Category: Our stories
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Its A Bad Day Not A Bad Life
Not every day is easy
Not every day is a “good day”
Today is one of them days
The feelings of helplessness because you can’t settle your baby
They soon turn into feelings of guilt and doubt
“Why can’t I settle her, what am I doing so wrong”
Then the toddler starts being mischievous and a general toddler “why can’t he just behave, why does he have to touch everything I tell him not to”
Again, feelings of guilt – these children deserve better than what you’re providing
The added stress social media causes because I have the overwhelming need to ‘prove’ to a bunch of strangers, friends and everything in between that I’m coping and that I have this whole parenting thing under control
Assuming those closest to you are judging you when you’re honest about not coping, or assuming they can see through your mask of lies
Asking my mum to take the kids so I can attend to my personal hygiene and housework – again cue the overwhelming guilt that I’m not spending enough time with my own children
My husband returns from work, only for me to thrust the children on to him so I can start tea, in my head trying to justify it as acceptable because I’m cooking everyone their tea and feeding them like the good wife and mother
But this guilt returns “he’s had a hard day at work, providing for his family. Give the man a break”
In hindsight, I can recognise that I’m my own biggest critic and it is my presumptions that cause the guilt and not in fact anybody’s opinion. I also recognise that I overlook the good moments on a bad day and don’t give myself the credit that overall, I’ve managed and today is just one day
It’s a bad day, not a bad life.
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I Quit My Job To Breastfeed My Boyfriend
Now not everyone enjoys their job many quit because of the stress of it, feeling under appreciated or don’t like certain colleagues but can you image saying to your boss, “I quit this job so I can breastfeed my boyfriend every two hours.” Well… this woman did.
Where did the idea come from? Mulford approached her former childhood sweetheart, 36-year-old Brad Leeson, with the idea, “It was like a light switch flicked in his head. I could tell him from his voice that he was curious and excited.”“We were talking and Brad told me he had a thing for big-breasted women, and that size had always been a factor in his relationships,” Jennifer said. “I thought it was the perfect time to bring up adult breastfeeding -and see if he’d be interested.”
It was then that Mulford knew she had found the one. “At the moment I knew that I had a partner for life,” she said. “We both wanted the same thing out of the relationship — a magical bond that only breastfeeding can achieve.”The search begins. Before Brad came into the picture, Jennifer was searching aimlessly for a man to be open to the adult breastfeeding concept. “When I read about the pure joy it brought others, I was desperate to seek out a partner to share an emotional bond with.”
He said yes! Brad was interested. The only problem? Jennifer hadn’t breastfed a baby, let alone an adult male, in over 20 years. She didn’t have any milk to feed to Brad.
The thing about a woman’s body is it’s not like you just suck on a nipple for a few seconds and milk comes out. You would have to trick your body by “dry” breastfeeding quite often to fool your body into lactating.
That is a lot of work, all of that dry breastfeeding to fool your body. Jennifer is so committed to this pursuit that she quit her job. “I’ve taken a break from my job because I want to devote everything to making this work.”
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Mum Flu It Is No Joke Give Us A Medal
The definition of Mum Flu, get out of bed and get on with things. Reach for every available remedy, drink as many Lempsip Max’s or Benylin medicine that are allowed before driving would become impaired. No matter how much we want to be looked after, receive sympathy for our aches and pains or to curl up in bed, hide under the duvet and not appear until all ailments have gone it just is not possible.
There was nothing better as a child when, if poorly mum (and dad) would flood you with lots of TLC. Being tucked up in bed, toast brought to your bedside a bottle of Lucosade (which I thought was medicine for many years). Then as we progress into adult hood and are working, even a day off sick from work would mean the duvet on the sofa watching endless day time tv with a box of tissues and cups of tea on tap.
Becoming a mum and being ill just do not go. I certainly know from experience in this house, life would come to a complete stand still if I was to take to my bed. Waking on a Monday morning feeling like I have been kicked in the chest by a horse, throat feeling like it has a thousand pins stuck in it and an ear that is throbbing so bad I could cry it just fills me with dread. Not because I am ill, I can cope with being ill it is everything else that I have to do whilst feeling like this. Nothing in my day-to-day life is able to suffer. Nothing can be put off for another day and the children will need fed.
I am an organised person and so all school clothes are put out the night before, school bags at the front door at the ready but still this morning the children received my frustrations. My head is telling me it is just like any other day but my body is screaming….what are you doing woman get back to bed. After school and nursery drop off, which signs of my current Ora was showing as a fellow mum asked if I was alright,(other words for you do look absolutely awful) it was time to get back home and start work. Monday is Payroll day and is my busiest day of the week. I am responsible for making sure no mistakes are made as this is my employees livelihood, they have mortgages and bills to pay. My brain is functioning but certainly not on all cylinders. The process is slower than usual and I check and check again that all is correct. Working from home is full of advantages but on days like these is so wish I had someone to do my work for me.
I long for the end of the day, I wish away the hours but I know I still have a few phone calls to make, school pick up, youngest swimming lessons, middle childs drama and oldests hockey training. (once again I praise the Slow Cooker for its ability to make that part of the day easier). My partner phones a few times throughout the day only to ask have I been to the chemist to get more medicine. There was a little hint of sympathy in his voice but he is in London and I am sure there is slight relief, one he is far enough away from the germs but also he does not need to be stand in mum until I feel better.
Mum flu is worse than Man flu us woman are super heroes and deserve medals
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Social Services Took My Baby And Adopted Her Out
Kerry Blackaller has stirred up a lot of Facebook debates of late after she posted this
“SHARE!!!!! CROYDON SOCIAL SERVICES NEED LOOKING INTO! Most need suing!!!
I found out TODAY by ME making a phone call to ask, my child has already been adopted! In fact the day they made a decision that I couldn’t bring her home! That quick and with no idea or no one to inform me! She’s been adopted! Right before Christmas! CROYDON SOCIAL SERVICES ARE SCUM!!!!!
The day my baby girl was forcibly TAKEN!! I became some body new,
a totally different person, someone I never knew.
I am not who I used to be. I am defiantly not the same.
The only thing that hasn’t changed is the spelling of my name.
I cry more now than I ever did I break down quite a lot.
In fact I tried the other week to end the pain by making my heart beat stop!!
A mother gives her child life and a love unlike no other,
when that is taken all away she becomes a grieving mother!”.
Whilst many people showed Kerry a lot of sympathy for her baby being taken away, others wanted a lot more information and asked why the baby was removed in the first place, some responded to that comment saying that the mother had mental health issues and wasnt given the help or support she needed.
Hundreds of people showed no compassion and stated that social services do not take babies or children for no reason and they tend to work with families to keep children with their parents.
How do you feel about social services, do you think they are removing children from their parents care for no good reason or are there genuine reasons for concern in most cases?
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Stop! Don’t Wash That Baby
🚫STOP! DON’T WASH THAT BABY🚫
Ever wondered what that white cheesy substance is on your fresh baby? It’s called Vernix! It starts to form on your baby’s skin around 20 weeks. What’s exactly in vernix?🤔 Scientists have identified lipids, amino acids, proteins, antibacterial, and antimicrobial compounds such as:
wax and sterol esters
ceramides
squalene
cholesterol
triglycerides
phospholipids
and amino acids, asparagine and glutamine
61% of these proteins can only be found in vernix 🤗
What are the uses of Vernix? 📚
📌it acts as antibacterial agent to protect baby inside and outside the womb
📌protective covering while going through the birth canal
📌allows baby to pick up good back bacteria and leave behind overgrowth of bad bacteria
📌protects baby from meconium exposure(baby’s first poop)
📌it acts as insulation by maintaining your baby’s body temperature. Infants who are immediately washed have a significantly higher rate of heat loss
📌acts as a lubricant and decreases friction during birth and reducing infant trauma
📌it smells like mama and helps keep baby calm after birth
📌your baby swallows Vernix in the womb. The same proteins found in vernix are the same as those in breastmilk. This helps baby’s digestive tract to be ready to breastfeed.
📌keeps baby’s skin soft and subtle
Why do nurses rub it off? 🤔
Many policies in the hospital system are outdated but still practiced. We were taught that Vernix was a risk of germs. You can ask staff to please reduce rubbing of baby to preserve Vernix on baby’s skin! When baby has his first skin to skin contact with you, this is the perfect time to rub it in, not rub it off.
MAJORITY OF VERNIX IS ABSORBED 24 HOURS AFTER BIRTH BUT ISNT FULLY ABSORBED TILL 5-6 DAYS AFTER BIRTH! LETS GIVE OUR BABIES TIME ABSORB THIS DELICIOUS CREAM THAT SCIENTISTS ARE SO DESPERATELY TRYING TO DUPLICATE BUT CANNOT!
#vernix #childbirth #delayfirstbath #stop #dontwash #birth #pregnancy #newborns #babies #infants #themoreyouknow
Photocred: Birth Becomes Her
Credit https://www.facebook.com/badassmotherbirther/
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Positive Post Of The Day-What’s In Your Cup
I love this analogy!
You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere.
Why did you spill the coffee?
“Well because someone bumped into me, of course!”
Wrong answer.
You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup.
Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea.
*Whatever is inside the cup, is what will spill out.*
Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which WILL happen), whatever is inside you will come out. It’s easy to fake it, until you get rattled.
*So we have to ask ourselves… “what’s in my cup?”
When life gets tough, what spills over?
Joy, gratefulness, peace and humility?
Or anger, bitterness, harsh words and reactions?
You choose! 💯
Today let’s work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation; and kindness, gentleness and love for others
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Married Woman This Is For You! Trust Me You’ll Love It
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from my Boyfriend 5.0 software program version to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as FIFA 5.0, MOTD 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
RESPONSE FROM TECH SUPPORT FOR MEN:
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0
is an Operating System. Try to enter the command:
“C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME”
to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0
and Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
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I Quit Being A Carer To Work In KFC And Its So Much Better
Eighteen long years I have worked in care, I gained many many qualifications, spent hours training to be the best I could possibly be in my sector.
I would wash and dress the elderly, I would sit with them and brush their hair, paint their nails and listen to all the stories from their past, I genuinely cared about every single person I was employed to look after.
Many a times I held the hand of someone I had loved as they took their last breath, I sang to them, stroked their hair and sobbed when they passed on, I attended their funeral and stood with “family” members who never or rarely visited their mum/dad as they cried their crocodile tears, with only the thought of their will in their minds.
I cleaned out their room as management arranged for the next “body” to move in, the next pay cheque.
I dished up the Tesco value food on to their plate, and watched the owner drive home early in their brand new car, I brought in shampoo and soap for the lady who had nothing.
Working in care broke me, whilst I loved the people I cared for, I constantly felt I was being rushed by seniors or management, I was given names of residents to get up, whether they were sleeping or not, I wasn’t allowed to spend quality time talking to them, or making them feel loved, it was all about getting people up and dressed as quick as possible.
Compassion was missing, Love was lacking, from the people earning the most out of these wonderful people’s lives.
Every day I would go home wondering if someone would be ok, would they still be alive by my next shift, I received a disciplinary for taking too long to bathe someone and when I was told to hurry up “I had spoken rudely to a senior”, that was the last straw for me, how can you bathe a 87-year-old woman in 5 minutes, that’s not a bath, that’s cruel!
I quit!!! I can’t do it!!!
I got a job in KFC actually earn more money (not that you get into care for the cash) I am less stressed, my day offs I don’t think about the chickens, I still think about the people I cared for but I had to think about me, something needs to change in care homes and put the residents needs and wants first, management shouldn’t see them as a cash flow, I understand they need to make money but not so much that the elderly are suffering. The care sector needs to wake up and realise they are pushing good people out of the industry!
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Mums Committing Suicide I Finally Get It
I get it. I finally get it. You see mums committing suicide. And I couldn’t understand it. How do you leave your kids behind like that?
Postpartum depression is what they call it. You don’t feel like the world would be better off without you, you feel like you’d be better off without this world.
And then everybody posts, “oh, I never knew. She didn’t say anything. She seemed okay.” ……. She told you. And it seemed small to you, you didn’t get it.
Behind on life, can’t get anything done. Everything is expected of her and she’s drowning. She lost herself taking care of others. She’s told you, “I can’t today. I have too much to do”
Don’t offer to help with her kids because then the guilt sets in. She won’t let you take them because she feels like she’s already not spending enough time with them. I see it. I see you. I understand you. Y’all wanna check on somebody? Stop by and visit, let her take a shower, help her in some way so she feels like she’s not so behind. Like she’s not alone. Like she’s HUMAN. There’s your signs. Stop saying you didn’t know. Because she told you.
Photographer: Taylor LaKae Rawlings
Speak to your GP or health visitor as soon as possible if you think you might have postnatal depression.
With appropriate treatment and support, most women make a full recovery, although it can take time.
Looking after a baby can be stressful and challenging for anyone, and it can be even tougher if you’re dealing with postnatal depression as well.
There are a number of things you can try yourself to improve your symptoms and help you cope. These include:
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talk to your partner, friends and family – try to help them understand how you’re feeling and what they can do to support you
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don’t try to be a “supermum” – accept help from others when it’s offered and ask your loved ones if they can help look after the baby and do tasks such as housework, cooking and shopping
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make time for yourself – try to do activities that you find relaxing and enjoyable, such as going for a walk, listening to music, reading a book or having a warm bath
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rest when you can – although it can be difficult when you’re looking after a baby, try to sleep whenever you get the chance, follow good sleeping habits and ask your partner to help with the night-time work
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exercise regularly – this has been shown to help boost mood in people with mild depression (read more about exercise for depression)
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eat regular, healthy meals and don’t go for long periods without eating
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don’t drink alcohol or take drugs , as this can make you feel worse
Ask your health visitor about support services in your area. They may be able to put you in touch with a social worker, counsellor or local support group. It can be reassuring to meet other women who are going through something similar.
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