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Sometimes We Survive The Day And Consider That Progress

Honest feelings. I am sure many will relate.

Laying here today while Lauren and little Zea slept I had these thoughts run through my mind.

Ya know when you have these underlying thoughts that seem to stay with you?

Some days are good, some days are tough.

SO tough..

I guess you call it parenthood right? Or just life..

“Enjoy holding her while she sleeps, because one day it will be the last time”. – A friend said that to me as a way to remind myself how precious each moment is, even when Zea is crying and it feels utterly impossible to get anything done other than just survive the day.

Sometimes we just gotta survive the day and consider that progress.

All the questions that run through my mind..

How do I manage the stress and pull between working to provide and to be present emotionally and love. How do I step away from the phone and computer and not think about life’s pressures of being an adult.

Which brings the deeper questions..

Am I a good father?

Am I a good husband?

What if I am not enough.

How do I love Lauren more and be there for her more during her motherhood journey, when I struggle myself at times?

Wanting to be all the things, to everyone so badly and the frustration that ensues from that when I can’t.

These questions I feel like are the first layer.

As I dig below I think it ultimately leads to this idea of death and separation. It scares me, it’s even hard to talk about it here.

This fear of being apart with something you love so so much.

My fear for her and her own death someday..

And hoping that it is a long long way away, far beyond my time & she lives a beautiful full life.

To my own death and desperately wanting and needing to feel like I have “it” figured life out, realizing I never will – but still clinging to some insane hope.

Not even sure what “it” actually is..

Becoming a parent is life changing on so many levels. It is so freakin hard at times too. One thing I know is it has forced me to look deeper into myself.

“Enjoy holding her while she sleeps, because one day it will last time”.

Then I think to myself..

We can see that with everything in life.

The last laugh, the last cry, the last kiss, the last “I love you”.

Then I come back to this moment as she sleeps.

Her little head resting on my chest.

Lauren beside us both.

It brings tears of happiness to my eyes knowing I can feel so deeply, even if its pain at times.. With that deeper pain, comes a deeper love too.

I am realizing now I have to express it more physically. I think men (I know this is true for me) tend to block off, shut down and detach to some extent emotionally because we fear not being good enough.

We fear not raising our kids right.

That we aren’t as present with our partner as we know we need to be.

We aren’t as connected.

All the while deep down – we fear death and being apart from them.

We bury it in striving and achieving.

In doing “stuff”.

In busy schedules and rushing around.

I know I do.

Providing financial support, but we aren’t always there in the ways we know we should be, but it’s hard to face that vulnerability at times..

That we are also scared too.

But each time I come back to appreciation, even on the days that feel tough, because through this it helps me remember that sometimes just surviving the day matters.

That I might not get all the ‘things’ done..

But I might be there for Lauren & Zea and that is enough. Tomorrow will come and I will be able to figure tomorrow out when it comes.

The other, bigger questions..

Well that’s life.

Dads out there.. Mothers.. People just trying to figure life out. Know you aren’t alone. It’s such a mirror into our own lives and all the things we need to work on too.

I am grateful for that, even when it hurts..

🙂

Credit https://www.facebook.com/fraser.bayley

June 24, 2019
Seconds Away From Kidnapping-Parents Be Vigilant

This is my beautiful little 2 year old boy who today was seconds away from being kidnapped by a group of asian men and women and after thinking about it they were pretty cunning the way they were doing it.

We had simply had our dinner and told our boys that they could go on the rides after they had eaten, we headed down to the front and got the tokens for them to enjoy the rest of their day little did me and my wife know that within an hour our day would turn into hell.

It was around 2.30 and our boys had been on the rides they wanted and where ready to go back to the pavillion to go back in the play area literally 30 seconds had passed and our boy had nearly gone.

Here is the cunning part It started with me and our new born being nearly knocked into the sea my wife at the side of us and our 4 and 2 year olds 5 yards infront they barged into me whilst I was pushing the pram to cause a distraction then quickly headed towards our boy luckily for us my wife had not taken her eyes off the boys and noticed almost instantly that something wasnt right.

They had gone straight to our son surronded him so that no one could see and tried to get hold of him what they didnt realise is that my wife had not taken her eye off him and she was their in a flash dragging him away and back to our safety. As soon as she shouted me they split and went off in different directions.

It was only 20 minutes after this when talking to the police and taking statements that we realised they had been stood behind us following us for at least 30 minutes the woman was even pushing a empty pushchair that is used to put a child in buckle them up covering them up with the hood and make it look like it is their child crying in the pushchair

I ask anyone that as young children please be very vigilant when out with your children like I say its literally was 30 seconds and he was nearly gone as parents who have had a child pass away 5 years ago it was pretty traumatic for my wife thinking that we had nearly lost another one of our beautiful children

Stay safe out their

Credit https://www.facebook.com/john.grainger.3910

June 24, 2019
Because You Didn’t Want To Lose Him, You Lost Yourself

Because you didn’t want to lose him, you lost yourself in the process.

You became a girl who kept being mistreated and you formed a habit of saying “I’m used to it”. You became a girl who kept being unappreciated and you began to tell yourself “It’s okay”.

You became a girl who kept being undervalued and you learned how to say “I’m fine”. You became a girl who kept being put last and you naturally reacted with “It’s whatever”. You became a girl who kept being taken for granted and you dealt with it by repeating “Everything’s okay”.

You became a girl who kept being unhappy and you regularly told people “I’m gonna be fine”. And if you’re reading this right now, then you need to understand that no guy is worth losing yourself for, no guy is worth suffering for at the expense of your happiness, and no guy is worth tormenting yourself over for the sake of making him happy.

At this point, perhaps losing him is the only way you’d be able to get yourself back because as much as you wouldn’t want this to be true, he’s the only thing that’s in your way of finding yourself and he’s the only reason you’ve lost yourself for so long.

Credit https://www.facebook.com/vikki.gattuso

June 24, 2019
I Wish Mummy Didn’t Kill Me

I wish mummy didn’t kill me!

This is a story about a young boy with a huge heart. And it’s a story that everyone should read and share.
The story is about James, but ultimately, it isn’t about him. It is, about millions of other children like James, living the same nightmare across the entire world today.

This story of James is fictional, its message hit me right in the heart . We must not ignore this issue or message.

We must not forget James.
My name is James and I am 6-years-old. I love my mummy and daddy, but I’m also very scared of them. They often hit me and I don’t understand or know why.

This morning I woke up and went to school. I am good learning and do as I’m told and my teacher likes me.

I like all my classmates, too, but I have no friends. That’s why I usually stay indoors during breaks. Nobody wants to play with me. I tried to make friends with the other children, but they said No and also said I was disgusting.

They laugh at me because I wear the same worn-out jeans, t-shirt and torn shoes every day.

One day after school I went into the coat room and stole a jacket that was hanging there for a long time, nobody seemed to be missing it. Then I went home alone through the snowstorm. I was shivering with cold and it was hard to walk against the strong wind. Suddenly someone pushed me forward, I fell down in the snow and someone pressed my face into it. Then they said:

“No one likes you. Idiot!”

They kicked me in my back and in my stomach, then they ran away and left me in the cold snow.

I cried. Not because I was cold or injured, I cried because I did not have a single friend, even though I liked everyone else.

As soon as I got home, my mummy ran over and grabbed me by the hair.

“Where have you been? Why are you so wet and dirty? Bloody kid, no dinner for you, go to your room and stay there.”

I did as my mummy told me, I went into my room and did not get out until the next day, although I was very hungry and freezing cold.

My school work got worse and worse, and every time daddy was informed, he hit me hard. Once he hit me so hard that I could not move my index finger, I never got back the movement in my index finger and all the children laughed at me for it.

Time went by and one day I got a lot of pain in my chest.

Mummy and daddy did not care I was hurt. In the evening I lay in my bed and I only wanted one thing. I wish I would not hurt more, because I did not want to annoy Mummy and Daddy. I love them so much, I really do.

The next day at school we were told to paint our biggest dream. The other children painted cars, rockets and nice dolls. I did not.

Not because I don’t like those things, but because what I wished for most of all was a loving mummy and daddy. So I painted a family. One mummy, one daddy and their son. They played games and everyone was happy. As I painted, I cried silently. I would love to have a mummy and daddy who loved me.

When it was my turn to show my painting for the class, everyone laughed at me.

I stood in front of the class and explained:

“My biggest dream is a loving family”.

The laughs got louder. I began to cry and said,

“Please don’t laugh at me, this is my biggest dream! You can hit me, you can hate me, but I beg you, please don’t laugh at me.

want parents like you have, that hug and laugh with me, who pick me up after school and are happy to see me. I know I’m ugly and weak, I know I have a crooked finger, but please don’t laugh at me.”

The teacher tried to wipe my tears, I think some children understood me, but many continued to laugh.

One day when I got a test back, I immediately saw that I had a bad result. I knew my mummy would be very upset.

I was afraid to go home, but I did not know where else I would go. I slowly walked home, but I did not want to arrive. My mummy became furious.

She grabbed me and threw me on the floor, I hit my leg hard on a chair.

Then she hit me in my head twice. I just lay there, I could not get up. It really hurt. But mummy just left me there on the floor.

When she came back she told me to clean up the mess, otherwise when Daddy came home he would really beat me.

I begged Mummy not to say anything to him, but when I looked up, I saw that he was already in the doorway.

When Mummy told him about the test, he pulled me up from the floor, he shook me and hit my face.

I don’t remember anything after this. I woke up in the hospital. I looked at my hand, I could not touch any of my five fingers. I looked out the window and cried.

Outside, I saw parents playing with their children, throwing balls together and hugging.

Do you know why I cried?

I don’t know how a hug from my mom feels like. My parents just beat me, but I love them anyway. I’ve always done my best, I’ve been good at school, but they do not like me still.

One day I spilled some of my water, then they hit me again.

Suddenly I got pain in my chest again. I told my mummy – but she did not care. After a while, I had to go to the hospital again, no one came and saw me.

The doctor said that mum and dad would probably come the next day, but they did not. I waited and waited, but nobody came. I love my parents anyway.

Two days later, James died of his injuries. In his hand the doctors found a letter that he had not written clearly.

“Dear mummy and daddy, I’m terrified because I’m ugly, disgusting and stupid. I’m sorry because you can not love me.

I never wanted to annoy you. All I wanted was to get a hug and hug from mummy, and hear that you loved me once. Daddy I just wanted you to play with me, hold my hand for a walk or sing for me.

I know I’m a shame for you. I will never be those things.“

Then James’s little heart stopped.

This story was originally written in Russian. I’m not sure if it’s been true, but I think that matters little. It’s incredibly important anyway!

All children are entitled to be loved. Still child abuse happens every second, every minute, every hour and every day. In all countries, all cities and all schools.

A child’s home should be free from violence and a safe place. Children need love, tenderness and closeness, and a hug can sometimes be worth a lot more than you could ever imagine.

Please share this story with all your friends on Facebook to remind everyone that no child should ever feel hurt or unloved.

If you suspect a child is being abuse don’t hesitate in reporting it: https://www.gov.uk/report-child-abuse

June 17, 2019
Starbucks We Need To Talk These Need A Warning Label

Starbucks, we need to have a f*cking talk.

Whoever invented these things needs to go to f*cking prison for not supplying a warning label.

I am an avid coffee drinker. Several cups a day nearly every day, for at least, bare minimum, 7 years. I have taken high content caffeine supplements before to keep me going. I am no stranger to caffeine. I like the energy jolt.

When I go to an actual Starbucks, I often order a venti caramel macchiato with a triple shot of espresso and I am fine. I am energized and productive. I feel good and alert.

But this? This is not the same espresso. There’s no f*cking way.

This? Whoever on your team designed this drink deserves to go to hell.

I bought one of these today as I did on opening shift at work. I saw this and decided to purchase it because it was new and the double shot canned drinks have been starting to lose their effect on me. I figured that this would make me far more productive than if I had gotten the double. I was wrong.

After the first hour (at 10am), I started to get jittery. Nothing too alarming, as I always get jitters no matter how much caffeine I take in shortly after I have it. However, from there it did not fade. It only got worse.

By 10:30, I was running around the store like a f*cking crazy person. My hands were shaking so badly that I could barely run the register. I was typing at lightning speed and I could probably have run up a wall. I was quite literally vibrating. I had finished cleaning tasks that normally take me until about 1pm.

By 11, the world around me seemed like it was moving in slow motion compared to how I was existing in the world. Time was no longer real. I could see sounds and hear colours.

By noon, I was manually breathing and was barley blinking, only blinking when my eyes were dry as shit because this hell drink stimulated me so heavily that my body suddenly forgot how a body was supposed to work. My teeth would not stop grinding. I could not be still for a moment out of fear that I might have imploded.

By 12:30, I suddenly developed an overwhelming need to shit. In addition to focusing on remembering to breathe and blink, I was concerned I would vomit, shit my pants, or possibly even both.

By 1pm, I felt like I could lift a f*cking mack truck. If someone had tried to rob me at gun point then I probably would have been capable of plucking bullets out of the air. I was visibly vibrating and still manually breathing and blinking. I could feel my heartbeat in every part of my body. I could see microorganisms in the air. I could hear the refrigerators at the Winn Dixie across the plaza where I bought this fucking hell beverage. I thought that if I died at 21 it would be because of alcohol poisoning or a car accident or a mugging but instead I’m going to go out because a fucking Starbucks beverage gave me the strength to lift a mack truck

By 1:30, I began experiencing bouts of crying from fear. I was still manually breathing and blinking and was painfully aware of my veins. I was still concerned I may shit my pants. Payton brought me some pizza for lunch and I devoured it as well chugged 3 bottles of water, praying to the old gods and the new for some salvation. The ingredients in your hell drink laughed at me, unaffected by my attempts to cancel out the effects of what I think may be actual crack in this can.

By 2pm, I had abandoned all hope of salvation. I was clenching my butthole and doing breathing exercises, counting down the last hour before my shift ended. My veins were throbbing and I was dizzy. I have never regretted a purchase more in my life.

It is now 4:30. I am finally experiencing a caffeine crash unlike anything I’ve previously felt. I fear I am going to die. My heart rate has returned to normal but dueto it almost exploding this morning, I am concerned it may stop.

Starbucks, today I experienced ego death. I met God today and he laughed in my face.

Death does not ride in on a pale horse. He comes in a can of Starbucks caramel triple shot coffee.

Credit. https://www.facebook.com/SabasaurusRex

June 17, 2019
PIP Payment Is Going To Kill Me

Well the government have done brilliantly on this decision to make everyone who receives pip (personal independent payment ) local government have decided if you are entitled to enhanced rates they will be taking £9 this year towards your care package plus what ever else they decide.

For example they asked me to contribute £12.56 Jan 2019, in April 2019 they said no you don’t pay enough so it’s going up to £17.56 but just had a letter informing me that I now have to pay from July 22nd 2019 £50.06 all of these amounts are weekly so my choice is eat once a day and die quicker because I won’t survive without the help.

I have complexed disabilities which I pay for lots of extras on top of normal utility bills etc I live alone so single income of employment support allowance and personal independence payments housing benefit and council tax support but I also get bedroom taxed and pay towards my council tax I am in a mess and no appeals can be made about the amount I have to pay even though it states on the letter if you have extra payments for items you can ask for it to be taken into account.

They were called today and they stated no appeals but the letter states different so confused fed up scared not looking forward to the future I already have a rare lung disease which is not treatable only manageable but it is progressive so nobody knows how long I have or what the future holds I have been in intensive care 4 times this year so far it’s disgusting making disabled feel responsible for the cost to each local government

Credit https://www.facebook.com/lisamcharman

June 17, 2019
Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Drink Energy Drinks

Did you know…

For every 20 ounce Monster you drink, it takes 6.3 gallons of water to flush it out of your kidneys. 😳 It would take the average person more than 14 days to consume that much water.

For every 20 ounce Sugar Free Red Bull you drink, it takes nearly a gallon of water to flush it out of your kidneys. 😳 The average person drinks less than a gallon of plain drinking water in 2 days.

☠️ Energy drinks hyperstimulate your adrenal glands to increase hydrocortisone and adrenalin production, and then the GABA amino acid comes in to suppress the hyperstimulation so you don’t feel jittery. All this extra work for your adrenal glands can lead to adrenal fatigue or crash. The extra hydrocortisone your adrenal glands are producing makes you resistant to insulin.

☠️ Throw in all those artificial sweeteners that energy drinks contain, and your pancreas will be working overtime. This can lead to weight gain that shows up specifically in the abdomen. All of this hyperstimulation and production can cause metabolic syndrome, the initial symptoms of which include abdominal obesity, hypertension, diabetes, and high cholesterol. As metabolic syndrome progresses, it leads to heart disease, stroke, kidney failure, and nerve damage.

😦Each energy drink contains anywhere between 40 to 240 mg of caffeine in them. While they might increase mental alertness for a few hours, energy drinks have also been known to cause irregular heartbeat, anxiety, jitters, increased blood pressure and thickening of the blood.

😱Additionally, a 2015 study published in the Journal of Medical Cases found that consuming energy drinks can induce cardiac arrest.💔

Have you ever poured a Red Bull or Monster into milk… it curdles in virtually no time 🤢 Seriously there are some nasty videos out there about this 🤮 Just think of what it does to your insides!

Mixing energy drinks and alcohol has been deadly.

Drink smart. Teach your kids about these facts. Fortunately we all have better options!

Credit https://www.facebook.com/gazprevost/

June 17, 2019
Ten Commandments For Interacting With Kids On The Autism Spectrum

Ten Commandments for Interacting With Kids On The Autism Spectrum…

1. Thou shall not yell when speaking to me.

My disability does not impair my hearing and I am extremely bright. Perhaps even brighter than you are.

2. Thou shall not ignore me, talk negatively about me, speak unnaturally slow, or ask questions to others in the room that pertain to me. I can comprehend what you are saying just fine.

3. Thou shall believe in me and help me believe in my skills and self worth. Note the good in me and do not merely point out my negative behaviors. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.

4. Thou shall not perceive me as dumb.

I am extremely intelligent. I do not learn in the same way as you, and maybe not as quickly as you expect me to. Have patience with me. Once I recall information, I never forget.

5. Thou shall not judge my behavior.

I can get overstimulated in certain environments. I may be hypersensitive to sound and loud noises may hurt my ears. Fluorescent lights are distracting for me. They have a humming noise, and can pulsate. All the noises in a room can blur together. Please make accommodations to help me.

6. Thou shall not be so quick to scold me.

Do not tell me that “I know what I did”. I do not. Tell me what my infraction was in a simple, concise manner. I want to please you, but I have difficulties inferring meaning within a vague statement. For instance, do not say please clean up your bedroom. Tell me exactly what you want, such as ‘Please make your bed and pick up your toys”.

7. Thou shall not compare me to others.

Please remind me, and note the talents that I possess. This increases my confidence and positive self worth. Learning disabled or not, we ALL have talents to contribute within society. I need you to help me realize what mine is. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.

8. Thou shall not exclude me from activities.

Please do not mimic me, ignore me, or bully me. Please invite me to play with you. It hurts my feelings when I am excluded. I like to run and jump in the playground, and be invited to birthday parties too. Grownups can help me make friends by encouraging other children to play with me. I can be a loyal friend if you get to

know me.

9. Thou shall give me choices.

I do not like being ordered about any more than the other children. Give me choices so I know you value my capabilities and opinions. Make them simple and concise. Present two options or so. I get confused when too many questions or directions are given at one time due to my processing speed. For instance, ask me if I would like to wear my blue sweater or green one, rather than asking which sweater I would like to wear.

10. Thou shall not judge me by my diagnosis, but by my character.

I am an individual, just like other children.

June 17, 2019
Imagine Feeling So Lost You Hug A Stranger

PARENTS.

A handful of us went to the Pittsburgh Pride Parade today, sporting our FREE DAD HUGS and FREE MOM HUGS t-shirts. We gave out hundreds of hugs. Hundreds. Some were super happy hugs. But others were like these two… and there were way too many like them.

Let me tell you about these two.

He was kicked out at 19 when his parents found out. They haven’t spoken to him since. He cried on my shoulder. Sobbed. Squeezed me with everything he had. I felt a tiny bit of that pain that he carries with him every minute of every day. He was abandoned because of who he loves. And on June 9th, 2019, he was participating in a celebration of love when he was brought to his emotional knees by a shirt that said “FREE DAD HUGS” on a complete stranger.

Her story? I don’t know the specifics. But I know that she saw me from across the street. I wasn’t paying attention. By the time she got to me, she had tears in her eyes. She stood in front of me and looked up at me, with a look of sadness and helplessness that I’ll never forget. She hugged me with everything she had. And I hugged her back.

She held on for so long, melting into me, and thanked me endlessly. And I can’t stop thinking about her. What she must be going thru with her family… the ones who are supposed to be there for her no matter what. Who does she go to when she needs advice on love, money or just life? Who does she share old memories with that only her parents would have been there for? What are her holidays like? How often does she hope for that phone call, with unconditional love on the other end? I don’t know her story. But it doesn’t feel like a huge leap to assume she’s lost those who should love her the most and forever.

Imagine that, parents. Imagine that your child feels SO LOST FROM YOU that they sink into the arms of a complete stranger and sob endlessly just because that stranger is wearing a shirt offering hugs from a dad. Think of the depths of their pain. Try to imagine how deep those cuts must be.

Please don’t be the parent of a child that has to shoulder that burden. I met WAY too many of them, of all ages, today.

And if by chance anyone knows these folks, please let them know they can reach out any time they need a surrogate dad to talk to. I’ll be there.

Credit https://www.facebook.com/howiedittman

June 17, 2019
How Did Your Body Become A Stranger

No one really prepares you for what it’s like not to have your baby inside you anymore. All of a sudden, you look and feel different. How did your body become a stranger?

Your stomach is loose and striped. Your boobs are saggy, one more than the other. Hair unwashed, bags under your eyes. Even your hips are wider than before. Who is this woman looking back at you in the mirror?

She is a mother.

She sacrificed her body and mind for another being. She grew life, she brought it into this world and now she continues to sustain it. This body, this unfamiliar body, is amazing! The things it’s done, the pain its endured all made it stronger. She should not be ashamed of her body for her body is incredible.

You are amazing. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are more than enough.

You are a mother.

~ Author: Unknown

June 17, 2019