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Tag: relationship

  • My Wife Will Never Touch My Penis

    My Wife has never actually touched my e.nis

    So this is the first time I have ever done this.

    So My wife and I are both 32 years old and have been together for about 10 years, and married for 7 years. We had both had a few partners before we were together.

    We have a great relationship and love and care for each other.

    The only problem is that when we have sex she doesn’t touch me. not once in the whole time we have been together has she ever touched me or given me oral.

    I haven’t bothered too much about it until now. Yea I long for head or even just to have her hold my member in her hand.

    See the thing is she never ever talks about sex. I have tried to talk to her and she gets embarrassed and shuts down.

    When we have sex I always am the one doing the foreplay. It is very one-sided. I kiss her everywhere, I touch her, I give her oral, and pleasure her and she goes wild for it. But she never touches me. I have tried directing her hand down there and she stops. I have dealt with it for years, but now it is becoming a problem because when we start a session I do the usual foreplay but because it is getting a bit boring not receiving and feels a bit unfair I loose the erection before we can even have sex. It is happening more often now and it is leading to having less and less sex. she takes offence to the loss of erection.

    Because it is happening more often I am getting performance anxiety which is creating a huge problem.

    I am now so sexually frustrated and have even considered straying. Not that I ever would but am finding myself fantasising about it.

    Anyone in the same boat or have any advice?

    ​

  • You Are Strong, You Can Walk Away From An Abuser

    An abusive person uses threats and violence to keep a victim compliant.

    To manipulate,.destruct and destroy.

    In a place where they have control

    Fearful to make eye contact for fear of retribution.

    They don’t want you to gaze at them

    If challenged.a coward will run

    They will see the pain in your eyes

    And perhaps

    They see themselves reflected back.

    Evil, cruel, callous and unkind.

    Then they lose the grip and over on you

    So please I’m absolutely begging you

    Left your head and see the world as a beautiful place

    See the abuser for what they are

    Cold staring ugly weasel eyes.

    No light will ever reach their soul.

    Only the fires that burn in hell

    Go back to the mirror please look again

    Detach the wounded inner self

    Love forgive and console your self

    Gaze upon a survivors reflection

    Look deep in to their eyes

    Deep down inside

    To go down to the absolute depths of despair.

    There’s only one way to go now

    Up up up up and up again

    Gaining control of your own destiny

    Please take heart things get better

    Let others love you and find out how special that you are.

    Let down the guard.

    Learn to trust your own instincts

    Draw upon your strengths

    There is no room at the inn to fail

    As my dear please believe in yourself

    Your worth a million bullies

    Strong dignified and pure inside.

    You didn’t want or ask for it

    Go into your soul and bring out the light

    With trust and compassion

    With your dignity and poise

    These are your gifts no one can destroy

    Please don’t believe ugly names toy we’re often called.

    Reverse your thinking strategy

    These names they shout is who

    They really are not you.

    Be true to you and only you

    Be brave and stand your ground

    Be your own saviour

    Remove the brick wall of isolation

    Let the hurt child in you move on

    Only then you can believe and dream

    Get help and close the wounded part

    There will always be scars and confusion

    But don’t let these people dictate

    Your life now free of aBuse

    Chin up and look up

    Be proud of all your little victories

    And rejoice breaking that cycle

    Of pain, confusion, and suffering.

    Be strong as you have survived

    And you are slowly starting to heal

    Don’t waste time on drink and drugs

    It doesn’t help and you will

    Just get arrested and locked up.

    The pain and heartache will

    Still be there in the cold daylight.

    Credit Diane Ginn

  • You Don’t Have To Be Loud and Angry To Make A Difference

    I made the mistake of thinking I had to be louder and angrier to make a difference.

    I would scream and nag people, I thought I had to join in the bitching of others to be accepted by them, I had to be the most out spoken and rude to fit in.

    I was wrong.

    I have never achieved anything worthwhile by raging, shouting at someone, putting all my energy into bad feelings, or forgetting to be compassionate, I have never made a friend who would say bad about me behind my back unlike before with all my false bitchy friends.

    I give people the benefit of the doubt, I trust that their intentions are good. Where I can I make friends, build relationships and forge connections. I never forget kindness offered to me and am willing to repay any given to me at a moments notice.

    I also make mistakes, make amends, practise again, get it wrong, try again, maybe get it right or do it all again. I learn so much from better people again and again and again.

    Slow, steady, kind, controlled is how I do it, I hope I never forget.

    You know what since I let my anger go, I sleep better, I feel better, I AM BETTER!

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  • It Can’t Be Rape As We Are In A Relationship

    I have been with my partner nearly 3 years he’s always been controlling in certain ways.

    Last month he woke me up at 4am and started touching me, me and him very rarely have sex because every time I come onto him he never wants it and when we do its on his terms, his way or the high way.

    But he carried on touching me. I laid there pretending to be a sleep for a while longer.

    Then he pulled my pants down. At this point I knew i couldn’t fake sleep anymore. Soon as I opened my eyes he said let me put it in your arse.

    I said no. He carried on. I said no. He continued to try I said no I don’t want to, I shouted STOP

    I then tried to roll over… he held my arms …

    And then continued.

    It really upset me.

    I felt broken

    I felt like I had been violated.

    But it can’t be rape we are in a relationship

    The next day I couldn’t get the incident out of my mind, I felt dirty and must have had at least 6 showers that day, I was fearful and sad, and this increased when I heard his car pull into the drive, I couldn’t look at him.

    I decided two days after the attack that it was 100% not my fault and just because I was in a relationship with him does not give him the right to my body, I was raped!!!

    Yes I reported, No he wasn’t convicted but I was free, I was safe and he knew he had done wrong.

    I just want other woman to know that if you are in a relationship that does not give your partner the right to touch you or sleep with you without your consent, NO means NO! 

  • Out Of The Closet, I Have Something To Tell You

    Out of the closet

    Hey Mum, I have something to tell you,

    “What dear” she turns and replies,

    I freak as I don’t know what to say,

    So I feed her some more lies.

    It’s hard to tell your parents,

    It’s hard to tell your friends,

    So you pretend your normal to everyone,

    You don’t want your relationship to end.

    But 30 years later,

    And your secret is still unknown,

    All the times you could have said,

    So your still in this on your own.

    You decide to pluck the courage,

    It’s time to face your fear,

    You hold the phone so tightly,

    Wiping away the tears.

    You dial the number slowly,

    Then press on call and wait,

    The dialling tone is ringing,

    I’ll hang up, maybe it’s to late.

    Then she answers “Hi dear”,

    You say hello back and sob,

    “What’s wrong” she asks she’s worried,

    Your heart begins to throb.

    “Mum, I’m sorry, I’m different”

    “I’m not who you want me to be”,

    She cries down the phone and whispers,

    “Your my daughter, now please tell me”

    “Ok” but now I’m hysterical,

    I say “Mum I am gay”,

    “I’ve known for years, I’m sorry”

    Then I take the phone away.

    I’m terrified of her reaction,

    Then my Dad comes on the phone,

    “Oh you silly Girl, we always knew”,

    “Now get your butt back home”

    I walked in through the door,

    They held me oh so tight,

    We wish you’d told us earlier,

    It would have been alright.

    So you see now I’m happy,

    I told all my Family,

    Some are distant, most are fine,

    But hey THIS IS ME 🙂

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  • I Am Too Weak To Leave My Abusive Marriage

    I am too weak to leave my abusive marriage. Walking on eggshells everyday. Trying to do all the house works while watching two little kids and still get yelled at, at the end of the day, if it is not up to his standards and he has had a bad day I may be hit . I feel sorry for the kids, so after each fight, I beg him not to leave, I do not want them to be raised without a father. After getting yelled at and abused, I asked him not to leave, I beg him, I apologise.

    He is a wonderful, loving, supportive father, he is the bread-winner, he doesn’t mean to hurt me, he is just tired after a long day at work, I must be doing something wrong, not working hard enough myself or clearly don’t give him what he so needs after a long day.

    This is how I felt three years ago I was clearly weak, NO I WAS WEAK, I had been broken down so much to think I was worthless that I believed it, no one would want me, I was scum.

    When my daughter was five years ago she fell asleep in her loving fathers lap, she had an accident in her sleep and wet herself. He leapt up from his armchair launching our daughter across he room, he launched towards her, fists raised, ready to hit our little girl, I stepped in between them, I took the punch, and you know what I woke up to the reality I was actually living in, I was not the problem, HE WAS!

    Once he was in bed, I packed a small bag for my children, and walked in the night carrying one child and holding the hand of another, I had no plan, nowhere to go, but anywhere was safer than living with him.

    Three years later and I have a job, a new relationship where I feel safe to have a voice, to have a lazy day, to let my kids be kids, life has never been better, my children remember very little of their father but sometimes my daughter will wake up crying and remembers glass breaking and my tears, I did not realise at the time that she had heard the fights, that she had snuck into her baby brothers room (he was 2 at the time) she had held him and covered his ears so he could not hear.

    Please if you are in an abusive relationship, GET OUT. GET HELP, you may think he will never hurt your children, but he will, he doesn’t have to physically hit them to cause pain, the pain of hearing their mother being abused is enough

  • To The Other Woman Who Ran Off With The Love Of My Life

    To the other woman:

    I hated you. I watched you run off with the love of my life, happily and shamelessly showing the world what you had done. It took me weeks to realize that the infidelity had been going on long before our relationship ended. It took me months to realize that my pain and tears were used as a device to manufacture your sympathy. And now, it will take me years to recover from the insecurity that comes from being triangulated with another woman.

    But I do not hate you anymore. I fear for you.

    Although we share different personalities, bodies, and spirits – when it comes to this relationship, we are the same woman.

    You see, I once rode the high that you’re currently living. I was the special one. The most beautiful, perfect, flawless partner in the world. I saved him from the pain of his last, crazy ex. I sympathized with him about how horribly she treated him, according to him. I was elated to be the woman who finally made him happy, after all of his alleged suffering. He was fascinated by me. He spent every waking moment texting me and showering me with attention.

    Does this sound familiar?

    One must wonder, in this short span of time, how I suddenly became crazy. Bipolar. Jealous. Needy. Clingy. Abusive. How did that happen? Is it really possible for a person to go from flawless to horrible in the blink of an eye? And furthermore, is it really possible that his previous ex was all of these things as well? And what about the ex before that?

    The common denominator has become startlingly clear.

    For so long, I punished myself. I truly believed that I deserved it. Something must be wrong with me, I thought, in order for him to run off into the sunset with another woman. So happily and enthusiastically.

    But then I realized, I was once that woman. I was you.

    And because of that, I understand that I can never save you from this nightmare. Psychopathic victims cannot escape once they have been groomed. For the rest of your relationship, you will deny reality and invent reasons that you might be the exception. You will lie to yourself, desperately trying to recreate your perfect dream. But ever so slowly, your identity will begin to fall apart. Like sandpaper, he will push your boundaries until you don’t even know who you are anymore.

    Another woman will enter the scene. It is inevitable in relationships with narcissistic men. You will be strung along for as long as possible, as I once was. Your increasingly volatile reactions will be used against you, to evoke sympathy from the new target.

    And eventually, you will be me.

    This is why I fear for you. I would not wish the pain & suffering I’ve experienced on anyone. I know that your intentions were not malicious. I know that you were being spoon-fed the exact same lies I believed a long time ago.

    The story you’ve been told is false. It was a pity ploy, designed to enhance your fairytale and consume your heart. You will not believe that today, but someday this letter will make sense. Brutal, heartbreaking sense.

    I can only hope that the aftermath of your abuse might be guided by this letter. I can only hope that this might provide you with the tools that I was never given. A puzzle piece, to jumpstart your journey.

    I do not hate you. That is what he would want.

    Psychopathic mind games are invincible to everything but love. I will not carry on his legacy by taking part in these triangles anymore, injecting jealousy & hatred to fill the void of his soul.

    I’ve made it through to the other side, and I know you can too. Please have the same empathy for the woman who replaces you. We can only ever stop this cycle of abuse with compassion for one another. By recognizing that all human beings deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, and honesty. By recognizing that there is no other woman – we are all that woman.

    Wishing you love, hope, and above all: freedom.

    original source unknown

  • relationship goals … 2

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  • Don’t Marry A Health Care Assistant

    Don’t marry a Health care assistant. They sleep all day while you work and work all night while you sleep. Or, their 0500 alarm disturbs your sleep and then they come home too tired to cook dinner. Don’t marry a Health care assistant.

    They walk in the door mentally exhausted and sometimes forget to even say hello. Don’t marry a Health care assistant. They run out of patience and snap at the slightest question or demand. Don’t marry a Health care assistant. They constantly complain about germs or access for people in public. It can be embarrassing.

    Don’t marry a Health care assistant. Their stories are not dinner-at-your-moms appropriate. Don’t marry a Health care assistant. Your complaints of a sore throat will hardly be heard. Don’t marry a Health care assistant. They spend so much of their energy on their patients that they have nothing left to give to you when their shift ends.

    Don’t marry a Health care assistant. They don’t make you a priority when they agree to work on their days off Don’t marry a Health care assistant.

    They’re so emotionally unstable that sometimes they come home and just cry for no reason. Don’t marry a Health care assistant. They are constantly in crisis about where their life is going. Don’t marry a Health care assistant.

    Marry a Heath care assistant. They are brave enough to take on any challenge. Marry a Heath care assistant. They get up every day to put others first. Marry a Health care assistant. They have the best gut instincts to know when something is wrong.

    Marry a Health care assistant. They have felt with depths of their hearts unknown to most people. Marry a Health care assistant. They’re always ready to help someone in need. Marry a Health care assistant. They see things that others don’t. Marry a Health care assistant. They give their all and utilize every talent they have. Marry a Health care assistant. They know what it means to sacrifice. Marry a Health care assistant. They were brave enough to embrace a duty that never sleeps.

    Marry a Health care assistant. They have learned to adjust without complaining. Marry a Health care assistant. They are strong enough to hold back tears until they are alone. Marry a Health care assistant. They never settle for less than they are capable of. Marry a Health care assistant. They succeed in times of unknown.

    Marry a Health care assistant. They know the value of life. Marry a Health care assistant. They are the best comforters. Marry a Health care assistant. They know time is precious. Marry a Health care assistant. Those quiet moments truly are sacred. Marry a Health care assistant. Because if you have the chance to marry a Health care assistant, that means they are trusting you to help them carry a beautiful burden that you will never understand. Marry a Health care assistant.

  • real life relationship goals

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