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  • Never Use Hot Sauce In Foreplay, I Learnt The Hard Way

    Never Use Hot Sauce In Foreplay, I Learnt The Hard Way

    Ok so I look back now and laugh, but the moment I discovered hot sauce was a bad idea was extremely painful.

    Let me set the mood, I’d been dating this handsome builder, you know the type muscular, hairy chest, tanned, funny and horny, I was smitten.

    He absolutely loved foreplay, we experimented with all sorts of foods and store-bought pleasure gels like Durex play and Ky jelly.

    Well one of my favourite sex gels made me all warm and tingly in my lady area and I was desperate to get that sensation whilst my man pleasured me erm with his tongue (sorry for the too much info).

    Anyways in a moment of madness I went down stairs and grabbed Encona West Indian hot pepper sauce, in hindsight i should have put more thought into this decision.

    I rubbed it all over my lady parts, kind of expecting to feel a warm tingly sensation.

    Oh my god it was like someone had poured acid on my lady garden and then set it on fire.

    My poor parts were burning, I was itching, I was in so much pain.

    I tried washing it away, still a burning pain, my partner poured milk, yes you heard that right… milk on my bits to cool it 🤦🏼‍♀️ 

    Baby wipes, soap, water, milk, nothing stopped the pain, until I got the good old sudocream and applied it all over as thick as I could.

    I could feel lumps of swollen skin and a texture like sandpaper, for 9 long days urinating or moving where excruciating, i was so uncomfortable and sore.

    Lesson learnt never use hot sauce to spice up anything other than a food dish, or you could end up with a red face and an even redder fanny.

     

  • Sex Toys Ruined My Parents Marriage

    Sex Toys Ruined My Parents Marriage

    My parents are in their early fifties and have been married for 30 blissful years.

    My parents had two children, myself and brother and are now proud grandparents to three.

    To look at you would think they had the perfect life, mortgage free, a loving family, lovely holidays abroad, nice cars and enough money for my father to only work part-time and my mother to stay home.

    This all went wrong last year and it’s all my fault.

    Christmas 2015 I brought my mum lots of Yankee candles, flowers, slippers, a giant toblerone, photos of her grandchildren placed in a beautiful silver frame and a joke present of a green rampant rabbit and ky jelly.

    It was meant in jest it was a never meant to be a marriage breaker, i thought my mum wold laugh and my dad would make a silly joke.

    My mother loved it, she stopped sleeping with my father, always saying she was tired or had a head ache, you know the go to excuses to get out of sex, her rampant rabbit was her new favourite toy, it completely replaced her husband.

    Six months of no sex for my father was too much, he tried talking with my mum, he tried to spice things up, but nothing worked, eventually he found love in a different place, my parents split and my father moved from our family home.

    My perfect family, my loving parents separated all over a joke.

    My mum said she’s never felt more free. My father had never pleased her in the bedroom department and she feels she has missed out for so long.

    My father still misses the woman he loves but has found comfort in another and things seem o be going well.

    I will never forgive myself for breaking up my parents but I’m glad both parties are happy.

     

  • Intense Sexual Intercourse Breaks House

    A 640-lbs man and his 450-lbs wife had a rather unusual accident this year as the floor of their apartment collapsed during  intense sexual intercourse, causing the couple to fall three stories lower.

    Michael Davis and Theresa Walker from Liverpool, England were having rampan sex in their bedroom on the third floor of an apartment building when the structure collapsed.

    The couple and their bed fell through three floors before bursting through a wall and ending up in a laundry room in the basement of the building.

    Emergency services were rapidly called on the site and they were able to extract the unlucky lovers from their uncomfortable position.

    Miraculously, the couple suffered only light injuries and no other residents of the building were injured as almost half of the 250-year old building collapsed.

    Tom Watson, another resident of the building, claims the accident was predictable and could and should have been avoided.

    “This couple had very loud sex a few times a week and the entire structure would shake every time. The walls cracked and the light flickered. This is an old building, it clearly wasn’t built to endure this kind of stress!”

    Mr. Watson says the landlord was aware of the situation but did nothing to correct it.

    “He said the fact that they were overweight didn’t justify their expulsion and he offered to build an additional support beam in my living room. Even if the rent is cheap, most of the other tenants had already left because th situation was unbearable”

    Indeed, the two apartments below the couple have been unoccupied for months, a fact that explains the absence of casualties.

    The Liverpool City Police have opened an investigation and some forensic engineers have been called to the site to determine the exact cause of the collapse and whether the landlord is to blame for an unstable structure.

     

  • Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral

    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral
    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral


    British couple Nikki and Louise Draven are one of Britain’s first families to raise their child, Star Cloud, in a completely gender fluid environment. Louise (Star’s Mum) was born as a man and is currently undergoing hormone therapy to successfully transition into a woman. Nikki (Star’s Dad) identifies as both male or female, and transitions between genders on a day-by-day basis.

    Both parents wish to raise Star in an environment that is neutral and fluid, straying from traditional gender roles. They allow Star to choose whatever clothing and toys he wants, or wear any colours he likes.
    Nikki and Louise met at an LGBT meet-up in 2011 and found that they shared very similar views about family and gender. The two of them wish to provide Star with the freedom of choice they wished they had while growing up in their homes. They want Star to be able to choose his own gender when he is older.

    Louise and Nikki want to raise Star in as ordinary a home as possible, but neither of them put much stock into gender roles defined by society.

    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral
    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral


    Star is like any ordinary kid, but instead of playing with only cars or trucks, Star also enjoys playing with dolls and barbies.

    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral
    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral

    Faced with challenges, the other children in Star’s nursery tell him that he can’t play with dolls because they are for girls, but Louise and Nikki carefully explain that Star is free to play with whatever he enjoys.

    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral
    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral


    Star will be attending school soon, which will require him to wear a boy’s uniform, but he gets to wear a pink vest and socks: his favorite color.

    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral
    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral


    When addressing Star in their home, Louise and Nikki use ‘him’ and ‘his’ but don’t put too much emphasis on the words.

    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral
    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral


    Nikki and Louise want to make it very clear that Star is allowed to wear makeup, put on a dress or even paint his nails if he wishes.

    Star knows that he is a boy, but Nikki and Louise want him to know that they don’t want to put limitations on his gender in any way.

    The couple has had multiple run-ins with bullying and public criticism, but remain hopeful that others will keep an open mind about their family

    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral
    Family Where Mum Is Dad, Dad Is Mum And 4-Year-Old Son Gender Neutral

     

  • The Woman Who Had Ten Boys Aborted

    The Woman Who Had Ten Boys Aborted.

    Martha Whatmore aged 37 from Surrey has aborted ten babies her reasons shocked us to the core and as a rule we stay impartial but we have to admit we feel sickened by her actions.

    You see Martha has four sons ranging from 9 to 17.

    Martha and her husband Kyle are desperate to add a daughter to their family.
    Martha explained they had used the nub and ramzi theory to tell the sex of their expectant babies.
    Every pregnancy so far they have believed to be a boy.

    Martha and Kyle told Mums advice that they love their sons to bits but don’t have anymore room in their home or heart to keep on having more boys all they really want to make their family complete is a much wanted daughter.

    Martha said “We do not believe we are doing any wrong, the fetus is not fully formed and we pay privately for the abortion so aren’t wasting tax payers money, why bring a baby into the world that isn’t wanted”.

    Kyle added: “we are praying our next pregnancy brings along a little princess, but if not we will keep trying until we succeed”.

    Both said if there was an option to pick the sex then they would jump at the chance and would be prepared to pay any price, we suggested to them the option of adopting the babies out or tying to adopt a girl but they are adamant that what they are doing isn’t harming anyone.

    Martha added “I could understand people being annoyed or upset with our actions if the baby was fully formed but it is just a fetus and feels no pain”.

    Ten abortions and by the looks of it unless their next pregnancy is a girl this number could vastly increase.

     

  • I Lock My Husband Up At Night For Our Safety

    I lock my husband up at night for our safety.

    I Lock My Husband Up At Night For Our Safety and his , I have lost family and so-called friends by staying with him.

    I met my husband when i was 19 after a whirlwind romance by 21 we were married and had our first baby on the way.
    My husband Kieran is two years my senior and a wonderful man barring one issue…

    My husband is a sex addict and to make matters worse a sleep-walker or so I thought.

    My husband would have sex with me whilst I was asleep and have absoluetly no memory of it in the morning, at first I felt violated and used, my husband was worried and sought advice from his Gp.

    My husband underwent sleep tests and after months of tests was diagnosed with a condition called Sleep sex, or sexsomnia, this is where a person will engage in sexual activities whilst asleep.

     One night he sleepwalked in the middle of the night and I wasn’t in the bed, I caught him trying to have sex with the family dog, Belle our golden Labrador.

    On another occasion he was playing with himself in my sons bedroom (luckily our child was fast asleep).

    He has tried all treatment available, medications, counselling, alternative therapies but nothing has worked.
    My husband feels ashamed of himself and suffers from depression due to his condition.

    Family and friends have said he’s just a dirty pervert, but he is really not.

    I Lock My Husband Up At Night For Our Safety, the only way we have found to keep him, our children, pets and others safe is by locking him in his room at night.
    This has put strain on our marriage, a husband and wife should share a bed, but I love him and will always stand by him.

    Am I wrong for standing by the man I love and thefather of my children?

    Read more about sexsomnia https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/sex-while-asleep

     

  • Man Jailed After Importing Child Sex Doll

    A Man Jailed After Importing Child Sex Doll. 

    The man who imported a childlike sex doll has been sentenced in the first case of its kind in Essex England. 
    Simon Glerum, 33, was arrested in January after Border Force officers intercepted a parcel from Hong Kong containing the 3ft 3ins (101cm) doll at Stansted Airport. 
    The box was labelled as a mannequin and also came with items including a body stocking and hair brush.

     The doll of which was anatomically correct. 
    Essex Police officers arrested Glerum at his home in Bridge Street, Great Bardfield, and items including a computer were seized. 

    A laptop was found to contain 21 images or films of child abuse of Category A (the most serious); four of Category B; five of Category C; and eight prohibited images. These had been downloaded from the internet. 
    Officers also found a fictional story describing the sexual abuse of a child. 
    He appeared at Chelmsford Crown Court on August 23 and admitted importing the sex doll, three of making indecent images of a child and one count of possession of a prohibited image. 
    He was sentenced on Friday the 29th September to a 12 month suspended sentence for each of the five counts that will run concurrently, a five year sexual harm prevention order, complete a sex offender treatment programme and 20 days in rehabilitation. The doll has been forfeited and will be destroyed.

     of a child and one count of possession of a prohibited image. 
    A police spokesperson said: “The importation of childlike sex dolls can be an indication of offences being committed against children, as in this case, where images of child abuse were found on Glerum’s computer. 

    “We will always investigate and deal with such cases robustly and have made a number of arrests. One is currently going through the courts. 
    “We work closely with Border Force, National Crime Agency and Crown Prosecution Service in our commitment to prevent the importation of these obscene items and to protect children from harm.” 
    Anyone with information on someone who has imported a childlike sex doll is asked to contact police on 101. 

     

  • Husband Creates A Spreadsheet Of ALL The Times His Wife Denied Him Sex

    There are marital arguments, then there are Reddit-worthy marital arguments. Take for example Redditor throwwwwaway29, who posted this photo of a spreadsheet sent to her by her husband, detailing every time she denied him sex in the past seven weeks.

    She posted this:
    “Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my “excuses”, using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 “attempts” on his part”.


    She added she hasn’t seen this side of her husband before, he isn’t answering her calls, and she’s spent the last 24 hours crying her eyes out.


    Sending your wife an email containing a spreadsheet of all the times she said no? Flowers and chocolates might have worked better, but Excel spreadsheets definitely come in at a close second.


    Good luck winning your wife back, maybe you can make a PowerPoint presentation?

  • SEX POSITIONS TO HELP GET YOU PREGNANT!

    SEX POSITIONS TO HELP GET YOU PREGNANT! 

    If you’re struggling to conceive or trying to conceive below we’ve listed the top 10 sex positions which can boost your chances of getting pregnant.

     

    1) Your old favourite classic, the missionary or as some like to call it ‘boring vanilla’. I’m pretty sure you don’t need me to explain this position but for anyone who is clueless its basically the woman underneath with her legs open. (P.s add a cushion under your bum to tilt you slightly for a deeper penetration!) The man will be on top of you with his arms holding his weight and he will control the movements.

     

    2) Doggy style (woof woof!) You either love or hate this position so if it’s not for you don’t panic you’ve got another 9 positions to choose from! This is self-explanatory, get on all fours like a dog and let your man take you from behind. Don’t forget that back arch! The man will hold your hips to control the thrusting and your welcome to help him along by rocking back and forth.

     

    3) Reverse cowgirl (Yeee harr!) it’s not quite like a cowgirl however do feel free to dress up like one if you fancy spicing it up. Your man will lie on the bed, and you will sit on him facing away from him so your bum is basically in his face. It’s your turn to control the movements on this one so just push up and down.

     

    4) The toad (yes, it’s an unusual name for a sex position) similar to missionary the only difference is you wrap your legs around your man and place your feet on his bum to guide the movements. It’s a very simple position but great for intimacy.

     

    5) Bandoleer (I have no clue why it’s called this but just role with it) get on your back and bring your knees to your chest just like if you were suffering from trapped wind and was trying to release a few farts. Put your feet on his chest and he will put his forearms on your knees. You can just place your hands on his thighs if you want. If you want him to go deeper just pull him in by his thighs. Bonus points in this position…the G spot gets all the action! As your man presses your knees down the pleasure increases. Sounds fun!

     

    6) The Hound…yet again what is with these sex positions relating to dogs. Anyway, the hound just like doggy style you’ll be getting on all fours but just lower yourself so your resting on your forearms instead. The man will like usual penetrate you from behind while, if he wants, cupping your boobies.

     

    7) The peg, if I’m honest it more like ‘the plank’ you’re basically planking on top of your partner. Get him to lie on his back and you lie on top of him controlling the movements. If you’re lucky enough to have a man with a big package this position will allow him not to penetrate you too deeply.

     

    8) From behind. Well unfortunately this is a boring name unlike the rest. Find a wall or some sort of object you can lean on and your man will stand up right and enter you from behind while holding on to your thighs.

     

    9) The grip. This one is good for getting deep! Place a cushion under your bum to raise your hips slightly. Move your pelvis from one side to the other. Your partner can go deep if you’re brave enough.

     

    10) The eagle…. As the saying goes ‘Spread eagle’! Get on your back and spread those legs up high, the man will kneel in between while holding your legs up (what a gentleman, otherwise you wouldn’t last long in this position you’d get leg cramp) this position is fantastic for going deep while the man can have a full view of what’s going on. Cushion under your bum is optional.

     

     

     

    These are my top 10 sex positions to help you along with the road to pregnancy…but please enjoy sex! Don’t make it a chore or routine, let loose in the bedroom, go wild and just enjoy yourselves. After all once you have little people running around you’d be lucky if you even get the missionary position!

  • Sex Education, When Is The Right Time?

    Mums advice asked 361 members when they think children should get sex education lesson, we were shocked by the results.242 members thought sex education shouldn’t begin until the child is between 10 and 12 years of age.
    Others disagreed stating the earlier the better, maybe not about actual intercourse or stds but about about what their parts are called and who can see it or touch them, thus helping to prevent abuse.
    Several members felt it best children knew basic terminology and facts to prevent bullying or misinformation in the play ground.
    One member said “I don’t agree with them learning about it until they’re 10+ they dont totally understand when they are that young i understand teaching them about keeping safe away from horrible people but my little boy just thinks its funny when he was told about his body parts but on the other hand i do answer him if he asks questions too many children these days are very advanced as well “. 

    Another stated
    “As young as possible knowledge is power if they have the knowledge they have the power to protect themselves from sti std etc they can make educated and informed choices they will know when to say no and not feel pressured into doing things they don’t want to don’t feel comfy doing”.

    This mum said: 

    “I’m completely against learning it too young.. my son got sex education age 11 and he became obsessed. Honestly if I could turn back the clock I would opt him out”.

    What’s your view on sex education?

    What age will you teach your child or would you leave it to the school to do?