Tag: Labour

  • When Your Baby Makes An Early Arrival

    This is one of the only photos that I have where I look pregnant.

    This was ten days before our sweet boy decided to join us, fourteen weeks before he was supposed to.

    If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to push harder the first time the doctors ignored my concerns. I would tell myself that everything would be okay, and that I would make it through.

    But nothing, not even the advice that I would give the old me, can prepare you for the NICU. Everyone’s journey here is SO different, there’s absolutely no way that anyone can tell you what to expect.

    When I see the new moms get wheeled up here for the first time, my heart breaks for them. I want to just hug them, and tell them that I know exactly how they feel. Their birth plan had gone out the window, their “perfect labour” didn’t exist. Their brains are still foggy from the medication, and their baby… the only thing on their mind… that sweet baby… is in the best hands.

    I remember the surgeons telling me that I would be out of the OR ten minutes after Jameson left. I laid on the table, arms stretched out, for what felt like years. Come to find out, it ended up being a little over an hour. I sat in recovery until I could move my toes, and I concentrated SO hard, I knew that I had to have had enough muscle memory to move a stinkin’ toe! They let me go early, because I wouldn’t leave them alone about it. They let me see our miracle baby for 25 minutes before I was wheeled back to my room, to wait until I could stand. The nurse walked in a few hours later and asked “do you think you’re ready?” I immediately stood up, and blood went EVERYWHERE. “Woah, you weren’t supposed to stand up yet!” But off to see my boy, I went.

    I understand, Mama. All that is important is that sweet baby. The pain killers, uterus massages, pumping, it can wait.

    When Jameson was just a few weeks old, the doctors had “the talk” with us. If you’re a micro-preemie parent, I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. That heart-sinking moment when medical professionals come to tell you that your child may not make it. The choices that you are forced to make are unimaginable, and they will eat you alive, regardless of what that choice was.

    We have signed consent forms, giving strangers permission to operate on our son. We’ve seen him cry (we haven’t heard him, yet), we’ve watched him get poked, you name it.

    I’ve watched syringes of strangers blood get pumped into our son to keep him alive.

    I’ve seen 10+ nurses running as fast as they can to our baby’s bedside to give his little two-pound body compressions, and stimulate him to keep him responsive while they put a tube back down his throat.

    I slept on pull-out chair for weeks, and ran off of bags of chips and coffee.

    I’ve cried, boy have I cried, and I’ve let my ugly out on a lot of people who didn’t deserve it.

    But, I’ve also had months to celebrate the small things.

    I won’t ever be upset when Jameson pees on me, because that means his urinary system is finally deciding to function properly.

    I’m not mad when I smell like puke, because he’s finally off of TPN fluids.

    I got to kiss my boy at three days old.

    I got to dress him once he was a few months.

    We got to give him his first “big boy bath” at six, and Gigi and Grandpa Greg finally got to hold him at five.

    These are things that are taken for granted, that I will never ever let go unnoticed.

    The point of this post is to tell you this: Although our journey has been long, and it has been filled with a lot of ups and downs, we are not the only ones. Please, please be considerate when you’re talking to moms with special babies. They are miracles, regardless of their needs. I know that sometimes it’s not “normal”, and if you have questions, ask! Please be patient with us and our crazy rules, and our last-minute cancellations. But, please don’t be ugly to us Mama’s who have fought so hard for our babies. They are loved more than you can imagine.🖤

    Full credit goes to Keeghan Haight

  • Pre-term Labour

    Pre term labour, I’d never heard of it before, why would I? In July 2016 I found out I was pregnant, but sadly in August I misscarried.

     My partner and I decided to try straight away and with luck on our side, we conceived in October 16. My 12 week scan was perfect, private gender scan, perfect and our 20 week scan, again perfect! Nothing could prepare us for the horror we where about to face.



    3rd March 17. 22weeks 3days.


    A normal day, got up, went to work, came home, cooked and cleaned. I was about to get a shower when I felt the urge for the toilet, nothing. When I’d wiped, I noticed bright red blood everywhere, it looked like a murder scene. My partner was at work and I was in a state of worry, luckily my mum was downstairs and she rang an ambulance.


     I still had this pressure for the toilet and still, bleeding terribly. We arrived at hospital, on walking upto the ward, I left a trail of blood behind me. I was rushed straight in where I was scanned immideatly, it was an anxious wait. Was my baby alive? Why am I bleeding? What is happening? 




    The lady showed us our babies heartbeat, beating away, nice and strong! What a relief. She turned off the machine and looked at me, and I just knew something was wrong. She said “I’m really sorry but your 5cm dilated and you’ll have to give birth, theirs nothing we can do.” At this point me and my partner where distraught. Our precious baby boy, how could this be. How could I be 5cm with no pains?! They must have it wrong!




    A doctor at the hospital, who was off duty at the time had heard about me, he rushed up to my room and told me he was going to take me to theatre to stitch my cervix to give my boy a chance. He told me it would be a difficult operation and with my waters bulging, he could burst them at anytime whilst operating. The operation was a success.. all so we thought.




    4th March onwards.


    The day after the operation, we where in good spirits, happy that our baby had a chance to survive. But a few days later, my thighs where in so much pain, it felt as if the muscles where ripping apart. I was giving pain relief, but nothing worked. 


    Eventually I was rushed to another hospital who specialise in pre term birth. At this point I knew my baby was going to be born early. 




    23+2 arrived at specialist hospital.


    On arrival I was taking to maternity ward where I was closely monitored and my baby was monitored daily. His heartbeat was perfect. I was giving tablets to stop my labour, even though I wasn’t contracting. 


    A few days later, that dreaded pain was back in my thighs coming every 3 minutes, they checked for tightenings, but nothing was there. 


    Nobody was sure what was happening or why I was in so much pain. I’d had no sleep, I’d had every pain relief imaginable but still, nothing would take the pain away. I got up to use the loo, when all of a sudden, I was dripping with blood again, My heart stopped!




    23+5 delivery suit.


    I was taking to delivery suit where all doctors where waiting for me to check my situation. Once again baby way fine and the stitch seemed to be holding in place. 


    At 24 weeks, the pain was that severe they decided it was time to take the stitch out. They tried by hand but the pain was so bad, I was taking to thearer to have an epidural. The stitch came out and I went back to 5cm, what I was originally. 


    A doctor came in to let me know how theatre went, where I was told the previous hospital had stitched my cervix to my vaginal wall and it was ripping. This is why I was in agonising pain and discomfort. But, I knew getting the stitch had it’s cons and with me being 5cm it was hard for them to see.




    24+1 in the small hours of the morning.


    I asked the midwife to check as I was having a bit of pressure – still no pains. She checked and said I was 7cm dilated, but she was confused why I’d not contracted. An hour later I told her the pressure was more server so she checked, and said I was 8-9cm and in rushed a full army of doctors, nurses, nicu doctors. 




    I was told I was 10cm and it’s time to push, I told them I didn’t need to push, I just felt pressure. They burst my waters, which caused my baby to turn and became breech. I listened and I pushed only for my baby’s cord to drop out, which of cause isn’t good. 


    They kept telling me to push and push and I was but my son wouldn’t come. I was rushed to theatre for an emergency section, I was put to sleep as the pain was agonising as a doctor had his arm up me trying to keep the cord up. When I came around, I was told the horrible news that my son didn’t make it. He died that day. The section didn’t go ahead, as his heart had stopped on my way to theater.




    I decided I didn’t want my son to be sent away for a postmortom, I knew none of this was down to him. My placenter was sent away to be checked to find out why my body done what it did.




    In hospital I got to spend time with my son thanks to the bereavement suit who looked after us incredibly. My results where ready, and it turned out that I had a weak cervix, which is why I had no pain and a lot of bleeding as the pressure of my son caused it to dilate quickly. I was told I had a blood clot on my placenter which also, could be a reason I dilated. 


    Myself and my son had an infection, but this was likely to me dialating so far. I was also told on delivery I wasn’t 10cm I was only 7cm. As I was pushing my breach baby, his head became trapped behind my cervix which cause him to starve of oxygen due to my cord dropping. 




    I go over it every day in my head and if I can help 1 person to not go through what I did, then that makes me happy. Their was no signs to look out for, it just all happened to quickly, too early and unexpectadly. But, If you feel something isn’t right, or a change in anything please go and be seen. I’d had a kidney infection prior to this, maybe that could of been the cause, who knows. I’m not suing the hospital, they where at fault on more that 1 occasion and have admitted partial blame for my son not being here today. The nhs is on its knees as it is and no amount of money will bring back my son.




    Thankyou for reading my story, I’m currently pregnant with my rainbow baby, and being closely monitored to make sure if my cervix started to funnel, a stitch would be inserted early.




  • Midwives Will Be Talking About This For Months 

    “Your external world is a direct reflection of your inner world. You create with your thoughts, beliefs and emotions!
    Knowing this and being conscious of this, is so POWERFUL.
    What thoughts are you thinking? If you think that thought often enough it will become a belief which will make itself so comfortable deep in your subconscious, you won’t even know it’s there! 

    That belief will get you to make choices and decisions to prove that, that belief is true! Then when you experience something which proves the belief is true you will say things like ‘See it IS true!’
    Throughout my pregnancy with Ashani, many people told me horror stories of labour! ‘It’s SOOOOO painful’ ‘Your downstairs will never be the same again!’ ‘It’s pain like you have never felt before!’
    Every time someone told me what ‘they’ believed or experienced, I silently said to myself ‘I choose NOT to believe that will happen to me, I will have the most amazing labour that midwives will be talking about it for months and months and it will be the best experience I have EVER had!’ Every time someone shared their horrific experiences and their perception of it, I had the opportunity to reinforce my positive belief.
    I had 9 months of reinforcing my belief and imagining my amazing labour experience. My powerful self-belief drove me to my powerful choices and decisions which led to 13 hours of the most peaceful beautiful labor! It was even better than I had imagined or believed it would be.
    Did the midwives talk about this incredible labour for months after? Absolutely! My sister Nina Vyas was delivering her baby 5 months later and the midwife was talking about my labour!


    What thoughts are you thinking? Good ones or bad ones? If you’re not sure, take a peek at your current reality and check in with yourself. Do you feel good? or do you feel bad?
    By Nicky Mehta, Life Coach, Speaker, Author
    If this blog resonates with you, come join us at the S.M.A.R.T Mum Café for more. Click this link and I will personally welcome you to the family https://www.facebook.com/groups/smartmumcafe/?ref=br_rs

     
     
     

     

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  • Hospital Bag Check List

    So you’re having a baby!

    Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS!

    Secondly, need help with what you should be packing in your hospital bag?

    Well fear not because here at mums advice we have made a handy check list with all the most important things!

    Have we missed anything out?

    What did you find most useful in your hospital bag?

    Let us know in the comments!