Category: Our stories

  • My Oldest Son Took His Life The Signs Were There We Just Didn’t See Them

    My oldest son Phillip took his own life on Monday the 18th March 2019. He was only 34 years old. For over 6 years he had been a loving single Dad to his 3 young children. Aged 12yrs, 10yrs & the youngest only 7yrs old.

    The signs were there had we looked hard enough, had we realised what they were. He was depressed, down, had started drinking, found it hard to sleep. He hid this from us, instead, he would let us believe that all was well. We found out after he had died, just how low he had become. We found out that he had bought his XXXXXXXXXXXXX. As easy as that. We also found his suicide note on his p.c.

    Saying how he had and was failing his children, how he had hurt others along the way. How with him gone, everyone would be so much better off. He was wrong, we were all so proud of him, a young lad taking on custody of 3 children, youngest at the time was only 7 mths old.

    I never ever would have thought that it would have been Phillip that would take his own life. That day he had dropped his children off at school, had an argument with his ex and then with her family. He drove 5 mins away. Pulled over off the road. Posted a status on Facebook at 10.45. At 10.53 he uploaded a photo of himself crying on WhatsApp…

    It would have been quick and painless the police told us when they knocked at our door at 1 pm. All over with so quickly. One beautiful life snuffed out just as quick as that. He lost his fight that day, lost the fight to his demons. Nothing can bring him back. The pain left behind is so intense, his 3 brothers & 2 sisters are walking around lost. A massive part of them has gone. My heart has been ripped out, my soul totally destroyed. Nothing is going to heal this hole deep inside us.

    I don’t want his death to be in vain though. I need it to be worth something. If anyone is feeling the same way that my son was that dreadful morning. Reach out I’m Begging you. Talk to someone, even if it’s a total stranger. Death is NOT the answer, although it may seem like the only escape route. It’s not. YOUR LIFE MATTERS. You matter to people. You are worth saving every time. Please hear these words from the heart of a grieving mother, and get help.

    Sheena

    DON’T SUFFER IN SILENCE ….ITS OK TO NOT BE OK ….

    UK HELPLINES…..ADVICE FURTHER DOWN….

    Samaritans – for everyone

    Call 116 123

    Email jo@samaritans.org

    Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – for men

    Call 0800 58 58 58 – 5pm to midnight every day

    Or visit the webchat page

    Papyrus – for people under 35

    Call 0800 068 41 41 – Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm, weekends 2pm to 10pm,

    Text 07786 209697

    Email pat@papyrus-uk.org

    Childline – for children and young people under 19

    Call 0800 1111 – the number won’t show up on your phone bill

    The Silver Line – for older people

    Call 0800 4 70 80 90

    TALK TO SOMEONE YOU TRUST….

    Let family or friends know what’s going on with you. They may be able to offer support and help keep you safe.

    There’s no right or wrong way to talk about suicidal feelings – starting the conversation is what’s important.

    If you find it difficult to talk to someone you know, you could call your GP – ask for an emergency appointment or

    call 111 out of hours – they will help you find the support and help you need

    TIPS FOR COPING RIGHT NOW …

    Try not to think about the future – just focus on getting through today

    Stay away from drugs and alcohol

    Get yourself to a safe place, like a friend’s house

    Be around other people

    Do something you usually enjoy, such as spending time with a pet

  • Shocking Treatment By RyanAir To Disabled Boy

    HE’S FINALLY ON THE PLANE! This is my son Leo he is 15 he has severe autism and the mental capacity of a 3 year old.. who tonight Ryanair refused to let fly home because he was distressed when they wouldn’t let him have his doll and demanded payment for it as hand luggage.

    Police were called and 4/5 of them surrounded him at Alicante airport .. they physically touched him without his awareness and his doll which caused his meltdown. If they had any autism awareness they would have known this would always escalate to a meltdown.

    Special assistance had been requested as not all disabilities are visible but we were told no by Ryanair because Leo can walk. He had to be then taken to the airport Doctor and medicated as he was so distressed. Ryanair off loaded the luggage and offered them no other way to get home, shrugging shoulders saying no flights til next Tuesday. In desperation his carer went to the Jet2 desk to beg for help and they were outstanding ..

    Anna and Mark were outstanding ground Jet2 staff .. they stayed with Leo from when they bought new tickets at the desk and have been sat on the floor with him as he was so frightened to board the plane trying to calm and reassure him. He was in a wheelchair at this point due to them medicating him.

    The other lady in the photos is Ellie and she is Jet2 cabin crew .. sat on the floor calming him and she is putting his babies to bed for him and talking to him, which will keep him calm .. she was amazing ..

    This plastic doll item she has on her knee is what RYANAIR wanted to charge for and take off him, his carer had NOT even refused the payment! At the time of boarding he didn’t even have all these dolls they were bought after the event to help calm him before trying to get him on the jet2 flight. What is even more unbelievable the carer was wearing the recognised Lanyard which is used to alert airport staff to a non visible disability!!

    Jet 2 I cannot thankyou enough for getting my disabled vulnerable boy home .. and treating him with kindness .. dignity and respect, and most of all time .. autistic children need extra processing time .. not spanish Police threatening him with injections! The ignorant actions of Ryanair and ground staff escalated this situation. Even the Jet2 Captain came to check on Leo’s wellbeing .. and a special thankyou to the kind gentleman who was travelling with his daughters who offered much appreciated assistance.

    Please accept my thanks from the bottom of my heart. I will not be patronising this airline again .. in my opinion they are driven by utter greed and in this instance void of humanity, and I intend to follow-up this incident.

    Please please everyone share this for me, I would be so grateful and really want to show the level of compassion and outstanding customer service Jet2 have shown 💖

    Credit Helen Estella

  • ICandy Serious Safety Warning

    * WARNING : ICANDY ORANGE OWNERS *

    Anyone who owns an iCandy Orange pushchair please please visit the icandy website and check if your batch is one which has a safety warning.

    At the weekend, our little 21 month old princess got her finger trapped in the ‘safety cross bar’ on the pushchair! I’m not one to exaggerate, but believe me when I say the end of her finger was almost sliced off. We were on a bank holiday weekend away and were having a family day at Twin Lakes when this happened. It was such a traumatic experience and I still feel physically sick and can’t get it out of my head. The thought of what our little girl went through, I can’t even comprehend.

    We’ve had our pushchair for 2 years, but icandy were only aware of this manufacturing fault in January (this year). Apparently John Lewis (where we brought ours) and mothercare were notified and we should have been made aware of the problem and issued with a new safety bar….we were NOT made aware and NEVER received a replacement bar. John lewis do not have this recall on their website. The fault is a missing safety cap!

    Our girl has a fractured index finger bone and a severe wound. I decided not to post a photo of the finger itself, as it is extremely disturbing. However, these 2 photos are of my little girls blood ridden outfit and my t shirt…this gives you some idea of the severity of the injury.

    If you know anyone with an early model of the icandy orange…please make them aware immediately. Thanks for reading…

    Leon Delegate

  • Poem For Children To Encourage Murdering Siblings

    Kayla Sykes has taken to Facebook with concerns over a poem published.

    Sykes said “If you happen to shop at Costco please do not buy the children’s book “No More Poems.” It includes a horrifying poem with specific details on how to kill your younger sibling. It’s absolutely disgusting. I hope this posts reaches Costco and the publisher, as the author Rhett Miller has blocked me on Facebook.

    Talk about putting ideas in a child’s head. I’m so disgusted this was even published. The publisher of this book is Little, Brown and Company”

    The first verse of the poem read “Brotherly Love,

    Please don’t push your brother out the window, little miss.

    I know he’s asking for it I am quite aware of this but if you push your brother out the window he’ll go splat and once he’s squished there isn’t any coming back from that”

    Poem For Children To Encourage Murdering Siblings
    Poem For Children To Encourage Murdering Siblings

    one verse reads “If you take a pillow and smother brothers head, ive got a strong suspicion that he might wake up dead, or worse he’d be a vegetable oh bitter irony. He hasn’t eaten one of those in his whole history”

     

    What are your thoughts? Is this book too much or no worse than traditional fairy tales about plaques, deaths and murders

     

  • Please Vaccinate Your Children I Beg You

    PLEASE READ AND SHARE WITH ALL PARENTS. THANK YOU.

    The Doctors and Nurses at Chelsea West hospital have asked if we will share photos of Alba to educate about vaccinations.

    Posting these heartbreaking images of our beautiful baby girl who contracted MEASLES is extremely difficult, we are still in hospital 8 days after being admitted.

    She was too young for her MMR vaccination when she got sick which meant she has had to fight this killer virus with no immunity.

    Measles is not “just a rash” it can cause blindness, encephalitis and pneumonia.

    We need to do more people. Get your children vaccinated.

    Please Vaccinate Your Children I Beg You
    Please Vaccinate Your Children I Beg You

    The MMR does not cause life threatening issues like Measles does. Your babies might feel under the weather for a day or so but believe me you’d accept that over what we have been through.

    It has been absolutely horrific watching our daughter fight this with her eyes swollen shut for 4 days. She has been in the dark, scared with a high fever that lasted for over two weeks. In hospital she has been scanned, X-rayed poked prodded bloods taken, lumbar punctures done, canulars fitted, swabs taken, ECG Eccos, obs done every 20 mins, tube fed, on a drip, oxygen, pumped full of drugs, anti inflammatory pain relief antibiotics you name it she’s had it. The truth is this all could have been prevented if the protection layer of older kids above Alba had been vaccinated.

    Educate yourselves, talk about it, spread the word SHARE THIS POST. Do whatever you need to do because without the care of Chelsea and west Doctors our beautiful baby would not be here today.

    All of the tests that were done in hospital were imperative to determine what was wrong with Alba, even though the Doctors thought it was measles from the start she deteriorated fast and was extremely poorly. Alba was also showing symptoms of Kawasaki disease, possible meningitis and of course secondary infections amongst other illnesses that come with measels.

    ***THIS POST IS ABOUT EDUCATING PEOPLE ABOUT MEASLES AND WHAT THE VIRUS CAN DO TO TINY VULNERABLE BODIES***

    We appreciate all the love and support coming our way. Thank you ♥️

    #healthprotectionteam #mmr #getvaccinated

    Credit Jilly Moss

     

  • The Devastating Affects Of A Stroke

    Some of you will know us, many of you won’t. Below, on the left, is a picture of me and my husband Geoff from November 2018, all dressed up ready for a going ‘out out’ evening.

    On the right is me and him yesterday in Queens Hospital. Why you might ask? Well let me tell you our story and ask that you please share it far and wide to help raise awareness of the catastrophe that struck us almost 3 weeks ago.

    Geoff was a very fit, 48 year old man who adored and worked hard for his family as most of us do. He went to the gym 3 times a week, didn’t have high BP or cholestrerol, never smoked, ate reasonably healthy and drank alcohol in moderation. On 28th March, I came downstairs to find he had had what we very quickly discovered to be a hemorrhagic stroke, the worse kind and one which only strikes around 15% of people.

    In the early hours of Saturday 30th March, he underwent an emergency life saving craniectomy at Queens in Romford, the most specialist for Neuro in the South and possibly the country. As a result he now only really has the right side of his skull and a little on the left.

    He remained in Neuro critical care for 11 days before being transferred to the acute ward at Queens where he is waiting for a bed on Broomfield’s stroke ward to begin his rehabilitation. It is looking likely that he will be transferred after some time and after a cranioplasty to replace his skull, to a specialist rehab unit where they will hopefully be able to work on his major impairments more closely.

    This time last week, he was still on a ventilator in critical care. In his 4 days on the acute ward, his progress has been simply astounding. He has some speech, but not much understanding, he can play games, he can draw, he can sing, he can feed himself and most importantly, he can say ‘I love you’. The three little words that are thrown around so much but not always with real meaning.

    Our road ahead is a majorly long one and one we never dreamed we would travel as this wasn’t how our lives were ‘meant to be’. Geoff and I have only been together for 11 years and married for nearly 9. He truly is my soulmate and my best friend, I’m not posting this for sympathy. I want to share my story with you all to raise awareness of the devastating effects of stroke and offer you the advice to hug and love those near and dear to you just that little bit tighter. Please can I ask that you keep sharing our story and when I have time, I will set up a page where hopefully you will all be interested in following his recovery. Thank you and god bless you all x

    Jo Smith

  • Jenny The Famous Happy Horse

    If Your feeling down today then may be hearing about the lovely Jenny could perk you up.

    Every morning in Frankfurt, Germany, you might catch a glimpse of Jenny, a horse who goes on a long walk every morning, all by herself. She has been taking the same route every morning for 14 years, ever since her owner, now 79 years old, became unable to ride. She enjoys greeting all of the familiar faces along the way, and she stops and gets treats and pettings from some of her favorite humans. The locals treat her like a celebrity and happily clean up after her.

    A piece of paper is attached to her halter that reads, “My name is Jenny. I didn’t run away, I’m just walking. Thank you.” But the police get calls frequently from people who don’t know about the arrangement. They are very familiar with the horse and the owner, and there have been no incidents in 14 years. A local veterinarian gives her routine checkups and continues to find her to be healthy and showing no anxiety about her unique lifestyle.

    Anyone else tempted to move there just to see jenny every morning?

  • We Convince Ourselves We Will Be Happier When..

    We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough, and we’ll be more content when they are.

    After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our partner gets his or her act together when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice holiday, when we retire.

    The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

    Your life will always be filled with challenges.

    It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

    A quote comes from Alfred D. Souza. He said,

    “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”

    This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.

    So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time…and remember that time waits for no one.

    So, stop waiting until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until winter, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink…. there is no better time than right now to be happy.

    Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

    Work like you don’t need money,

    Love like you’ve never been hurt,

    And dance like no one’s watching.

    Credit Jessica LaRose

  • SATs What A Waste Of Time-An Open Letter

    Dear Damian Hinds,

    Hi there. How’re you doing? Well, I hope.

    I wanted to write to you, because I have something on my mind. You see, my son Jamie, he’s eleven, and he’s in Year 6 at school.

    As you will no doubt have already surmised, what with being Education Secretary, Jamie is about to take his SATS. Now, he goes to an amazing school, with some incredible teachers. As are almost all teachers, and if you would like to read my thoughts on what the Department for Education are getting quite so badly wrong when it comes to upwards of 40% of teachers deciding they have no choice but to leave front line teaching altogether, perhaps I could encourage you to scroll back down my timeline and read the post I wrote on Thursday on precisely that topic. In particular, please read the hundreds of comments that post attracted, from teachers who are, quite simply, at breaking point.

    I digress. Jamie is about to take his SATS, and the school have taken an entirely sensible approach to preparing for such an utterly pointless set of Government devised hoop-jumping, encouraging the children to relax and enjoy their Easter break, not spend it studying.

    That notwithstanding, Jamie did come home with a couple of sample test papers to have a go at. And, out of curiosity, I picked one of these up to take a look.

    If I pause for a moment, Mr Hinds, to give you a brief overview of my own academic prowess. By any standards, I would have been described as “bright” when I was at school. I have two As and eight A*s at GCSE, AAB at A Level, a 2:1 BA (Hons) and a Distinction in my postgraduate qualification. Specifically – and relevant to the below – I achieved an A in English Language/Literature combined at A Level. Oh, and I’m also a published author.

    Let me share with you, a sample of the questions I read in Jamie’s paper:

    ***

    QUESTION 1:

    Circle the relative pronoun in the sentence below.

    “It’s too rainy for the picnic today, which is a shame.”

    QUESTION 2:

    Circle all the determiners in the sentence below.

    “The man’s hair was very long, so my uncle cut it using a pair of the clippers he owns.”

    QUESTION 3:

    Underline the subordinate clause in this sentence.

    “I don’t need a school dinner today because I have brought sandwiches.”

    QUESTION 4:

    Circle the modal verb in this sentence:

    “If I can leave early, I would like to meet Anna at the park, as she said she might be there.”

    QUESTION 5:

    Tick one box to show whether the word ‘before’ is used as a preposition or a subordinating conjunction:

    “We left the cinema before the film had ended.”

    “Simon finished before Paul in the race.”

    “Train tickets are often cheaper before 9am.”

    ***

    I could go on. There are many, many more, all in the same vein.

    Now I ask you, Mr Hinds. Can you honestly say that, without the aid of Google, you would be able to answer all of those correctly? That you could identify a relative pronoun, a determiner, a subordinate clause, a modal verb, a preposition, and a subordinating conjunction?

    Because I sure as hell couldn’t.

    My boy is eleven. ELEVEN. He is naturally bright, capable and switched on. I am actually one of the lucky parents, in that his primary response to his SATS has been to simply switch off from education. To ask me, quite openly: “What’s the point, Mum? Why do we have to bother learning this? When is any of it going to be useful?” And I was honest with him. Because it isn’t going to be useful, not unless he chooses to become a professor of linguistics. Being able to write fluently and create compelling communications is absolutely useful; I would go so far as to say it’s a vital skill. But do you need to be able to identify a modal verb and the lesser spotted fronted adverbial as you do so? No. You absolutely do not.

    You might ask why I’ve referred to myself as lucky in the paragraph above. How can my son choosing to switch off from education because of the pointless information the Department for Education has decided he must learn be lucky?

    But that’s because I’ve seen how much worse it can be. I had my daughter – just eight – in floods of tears the other night because she couldn’t tell the difference between a complex and a compound sentence. I reassured her, neither could I. I have heard stories of kids sick with anxiety, becoming withdrawn, their mental health permanently affected because of the almost impossible expectations the DfE have set out for them.

    And don’t get me started on what it does for the teachers, trying to keep their own mental health together while simultaneously seeking to help their classes meet those impossible expectations and working every hour there is just to keep their heads above water.

    Something has to change. Something has to change, now. And I beg you, please: be that change we need to see. It doesn’t have to be like this. There can be a different way.

    Children need to learn, and they need to work hard. Nobody ever said that life was easy. But you have got the balance so very, very wrong. We have a duty to redress that balance, and I am asking you, please, as Education Secretary, to make that happen. Not to pay lip service. Not to trot out meaningless platitudes. Not to ignore the voices of so many, as I have observed frequently happening on your social media channels. But to commit to delivering wholesale change, to get our education system back to being one where students and teachers alike can thrive.

    And to consign the concept of primary-aged children being able to identify a fronted adverbial in a sentence to the bin, which is frankly where it belongs.

    Yours,

    Kathryn Wallace, blogger at I Know, I Need To Stop Talking

    Credit:

    www.instagram.com/iknowineedtostoptalkingblog

    www.twitter.com/IKINTST

  • Cucumbers Solving So Many Life Problems-Game Changer

    Cucumbers… I didn’t know this…& to think all these years I’ve

    only been making salads with the cucumbers… 💕

    WHAT A LITTLE GEM THE CUCUMBER IS. I WILL LOOK

    AT IT DIFFERENTLY NOW. 😝

    1.

    Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

    2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

    3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

    4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give

    off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

    5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a

    Few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!

    6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

    7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers

    have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

    8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don’t have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks

    great but also repels water.

    9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

    10.Stressed out and don’t have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

    11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don’t have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemicals will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

    12. Looking for a ‘green’ way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the

    shine, but is won’t leave streaks and won’t harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.

    13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!

    Pass this along to everybody you know who is looking for better and safer ways to solve life’s everyday problems.

    Credit Ria-Jayne Byerley