Category: Our stories
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I Gave Birth To 3 Children But I Gave Them All Away
I Gave Birth To 3 Children But I Gave Them All Away , you may be thinking what an awful person I am but you are wrong.
My name is Penny Divine and I’m a mum of six children, three of which live with me and call me mummy and three who I am biological related to but call another woman mum.
After I had my 3rd child I realised just how special it is, the moment you look into your babies eyes, sniff their little heads and hug this bundle of joy for the first time and the pride you feel when you take them home.
Whilst holding my tiny 7 pound baby laid in the hospital bed I imagined how hard it was for woman who would never get to experience this, who would never know this unbreakable love.
Once my baby had reached her 1st birthday I sat my husband down and said I want another baby but I don’t want to keep it, I want to gift it to a woman who cannot have her own child.
My husband was amazingly supportive but said as long as its artificial insemination and not sex he was okay with it (he is a joker but the most wonderful man).
I saw my Gp and was referred to a specialist clinic, I had a psychological evaluation, medical checks and had to sign multiple disclaimers saying that I could not have any financial gain from it etc etc, I wouldn’t accept any money any way.
Six months later I met a wonderful couple Julie and Philip who had tried with IVF for years but Julie was not producing eggs.
My husband was the one to inseminate me with Philips sperm and would you believe it I was pregnant on the first try, the pregnancy was pretty smooth other than the urge to eat sponges.
When I delivered their little boy I was nervous handing him over but the smiles and joyful tears that Julie and Philip had was the most magical feeling, I can’t express how happy I felt in that moment, knowing I had just given them the greatest gift.
I went on to help two more couples and still keep in contact with all of them and i am often referred to as auntie, being a surrogate is not for everyone but for me it is like I am giving them a gift from god and I plan on doing it again next year.
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My Son Does Not Act Gay- Acting Gay Isn’t A Thing
My son does not act gay- acting gay isn’t a thing
My lovely little lad Johan is 6 years old and loves nothing more than dressing up in princess dresses especially his yellow Belle costume and his little mermaid tail.
Dylan loves to be pampered, having his toe nails painted and enjoys painting mine and his older sisters nails, he’s actually pretty good at it, he has a great eye for colours that go and has the patience to paint designs on our nails.
Dylan is a keen dancer and often wins competition especially his street dancing and solo performances, and yes he will wear sparkly outfits, leotards and glitter on his face.
His father has never been to any of his competitions and does not support his son.
His father says he does not wish to witness his son acting like a gay boy, he should be playing football or rugby. Why does dancing mean he is acting gay, what is gay? Gay is a sexual preference not a way of behaving, there are gay rugby and football players as well, and a lot of straight male dancers.
Dancing is a skill, a talent and takes a lot of hard work, so what if my son likes to dress up or have his nails painted etc this does not define his sexuality and there is no such thing as “acting gay” gay is not an act! Dylan is not at an age where he knows what his sexual preference is, but he is at an age to know what he enjoys doing, who knows he may one day be gay but may be he won’t, what he does for enjoyment now will not determine that.
emailed in by Sarah Oldrey of Cumbria
If you have a story you wish to share or if you want to raise awareness please email us at mumsadviceltd@outlook.com
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Just Do The Dam Dishes Without Being Asked
Recently while bitching about the fact that I do absolutely everything around my house with a bunch of friends all singing “preach Queen”, someone said to me “if you want help you need to be specific… ask for it. People need lists, they aren’t mind readers.”
So I tried that, asking.. specifics..
“Can you take the bin out?”
“Can you get up with the kids? I’m just a little tired after doing it on my own for 329 years”
“Can you go to the shops? I’ve done 3 loads of washing and made breaky, lunch, picked up all the kids school books, dealt with the floating shit in the pond.”
And yeah, she was right… shit got done.
But I was exhausted, just keeping the balls in the air.. remembering what needs to be asked to be done, constant nagging..
And do you know what happened the minute I stopped asking…?
NOTHING.
Again.
And so I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not your job to ask for help, it’s not my job to write fucking lists.. We have enough god dam jobs and teaching someone how to consider me and my ridiculous work load is not one of them.
Just do it.
Just think about each other, what it takes to run the god dam house. Is one of you working while the other puts up their feet?
Is one of you hanging out with mates while the other peels the thirtieth piece of fruit for the day?
Is one of you carrying the weight?
Because when the nagging stops, when the asking dies down, when there are no more lists….
All your left with is silent resentment. And that my friends is relationship cancer..
It’s not up to anyone else to teach you consideration. That’s your job.
Just do the fucking dishes without being asked once in a while mother fuckers.
Full credit goes to Constance Hall
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I am you. I see you. I am with you, I cry with you
For the woman whose husband makes an “extra stop” after work every evening.
For the woman who is mourning the loss of a pregnancy that nobody else knew about.
For the woman who still leads from the front even although she’s lost inside.
For the woman who was fired for her fourth late because she has been awake for a straight week with a sick child.
For the single mom who doesn’t know how the utilities are going to stay on this month.
For the woman who has gone through 2 IVF’s and has tried for five years without success but still shows up to every baby shower for her friends.
For the woman who still hasn’t forgiven herself for the abortion that she had 20 years ago.
For the woman who has a line of judging eyes at her and her children as she counts out coins or has to put something back at the supermarket.
For the woman who opens the door to the news of her husband being killed overseas three weeks before he was to return home.
For the woman who lives with a quiet anxiety because nobody understands what you could possibly be stressed about.
For the woman who gives to her family all day- everyday and just.needs.a.break.
For the woman that smiles at strangers all day in public- but weeps silently every night.
For the woman who has wanted to end it all but found strength to carry on.
For the woman that heard the rumor about herself at church today.
For the woman sleeping next to a stranger every night.
For the woman whose genetics will never allow her to look like the ones in the magazines.
For the woman that endures one broken relationship after another because there was no father around to teach her what love looks like.
For the woman raising a fatherless daughter and praying that history doesn’t repeat itself.
For the woman who loves with all her heart who’s desperate to be loved.
For every single woman that cries in the shower so that nobody else can see. Because if you aren’t strong-nobody is.
Just because the water washes your tears doesn’t mean that you don’t cry. Just because you cry doesn’t mean that you’re not strong enough to handle it.
I am you. I see you. I am with you, I cry with you. I love you.
#womenempoweringwomen #femalesolidarity
Full credit goes to the amazing Sarah Ponton
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I Am Not A Pervert For Sleeping With My Son
I am not a pervert for sleeping with my son
My darling boy is 12 years old, it has just been me and him since he was 6 months old after his father passed away from Cancer, my son Sean is the apple of my eye, my hero and my reason to get up every morning, we are very close and the love I have for him is unreal.
Sean is a sensitive lad and still suffers from nightmares/terrors, he is scared to be on his own at night.
You see three years ago we had a burglary and it shook my son to the core, so he gets in my bed every night, we do have a quick cuddle but then he sleeps on his side and me on mine, sometimes we will lay awake chatting about life, it’s one of the few times in the day where I have his undivided attention.
I personally don’t see the issue with Sean sleeping in my bed with me, there is nothing sexual in it, it is purely a scared boy and a supportive strong mum keeping one another safe and my boy feeling secure and comforted.
My own mother, my sons grandmother has had the bloody nerve to call me a pervert for sleeping in the same bed as my flesh and blood, she has told me if we don’t stop she will inform the school and social services and will seek custody of Sean.
My mum says it is unhealthy for my son, that I’m going to emotionally scar him plus he will grow up to be a mummy’s boy, she says it is not normal and it has to stop now.
Sleeping in the same bed as your child is not wrong and any one who thinks it is the perverted one, my mum can call social services for all I care I am not doing anything wrong
Submitted by Victoria Windsor
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Stop Naming Your Kids Stupid Made Up Names
I want to rant, no I need to rant this new stupid trend of naming your children ridulicious made up names is getting out of hands wrong with nice normal names like John, Simon, Amy, or Sophie.
Neveah has got to be one of the worst names I have ever heard for those that don’t know it is heaven spelt backwards, just hearing it makes me want to vomit, and i’m not alone all over social media I see people hating on this name.
Made up names are the worst, Brayli, Bleu-Rose, sinamon (yes spelt like that) double-barreled names just sound like stripper names or common as muck people, I would not employ someone called Millie-May, Lilly-Anna, Bobbie-joe etc, what is this trend of adding “Mae, May, Bleu, Rose at the end of a name?
Parents they may in your opinion sound like cute names when your off spring is a baby but what happens when they become an adult, now a Peter or a Sarah has a chance to have a successful life but Blessing, Stormi, Honey Suckle, C-Kritz, Malia, Porsche, precious, Princess, Pluto, London, Bleuboy and Stokelee are clearly destined to play the guitar badly outside your local Aldi’s or to dance on poles, now may be I’m being to judgey but as an employer for a large company when I look at an application for a job interview, I put the ones with ridiculous names in the bin.
How can My company be successful with Armani-Mae at the front desk, it’s embarrassing it sounds childish and very unprofessional.
Now I’m not saying all old style names are great, Keith, Martha, Trevor and Maureen need never to be heard again.
I await the who am I to judge comments, but lets face it we all judge people by their name, Richard you could imagine being a Doctor and Armani-Bleu dancing on a pole or starring in adult films.
Wake up parents stop chavving up your kids and name something normal!!!
Sent in via email, sender wishes to remain anonymous
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Please Don’t Be Afraid To Walk Away From People Who Cannot Change
So today I was given the worst possible news imaginable something I thought would never have to deal with. My beautiful sister Lucy was brain-dead. Some of you all ready know how we got to this point and for those that don’t I’m going to tell you as I feel that I need to tell the world Lucy’s story.
I decided many years ago to cut contact with my mum who had been an addict for over 20 years as she did nothing to contribute positively to my life. Unfortunately Lucy wasn’t able to break her bond and last year my mum introduced her to cocaine and didn’t care that she was ruining her life as long as she got her fix. Whilst spending time at my mum’s she met another addict Ian who Lucy started a relationship with. Ian was sent to prison and I was then able to help Lucy get away by letting her live with me. We sorted out student accommodation for her and in September she returned to Uni for her final year drug free.
As there is no justice in the world Ian was released from prison before Lucy was able to finish Uni. She knew how I felt about him so we didn’t discuss him as it would cause arguments.
What I didn’t know was that Lucy was letting Ian live at her student accommodation and the Uni had found out so she dropped out and went to stay at my mum’s again.
On Thursday morning I received a call to say Lucy had been rushed to hospital after having a seizure this seizure lead to a cardiac arrest and her brain was starved of oxygen for up to 40mins before help arrived. She’s put up a good fight over the last few days but it wasn’t enough.
The results came back to say high levels of cocaine and a prescription drugs were found in her body these prescribed drugs belonged to Ian so the dose was far to high for her little body to cope with.
To a lot of people’s disgust I have let Ian and my mum in to see her as I wanted them to see what they had done in my eyes they are to blame for this and now I have to plan a funeral for my little sister at the age of 24 who doesn’t deserve to be here they do. All she’s ever done is put too much faith in to the wrong people in the belief they will change for the better.
So the message I want to spread is don’t be afraid to walk away some people cannot change and will hold you back for as long as you let them. You only get one life and you need to surround yourself with people who help you to achieve your goals.
Look at her face that’s not my sister look at what drugs and mixing with the wrong people has done to her.
If we can save one life by sharing this story then I’ll be happy.
Please respect the fact that I don’t want anyone to contact me if you have questions I will answer them in due course. Right now I have a lot of hate for the world and want to be left alone.
We love you Lucy and I’ll live my life to the fullest now for us both. A true Angel
Xxxxxx
Full credit to Stacey Jordan
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STOP Pulling Your Baby’s Top Lip Back Over Their Face
Ladies,
Please, STOP pulling your baby’s top lip back over their face, taking photos, and posting them into parenting groups or your to your Facebook friends.
This cannot be diagnosed by a photograph, your GP is the only one who can tell you for sure. Plus, right now, pull your own top lip up towards your nose. Nice and far, the way it’s done in these pictures. Not nice is it? That’s because we’ve all got one, it’s kind of how your face works, and is to do with how we developed in the womb.
Please stop putting your baby through this.
Just stop. Please.
Tongue and lip-tie are common causes of nipple pain, uneven breast drainage, slow weight gain and low milk supply. Many doctors do not properly access for tongue or lip-tie until they are made aware that there could be an issue.
Signs your baby may have a lip tie
•poor latch and suck
•unusually strong suck due to baby using excess vacuum to remove milk
•clicking sound while nursing (poor suction)
•ineffective milk transfer
•infrequent swallowing after initial let-down
•inadequate weight gain or weight loss
•irritability or colic
•gas and reflux
•fussiness and frequent arching away from the breast
•fatigue within one to two minutes of beginning to nurse
•difficulty establishing suction to maintain a deep grasp on the breast
•breast tissue sliding in and out of baby’s mouth while feeding
•gradual sliding off the breast
•chewing or biting on the nipple
•falling asleep at the breast without taking in a full feed
•coughing, choking, gulping, or squeaking when feedingLip-ties often accompany tongue-ties, other parents cannot advice you if your child has a lip tie, please see your doctor for an assessment.
If you have a story you wish to share with us or would like to raise awareness please email us at mumsadviceltd@outlook.com
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These Medicines Can Make You More Sensitive To The Sun
Well Britain finally appears to be having sunnier. hotter and nicer days, (hope I havent jinxed it) now we all remember to put sun cream on the children and make sure they are hydrated and wear a sun hat.
But what about yourself, do you wear a hat? Do you put sun cream on?
Are you aware that some of the medicines you take for health conditions may in fact make it harder for you to be safe in the sunshine.
If you are currently taking Venlafaxine, Sertraline, Mirtazapine, Olanzapine and antihistamines certain antibiotics, these medications increase sun sensitivity and risk of sunburnis vastl increased.
We have listed only a few medicines which can affect sun sensitivity, we advice that you check all your medicines for the side effects, we all get into the habit of just taking the medicines prescribed by our trusted GP but rarely do we check the information pamphlet provided.
If you are on any medication which increases your sensitivity to the sun, please wear factor 50 sun cream with a high UV star rating, avoid going out in the sun between 11am and 3pm, ensure you sit in the shade and wear a hat if you can.
If you are concerned with the medications affect you can request a medication review at your doctors and they may have an alternative available.
Please share to let others know about the risks of medications and sun sensitivity.
If you have a story you wish to share with us, or would like to raise awareness of any topic, or would like us to report on something please send us an email to mumsadviceltd@outlook.com