her skin colour started to change! this lollipop had come off of the stick and got stuck in the back of her throat and for about 3/4minutes I had the worst thoughts going round in my head, luckily I got the lolly free but please do not give your child these lollipops! Wee ariah is on 24hr call for look out for ABC,
you never think it’ll happen to your child but tonight it did to mine! I had potentially saved my little girls life Full credit Shannon McWilliams
It is advised to always supervise children when they are eating anything, always ensure Halloween sweets or any treats are kept out of a childs reach and only eaten when you are able to be with them.
Please view the video below to show how to save a choking baby, video made by the British red cross
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Don’t Let Anyone Kiss Your Baby On The Lips
Oliver Jaz Miller was born 3rd of August 2018. when he was 11 days old, he slowly stopped drinking milk throughout the night and started up with a temperature.
When he was 12 days old me and my partner rushed him to hospital Oliver was put onto a heated bed with oxygen. He had a feeding tube put in, along with a long line and a number of cannulas
After 8 days of watching Oliver fight for his life in High Dependency Unit (HDU) the doctor finally came in and said Oliver had caught neonatal herpes. As you could imagine me and my partner was shocked, we couldn’t comprehend What he just said
The doctor began to explain the herpes simplex virus can be passed onto a newborn baby if; a person has a cold sore and kisses the baby or touches the baby after touching the Cold sore.
Cold sores are at their most contagious when they burst (rupture). They remain contagious until completely healed.
Oliver spent 21 long days in the hospital and we finally get to go home with 6 months of antibiotics and visits to the hospital
Please respect newborn baby and stay away if you have a cold sore.
We’re the lucky ones! A few hours later this could be reading so differently.
KEEP YOUR NEWBORNS SAFE, don’t let anyone kiss your baby on the lips, ensure everyone washes hands before they touch your baby and keep anyone with a cold sore away
Credit Lucy Kendall
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Shout Out To The Mamas Nursing Through The Tears
Shout out to all the mamas nursing through the tears on the shower floor, in the backseat of the car, under the piles of laundry, on the couch at 3am, in the cereal aisle of the grocery store. Many mamas go through this you are not alone.
You are making magic (even if you don’t feel magical.) You are strong and powerful (even if you feel like crumbling to the floor and sleeping for a week.) You are seen and loved and supported (even in those dark, lonely moments when it feels like you alone are responsible for the tiny, fragile life at your breast and the weight of that thought is crushing.) You’ve got this babe, and we’ve got you!
Breast milk contains antibodies that help your baby fight off viruses and bacteria. Breastfeeding lowers your baby’s risk of having asthma or allergies. Plus, babies who are breastfed exclusively for the first 6 months, without any formula, have fewer ear infections, respiratory illnesses, and bouts of diarrhea.
(share to a bad-ass breastfeeding mama who may need a reminder of her strength.)
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Don’t Forget To Care For Your Wife/Girlfriend
I finally told my husband last night that he’s failed to realize I’ve been taking a shower only once a week. He felt pretty bad. That everyone always forgets to care for momma after baby is born and even later when baby is 6 months old.
I told him no one looks out for me to see if I’m doing okay because they are so wrapped up in making sure baby is okay and or themselves. He didn’t offer to help until he was all done with his nice long shower and potty session which goes uninterrupted.
I let him know though. I said how am I supposed to feel pretty when I’ve been unnoticed for so long? He couldn’t say anything really except that he apologizes for not appreciating me more.
Deep down it’s more than that for me. He asked what he can do to help and I told him to offer to take her more when ever he can because I need my breaks. Not just once a day breaks either.
Mums do not be ashamed to voice how you feel, if you are overwhelmed, tired or need extra help say something, unfortunately some men don’t notice how much you do or how hard you are finding things, point them out let them know, sometimes a little chat can make a lot of big changes happen.
Would you like to share your own true, funny, heart breaking or inspirational story?
Are you trying to raise awareness of any topic (does not have to be parenting related) or would you like us to do so on your behalf?
Would you like to advertise on Mums advice Facebook page and groups and or our website?
Are you a new or established blogger and feel your article/s may be of interest to our readers? If so please send us an email to mumsadviceltd@outlook.com
