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Tag: abuse

  • Things Need To Change In Uk Care Homes

    I think it’s time to get things changed in care homes to stop abuse and neglect happening to old and vulnerable people who cannot stand up for themselves.

    Care homes need cameras in them ALL OF THEM, to protect residents and staff, they need to be graded as to what level of dementia they can care for.

    Dementia itself needs to be graded so that people are not placed in wrong homes, the staffing levels need to be considerably higher and finally the people working in them need to be vetted more than they are now. Also the owners need to stop making such huge profits because that is all that concerns them .

    So please share to get support I can then go back to the health minister to try to get things changed. Don’t forget you or someone you love might be next

    Credit Ray Ann Lewis

    An investigation by the Daily Mail found four in ten UK care homes had failed inspections in 2017, with residents being forced to live in filthy and squalid conditions, and some locked in bedrooms without any natural light, food was basic with limited nutritional value, paper work was also not accurate.

    Of the 5,300 UK care homes inspected in 2017, 2,314 were dubbed as inadequate or in need of improvement, which is shocking.

    Staffing levels need to increase, better pay, more appreciation, training and shorter working hours would help things.

    Lets stop care home abuse NOW!!!

  • Little Daniel Was Failed By Authority And It Cost Him His Life

    Daniel Valerio from Victoria, Australia, was failed by official inaction. His death shook the nation and led to the introduction of mandatory reporting of suspected child abuse in Victoria, Australia.

    2-year-old Daniel was living with his 4-year-old brother, Ben, his mother, Cheryl, and his mother’s new boyfriend, Paul Leslie Aiton. Cheryl and the boy’s father, Michael, had split up months beforehand and had cut all ties with her and the children. For a prolonged period, Daniel was being subjected to unimaginable abuse at the hands of Paul. He often bragged to his workmates that he often punched the toddler in the back of the head and kicked him and threw him against walls. Paul liked to shove Daniel’s face in faeces and beat his genitalia with a wooden spoon for urinating. Where was his mother when all of this abuse was unfolding one might question. Why wasn’t she there to protect her son? She dismissed his wounds and contusions as the marks of a clumsy child.

    Little Daniel Was Failed By Authority And It Cost Him His Life
    This Is The Monster

    Shortly before Daniel’s death, police found extensive bruising on the toddler. Daniel’s brother, Ben, even told police that he and his brother were being abused and beaten and even showed them a tree branch which had been used as a weapon. In fact, over 21 professionals were alerted to the abuse over the preceding months yet failed to intervene. Several neighbours and Ben’s teachers noticed disturbing changes in the children. They were often spotted with large bruising on their faces and bodies and became defensive and unhappy. It was clear to anybody with an ounce of sense that these boys were being abused at home.

    Several GP’s made a note of their injuries and in July of 1990, Daniel was taken to hospital after one GP became concerned about the bruising in his head. They noted that he was extremely happy to be given attention and cuddles by any members of staff. “The child’s behaviour in hospital was the sort of behaviour one sees in a neglected child,” he noted. Nevertheless, he was sent home where child services soon received an anonymous phone call which detailed how Daniel was thin, pale, covered in bruises and had suffered two broken collar bones. There was no follow-up and Daniel remained in the abusive home.

    Another concerned call came from an electrician who saw Daniel laying motionless in bed. His face, arms and legs were covered with bruises. One eye was closed and the other was partially open due to the swelling. His cheek bones and jaw was swollen. He went home and called the police. When police arrived, Ben told them that they were being abused and directed them to the tree branch which was used as a weapon. The next day, Daniel was examined and the doctor found that he couldn’t be sure if the wounds were non-accidental and sent Daniel home.

    On the 8th of September, 1990, Daniel was punched in the stomach one last time as he lay in his bed. Paul, who was 30-years-old and 105kg, told police that Daniel, who was 30-months-old and 10kg, was crying. He said he lay the toddler on the bed and punched him in the stomach over and over again. He died then and there. As he lay in the mortuary, his body was literally covered head to toe with bruises. The pathologist said it looked like he had been involved in a fatal car crash.

    For reasons completely unknown, the day after murdering her son, Cheryl agreed to marry Paul despite the fact that he confessed to the murder. Paul was found guilty and sentenced to 22 years but was released in 2011. Cheryl ultimately divorced Paul and he went on to re-marry and start a new life – something he denied Daniel when he beat him to death.

    Full credit http://www.morbidology.com please check them out

  • A Story From A Child In Foster Care

    Life has been a bit not nice for me. I’ve not been the best bear I could be and things have been scary. My tummy bubbles have been very very big, my legs have done lots of running, my hands lots of hurting and my mouth saying not nice stuff.

    It’s been the summer holidays. I like the holidays usually as I get to do lots and lots of fun stuff with Kim and the others. We have been doing nice stuff and I have had some fun but there’s been something else happening for me as well. Something not fun. Not nice. Something I didn’t know what to do with.

    I still see mummy and my brothers. We have contact. Sometimes mummy doesn’t come and then I feel sad because I think she doesn’t like me anymore or she’s poorly – she used to get poorly a lot when she had her friends round and they did drinking and some other bad stuff and fighting. Mummy has been coming to contact in the summer and in the holidays we get to spend longer with her. We go to the family centre with the big garden. Sometimes me and mummy can talk by ourselves when the supervisor is on the other side of the garden.

    We was playing football with my brothers. Then they wanted to go on the climbing frame. I was too hot so sat on the grass. Mummy sat with me. I thought it was going to be lovely to be with her but then she said it. Mummy said I was going to live back at home with her. She was going to court to get me back. She was going to tell them that the social

    workers was telling lies. That I had been telling lies about the man in my room. And because I was a liar Kim didn’t want me living in her house so that’s the plan. I am going to live back with mummy as soon as the court says so BUT I mustn’t tell anyone because social will make up more lies.

    All my happy went in that minute. Every thing changed for me. I’ve been living with Kim for a fair time now and really loved it there. I always felt safe there. I always had food and toys and clothes and my comfy bed. And I was a big enough bear now to know I didn’t get that at mummy’s. My world was like a big balloon that had just gone pop.

    I went back to Kim’s from contact. It was Kims now, not home. Mummy’s was going to be home, a home I feared, a home full of noise and mess. A home without lights, cold, dirty. A home with no clean clothes, no nice comfy bed, no toys. The place I had come from. Somewhere I didn’t want to go back to. They’d told me I wouldn’t have to go back there. Kim. The court people. The social worker. Mummy was right. They had been telling lies. They said I wasn’t going home and mummy said I am when she’s been to court. I had to show them this little bear knew they were lying.

    And show them I did. I was cross. I did everything I could think of to show them what happens when this little bear wasn’t happy. I ran away. I broke things. I kicked Kim. I tore my books up. I started to swear again. If they’d lied to me I’d lie back. I told them it wasn’t me that put the remote in the toilet. I told them it wasn’t me that wrote swear words on the wall. I told them I hated them. That was my biggest lie. Inside I didn’t hate them. I loved them but couldn’t understand why they’d lied to me and why I was having to go back to mummy’s house.

    I carried on like this for a good while. I was going to take charge here and make them hate me like I hated them. My comfy bed was next. I cut my duvet. Cut my pillow. I wasn’t having a comfy bed at mummy’s house so I needed to remember what it was like not having one. I’d better get used to it. Kim caught me. Scissors in hand and cut pillow by my side. I wasn’t prepared for what happened next.

    Did the shouting come? No. Did the beating come? No. Did the throwing things around the room come? No. Did the threat of no dinners come? No. Did the hitting of walls or door come? No. Did the being called all the horrid names on the planet start? No. Did the pushing and shoving start? No. No they didn’t. That’s what happens at mummy’s house not Kim’s.

    Did I start to feel really scared? No. Did I wet myself in fear? No. Did I throw the scissors? No. Did I shout and swear? No. Did I try to run? No. Did I cower in the corner? No. They were things that happened in mummy’s house too. So now I’m really really confused. They want to take me away from my safe place to put me back in mummy’s house. How can that be an okay thing to do?

    And do you know? I think Kim could see what I was feeling inside. I think she could see I was angry about things – she didn’t know what. But more so I think she could see that underneath this cross angry bear face who said he hated everyone, there was a little bear who felt so frightened, confused and lonely and in desperate need of a tight squeezy hug. A little bear who had so much to say but not the words to say it. A little bear whose world had drastically changed by those few words from his mummy’s mouth – you’re coming back home.

    Kim sat next to me and took the scissors from my hand. I leant into her like I do when I need a hug and she cuddled me. She cuddled me so tight I knew I was safe. And then I cried. I cried and cried and cried. And then I told her what mummy said. And do you know as I was telling Kim I knew it was mummy that wasn’t telling me the right things. I’ve grown enough to know what happened at home wasn’t how little bears are meant to live. But after all I’d done these last few weeks maybe that was how I deserved to live?

    Kim just held me and let me cry away. I talked and talked in my crying. I don’t know how Kim could understand me but she did. When I was all cried out Kim talked back to me. She told me that she felt mummy had got things a bit muddled. How Kim and the social workers hadn’t lied to me. That I wasn’t going to go back to live at mummy’s. Kim and the police and everyone knew I wasn’t lying about the man in my room. They’d all seen what mummy’s house was like. My brothers had all said the same thing and they did believe us. Kim does want me to live with her till I’m a grown up bear. She was sorry that mummy had made me so very scared and mummy was wrong to say such things. My social worker came out to see me and told me just the same as Kim. That helped calm my tummy bubbles big time! They are going to talk to mummy about it and how it made me feel. They said sometimes mummies will say these things to stop themselves feeling so bad but they don’t think how it makes the children feel. Mummy isn’t going to be in trouble which is good because I don’t want that, but they want mummy to think about what she says. Kim used to say that to me lots – I used to say unkind things but didn’t think how they made people feel, so I know what the social worker means.

    I’m feeling safe again now. Happy and so so glad I’ve still got my comfy bed. Kim got me a new duvet and pillow but I did have to use some of my money to help buy it. I don’t mind. Because I know when I say home it’s where I live now and that’s just how I like it!

    #bearincare

    #fosteringchangeslives

    www.essexadoptionandfostering.co.uk/fostering

    Full credit: https://www.facebook.com/Robbie-a-bear-in-foster-care-his-story

  • Dear Teachers Please Don’t Ask Kids What They Did This Summer

    “Dear teachers

    Please when those sweet faces show up in your classroom for the first time and you want to give that familiar homework of “What I did this summer!!” , please consider the kid whose family couldn’t afford a holiday ☹️ the kid who took care of younger siblings because their grown-up slept all day, the kid who hid under the covers at 2 a.m. trying to escape the screaming and cursing 😞 the kid who is looking forward to lunch because they’ve only had the same sandwich all summer or haven’t been fed at all and have spent their Summer looking for ways to feed themselves.

    The kid wearing last year’s clothes because their family couldn’t afford new ones .

    There are kids dreading the first day of school because they have no good answer for what they did this summer when what they really did was just survive.

    So please consider a different question. Perhaps “what I’m looking forward to about this school year,” . But please, don’t make them go around the room or write a paragraph telling about their summer. Sadly, for a lot of kids, the best part is that summer is over.”

  • Once He Wins Your Heart, Then He Can Play Games

    When he treats you like a queen

    Says his never loved anyone more than you

    Buys you expensive presents

    You end up falling for him too

    It’s not until his got your heart

    That he starts to play his games

    You don’t realise it at the time

    Not until it is too late

    It’s a slow and gradual process

    He makes you doubt things you supposedly said

    He tries to stop you going out

    And says it’s because he cares

    You soon begin to feel lonely

    Your friends and family drifting away

    You got me, you don’t need them

    Is what he might often say

    Once his got you on his own

    His behaviour will get worse

    You don’t know where the man you met went

    After his first violent outburst

    If you go to up and leave

    He will cry plead and beg

    He will use emotional blackmail

    And get inside your head

    It will never happen again he says

    He promises to change

    Things go back to being good

    But his made you feel afraid

    His great for a while

    Till he doesn’t get what he wants

    He puts you down and calls you names

    Then makes out it’s your fault

    The violent outbursts start again

    They become a regular thing

    If anyone asks if you’re ok

    You cover up and lie for him

    This is just an outline

    Of what abusive people are like

    Just remember it’s not you’re fault

    And that there is light

    You are strong and you’re beautiful

    You are better off without him

    There is help out their to free your self

    Speak out and let people in

    It may take a while to recover

    And even longer to trust again

    Surround your self with positive people

    That can help you as you mend

    You will miss the happier times

    And the man you thought he was and could be

    It’s ok to shed your tears

    You are allowed to grieve

    You can do this believe in yourself

    You will come out stronger than ever

    And there will come a day where you will never look back

    Because you are a true survivor

  • I Got Flowers Today- Domestic Violence

    I got flowers today. It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day. We had our first argument last night. He said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he was sorry and didn’t mean the things he said. Because I got flowers today.

    I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry Because he sent me flowers today.

    I got flowers today. It wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again. And it was much worse than all other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I’ m afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry Because he sent me flowers today.

    I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral.

    Last night he finally killed me. He beat me to death.

    If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.

    This poem is dedicated to all the victims and survivors of Domestic Violence.

    You ask, why didn’t she leave?

    I ask, why did he hit?

    Author: Paulette Kelly

     

     

    Want to share your own story, poem, joke etc? Trying to raise awareness of any topic or would like us to do so on your behalf? Want to find out our advertising prices for our Facebook page and or website? Think your new or established blog may be suitable for our site? If so please send us a short email to mumsadviceltd@outlook.com

  • I Am Too Weak To Leave My Abusive Marriage

    I am too weak to leave my abusive marriage. Walking on eggshells everyday. Trying to do all the house works while watching two little kids and still get yelled at, at the end of the day, if it is not up to his standards and he has had a bad day I may be hit . I feel sorry for the kids, so after each fight, I beg him not to leave, I do not want them to be raised without a father. After getting yelled at and abused, I asked him not to leave, I beg him, I apologise.

    He is a wonderful, loving, supportive father, he is the bread-winner, he doesn’t mean to hurt me, he is just tired after a long day at work, I must be doing something wrong, not working hard enough myself or clearly don’t give him what he so needs after a long day.

    This is how I felt three years ago I was clearly weak, NO I WAS WEAK, I had been broken down so much to think I was worthless that I believed it, no one would want me, I was scum.

    When my daughter was five years ago she fell asleep in her loving fathers lap, she had an accident in her sleep and wet herself. He leapt up from his armchair launching our daughter across he room, he launched towards her, fists raised, ready to hit our little girl, I stepped in between them, I took the punch, and you know what I woke up to the reality I was actually living in, I was not the problem, HE WAS!

    Once he was in bed, I packed a small bag for my children, and walked in the night carrying one child and holding the hand of another, I had no plan, nowhere to go, but anywhere was safer than living with him.

    Three years later and I have a job, a new relationship where I feel safe to have a voice, to have a lazy day, to let my kids be kids, life has never been better, my children remember very little of their father but sometimes my daughter will wake up crying and remembers glass breaking and my tears, I did not realise at the time that she had heard the fights, that she had snuck into her baby brothers room (he was 2 at the time) she had held him and covered his ears so he could not hear.

    Please if you are in an abusive relationship, GET OUT. GET HELP, you may think he will never hurt your children, but he will, he doesn’t have to physically hit them to cause pain, the pain of hearing their mother being abused is enough

  • Angry Facebook User Target Unicorn Business

    Angry Facebook Users Target Unicorn Business.

    A company called Cotswold Unicorns were spammed with multiple terrible reviews, angry comments and hateful messages after screen shots were shared into Vegan groups, a girls bitchy chat group and a discussion and rant page.

    Cotswold unicorns hired out a beautiful white horse to be used at parties and celebrations, the horse wore a fake unicorn horn and children were given “animal friendly” paints and chalk to decorate the animal.

    Within 2 hours of the screen shots being shared 157 reviews were placed on Cotswold unicorns Facebook page.

    Here are some of the replies

    Carrie owens “This is animal abuse I hope you get your horse taken away from you, horses are not for drawing on”

    Freya Lassels “erm unicorns aren’t real and neither is your business, you’re the reason people become vegans and no one wants any more of them in the world”

    Patty Shackles ” SICK, SICK, SICK, animal abuse at it’s worse”.

    On their Facebook page Cotswold Unicorn advertise

    “Here at Cotswold Unicorns, we’re all about making memories that last a lifetime.  Golden afternoons spent in the fresh air getting to know our unicorns, grooming and painting them to look even more beautiful, with lots of laughter along the way. 

    We offer bespoke parties as well as standard options, and with prices starting from £130 there’s something for everyone at Cotswold Unicorns”.

    Whats your thoughts is it animal cruelty or harmless fun to paint and draw on a horse/unicorn? Let us know your views in the comments.

    If you have a story to share, want to raise awareness of any topic or would like us to do so on your behalf, interested in advertising on our Facebook page or website or have a new or established blog and would like to have your blog featured on our site please send us an email to mumsadviceltd@outlook.com

  • Angry Facebook Users Target Unicorn Business Are They Right?

    Angry Facebook Users Target Unicorn Business.

    A company called Cotswold Unicorns were spammed with multiple terrible reviews, angry comments and hateful messages after screen shots were shared into Vegan groups, a girls bitchy chat group and a discussion and rant page.

    Cotswold unicorns hired out a beautiful white horse to be used at parties and celebrations, the horse wore a fake unicorn horn and children were given “animal friendly” paints and chalk to decorate the animal.

    Within 2 hours of the screen shots being shared 157 reviews were placed on Cotswold unicorns Facebook page.

    Here are some of the replies

    Carrie owens “This is animal abuse I hope you get your horse taken away from you, horses are not for drawing on”

    Freya Lassels “erm unicorns aren’t real and neither is your business, you’re the reason people become vegans and no one wants any more of them in the world”

    Patty Shackles ” SICK, SICK, SICK, animal abuse at it’s worse”.

    On their Facebook page Cotswold Unicorn advertise

    “Here at Cotswold Unicorns, we’re all about making memories that last a lifetime.  Golden afternoons spent in the fresh air getting to know our unicorns, grooming and painting them to look even more beautiful, with lots of laughter along the way. 

    We offer bespoke parties as well as standard options, and with prices starting from £130 there’s something for everyone at Cotswold Unicorns”.

    Whats your thoughts is it animal cruelty or harmless fun to paint and draw on a horse/unicorn? Let us know your views in the comments.

    If you have a story to share, want to raise awareness of any topic or would like us to do so on your behalf, interested in advertising on our Facebook page or website or have a new or established blog and would like to have your blog featured on our site please send us an email to mumsadviceltd@outlook.com

  • Equal Rights Should Mean Equal Responsibility-Rape

    Charlie Lucy took to Facebook with a post that made many people sit up and think.

     Equal rights should mean equal responsibility.

    The definition of rape stands as such:

    “Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person’s consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or against a person who is incapable of giving valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, has an intellectual disability or is below the legal age of consent.The term rape is sometimes used interchangeably with the term sexual assault.”

    So therefore why are females who violate children not charged with rape?

    Women fought for the right to vote,work and be considered as equals to their male counterparts. They demanded change so as to be given the same rights and privileges.

    With equal rights should come equal responsibility and yet because they lack male genitalia they escape being charged,tried and found guilty of the crime of rape. The very definition states that rape includes “other forms of penetration”-which female abusers engage in-and so why are they not charged as rapists,rather than it being classed as “assault by penetration?”

    I will always class my female perpetrators as rapists. They groomed me,tortured and manipulated me,held and tied me down to be assaulted by male abusers,used objects and their body parts to violate my body,were party to recording these sickening acts. My foster-mother would take me to various homes to be violated and raped-she accepted money from these vermin in exchange for my innocence.

    She and other female abusers assaulted and degraded me in every possible way,there were dozens-if not hundreds-of occasions where they penetrated and violently assaulted my body for their own sexual gratification and yet these vile excuses for human beings avoid being charged as the despicable rapist scum they are?

    In no way am I saying that sexual assault isn’t as traumatic as rape-both violations are devastating and will change the victim forever-but rape is legally considered to be a more serious offence than sexual assault and females are evading being labelled as the monsters they are!

    Sentencing in the UK is already highly questionable and does not reflect the severity of the crime. It’s about time female abusers faced the same consequences-however lenient any legal punishment maybe!

    Peace to you all 💖