Welcome to Mums Advice

Category: Our stories

  • I Washed The Orange Cup Today

    Before I begin, this post is not seeking sympathy. It is merely trying to shed a little light on the total weirdness and unpredictability of grief. Those who have experienced deep loss already know. But for those who have not:

    I washed the orange cup today.

    “The orange cup” is not a metaphor. It’s a small, plastic cup—one of several in a multicolored set. It is small, and just perfect for the bathroom sink. It’s just big enough for a sip of water in the middle of the night, or to wash down daily meds. I had not washed it since before January 1st. Before you get too grossed out I had not used it either. You see, that little orange cup is the last thing in the house that Mark’s lips touched on January 1st, before he was loaded into an ambulance never to return.

    I had picked up the orange cup several times before, thinking it was time to wash it and put it away. But each time it wasn’t. I would hug that little cup, cry a little (or a lot) and return it to the counter next to the sink. It wasn’t time to wash it—until today.

    Today, I washed the cup.

    When my mother died, her house coat (bath robe) was hanging on the back of the door in the bathroom. When my Dad died 5 years later, it still hung in the same spot. He had given away or tossed a lot of Mom’s items, but just not that house coat. Had he lived another 10 years, I think that it may still have been there… or maybe not.

    Deep, profound grief is just weird. So, keep that in mind when you wonder why grieving people do (or don’t do) what you think they should do, or what seems normal. Grief is really weird. They’re just not ready to wash the cup.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/amy.b.rejmer

  • He Was Taken From My Arms Screaming And Crying

    The last time I held my 20 month old son, and saw his eyes open was at 9pm on 3/3 as he was taken from my arms screaming and crying as he was rushed back to surgery to remove what we thought was a nickel stuck in his throat. It has felt like a lifetime going without his hugs, kisses and hearing his sweet voice. I never imagined how important those little lips and arms meant to me until they were taken away from me.

    I have contemplated sharing his story because I felt only the immediate family needed to know the critical situation my son is in. But as I keep talking to nurses and replaying the night it all happened I feel it’s only right to share with all my friends and family and their families and friends so that this can never happen to anyone’s young child ever again.

    It started as a normal night. My husband was outside grilling burgers while I was cooking food in preparation for the burgers. In a split second our night changed as our son knocked on the glass door proudly showing his daddy what he had in his mouth. My husband jumped up immediately opening the door but just as fast as my husband acted so did my son. My son ran away swallowing what appeared to be a nickel. My husband yells for me saying he swallowed a coin. Being a nurse, I quickly assess my son for signs of choking. He was breathing and still pink. He didn’t seem to be struggling. He was crying, screaming “quarter, momma!” (He calls all coins quarter). He then begins to gag and vomit intermittently telling me it has not passed through his throat.


    We rush him to the ER where they take an x-ray showing the coin in the middle of his throat. Docs were reassuring about the coin. All we needed was for it to be taken out and we’d be able to go home that night. No big deal.
    Afterwards, we were sent to Children’s hospital where they take another X-ray to make sure the coin had not traveled further.
    This time the surgeons come back with a different demeanor. They asked if there was any chance our son had access to a button battery? My husband and I look at each other and immediately said no, absolutely not. No way.
    And immediately it hit me. My food scale. We were weighing our food as we cooked and somehow my son got ahold of it and was banging it on the kitchen floor. I remember my mother-in-law yelling at him and removing it from him. But we didn’t think to look for the battery from the back. Maybe others would’ve but it didn’t even cross our minds to look for a battery we so rarely see.

    So reality began to sink in because this is possibly the worst thing he could’ve swallowed.

    He Was Taken From My Arms Screaming And Crying
    He Was Taken From My Arms Screaming And Crying

    My son was rushed to the OR and prepped for surgery at 9pm. The surgery was supposed to take 15-30 min but after an hour we finally got a call from the nurse saying the surgeon is having trouble removing the battery so they have called in the ENT surgeons for assistance. An hour later we received another call saying the battery was removed and he was moved up to the PICU.

    The Surgeons were reassuring, the battery was removed after 5 hours of ingestion so minimal damage occurred but we wouldn’t know the extent of damage until the MRI 24 hours later.

    My son is currently in the PICU intubated, on pain meds, antibiotics and sedation. We received the MRI results last night which were not as bad as it could’ve been but still bad. We were told he is on the better end of the “horrible scale”
    The positive end of the battery apparently created a charge with the negative charge in the blood of the vessel behind his esophagus. This created a magnet between the battery and blood. The battery began to erode my sons esophagus tissue, leaving him a hole in his throat. The magnet effect is why the surgeons had such trouble removing it which ultimately led to prolonged exposure and worsening the breakdown of his esophagus. He also has an infection in his chest due to fluids from his mouth and tummy leaking into his chest through his hole, introducing bacteria in a place they should not be.
    We do not know when my son will be extubated. He was supposed to be extubated last night but 24 hours later he is still intubated.
    My sons life has changed so much because of this tiny battery. He will no longer be able to eat or drink through his mouth until this hole heals. My son still breast feeds, he is no where near being ready to stop (his choice, not mine 😁) but because of this injury the decision was made for him and it breaks my heart. He is on antibiotics to cure the current infection he has but will continue to be on antibiotics until his hole closes. We will be under constant monitoring while in the hospital but as well outpatient because our journey doesn’t end once we leave the hospital. We will have continuous ENT follow up appointments to ensure that his scare tissue continues to grow and doesn’t end up causing a stricture which would ultimately narrow his esophagus causing him to choke and gag when consuming things. This would mean another surgery to loosen up the tissue. As well, I’m sure there is much more we are not aware of.

    I’m sharing my son’s story because these tiny batteries are in our everyday household items as well as the toys the kids play with. Most of us wouldn’t think any harm could come from a tiny thing like a button battery but our world couldn’t be rocked more because of the tiny thing. All the surgeons, doctors and nurses say this is not new to them. Children consuming these tiny batteries happens on a daily basis.
    I never knew anything could happen quite like this…. not until it actually happened.

    Please share this story with all your friends and family so our precious little children don’t have to go through what not only my son is currently going through but many other children as well.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/awaggerby

  • The Wicked Witch Was A Kindergarten Teacher

    Margaret Hamilton as the Wicked Witch of the West, 1939. ⁣
    ⁣
    Despite terrifying multiple generations playing the Wicked Witch, Hamilton in real life was a kindergarten teacher who was devoted to the education of children. ⁣
    ⁣
    She was so concerned about the impact her role had on kids that later in life, she even made a guest appearance on Mister Rogers to show kids that she was actually a nice and kind woman. She came wearing regular clothes and on the show, she dressed in the Wicked Witch costume to show the audience that was playing a fictitious character and that it was all make-believe. ⁣She became good friends with Fred Rogers and Mr. McFeely, the delivery man.
    ⁣
    Here’s Hamilton’s own words on being casted as The Wicked Witch: ⁣
    ⁣
    “He [casting director] said they’re sort of interested in you for a part in The Wizard of Oz and I said, ‘Oh gosh, think of that.’ I said, ‘I’ve loved that story from the time I was 4-years old. What is it?’ And he said, ‘Well the Witch.’ And I said, ‘The Witch!?’ And then he said the final thing, ‘Yes, what else?’”⁣

  • How To Fight Covid At Home

    Bl**dy useful post…

    This was shared on a Covid survivor group…have heard many of these before but it seems helpful:

    HOW TO FIGHT COVID AT HOME

    No one ever talks about how to fight Covid at home. I came down with Covid in November. I went to the hospital, running a fever of 103, a rapid heart beat, and other common symptoms that come with Covid. While I was there they treated me for the high fever, dehydration and pneumonia.
    The doctor sent me home to fight Covid with two prescriptions – Azithromycin 250mg & Dexamethason 6mg. When the nurse came in to discharge me, I asked her, “What can I do to help fight this at home?” She said, “Sleep on your stomach at all times with Covid. If you can’t sleep on your stomach because of heath issues sleep on your side. Do not lay on your back no matter what because it smashes your lungs and that will allow fluid to set in.
    Set your clock every two hours while sleeping on your stomach, then get out of bed and walk for 15-30 min, no matter how tired or weak that you are. Also move your arms around frequently, it helps to open your lungs. Breathe in thru your nose, and out thru your mouth. This will help build up your lungs, plus help get rid of the Pneumonia or other fluid you may have.
    When sitting in a recliner, sit up straight – do not lay back in the recliner, again this will smash your lungs. While watching TV – get up and walk during every commercial.
    Eat at least 1 – 2 eggs a day, plus bananas, avocado and asparagus.These are good for Potassium. Drink Pedialyte, Lucozade Zero, Powerade Zero & Water with Electrolytes to prevent you from becoming dehydrated. Do not drink anything cold – have it at room temperature or warm it up. Water with lemon, and little honey, peppermint tea, apple cider are good suggestions for getting in fluids. No milk products, or pork. Vitamin’s D3, C, B, Zinc, Probiotic One-Day are good ideas. Tylenol for fever. Mucinex, or Mucinex DM for drainage, plus helps the cough. Pepcid helps for cramps in your legs. One baby aspirin everyday can help prevent getting a blood clot, which can occur from low activity. “

    Drink a smoothie of blueberries, strawberries, bananas, honey, tea and a spoon or two of peanut butter.

    We always hear of how Covid takes lives, but there isn’t a lot of information out there regarding how to fight Covid. I hope this helps you or someone you know, just as it has helped me.

    Please share

  • I’m The Butt Of All The Family Jokes

    I have a close family member that was diagnosed with colon cancer pretty recently, and it was advised that I get a colonoscopy, since it is now part of my family medical history. I dragged my feet, but decided to finally do it.
    Okay now, if you have done the prep, or know someone who has done the prep, it is no joke! You basically overdose on laxatives, and then chain yourself to the toilet, and hope for the best. I barely survived!!


    Next morning, I go to the hospital for the procedure, and all goes well. After I wake up, the doctor comes to tell me his findings. He tells me that I have a very healthy colon, no polyps, or cancer. But…. they found a ring. Now at this point I’m thinking it’s a medical term for something, and I say, ”A ring of what? What does that mean?” He then picks up a cup and rattles it’s contents. He says, “Does this look familiar?”


    I nearly died! 😳 I had so many questions!
    “Yes, that’s my ring, but how did it get there?”
    “How could I have swallowed a ring, and not know it?”
    “How was the ring still in my colon, after the massive amounts of poop 💩 that so violently exited my body the night before?”
    “Again, how could I have swallowed my ring without knowing?”
    The doctor and nurse just stared at me as if to say, “Lady, I don’t know your life.”

    After entertaining many crazy theories in my head, I think I may have solved the mystery. This is an explanation I can live with, and makes sense to me, so here you go:
    I don’t like to wear my ring when I wash my hands, so I will set it on the sink, or put it in my pocket. After I dry my hands, I put it back on. (Sometimes I forget) Also, I take several vitamin supplements every day. I take them all at once, by collecting water in my mouth, tipping my head back, while still holding the water in my mouth, drop them in, then swallow. I have to take my vitamins with food, so after breakfast I will go get my vitamins and sometimes put them in my pocket. I think I left my ring in my pocket after washing my hands, then added my vitamins to that pocket. When I took out the vitamins to swallow, the ring came with them and down it went.

    The ring had only been missing a few days, and I wasn’t too worried about it. I figured it would turn up somewhere. Never in a million years did I think that it would be in my colon. So grateful they found it. I can only imagine the issues it may have caused me in the future.

    I'm The Butt Of All The Family Jokes
    I’m The Butt Of All The Family Jokes

    I’m already the butt (pun intended) of my family’s jokes. I commented that I had misplaced a Christmas gift I wanted to wrap, and my son goes, “Did you check your colon?” …. I might be returning one of his gifts later.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/rhonda.chrosniak

  • The Amazing Story Behind This Breastfeeding Painting

    This painting of a young woman breastfeeding an old man in a prison cell was sold for Euros 30 million. The painting may look perverse but the story behind is from historical records.


    The poor man was sentenced to “death by starvation” for stealing a loaf of bread during the reign of Louis XIV in France. The woman was his only daughter and the only visitor to his cell. She was allowed to visit him daily but was frisked thoroughly such that no food was taken in.

    When after 4 months the man still survived with no weight loss, the authorities were perplexed and started spying on her in the cell and to their utter astonishment found her to breastfeed her father to the fullest sharing her baby’s milk. The judges then realizing the compassion and love of the woman for her father, pardoned the father and set him free.


    This piece of history brings into focus how deep is a woman’s compassion in our daily lives that men often tend to overlook.

  • Depression Tips

    Depression Tips

    Shower. Not a bath, a shower. Use water as hot or cold as you like. You don’t even need to wash. Just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. Sit on the floor if you gotta.

    Moisturize everything. Use whatever lotion you like. Unscented? Dollar store lotion? Fancy 48 hour lotion that makes you smell like a field of wildflowers? Use whatever you want, and use it all over your entire dermis.

    Put on clean, comfortable clothes.

    Put on your favorite underwear. Cute black lacy panties? Those ridiculous boxers you bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? Put them on.

    Drink cold water. Use ice. If you want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost. I always use lemon.

    Clean something. Doesn’t have to be anything big. Organize one drawer of a desk. Wash five dirty dishes. Do a load of laundry. Scrub the bathroom sink.

    Blast music. Listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. Sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

    Make food. Don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. Take the time and make food. Even if it’s ramen. Add something special to it, like a soft boiled egg or some veggies. Prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.

    Make something. Write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. Even if you don’t think you’re good at it. Create.

    Go outside. Take a walk. Sit in the grass. Look at the clouds. Smell flowers. Put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

    Call someone. Call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. Talk to a stranger on the street. Have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. If you can’t bring yourself to call, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. Even if you don’t say much, listen to them. It helps.

    Cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. Take pictures of them. Talk to them. Tell them how you feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out, anything.

    May seem small or silly to some, but this list keeps people alive.

    Remember! Your absolute best won’t ever be good enough for the wrong people. At your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right ones. Remember that. Keep holding on.

    In case nobody has told you today I love you and you are worth your weight and then some in gold so be kind to yourself and most of all keep pushing on!

  • Forever my tiny prem, always my gorgeous boy

    Dearest little Chew,

    We let you down, I’m sorry. We should’ve argued for you louder, fought harder. This morning you woke up and you were so, so pale. The special nurse who comes when you get poorly came down, and within minutes the hallway was flooded with doctors and nurses and specialists trying to save you.

    You have a very aggressive, vicious form of bacterial meningitis that has travelled down your spinal cord and has gone into your blood – which means you’re also battling sepsis.

    We’ve had to remove your shunt and put an external drain in, you had that a few years ago and we were in hospital for 3 months. Please don’t try and pull your drain out this time, mummy can’t handle another admission like that.

    Believe me when I tell you that your team have been told exactly what they’ve done. They were so, so adamant that it was a condition rather than an infection. It could have, and still might, cost you your life. They know where they stand, and I promise you there will not be a next time.

    My heart hurts. Watching you, breathing through a tube. Broken ribs. Strung out on morphine. External drain in place, long lines and catheters. My heart is so heavy I’m practically dragging it behind me. My eyes burn from tears and my voice is croaked for shouting. I am so, so sorry. You didn’t deserve this.

    I’m not going to ask you to hold on, because that’s not fair. I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. You have given this your all and I couldn’t have asked for anything else. I’m going to stay, right by your bedside. Holding your hand. Reading you stories. Keeping you cosy.

    You have done, and are doing, so well. I’m the proudest parent in the world right now, and the only person who gets credit for that is you. Rest up, my darling little hero. This is on your terms.

    I love you, more than you’ll ever have the ability to understand.

    Forever my tiny prem, always my gorgeous boy.

    Love, your broken hearted mama

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/ScarlettMayy

  • Why doesn’t anyone tell pregnant women to masturbate to make labour easier

    Why doesn’t anyone tell pregnant women to masturbate to make labour easier

    That orgasm is a womb opening device.

    Why doesn’t anyone count that childbirth is sexual?

    That the same organs are involved, the same hormones.

    Just like to make love, intimacy is required.

    What’s sweat, groans, panting, eyes on white, hips on the move…

    How has birth / sex become so rigid and controlled?

    Getting to orgasm requires putting the brain at rest and lowering the body.

    Giving birth the same.

    The thing is, many women live pretending orgasms, to fit in the patriarchal model.

    The thing is, you can’t fake a labor.

    Oxytocin is the main hormone responsible for uterine contractions, and it is very sensitive; it needs tranquility, dim light and confidence.

    No matter how close you are to running, if someone breaks into the room without warning, or turns on strong lights or talks about something very technical; it cuts.

    They’re all stimulations of neocortex, generating adrenaline, and inhibiting the process.

    They call it failure in labor progress.

    I don’t think this is a failure, no one fails to give birth.

    It’s rather centuries of #sexual repression combined with poor fear-based information that causes all these interventions and unnecessary suffering.
    .
    ′′ Ultimately, birth is a sexual act that would be performed with the maximum gratification of #pleasure for human creatures, if the sexuality of the woman who stops were not destroyed.” Wilhelm Reich
    .
    ′′ We mean it and invoking repeated experiences, and not in the name of theories, philosophies, beliefs, the work of #labor can be a succession of truly appropriate contractions, good, because they are generators of pleasure.”-Frédérick Leboyer
    .
    ′′ Even the divine curse ‘you will give birth with pain’ implied that it was not always so.”
    Author: unknown

  • The Day I Took An Overdose Was Just Like Any Other Day

    I hope this can help someone. 9 years ago today I woke up from a 6 day coma caused by me attempting to take my life. I was 15 years old and felt like there was no escape from my dark thoughts.

    The weight on my shoulders was to much for me to take. I felt like I couldn’t speak out, I had to man up and face my problems. I thought I had to put a smile on my face and carry on. I thought talking about my issues was a sign of weakness.

    The day I took an overdose was just like any other day. I had been out with my friends. Laughing joking like nothing was bothering me. I got home and went into my room and put music on like normal. I sat for around 30seconds contemplating everything that was bothering me. My mind was moving at a million miles an hour. Then I decided, that enough was enough and I wanted to take my life. I took a cocktail of pain relief and blood pressure reducing tablets. My dad came in and found me surrounded by empty tablet packets. I remember hearing him crying and trying to shake me awake but I couldn’t do anything about it. Then it all went silent. I woke up 6 days later in Addenbrooke’s hospital unaware of what had happened. I remember seeing my dads face looking so drained with a tear in his eyes because I woke up.

    I’m writing this for anyone who sees this to let them know it’s okay to speak up. It’s okay to feel down and lost. What’s not okay is not doing anything about it. 9 years ago I felt like I had nothing to live for. Now I have two beautiful children and wife that need me just as much as I need them. They are the reason I wake up every morning. I still have my low points and struggle with my mental health but I know I have a purpose to keep going.

    You may feel like your worthless and that the world would be a better place without you but your wrong. Seeing how much pain and distress I caused to my friends and family showed me that I wasn’t worthless and that the world may not be a better place for those who love and care for me. It’s not just man up and get on with it. It doesn’t make you a pussy for having feelings. Suicide can take the life of any man, woman, adult or child but men committing suicide has just hit a 2 decade high in the uk. Suicide is the single biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK. Its okay to not be okay.

    If you need someone to talk to call the Samaritans on 116 123 or just speak to someone. You don’t have to face this alone.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/dukscm