Tag: pregnant

  • If You Don’t Pay Child Support You Are Scum

    If you don’t pay child support, as a man, you’re a piece of shit.

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    For some dumb reason I have men message me and ask questions in frustration with their ex spouse, my first question is… are you up to date on child support? If the answer is anything other than YES, I’m done listening to you. I don’t care if your Ex is crazy, I don’t care if she spends it on herself, I don’t care if she burns the money.

    No good man will ever have a problem with giving money to a woman, he got pregnant, for the children she bore for him. At the end of the day if a woman birthed your child and now has to fight with you to help take care of that child, you are worthless and if you think you are an excuse to this post you are not. If you don’t have 100% custody or pay for child support you need to reflect long and hard. You are the problem. Period.

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    I’ve had this stupid question a lot from some of you single Fathers and I’m tired of it. STEP UP AND BE A MAN, YOU HAD THE CHILDREN, NOW TAKE CARE OF THEM.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/TheMuscleOfDieselSellerz/

     

  • He Cheated In The Worst Way

    Last year me and my husband  were watching Netflix when he got a call. He took it in the other room, but I could hear him and could tell he was upset. After a few minutes he came out, said he’d be right back, and left without answering my many questions.

    About an hour later he came back with my best friend.  This was odd, but I politely greeted her, thinking to myself why has he gone and collected my best friend.

    My husband told me to sit and they sat next to each other on the couch across from me, was one of the ill I thought to myself, what is going on?

    She was really uncomfortable and wasn’t making eye contact with me, and my husband couldn’t look at me. He looked passed me and told me what was wrong. He told me that he had cheated on me, and that she was pregnant, and that she had been kicked out of her house so he offered her our spare bedroom.

    She was four months pregnant and we had barely been married a year and he had already fucked another girl, if he were going to cheat he could at least of picked someone else.

    I felt sick, embarrassed, angry and betrayed, and the fact that he let her live here without asking me was too much.

    I couldn’t even bring myself to yell at him. Or throw something at him. I just cried. I cried for about ten minutes, and the my asshole husband never comforted me, or even looked at me. All he could say was “well…. sorry”. I couldn’t bring myself to kick her out so I’ve let her stay, i was basically taking care of the girl who ruined my marriage, who I used to confided in.

    In one night I lost my husband and my best friend, I was used, it is clear to me now that neither of them loved me, and you know what I no longer care, I am not angry, I am not sad I am free, my best friend actually did me a favour I didn’t have to spend a life time with a man who did not love me.

    They aren’t together anymore, my husband does see the child but only once a fortnight as he lives in a dirty house share, I however have found a rewarding career ad awaiting a huge party when my divorce is finalised.

  • Don’t Keep Saying You Want This Baby Out Of You

    As a mum of not just one but two premature babies, what can really grind me down are mums to be saying “how do I get this baby out” at just 30+ weeks.

    Did you know statistics can show that one extra day in you is 2 days less in neo-natal, neo-natal where you have to ask to hold your baby, ask for skin on skin. Neo-natal where you are reduced in cuddles as baby needs rest, rest helps babies grow you know! Neo-natal where it seems like these amazing nurses feel like your babies mum.

    Neo-natal is isolating, there are tears…also of joy.

    For those mums wanting their babies, just hold on that little longer. Seeing your baby attached to machines and poked with needles is not fun.

    The nurses work hard, they have many babies to look after…..don’t try to increase their work load, enjoy the last few weeks being pregnant.

    Many mums would love to have stayed pregnant for an extra few weeks or in some cases months so they would not have had to see their precious small, fragile baby hooked up to machinery and or fighting for life.

    Please I urge you do not try to bring on early labour, we ear all to often of women taking castor oil or worse to bring on labour, did you know that castor oil can cause your baby to poo inside you, cause you severe diarrhoea and can make baby very distressed.

    Labour should only be brought on early in a hospital for medical reasons.

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  • He Beat The Baby Out Of Her- Domestic Violence

    Last year it finally happened. The mother of another girl messaged me and said he’s doing it again he is hitting and beating and being abusive to her daughter. I spoke to her mum, I spoke to the girl.

    The mum was desperate to save her daughter but the girl has gone back to him again, she has been brain washed by this man she believes he won’t do it again, BUT HE WILL.

    Less than a month later I receive another call the poor girl, was beaten so badly she had to have her jaw wired, she went back again, she believed his lies, she believed she deserved it, she was wrong, no one deserves to be beaten, no one deserves to feel so worthless.

    Then it happened the worst thing possible, she became pregnant, then came the accusations that she was cheating, how she possibly could cheat when he never lets her out of his sights.

    Her loving mum called me a few months ago, the girl had got to 4 months pregnant and he became jealous of their growing fetus, he basically beat the baby out of her, she sadly lost the life that was growing inside of her, she plunged deeper and deeper into depression and ultimately took her own life.

    I speak to her mum regularly, she is understandably broken and doesn’t understand why her daughter didn’t just leave, but sometimes it isn’t that simple, sometimes woman have to have more help than just family or friends telling them he is bad.

    I wish I had done more, I wish I had referred her to the police, the Samaritans ANYONE in authority.

    If a man has beaten one girlfriend the chances are he will beat the next, please listen to others when it comes to domestic violence, be wary and listen to your instincts.

    Sender wishes to remain anonymous

  • Stop Asking Couples When They Are Having Kids

    ‘-we are just enjoying being newly married

    -we have some travelling we want to do first

    -I’m just focusing on my career right now…..

    These are just a few of the reasons I used (with a forced smile) to mask what was really going on. I wasn’t always that pleasant. One day I responded with ‘it’s not that f***ing easy, you know’. I had just got my period that morning…. again.

    They would tell me that I’m not going to be young forever or that my maternal clock was ticking. And believe me, I knew it. I just didn’t need to hear it from everyone else.

    Trying to conceive isn’t easy unless you are a highly fertile 17 year old, that could fall pregnant just by talking about it. The odds of conception and retaining a pregnancy are actually pretty shit, topped off with the huge amount of people that are reproductively challenged with polycystic ovaries, endometriosis etc etc. And I was one of them….

    I remember the day, vividly. I had to go to work after we had the appointment and I thought that was it for me. No kids. My husband, always the optimistic one said that we would try the treatments suggested and that it was not over. We even had a very frank discussion about adopting. We were told to expect a long road ahead, if we decided to take it.

    IVF sucks. It is the most time consuming, invasive, expensive and emotionally painful roller coaster I have been on. It actually broke me. You have so much invested in the process, financially and emotionally that it consumes your every thought.

    When you are having difficulty conceiving, it seems everyone around you is falling pregnant. It’s easy to be happy for them at first but that brave face wears thin after a while. I even started to decline going to certain get togethers and attending baby birthdays were just painful. I became quite bitter, desperate and depressed.

    But one year later, I got up for work and did a quick test, expecting the usual mind-numbing result. I crawled back into bed with my husband. He rolled over and said ‘you’re pregnant, aren’t you’!? I was. I didn’t have to say a thing. My face said it all. We were one of the lucky ones.

    But many couples will be trying for years. And some may never succeed and my heart goes out to them. And what about the couple that doesn’t want kids? Or the couple that had a child but can’t afford to have another? Or those that have lost little ones? Even though we went through IVF and had such a struggle to have our Harvey, soon after we were asked… ‘so when are you having number two’? And now that I have two wonderful children and I feel our family is pretty complete, the question still comes….

    So, next time you go to say that ‘throw away’ comment to the newly weds or the couple that have been together for ten years, be sensitive. Don’t ask them when they are having kids. You never know what’s going on.’

    Full Credit: Adele Barbaro- The Real Mumma

  • Sheep Can Be Dangerous If You’re Pregnant

    Pregnant animals, or those that have recently given birth, may carry germs that can harm pregnant women, such as chlamydiosis, listeriosis, Q fever and toxoplasmosis, some may cause still birth, birth defects or other issues.

    These infections are rare in humans but, even so, it is still best to avoid any potential danger. This means no petting farms, milking ewes, delivering or being involved with the birthing of lambs, calves or kids.

    Possible contaminated materials such as bedding or clothing should be avoided too and contaminated clothes should be washed on a hot cycle, separate from other washing, you can never be too safe, if you do have to come into contact with animals wear protective gloves and an apron and change your clothes as soon as you can and ensure hands are washed throughly especially before eating .

    If pregnant women have had contact with these animals and notice flu-like symptoms, such as a fever, they are being advised to seek medical advice and to state which animals they have been close to and whether or not the animal was pregnant or had just given birth.

    Although the number of human pregnancies affected by contact with sheep is extremely small, it is important for pregnant women to avoid close contact with sheep and other livestock that have recently given birth.

    We are not trying to scare woman but are simply trying to make pregnant woman of the potential dangers around farm animals.

    If you would like to share your story, advertise or want to raise awareness of any topic then please email us at mumsadviceltd@outlook.com

  • Today It Happened He Asked To Try For Another Baby

    Today it happened.

    My fiancée brought up getting pregnant again. I knew it would happen.

    He said “I want to see if we can have a normal pregnancy you know. Have a baby come home two days later and you actually get to breastfeed.”

    I told him I never want to be pregnant again and if we really want another child we can adopt, I cannot be pregnant again, I mean biologically I can but Mentally I cannot do it.

    I really would like to get pregnant and have an easy pregnancy but I’m too scared to. I delivered my twins at beautiful twins at 25 weeks and 4 days, my baby girl passed away, and Max my baby boy spent 140 days in the NICU before he could come home, every day I sat by him, praying he would survive and was so happy he was still with me but at the same time mourning the loss of my little girl and organising her burial all whilst my son held on to his life and was fighting for every breath . I CANNOT DO IT AGAIN.

    My partner has suggested I have therapy and thinks that I might have PTSD, how can I be pregnant again, what if it happens again I don’t think I have the strength to fight my emotions again, to see my baby struggle, to loss another baby, yes i may go on to have a “normal” pregnancy and birth but I do not want to take that risk I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH!!!

    How do I make my partner understand that I am weak but at the same time I am just happy to be a mum to one, or am I ill, should I get over my traumatic time and bite the bullet and try for another child?

  • I Am In Hell Because It Is Not My Baby

    Sitting in the labour and delivery room at the hospital with my sister. My mum, who is also pregnant, just showed up. I’m smiling, and carrying on conversations, but inside? I am in hell.

    I guess I’m a very selfish and mean person because I don’t think it’s fair. I don’t think it’s fair that I was the one who was actively trying to get pregnant, but instead God not only blessed one of my family members, but two with the gift that I had been praying for, for YEARS.

    I hate feeling this way. I am beyond happy for them, but at the same time I’m over here struggling to keep my composure and not burst into tears. It’s not fair that I’m the one who has to go through this pain. It’s not fair that each month I take dose after dose of medication and pray so fervently that God will bless me with a child.

    I changed my eating habits, I changed my lifestyle. This was supposed to be my moment, or like my moment, where everyone shows up to the hospital because they’re excited for the new baby. But it’s not. It’s not my baby, it’s not my moment, and I won’t even pretend to understand why I’m in this situation. I don’t see in just black and white anymore. I look around and I wonder just how many women are in my shoes.

    How many women go through the channels on tv and see a newborn baby on one of those nappy commercials, and you just feel your heart tear into pieces inside your chest. You can’t walk down the baby aisles because you know that if you buy it and it doesn’t happen yet again, you’ll be left looking at that item knowing that it’s still just an item and not YOUR baby’s. How many women have cried themselves to sleep at night because all they want is to start a family? I’m so happy, but I’m not.

    Here I am, listening to them talk and joke around, but I feel like the joke is on me and sometimes I wonder if God is listening to me. Please tell me i’m not alone.

  • What Abortion Really Feels Like- Don’t Suffer In Silence

    WHAT ABORTION REALLY FEELS LIKE

    Three years later and I’m still wondering when my nightmares and flashbacks will ever stop.

    Was it really the right thing to do?

    That’s the price you pay for abortion – a lifetime of guilt.

    It’s a subject no woman ever wants to talk about, for fear of being judged or shamed – being labelled as irresponsible or stupid.

    If I hear another story where a man has casually said “just get rid of it” to a woman he’s accidentally impregnated, I’ll fucking scream.

    You see, it’s just not that fucking easy.

    On the 29th July, 2013 at 10:30am, I was sat in a waiting room with another 7 women, all waiting to have an abortion.

    For the “pro-lifers”, yes, I murdered my baby.

    Did I want to? No. But it was the right thing to do.

    I was a single, working mum of a one year old and I was at a good point in my life. I had a nice home, I paid my bills, I had good friends and I’d just begun to socialize again properly.

    To cut a long story short, I had been seeing somebody for a few months. I really fell for him and things were going well between us.

    Until I fell pregnant.

    Yes, I fell pregnant. I had been taking the pill and I fell in to the 0.01% category of it failing to work.

    You see, I always said I would and never could abort a baby.

    I was that person who didn’t understand how somebody could make that kind of decision.

    How stupid and narrow-minded was I to say that? 

    I’d never been in that position, until now.

    My head was screaming “You can’t have another baby!”, but my heart was pleading for me to keep it.

    But I couldn’t. 

    I already had a baby who I loved so dearly and I brought him in to the world without a father, I couldn’t do it again, it would be so unfair.

    He agreed. 

    I went to my doctor the following day and booked the consultation at the clinic for the following week.

    It was a three-stage process;

    • You have a consultation (without your partner) to make sure this is genuinely the right decision you (not him) want to make.

    • You have an undignified, internal ultrasound with a 10 inch probe to confirm your “unwanted” pregnancy. (This is a technique they use to try to gently persuade you to keep your baby)

    • You get a second consultation to confirm how you’d like the abortion performed, if you’d like a contraceptive inserted and when you’d like the procedure to take place.

    My options?

    I chose to look away from the screen whilst being internally examined, so I couldn’t see my viable pregnancy – all I knew was that I was 6 weeks pregnant.

    I asked if I could have a general anaesthetic for my abortion and to have the mirena coil fitted at the same time for my next contraceptive, which lasts up to 5 years.

    I didn’t ever want to have to face this again.

    And I chose the soonest available date to have my termination.

    Why wait? 

    Monday 29th July 2013

    It was raining.

    How could I forget?

    It was the most emotional, depressing morning of my life.

    I was getting my one year old dressed to stay with his Grandma, whilst I was about to leave to have another baby taken away from me.

    I wasn’t allowed to eat before the operation, which just happened to be the only thing that made sense that morning, because I felt sick to my stomach.

    My “partner” picked me up at 9:00am and we set off for Bournemouth to be there for 10:30am.

    The drive was fairly awkward. I knew that after this, there’d be no “us” and that today it was the end for not one, but two important things to me.

    I remember zoning out on the motorway and trying to tune in to the music on the radio, but all I could tune in to was the dread of what was about to happen.

    Time seemed to fly by and we finally arrived at the clinic.

    I began to question if we were really in the right place, because it didn’t look like a hospital. It was just a big house.

    Maybe they’ve got it wrong and I don’t have to go through with this after all.

    But I soon spotted the clinic’s logo on a plaque, firmly nailed next to a call bell.

    We definitely got it right.

    I took a deep breath and I pressed it.

    “Hello, can you confirm who you are please?” answered the receptionist.

    I proceeded to answer, followed by “I’m here for an abortion.”

    What the fuck just came out of my mouth?

    Yeah, I was there for an abortion; one of the few things I swore I’d never do, but now I’m actually here.

    I ‘checked in’ with my “partner” at the front desk. I was politely asked to take a seat “with the rest of them” and told I’d be called through when they were ready.

    I don’t remember how I felt during that waiting period, but it was nothing less than shitting myself I doubt. 

    “Nicole Williams please.”

    This was it. Gulp.

    We stood up and walked towards the consultant, who then asked for my “partner” to basically fuck off for a few hours.

    “We’ll call you when she’s finished.”

    Well, fuck. I did not expect that.

    I was far too emotionally exhausted to argue or question it. I just wanted this to be over.

    I followed her in to a room where she took my obs and just confirmed once again if this is what I wanted.

    No, not really. But it was the lesser of two evils.

    Out I went in to a waiting room of girls, all sat there silently, staring at the floor.

    Some had been crying because they’d wanted their partners there, others were scared of being put to sleep and some were just devastated by it all.

    Me? I did my usual thing. I covered my hurting by having a laugh about it.

    I sat down, I assessed everything around me and I did what I do best.

    “So, what are you all in here for?”

    A few looked up and smiled, a couple of them even giggled.

    Of course, I knew why they were all here. They were here for the same reason as I was.

    Never before had the saying “we’re all in the same boat” applied as much as it did on this day. 

    I felt comfortable with these women, because we were all ultimately there for one reason.

    I introduced myself and gave “my story”.

    I didn’t get to know all of their stories, but the ones I did hear were all so different; one woman had a child with her partner already and she wasn’t ready for another, a married woman with grown up children was there because it was a genuine mistake after her husband had just had “the snip” and there was me, who’d had been taking precautions by taking the pill and still got pregnant anyway.

    We all had one thing in common; they were all unplanned and we’d been trying to prevent pregnancy, yet still ended up in this situation. 

    We must have been waiting for an hour before anything more happened…

    A cheery nurse appeared in a doorway after what felt like hours of waiting, then one by one, she would call a  girl from the waiting room we all shared.

    It was like waiting to be gassed or taken to a slaughterhouse.

    Every time a girl left to go with the nurse, we would wish her luck, tell her it was going to be okay and assure her we’d see her soon.

    This wasn’t okay though. It wasn’t how I’d imagined. 

    Next up was me.

    There were two girls I left in the waiting room, crying because they knew their time was coming.

    I wish I could take their pain away. 

    I followed the nurse in to another waiting room, where I found all of the previous girls I’d been sat with that morning.

    They were all wearing hospital gowns, with their hair tied up, bare finger and toe nails, no make up and clearly shitting themselves.

    Before I could actually piece together what was going on in my head, the nurse abruptly pointed to a small cubicle in the corner of the waiting room and instructed for me draw the curtain, to take off my clothes and put my gown on.

    I had to put any valuables I had in my handbag and bring it out with me when I was finished.

    I had only five minutes to do this.

    I sheepishly walked out of the cubicle and back I was, with these women who had not yet been put out of their misery; it felt like we were on death row. 

    We’d already wished each other luck and we’d cried so much, we couldn’t cry anymore.

    It was painfully silent. Deafening, actually. We knew what was coming next.

    Minutes felt like hours and then the same happened again, with a different nurse.

    One by one, it was their “turn”.

    This nurse was different; she was hard-faced and insensitive.

    She was an old-fashioned nurse – she had her hair tied up in to a tight chignon, she was incredibly slim, she wore an elasticated cinch belt and she didn’t mince her words either.

    To put it nicely, she was a cunt and I wanted to rip her throat out.

    It wasn’t long before she appeared in the doorway, looked above me and called out “Nicole” in a monotone voice.

    I stood up and followed her through to a “side room”, where she told me to lay on a bed and put my belongings underneath.

    The only time she spoke to me was when she told me she was inserting my cannula, that was it.

    She scooted off to get the anaesthetic to insert in to my cannula, and I just laid there looking up at the light above me, with tears streaming down my face and in to my ears.

    Please, please let this be the end.

    She soon returned with a trolley of syringes and told me that she would be inserting them in to my cannula and I would go off to sleep.

    Thank God.

    After all of the drugs had been administered, she began to wheel me off down to theatre and I was told to count to ten.

    1, 2, 3, 4, 5…

    Who are all of these people?

    6, 7…

    I’m still not asleep. I should be asleep.

    …8, 9…

    Why are they walking towards me?

    10…

    Why is he opening my legs whilst I’m still awake?

    Boom.

    I was awake and all I could hear was crying.

    Women, crying.

    They’d woken up too, in exactly the same place I’d woken up.

    We were in hell.

    I looked up at the clock and it was 14:15. It had only taken 15 minutes to rip my baby away.

    MY baby.

    But it wasn’t over yet.

    I was bleeding between my legs and I had what felt like a nappy stuck under my bum.

    I felt bruised, tired and completely violated.

    But the worst pain was knowing that I had no baby anymore.

    I was heartbroken. 

    I was told to get dressed and get my things up together, so I did.

    After half an hour, I was sent down to the lounge area for a cup of tea and a biscuit.

    Yeah, just like that. Because a fucking digestive biscuit makes it all better.

    I told them I felt fine to leave, so they called my “partner” and he came to collect me.

    I walked down the corridor and I cried.

    I’m not sure if I cried because I was sad or because leaving that place was like escaping from a prison camp.

    And after it all happened?

    All I knew was that I never wanted to be there again and I had the biggest respect for any woman who has undergone a termination.

    I’ve woken up sobbing because I’ve had nightmares which include seeing my dead baby, having my baby snatched away or murdered in my sleep, I’ve been robbed of being a parent in so many ways.

    It’s not just “getting rid”, it’s emotional baggage you carry with you forever; so before you judge a woman for terminating her unborn child, please keep in mind that it wasn’t fucking easy.

    If your partner needs support before or after her termination, please, be there for her.

    I wasn’t so lucky and it’s only now, three years later, I’ve finally spoken out about it.

    Don’t suffer in silence.

    Full Credit to our friend at www.theunicorninblack.com

  • Grandad Saves Toddler From Drowning

    Lauren lawlor walker has taken to Facebook to share her Grandads story.

    Walker said “

    So earlier on today my grandad TOM WALKER was standing outside of his job and heard a woman scream as he turned his head around the corner he seen a pregnant woman running around in circles screaming her head off beside the canal. As my grandad was getting closer and closer and faster and faster he seen something in the water, a little pair of legs, so as he was running he took his jacket and shoes off and threw them aside and immediately jumped into the water in his clothes.

    There was also another man helping to save the little girl.My grandad then got the child out of the water to see it was a 2-year-old little girl with scratches on her and completely turned off colour. He checked her airways to see if there was anything blocking them and also checked her pulse to find that there was none.

    He then started to do CPR on the little girl ( he is trained and knew what he was doing ) while he was doing CPR there were plenty of people asking him if he even knew what he was doing and after 20 minutes of continuing to do CPR my grandad brought the 2-year-old little girl back to life! She began to spit up the dirty water. After ambulances and fire brigades arrived he then walked back into work in his soaking wet clothes. He then got collected and on his way home a 40ft truck crashed into the car he was in but everyone is okay. It has been an extremely stressful day for him, emotions are everywhere.

    The mans grandaughter is incredibly proud of her hero grandfather and added “Please share this post around so everyone can see what an amazing thing my grandad did today, he’s such a loving, caring and generous man who would do anything for others and our family would love for other people to see this too! PLEASE SHARE!❤❤❤”