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Tag: Mum

  • What Type Of Mum Are You? Take The Mum Quiz

    Take the quiz and find out which type of mum you are

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  • Child Maintenance Service Is It Failing

    Child Maintenance Service Is It Failing

    The child support agency (csa) has nearly completely changed to the child maintenance service (cms).

    There was promises of huge changes and improvements with this service, but many parents feel nothing has improved and they are still very much out-of-pocket.

    One mum said

    “Really starting to give up 😢why are they letting these dads not face there responsibilities it’s so wrong and not fair on us mums!😠”

    Another mum took to social media to rant about the injustice of the whole system and how the non-resident parent can lie and get away with it.

    “Got a letter in the post today. Yearly review. Kids so-called dad has finally declared an income to HMRC ÂŁ32.40 a week. WOW I mean WOW. What’s that like just over 4hrs a week at minimum wage he is getting away with declaring? He is self-employed and earning way more than that but can still buck the system. Let’s see if January 18th he makes the 1st payment I’m guessing I will never see a penny in my life from him”

    The child maintenance service can work if the non-resident parent is employer or honest, if he is employed the service can take money directly from his wages or bank account.

    Mums and dads who are self-employed are however fiddling the system and claiming they earn less than they do.

    One mum we spoke to said her ex is a self-employed taxi driver the mum knows he works a minimum of 60 hours a week but he claims he only earns £65.60 a week, which is impossible and is even more infuriating when he has had a full sleeve tattoo done, been on three holidays last year and manages to go out drinking at least 4 times a month, yet she only receives £7 a week in payments for two children and cms takes a percentage of that for themselves.

    Not only are they dodging their financial parental responsibilities but screwing over the tax man, little seems to be done about this though and parents are left feeling frustrated and helpless.

    When parents have contacted the cms they are told there is nothing they can do their ends and the parent is to prove that their ex is earning more, many people have complained about the child maintenance service and feel that many of the employees are incompetent and lack the resources to actually deal with their claim.

    Have you had a bad experience with the csa or cms? We would love to hear from you

     

     

  • Teen mum accused of faking her pregnancy hits back!

    All women are different.
    It’s not a hard concept, however some people do, unfortunately, seem to struggle with it.

    We are all so very different in many ways, this includes of course how our bodies react and change during pregnancy.

    This mum-to-be is finding out the hard way how hurtful and disrespectful other people can be because of this.

    Reanna Stephens is 18-years-old and from South Carolina, USA.  Although you may not guess it to look at her but Reanna is 6 months pregnant!

    Unlike some other women Reanna has almost no visible baby bump.
    Reanna puts this down to her vegan diet as well staying active and healthy during her pregnancy.

    Unfortunately because of Reannas seemingly flat tummy she has been shamed by strangers in the street asking her if she’s faking her pregnancy, if her baby is healthy and whether she is anorexic.

    Now Reanna has shared her story to show that expectant mothers can have naturally smaller bumps and remain healthy.

    Reanna had this to say:
    “People really affect me with their comments, I try to stay calm as I know both me and my baby are healthy.

    “My baby is growing the perfect amount every month as it’s measured, just like everyone else’s, so it’s absolutely nothing to do with mine or the baby’s health.

    “I have compared my bump over my pregnancy to people on different parent pages on Facebook, and it’s not as big as other people’s.

    “But I love my small bump, it’s not big, but I think it’s perfect in its own way and it’s my body and my bump – no one else’s.

    “I have had people stopping me in the street and giving me nasty looks.

    “It’s heartbreaking that instead of getting, ‘Aw, look at your bump!’ I get people being rude to me as soon as they realise how far gone I am.

    “People have asked me, ‘You’re not faking your pregnancy are you?’, and ‘Are you sure your baby is healthy?’ as well as people telling me I need to eat more and see a doctor in case I starve my child.

    “I have also been told that I shouldn’t be having a baby if I can’t feed myself, but people know nothing about my diet or lifestyle.

    “Luckily I have the support of my family, because my mother was in a similar situation when she was pregnant.

    “She was an athlete and she didn’t show until she was seven-months pregnant.

    “Although I’m much smaller than her, I believe being active has a part to play in the size of your bump.”

    Reanna is due to give birth to a baby boy in April.  We wish her the best of luck!

  • Yes I Have A Favourite Child, I Am Not Ashamed

    Yes I have a favourite child I am not ashamed to say it although I do not make it obvious to my children or the outside world.

    I am the proud mother of two boys a sensitive kind six-year-old named Oscar and a cheeky, funny ten-year old called Charlie who has the condition cystic fibrosis .

    I love Charlie more than Oscar.

    You see my ten-year old needs me much more, I’ve sat up with him through long cold nights, I’ve comforted him, I watched him struggle to breathe and nearly lost him countless times from a variety of infections, I,ve held him and cried with him, I can do little too take away his pain  tears.

    Charlie is my favourite for he is the one who needs my love the most, he doesn’t have many friends as he’s often off school Ill with lung infections or shortness of breathe, I feel immense guilt for giving him this condition, and would give anything to take it away, as a mother you want to help your child but somethings you just cant help.

    My youngest son wouldn’t know that I love his brother more, and I guess most parents in some way favour one child over the other although few would admit it.

    So yes I have a favourite child and I feel absolutely no guilt for the way my heart feels, I love both my children but I’m closer to one than the other, why is it such a taboo subject to say you have a favourite child?

    It is human nature to be closer to somethings more than another, this is why we have favourite pets, a best friend, a parent you are closer to, a favourite outfit so why not a favourite child.

     

  • This Picture Makes Me Sad And Reminds Me How Awful I Was

    This picture actually makes me sad, while others treasure their scan photos all this does is remind me of how awful I was.

    I didn’t announce my pregnancy until I was over 20 weeks and even then I wasn’t going to because to be honest I was embarrassed and ashamed. Ashamed of the situation I had put myself, I was 17 years old, pregnant with a guy I wasn’t with and who offered to pay for my abortion, working a part-time job and out partying 24/7.

    After I reached the point of no return where abortion was concerned I started to question myself “have I done the right thing?” I’ll be bringing up a child on my own, in a bedroom in my mum and dad’s house, I’ll have no life and no other guy will want to be with me when I have someone else’s child.

    It was all about me! I struggled to “bond” with the bump, never spoke to anyone about how I felt and constantly thought I had made the wrong decision. Eventually I gave birth (awfully of course) which made the situation even worse, I didn’t have any skin to skin contact to bond with her, she was just taken away, I’ve never felt so emotionally, mentally or physically drained in my entire life, looking back on it now I remember the bare minimum.

    I know they took my little girl away to the NICU and came to let me know she had to go another hospital 100 miles away, I was so exhausted I didn’t even want to go and see her, I just wanted to sleep but I did, I sat there in a wheelchair like a zombie totally zoned out while a midwife “milked me” like a cow. Then asked to go to bed.

    The next day I went to the  children’s hospital as baby had been taken there overnight, I remember seeing her all tubed up and my stomach sank, I didn’t know what to do. I still didn’t feel a bond between us, I couldn’t even hold her, she didn’t have a name for 4 days.

    I should have received a lot of help from a psychologist or someone to sort my head out after this but the hospital didn’t offer anything so I just got on with it, looking back I strongly think I suffered with Post natal depression but never spoke to anyone about how I was feeling (as I do).

    I went to the hospital first thing in the morning to last thing at night but still didn’t feel like I should have towards her. Getting her home I remember thinking I wished I could go out and do what I want, have my life back, I was still a good mum but I wasn’t happy. I can’t remember what or when it was that changed in my mind but my baby became my everything as she should’ve been from day 1.

    I feel sick now even thinking that I thought that way. I still think about my life before and how easy it was and I didn’t have to get a babysitter to go to a friend’s birthday but that’s not worth anything compared to having a mini you, my little girl is one of the most beautiful children I’ve met even though I’m biased, she makes me laugh every single day without fail!

    I regret not celebrating my pregnancy and enjoying it for her, I regret not asking for help and I regret doubting my decisions but I don’t think I’d be where I am today if it wasn’t for that.

    I think meeting my new partner was a big turning point, knowing there was someone who would love me with a child. Not only love me but love my child more than anything as if she was his own, now she is his, he’s her dad and we now have another beautiful daughter to fill our lives with happiness. I haven’t suffered any PND this time round thank god, I can’t leave this baby alone 😂 I wish so much it had been the same with my first and I had seeked help. If you have bothered to read this massive spiel and you or someone you know might be suffering from PND then please get help, it is fixable. ❤️

    Related article: http://mums-advice-old-copy.local/to-the-mum-pnd-you-are-not-alone/

     

  • Should Parents Have To Work At Christmas

    Should Parents Have To Work At Christmas

    I am a lone parent and up until last week was a respected night carer, having worked for 18 months for the same employer.

    Last year I worked Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, fine by me.

    This year I was scheduled to work Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year’s Eve and day, night shifts.

    Now I understand I have to do my fair share but spoke with my employer and explained as a lone parent to three small children I would be unable to get child care for the Christmas Eve shift, even if I could have, my children’s Christmas would have been ruined, Santa wouldn’t come until I returned home, small children forced to wait several hours for me to get home and a very tired mum.

    My employer in his wisdom decided it was my choice to have children and he would not change the rota.

    Well I’d rather lose my job than my children, there was no one to look after my children that night and would never in a million years leave them home alone, I had no option but to hand in my notice, I debated just going “sick” for the shift but knew my employer would take disciplinary action.

    I spoke with a group of mothers at a playgroup and many thought my employer was being unfair, but one mum said “why would you get a job that requires you to work over Christmas to start with?, those without children deserve Christmas off as well.

    So this began a debate, should parents have to work Christmas?

    Should dads get as much time off as mums, should lone parents get priority?

    Well in an ideal world everyone would get time off, but hospitals, care homes, police and fire services and many other professions have no other choice but to remain open.

    I do feel that people should be given the option to work on which days suit them during the festive period, there are people who enjoy working other Christmas for the over time or simple do not celebrate it.

    If staff cannot come to arrangement to cover shifts then I do feel Christmas Day should be given off to those with small children.

    Let me know your thoughts in the comments, should parents get Christmas off?

     

  • A Day In The Life Of A Mum On Benefits

    A Day In The Life Of A Mum On Benefits

    I wake my children and prepare their breakfast, there is moans and tears as we don’t have the cereals they like, toast is all I can provide.

    My 9-year-old sobs as he has to have school dinner again, I cannot afford to do a packed lunch so he is forced to have the free school meal.

    My 5-year-old is sad that she doesn’t have a shopkins back pack like her friends.

    My 7 year has written his Christmas list: a set of real Lego and that is all he wants.

    Whilst my children are safe at school, I apply and apply for jobs but having no experience or qualifications no one is interest.

    I applied for McDonald’s, cleaning jobs literally everything and never get far.

    This week is my week to attend the job centre, I see my advisor and again she makes me feel like shit.

    I want to work, I want a chance at a better life but I cannot get a break.

    I’m classed as a dole scrounger or benefit whore, but I would work anywhere to get off of benefits.

    I am fed up of hearing how those on benefits are better off, each week I struggle to feed my family and pay my bills.

    There is nothing easy about being on benefits, the shame, embarrassment and the poverty, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

    I never asked for this life, I was a kept woman, a house wife a mother, I did not ask for my partner of 13 years to leave me. But then again maybe it’s karma, I lived a fine life and took it for granted, I looked down on those on benefits and now I am walking in their shoes.

    One day some how I will find a way to hold my head high and say I am in paid employment, until then I shall keep fighting survive and keep on searching for a job.

    A Day In The Life Of A Mum On Benefits isn’t an easy one it isn’t hand outs and luxuries, its struggles, stress and tears.

    You may find this useful http://mums-advice-old-copy.local/benefits-explained/

     

  • I Am An IVF Baby, Don’t Judge My Mum

    My name is Sophie and I was born in 1996.

    One Evening in March, when I was twelve, my mum and dad sat me down sat.

    Being the kind of kid I was, I thought I was in trouble. They both looked anxious and very serious. In the months prior she had been giving me educational books and little mum and daughter talks about reproduction. Now, in retrospect, I realise it was to prepare me for this very moment.
    I came into the world a different way

    Together my Mum and Dad told me that I wasn’t conceived the way that my sex education teaching was teaching us about. They told me that I was very special. I was an IVF child, and what’s more, I was conceived using a donated embryo. To be honest, I was confused at first, but eventually I felt proud and happy that i must have been very much wanted.

     My mum couldn’t have children due to very early menopause. Doctors never found out why this happened, it wasn’t genetic.

    Her five sisters had never had a problem.
    As for my biological parents, for their privacy, I won’t disclose what led to their need to access IVF. However, after accessing IVF treatments they were blessed with triplets.

    They were left with eight embryos, which they kindly decided to donate. I spent four years as a cluster of frozen genetic material before my parents were granted access to these donated embryos. I was the only embryo to survive and be successfully transferred.

    It wasn’t until I was a grown woman that I realised that some people thought I was a freak of nature or my mother as a lesser being.

    As a student midwife, I often found myself when on placement asking parents of multiples if they were IVF.
    I remember asking one mum who had twins if they were from IVF. Her face filled with a kind of shame or fear and she looked at me like she wished at that exact moment I would disappear. She finally confirmed that they were IVF. I smiled and told her that I was to, she instantly looked relieved and the tension fled her face.

    It was that moment I began to feel upset and even angry at the ridicule people like her and my mum would have experienced.
    I know what it took to get me here, IVF is not an easy process, but these babies are much wanted.

    Being a person of IVF has never made me feel ashamed or somehow lesser than others.

    At times I felt it’s given me strength that I otherwise wouldn’t have.

    I have never doubted that I was very much wanted, I’ve always known I was meant to be here on this earth.

    It shouldn’t matter if a baby is conceived “naturally”, through IVF,insemination or surrogate, every baby is a blessing, do not judge our mums!

     

  • Prove Your Loyalty With Hairy Legs

    A soldiers in the parachute regiment, currently based in Colchester Essex has caused an online debate with his controversial idea to keep his wife faithful and loyal.

    Lisa Watts 27, originally from Swindon took to a Garrison girls Facebook group (a support group for army wives to chat and get advice).
    Lisa posted in the group and said that last year when her husband was away for three months on training he had made her do something to prove that she wasn’t cheating whilst he was away. 

    Her Husband Stephen 29 also from Swindon is due to go away for six months after Christmas. 
    Stephen expects his doting wife and mother to their two young children, Oscar 4 and Autumn 5 months old  to go unshaven whilst he is away.

    This means allowing her armpit, leg and vagina hair to go uncut, trimmed, waxed or shaven.
    When he returns from action he demands to see her body to prove her loyalty.

    The post had over 4000 replies from members the majority of which were against the idea.

    Sandra Daly commented on the post and said “This is control, he’s sick, surely he should trust you, time to file for divorce”.
    There were hundreds of comments similar to this, however some people thought it was a good idea.

    Tanisha Fitzgerald said “I kind of like the idea, it’s like unwrapping a present, plus think of all the money you’ll save on razors etc and at least it is winter, the extra hair will keep you nice and warm”.

    What’s your thoughts, would you go unshaven to prove your loyalty? 

    Let us know your thoughts in the comments

     

     

     

  • This Mums Amazing Tip Is A Game Changer!

    This mums amazing tip is going viral and it’s clear to see why!

    We parents understand the struggle when our babies are ill, it’s horrid to see our children unwell and sometimes they refuse to take their medicine!

    So when Helena Lee shared how she managed to get her little one to keep her medicine down we were so happy!

    Credit: Helena Lee via Facebook

    FOR ALL MUMMIES…
    So for the last 24hours ive struggled to get alfie to take calpol, he has ended up covered in half of it where he spits it at me……

    Then i remembered seeing this trick..

    Not 1 bit got wasted 👌👌 and no tears 👌👌

    please feel free to share with any baby mummies you know xxxxx