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Tag: relationship
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I Do Not Help My Wife And Neither Should You
I do not help my wife!!!
A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”
He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”
I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.
I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.
I I do not help my wife.
A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”
He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”
I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.
I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.
I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.
I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.
I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.
I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you
But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!
Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?
Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.
Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.
The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! “
Author unknown but truly awesome…
I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.
I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.
I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.
I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you
But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!
Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?
Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.
Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.
The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! “
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What If He Tries To Rape Me Again?
I think my relationship may be about to get abusive … it started when I stupidly did not discourage a male from being sexual with me over social media
It was wrong of me and I know that.
I stupidly allowed my PND and low self esteem to take the better of me in that situation
My thought was
“You’re fat and ugly, your partner thinks the same too”
So when another male showed sexual interest I allowed it
While I did encourage him, I didn’t discourage him either
And that was wrong
My partner found out..My partner
My lover
My saviour
My BEST FRIEND
He’s hurt. Of course he’s hurt and I have nobody to blame for that but meHow could I ever hurt him like I have ?!
How could I ever have been so fucking stupid???
We spoke and I thought things were somewhat sorted between usI knew the trust would be hard to rebuild
I know because he’s shattered my trust before
More than once
But that isn’t the point.
He wanted to have sex in the utility room, I said noHe pushed and pushed and forced his penis inside of me
Without consent
Is this rape?God knows I deserve it
I got out of that situation unharmed, I went outside to avoid him for a whileCame back, and he acted as though nothing had happened
Cue bed that night, he again tried to initiate sexI complied, it’s the least I can do after betraying his trust
The sex was rough, I didn’t enjoy it. But I allowed it to continue regardless
Half hour after he finished he wanted to go again, again I complied
It was this time when he strangled me, I couldn’t breathe.I justified it in my head “he’s upset, he wants to hurt me without actually hurting me”
I mentioned it the day after
He “didn’t realise he had done it”
Ok, not to worry
We spent the day together and had a good laugh,I hadn’t laughed like that in such a long time
We had such a good day together as a family
Again, back in bed that night he brought up my infidelityWe spoke, I asked if he wanted to hit me, I felt like I deserved it.
He was horrified I even suggested such a thing
“Id never hit a woman, EVER”
I apologised
He again initiated sex
He wanted anal, I refused
That didn’t stop him
He forced himself in me once again
And despite my screams and crying he continued
I tried to get away, he held me in place while he continued to force sex
I again, thankfully managed to get awayI ran, I was so distraught, I ran to the bathroom
But there is no lock
So, naked, scared and still crying I ran to my car
I drove away
I had nowhere to go. I’d left my phone so couldn’t ring anyone for help
And stupidly, all I wanted was my partner. The man who was my everything
But also the man who he caused me to be in this situation
I returned home, he was looking for me“Are you ok?”
NO, no I am not
“You wanted me to hurt you”
Not like that …
he didn’t understand my point of view
I returned to bed and put some clothes onWhat if he tries to rape me again?
What if this is the start of an abusive relationship?
Is this what I deserve?
He acted like nothing happened. And went away to work in the morningWill tonight be better? Only time will tell?
I know everyone will read this and think
“Why stay?! Take your children and leave!”
But I can’t, it isn’t who he is.
He’s an amazing man, and my entire world
Thankfully I can recognise that what has happened the last two nights is wrong
If it continues, I’m gone.
But for now. I’m hoping he will be the man I love
The caring, affectionate man
I’m hoping this is his way of getting his frustration out for what I’ve done to himI’m hoping this is the end
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How Do I Tell My Child He’s Not Wanted
How do you explain to an 8 year old that his dad who has supposedly loved him, raised him, played with him and been his role model that he has a new family, a new baby on the way and now my son isn’t welcome.
How do you explain he won’t be there on his birthday?
His Fathers day card won’t be received
His Dad has said he doesn’t want him and never wants to hear from him again.
This is what I had to do last year the most heart breaking conversation i have ever had.
Seeing my sons heart break even though i was tactful with my words i reassured him I loved him more than life it’s self.
My son hasn’t seen his dad for over a year and you know what my boy has come through it he realises his dad is missing out not the other way round.
I do not bad mouth his father to my son, and i hope one day his dad sees sense and reconnects with our child, but for now i’m raising my son to be a kind,smart and brave man.
For all you single mums out there whose childs father is still wanting to be in their kids life, don’t bad mouth them (in ears reach of your child) don’t make impossible demands of them, I won’t tell you to be grateful just thankful that you had a relationship with a man who stands up and accepts his responsibilities.
Mums and dads who have no other parental support be proud, be strong, you stood up when your ex sat down.
