Tag: Mum
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Alder Hey Strikes Again Poor Little Kyrah
Little Kyrah is currently at Alder hey hospital the same as the now famous Alfie Evans who is currently fighting for every breath and proving the doctors and courts wrong.
Kyrah’s mum is also fighting her own battle a battle to save her daughter’s life and to have a diagnoses.
Kyrah’s mum posted on her childs support page saying
“Nearly 5 years old and still alder hey TRUST have no plan,
Kyrah has a chronic disease a terminal illness and still no care plan while alder hey trust were busy trying to make me look bad I built my own case on them and now its all falling perfectly in to place they used my daughter’s life to blackmail me while I give them every opportunity possible to work with us they did not want to do that they had their own plan.
I had so much respect for them before they tried everything to tear us apart now I wonder how these people even sleep at night knowing what there doing is wrong on so many levels
#IWONTBESHUSHED #IWontBeStopped #TheTruthWillAlwaysFindAwayOut
Alfie Evans case has put the care and treatment at Alder hey hospital into the lime light, many people are now questioning whether or not the hospital is trying to cover up poor treatment, medical negligence or simply don’t care, we wouod like to hear your views in the comment section.
To follow Kyrah’s journey and fight for the right to live, please take a look at her support page https://www.facebook.com/KeepFightingBabyKyrah/
If you have had a bad or even good experience at Alder hey we would love to hear from you, or if you have a story or want to raise awareness of a different topic please send us an email to mumsadviceltd@outlook.com
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1 In 8 Couples Are Infertile-Don’t Tell Them What To Do
Think about this: 1 in 8 couples are infertile. Chances are, you know someone who is secretly dealing with infertility, it could be a close friend, relative or neighbour.
Think about the simple task of going to the supermarket and walking down the baby aisle and the many emotions this are triggered.
Think about their pain when asked to attend a friend’s baby shower, or scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and seeing so many new mums cradling their precious new-born, or seeing baby scans posted.
Think about the complete devastation of finally getting pregnant and then losing the baby they always prayed for, and then the ignorance of people’s comments “oh you can try again you are only young” many woman who have a miscarriage are met with insensitive but well-meaning comments .
Think about your own children and how much you love them. Think about those women and men who never get a chance to experience the love they long for, who try to adopt but are often unable to or spend their lives savings trying to conceive.
We do not expect mums not to post photos of their scans or new-born baby photos, we do not want supermarkets to hide the baby stuff, this is something that cannot really be avoided, what we can ask that if someone loses a baby no matter the gestation to listen and care and not make the insensitive comments, a lose is a lose no matter how far gone they are, do not give a couple who are infertile tips on how you got pregnant, trust me they have tried everything, only give your opinion if you are asked for it.
1 in 8 are infertile these statistics are so high so chances are you may be faced with one of these conversations, be kind, be compassionate and put yourself in their shoes.
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Dad Pleads For Help After Son Dumped On His Doorstep
I split from my ex 2 years ago. She moved away and we decided that our kids would live with her and I see them weekends.
A year ago our youngest was diagnosed as Autistic. Around that same time, my ex had met someone else. She decided that she didn’t want to look after our youngest anymore as he was too demanding due to his condition and literally dumped him on my doorstep ( she didn’t even discuss it with me, just turned up with his stuff) and said that she needs to get on with her life and cannot look after our son anymore.
My son was very traumatized, he has school refusal and no attempt was made by her to find specialist support for him…
9 months on, my son is still living with me and he is settled, he sees a psychologist to help him, however his mother has not seen him properly since (not even on his birthday) nor pays any maintenance for his upbringing. Her excuse is that he refuses to see her (he is still in junior school ) she also working 4 days and claiming benefits but says she has no money ( even though on Facebook she posts pictures of her in swanky London hotels etc)
I am over the moon that my son now lives with me and I will give him all the support I can
Sometimes he will cry at night and asks for his Mum, I keep on reassuring him that she still loves him. He is so confused and cannot understand why she ignores him yet his sisters are being brought up by her..I have tried to ask her to spend time with him but she refuses, she keeps on saying that she is too busy……..it breaks my heart that she has literally turned her back on him because he was an inconvenience in her life.
……..Any advice on what you would do in my situation? I’m prety desperate for help and advice, I feel broken for my lad😞
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Is This What Child Maintenance Is For?
I am often told by others who never had to struggle to make ends meet, that I should just forget about child maintenance payments, so I can move on and forget my ex.
Yesterday I let my 11 yr old daughter out with friends. I gave her £5 and hoped she would bring back change and not squander it, as it was put by to pay towards her P7 leavers hoodie.
Her friends had much more to spend and went to a cafe. My daughter decided she didn’t have enough and felt guilty if she spent it, so wandered off to see if she could find anyone else to hang around with.
She wandered to the other side of town. She has a mobile but I am unable to top it up. I phoned a few times to check she was ok but she didn’t answer.
Finally I got a hold of her and she was crying and said she was upset as she felt unable to join her friends at the cafe.
I put my shoes on to walk across town to meet her.( no car). As I headed down the road A car stopped and a disgruntled woman let my daughter out her car, muttering how irresponsible parents are to let their children wander off.
My daughter was offered a lift home by a stranger. I’m still shocked how my daughter agreed to get in a stranger’s car.
Once we calmed down, we had a chat why she got in the car. She says she felt so down and lonely as she couldn’t be with her friends in the cafe because I couldn’t afford to give her more money to spend and felt guilty if she spent it, she burst into tears and the woman stopped the car to offer her a lift She felt obliged to get in.
I am lucky the woman was genuine and brought her back. I feel like the worst mum as I can’t provide her enough to top up her phone just now and let her have a normal teen social life.
All because ex won’t pay child support.
Emailed in and asked for anonymous blog post
Is this what child maintenance is for? To help children to live normal lives, or is it just the mums responsibility to work harder to give her treats or both mum and dad?
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To The Mum Hiding In Her Bathroom Needing Peace For Just One Minute
To the mum hiding in her bathroom, needing peace for just one minute, as the tears roll down her cheeks..
To the mum who is so tired she feel likes she can’t function anymore and would do anything to lay down and get the rest she needs…
To the mum sitting in her car, alone, stuffing food in her face because she doesn’t want anyone else to see or know she eats that stuff…
To the mum crying on the couch after she yelled at her kids for something little and is now feeling guilty and like she is unworthy…
To the mum that is trying desperately to put those old jeans on because all she really wants is to look in the mirror and feel good about herself…
To the mum that doesn’t want to leave the house because life is just too much to handle right now…
To the mum that is calling out for pizza again because dinner just didn’t happen the way she wanted it to…
To the mum that feels alone, whether in a room by herself or standing in a crowd…
You are enough.
You are important.
You are worthy.
This is a phase of life for us. This is a really really hard, challenging, crazy phase of life.
In the end it will all be worth it. But for now it’s hard. And it’s hard for so many of us in many different ways. We don’t always talk about it, but it’s hard and it’s not just you.
You are enough.
You are doing your best.
Those little eyes that look up at you – they think you are perfect. They think you are more than enough.
Those little hands that reach out to hold you – they think you are the strongest. They think you can conquer the world.
Those little mouths eating the food you gave them – they think that you are the best because their bellies are full.
Those little hearts that reach out to touch yours – they don’t want anything more. They just want you.
Because you are enough. You are more than enough, mama.
You. Are. Amazing. ❤❤
Credit: Latched and Attached
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How Dare You Complain About Being A Stay At Home Mum
Stay at home mum (SAHM) depression….
The elephant in the room nobody talks about
I mean, how DARE you complain after being gifted this opportunity to stay at home and raise YOUR own kids but it’s not that simple. Of course we SAHM’s are being grateful to stay home and raise our young BUT that it’s literally all we become.
No one talks about the isolation.
No one talks about the loss of identity.
No one talks about the loneliness.
No one talks about losing your sense of self.
No one talks about how you had to give up your career because it’s cheaper for you to stay home.
No one talks about how you cry in the shower because your day was overwhelming.
No one understands why you’re tired.
No one understands why you’re irritable.
No one understands why you need a mental break.
No one understands why you’re so aggravated with your kids.
No one understands why after you’ve been home all day, the house is a wreck still.
No one understands why you just need 5 minutes with no one speaking to or touching you.
No one understands why you’ve lost your sex drive.
No one understands why you’re completely & utterly exhausted, after all, you just sit at home all day
No one understands the feeling you have when you are told you don’t have a “real job”.
Most of us were working women at one point. We got to go to a job and interact with other adults outside our home. We contributed financially to our household. (Shoot, most of us want some kind of side hustle or part time job because it would sure help with financial relief) We didn’t feel like an endless maid. We got that break away (even though yes, work is a love/ hate relationship) that gives you space from the people you live with (children, spouse… Etc) because yes, EVERY relationship needs time away in it to not go crazy being around each other 24/7. That’s not healthy. Contrary to popular belief…
YOU NEED A BREAK DAILY
I can’t tell you how many women I meet or know that say “oh, you have to much time on your hands” “I sure wish I could stay home, I wouldn’t complain” good for you! I can guarantee you will change your mind 6 months in, unless you’re wealthy and have money to constantly go do things. I once was you. I wished upon a star I could stay home with my kids because I wanted to spend all the time I could. I didn’t realize what all came with being a SAHM.
Oh but YOU chose to have those kids. YOU should’ve thought about that before having them. If you didn’t want to go through all this YOU should’ve never had kids. & YOU said you want more????
Seriously…. Yup, heard those all before.
Next time you hear or see a SAHM venting her frustrations, listen and make her feel like she’s somebody. That her struggles are not invalid. You know just because she don’t have a “real job”.
Submitted by Sarah Castleford
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Single Working Mums You Are Badass
A reality so many women face. When you have no choice because financially you can’t stay home and long to so bad. Whether you are planning your family or it happens on a whim… The thoughts race through your head. How will I do this? How am I going to manage? How will I get off work? How will I balance working full-time plus overtime, get home & try to spend time with the kids before bed. Work on homework, start dinner, attempt to clean, make sure the kids have clean clothes for the next day. Baths. Story time. Hugs. Kisses. But what about you? Where’s your time? By the time you get everything settled and done, there is no time because in a few short hours this chaotic schedule will start back over. & Repeat.
No one understands the punch to the gut you get when your maternity leave is up and you have to leave that precious baby.
No one talks about the guilt.
No one talks about the exhaustion.
No one talks about your mental health.
They just see super mum!
“Oh my gosh, I don’t know how you do it” is something you hear often. Or you get the “how could you choose working over your kids”.
They don’t see all those bills piled up on the table, some past due & some are getting there. They don’t know that you’re a single mum trying to be both mum and dad and all you want is to buy your little guy those shoes he wants for getting a gold star at school or a celebration certificate from school.
They don’t know that you’re trying to put yourself through school while juggling working & taking care of your children.
They don’t see you crying in the shower because you missed your kids
First steps
First words
First day of school
sports game and sports day
Awards ceremony
School trip
Dr appointments
See, you’d give anything to be home with your babies. If only that was doable in this day & age.
Your day doesn’t end. You leave one job to start another. One day they will understand. They will know why you worked so hard to keep your family a float. Trust me.
You are one badass mum & you’re rocking it, being mum and dad and sole provider is one touch job!
Submitted by Dawn Friend
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Have You Heard Of Post-Partum Anxiety
I saw a doctor a few months back.
I have a hard time looking people in the eyes, I talk too fast, I think I give myself away. I pretend its okay, but I’m drowning. Has that ever happened to you?
I saw my doctor for Post-Partum Anxiety.
I mourn things in my mind, before they ever even go. It’s crazy, I know, so I try to talk myself out of it and remind myself that we are still alive.
But, most days, I’m scared. To even go to the local supermarket. Everything has a new meaning now- is the person in front of me distracted or drunk? Will today be the last time I see her? Last time I strap her into her car seat?
But the thing is, you never know the last time is the last time, until it’s over.
So, I memorize like a mad woman. The way everything looks giant in her hands or the way her pigtails and teeth are lopsided. Just in case.
It seems unbearable this intense love I have for her, and what would happen if I lost her? Or him? I hear a story of a mother loosing her child, and I get sick. For days. And then I’m all screwed up in my head again.
It’s like a sick joke; going through life so naive, but not knowing it until you know it. You know? Its violating. Not realizing the fragility or pricelessness of a beating heart, until its outside of you.
Like that time I walked through a spider’s web and just kept skipping along. It wasn’t until I was back in the house that I realized I had been carrying the biggest spider I’d ever seen, right there on my shoulder. Something about that’s always stuck How you can think its one way, but really you haven’t got a clue. Like giving birth- nothing could’ve prepared me to know what I was going to know when I watched her take her very first breath.
Once you’ve carried life, you somehow understand its counterpart -death- so very intimately.
Post-Partum Anxiety.
I don’t, I won’t, I can’t think it’s too ugly.
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Mental Illness Affects My Relationships
I suffer from depression and anxiety. My anxiety is usually spurred on by a ‘dark’ mood. Let me start by saying, I don’t have suicidal thoughts, I never have & I hopefully never will. My depression takes me to other places. Simple things like relationships and friendships become so trivial, so complicated.
In my brain it doesn’t sit right, something seems different. I notice little differences that ‘normal’ people wouldn’t notice.
That comment you didn’t tag me in, but you tagged other people? I saw that, why didn’t you tag me? What’s up with me?
You read that message, I saw you did, but you didn’t reply.. why didn’t you reply? Have I done something to upset you?
You didn’t say I love you on the phone.. do you not love me anymore? Do you love someone else instead?
They just made a comment about me. Was it a joke? Was I supposed to laugh? Or do they mean it? Are they being nice? Are they talking about me? Do they talk about me? I bet they hate me.
Am I doing this right? Is this what a mum should do? What if this is wrong. Oh god. What if someone reports me. What if they take my kids. Should I hide? Should I leave. I’m a bad mum. I can’t do this.
Am I good enough? Should I just run away and hide?
And for all those questions I will spend hours trying to answer. Let it all build up in my mind, until it sends me to tears…… it’s mental that isn’t it. That I see things that way. Some call it psycho but what it really is.. is a mental illness.
It’s not only mental changes, but physical changes. I eat a lot, mainly rubbish, because I need it now and I need the energy from lack of sleep. Insomnia, up all night answering questions to situations that don’t even exists.
I know when I start to feel this way or think this way, I need help.
I know that when my behaviour starts to change, I need guidance.
And I understand that I don’t need to be ashamed. I don’t need to be understood. I just need to be accepted. Everyone is fighting a battle and sometimes you need to be kinder.
Don’t suffer in silence.