Category: Our stories

  • My Son Was Killed By His Partner

    My son was killed yesterday by his partner. Today she is going to court for breaching restraining order and will be bailed. It could take months for any justice to even begin for the loss of my son due to domestic violence.

    Many times he had walked away, many times he had been brought to my door by police as they knew it was safest for him, we sat outside his house not long ago and as a grown man he was scared to go inside, I had to wait up the street in case he called out for me and needed me to come back. She attempted to stab him last month and was charged, she’s scarred his body many times with her violence. He was no angel but he did not to my knowledge lay a hand on her.


    If he had run her down and left the scene would he be bailed? If her family had lost they’re loved one would she be bailed? I don’t understand this, domestic violence against men is real….my son is never going to walk through my door again or be called to be picked up because she’s “lost the plot” how can she walk free…? My boy is dead, she should be held in custody. My son most definitely wouldn’t be bailed if she was left to die on the side of the road by his hands. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with this but I am going to do something.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/faith.baker.75641

  • Do You See A Baby That Shouldn’t Be Born?

    Tell me what you see when you look at this photo ?
    Do you see a baby that shouldn’t be born ?
    Do you see a baby who’s life is not valuable ?

    The government does ! In the UK you can terminate a pregnancy up to 24 weeks, unless your child has Down Syndrome .. then it is legal to terminate up to 39 weeks and 6 days !

    Layla was born with Down Syndrome early at 35 weeks and 6 days. That means the sweet little baby you are looking at in this photo, could have still been aborted on the day she was born. Just because she has an extra chromosome.

    Heidi Crowter (who herself has Down Syndrome) is campaigning to change this .. For all babies in the womb to have the same legal standing.

    imwithheidi are you ?

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/x.becca.rose.x

  • I Just Don’t Know What’s Wrong With Me

    I had a friend reach out to me this morning, she had a baby 2 weeks ago, was in tears, and didn’t know what to do.
    “Nikki, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me…”
    And I remember feeling JUST like that. There was something wrong with me. Society paints this beautiful picture of bringing a baby home and everything being sweet and loving.
    Except that’s not reality.


    You get home with this little life that is COMPLETELY dependent on you.
    You come home with this body that is so foreign you’re not entirely sure it’s yours. A stomach that still looks 5 months pregnant, breasts that may or may not be leaking, stitches in places you never thought possible, and cramps like you can’t believe.


    You come home having your body literally ripped apart to give life. With the hormones progesterone and estrogen plummeting causing changes in your brain chemistry.
    You come home already exhausted and then have to be awake every two hours. Yet somehow you have to recover from birth, be a mom to your other children, clean the house, and somewhere love your partner. All while just wanting to sleep for a year.


    You come home and are somehow expected to know what to do, how to do it, and love every second of it.
    At my 6 week check up they handed me a piece of paper that asked whether I was a harm to myself or my baby. With neat little check boxes. I wasn’t in danger of harming myself or my child so obviously I was okay.
    Except I wasn’t.
    It asked whether I felt distant from my child, having trouble connecting with her.
    I didn’t.


    The thing was, I felt distant from everyone BUT her. I felt like we were on a little raft together floating in the middle of the ocean surrounded by thundering waves. I felt inadequate. Like I was gonna fuck it all up in the next minute. I felt unappreciated. Like this was just my life now. I was just a dairy cow, here for my child’s nourishment and that’s all I was. I felt overwhelmed with her need for me, and only me. No one else made her happy and I found some way to make it a bad thing and make it my fault. I felt like anyone would be better for my family. Like they would be better off without me.

    I got all sorts of dark and twisty and overwhelmed in my head.
    This is Post Partum Depression. And over 85% of women do not report these feelings because society has somehow convinced us that there is something wrong with us if we don’t love every second of motherhood. These are feelings that are NATURAL after giving birth. And the best part is most cases get better just by talking about it. Just talking. Call a friend. Call your mom. Tell your partner. TELL YOUR DOCTOR. Because you do NOT deserve to feel this way. You are NOT a bad mother for having these feelings. You are NOT broken.

    You’re a Mama. And damn it you created LIFE in that body.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/nicole.r.wagener

  • Don’t Let People Kiss Your Babies


    ———————————————————————

    Don’t let people kiss your babies ….

    I was always skeptical about stuff like this like it could never happen to me lucky it’s not deadly

    He has dry flaky skin on his face and he broke it open the next thing i know it’s infected … and taken over half his face …. we went to the er have been to the dr 3 times already and this only started February 17th …. finally it came back that he tested positive for the cold sore virus….

    He is on antibiotics for any infections and antiviral meds as well … he has to see Ear nose throat specialist to make sure that he don’t have any hearing damage … he also now needs to be seen by a pediatric dermatologist ….

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/twinsarespecial/

  • As A Child I Was Not Allowed To Express Myself

    As a child I was not allowed to express myself with hairstyles, makeup, or even clothing.. I never felt comfortable in myself because there was always something missing.

    My hair wasn’t soft and silky like other girls so I felt dirty.
    My skin was freckled and darker so I didn’t feel pretty.
    My teeth were crooked so I didn’t like smiling.

    As a parent now, I have tried my hardest to allow my girls to express themselves within reason, even if others might think it’s “too much”.

    You want to wear a Batman mask to dinner at Applebee’s?? Do it.

    That Easter basket can totally be a hat. So wear it on your head. You look beautiful.

    Yes, capes are acceptable in the morning because capes are just awesome.

    And yes, you can have dreadlocks if that is what makes you more comfortable because your hair isn’t soft and silky like other little girls.

    I’m raising kids. Kids who want their creativity to be appreciated.
    I’m raising girls who shouldn’t feel conformed to society’s standards of what is acceptable or “normal” if it’s not normal to them.
    I’m raising women who will shatter the ceilings of the boxes they are told to fit into.

    I’m raising little warriors and they deserve to feel as such.

    And they don’t worry about their crooked teeth because they are smiling with the happiness that comes from being accepted and heard.

    ❤️

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/onikaalynn

  • Coronavirus In Numbers

    Coronavirus in Numbers…and Why We Really Shouldn’t Panic.

    BE AWARE NOT ALARMED

    So, here it goes:
    80,000 People are Sick with Coronavirus at the Moment
    of which 77,000 are in China.
    If you contract Coronavirus, this still is not a cause for alarm, because:
    81% of the Cases are MILD
    14% of the Cases are MODERATE
    and only 5% of the Cases are CRITICAL

    This means that if you do get the virus, you are most likely to recover from it.

    This means that if you are under 50 years of age, and not living in China, you are more likely to win the lottery which is a 1 in 45,000,000 chance!

    NOW, Let’s take one of the worst days so far – the 10th of February. 108 persons in CHINA died of Coronavirus.
    BUT, on the same day
    26,283 people died of Cancer
    24,641 people died of Heart Disease
    4,300 people died of Diabetes
    and on that day, suicide, unfortunately, took more lives than the virus did, by 28 times.

    Moreover, mosquitoes kill 2,740 people every day, HUMANS kill 1,300 fellow humans every day and snakes kill 137 people every day.

    Our advice is simple! We should cherish life every single day. We should care for our lives always, and not only when we are afraid of some virus or other hitting our shores…oh, and don’t forget to wash your hands.👏

    Credit: Robert Everitt.

  • Dear Parents That Are Worried To Take Your Kids On A Flight

    “Dear parents that are worried to take your kids on a flight: (As someone who just took 4 toddlers on a flight from Vietnam to Boston, here’s our advice)

    Don’t worry about anyone else except for the well-being of your children and yourself.

    Don’t worry if your kid doesn’t want to sit still.
    Don’t worry if your kid cries.
    Don’t worry if your kids makes noises when they are excited.
    Don’t worry if your kid runs up and down the aisles.
    Don’t worry if your kid happens to kick the seat in front of you.
    Don’t worry if your kid leaves a few crumbs on the ground.
    Don’t worry if your kid turns the reading light on and off…
    Don’t
    Worry
    What
    Others
    May
    Think
    Of
    You
    As
    A
    Parent.

    Worry about your kids well-being;
    Worry whether your kid is happy;
    Worry whether their diaper is clean;
    Worry about the logistics of wherever you’re going;
    Worry about things that are IN your control!

    No doubt — every passenger deserves a comfortable in-flight experience and you should do everything in your power to help this.
    BUT
    Kids are not robots and we can’t control their every move — no matter how much we prepare.
    They are kids.
    They will be kids.
    They will act like kids.

    Be respectful but don’t waste your time worrying what others think. This silly idea that we must apologize for traveling with children is slowly becoming the norm and it’s ridiculous.

    Again, this doesn’t mean letting your kids go crazy. It doesn’t mean being disrespectful and making a mess and not cleaning it up. Or, letting your kids scream the entire flight and not trying to make them happy (though sometimes this is unavoidable). It means to do your best and shake the rest off.

    And to those that are flying without children: Tolerance and a positive attitude will go a long way.

    By the way — our kids were not well behaved on the 13 hour leg. They did not sleep. They cried often. They made crumbs. It was hard for us because we were exhausted. We probably took over 10,000 steps up and down the aisles. But, now it’s over and in the past and we already forgot about the other passengers on the flight.”

    📷: @twinsonthegox2 on IG

  • 9 Year Old Wants To Kill Himself

    Its 2020 and i’m reading a newspaper article about a beautiful nine year old boy who wants to kill himself.

    Yes you read thst right a 9 year old wants to end his life. Shocking right?

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    At 9 years old he should be playing with his friends, learning interesting things in school, using his imagnation and most importantly being happy and carefree, no worries or stress.

    Instead he wants to die because he can no longer cope with the pain of being bullied daily all because he has dwarfism.

    What kind of world do we live in where our children look at another child and feel it’s ok to ridicule and humiliate a child for being ‘different’.

    Its 2020 surely our children should know that just because a child may have a different colour skin, be shortere, taller, speak differently, orf have a different way of doing things doesn’t mean they are odd or strange as every man, woman and child is unique, differnet in their own special way, my god the world would be a very boring place if we were all the same.

    Growing up I was always taught “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all”, we need to bring that back!!!

    If our children are unsure of another child it’s up to us as parents to introduce them and educate them about disabilities, race, religion and differences.

    Most of all please,please,please teach our children to be kind. Always.

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  • ADHD Might Not Be The Answer


    ADHD might not be the answer
    .

     

    According to ADHD UK 3.62% of boys and 0.85% of girls aged between 5 – 15 years old are diagnosed with ADHD. This number is on the increase. However according to recent studies the diagnosis of ADHD could in fact, be mislabelling a child.

     

    As parents we all want the best for our children and when things become difficult we look for answers. We speak to the professionals we follow their advice and trust that they understand the problem.

    What if the professionals get it wrong? What if the behaviours our children demonstrate are a manifestation of other issues?



     

    I have taught many children diagnosed with ADHD. However new research is changing the way professionals view and diagnose this. 

    Since the 1990’s Doctors have been examining the effect of trauma in childhood and how it effects them in later life. They noticed a distinct similarity between the symptoms of ADHD and trauma. This has been gaining momentum as trauma awareness becomes more prevalent in schools and teachers are more knowledgeable on how we can help. 

    Trauma is different for every child and personal to them. It is defined as something that negatively impacts on theiremotional and mental wellbeing. It can be a separation of parents, loss of a family member, domestic abuse, bullying or something else that has a profound effect, and as we all know children all deal with this in different ways. These are called Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE’s).

    If a child experiences more than 3 ACE’s and does not receive the right support, they are 6 times more likely to have behavioural problems (identical to those with ADHD) and grow into adulthood with more risk of heart attacks, strokes, cancer, diabetes, chronic lung disease, IBS, eating disorders, asthma, and early death. 

    Therefore, if not diagnosed properly children can develop lasting physical and mental health problems which can be avoided.



    What does this have to do with ADHD?

    According to the NHS website the signs of ADHD are:

     Short attentions span
     Making careless mistakes
     Forgetful
     Unable to stick to tasks
     Unable to listen or carry out instructions
     Constantly changing task 
     Difficulty organising tasks
     Being unable to sit still
     Fidgeting
     Excessive movement
     Excessive talking
     Unable to take turns
     Interrupting
     Impulsivity both positive and negative
     Anger 
     
     

    These are the same symptoms for childhood trauma. Of course, a child is going to be angry/sad/unable to concentrate/have impulsivity issues if they are trying to make sense of the situations they have experienced, this is why professionals need to be and are starting to be more careful on what they are diagnosing.

    One of the major treatments for ADHD is medication. However, when helping a child with trauma their physical symptoms are a product of a much deeper pain/need to be heard and understood. Therefore, medication is not going to help that child make sense of how they are feeling and could potentially prolong their feelings of hopelessness.

    There is also the issue of Medication and the potential damage to the body long term. Recent studies have observed the effect of Ritalin on the body, and although this was carried out on prepubescent rats, they found that all of the rats taking Ritalin developed early Parkinson’s. As the NHS spends £200 million on ADHD medication each year, would we want to give this to a child who does not need it and will not help them?

    Everyone experiences trauma in their childhood whether we define that as big or small. If we have a secure nurturing family most of us are able to process it and understand effectively. If a child doesn’t have the nurturing family supporting them then this is when the behaviours and feelings of being alone manifest. 

    It is very easy to see how misdiagnoses can happen as everyone just wants to help the child and the close link to the behaviours of ADHD means more children have been diagnosed wrong than probably should. Hopefully with more research and understanding this will not be the case for much longer.

    An accurate diagnosis sooner in childhood means they have a better chance in later life. Isn’t this what every parents want their children to have? A bright future

  • Everyone Thinks Being A Stay At Home Mum Is Easy

    ☝️ everyone thinks being a stay at home mom full time is easy.

    — that we are lucky to be able to not have to work.

    — that we are lazy.

    — that it’s not “real” work so we have nothing to complain about.

    👉 but the truth is…it’s fucking lonely and overwhelming

    You can’t do anything by yourself; go to the bathroom, enjoy a cup of coffee, read, hell you can’t even scrub the shit out of pants for the 3rd time in a day without someone crying or screaming at your leg.

    You don’t get breaks unless they are sleeping; which even then you use that time to clean up

    You struggle to come up with ways to entertain someone for literally 12 hours a day every day.

    You wear the same clothes that smell like sweat and tears for days at a time because it’s already stained and no use in ruining more clothes.

    You forget what it means or feels like to be an individual; because your entire existence now revolves around that child.

    You look at working moms and get jealous because you wish you could have an excuse to have an adult conversation without being interrupted.

    You lock yourself in the bathroom and scream into a towel while crying because you need a second to breathe; all while a child is banging on the door to get in…

    ☝️ let that sink in, most of us don’t even have the luxury to cry and be frustrated in peace..and when we do break down people question it; “like what do you have to cry about you get to sit home all day.”

    I was one of those people who judged SAHM’s. But I get it now. The people who said they’d be there to help have all but disappeared, and you’re left with this overwhelming sense of failure.

    My house isn’t clean, I’m not clean, the dishes aren’t done, I have screamed already today, I have cried, and I have felt so damn guilty that my child was here to witness it.

    But I am alone….and I am lonely

    👉👉 check in on your SAHM friends….we are NOT okay

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/bridgetteanne94