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i actually find this show a bit funny ššš» #house #housemd #memes #shitpost #voiceover
ā¬ hoopdreams by glizzyfr – xipho
@zrst4_voiceovers i actually find this show a bit funny ššš» #house #housemd #memes #shitpost #voiceover
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Tiktok by š”ššš4 š¬š§āļø
Why I banned peppa pig from my house
Peppa pig aka rude little brat is banned from my house and for good reason.
Now Iām not against my children Amelia 4 and Caleb 2 watching television at all, in fact sometimes itās the only peace and quiet I get.
Now Iām sure every parent has seen Peppa pig but if not Iāll explain it.
Peppa lives in a large house with mummy pig daddy pig and her little brother George (who is the only bloody character whose name doesnāt rhyme) George carries a dinosaur around with him.
Every episode is just as wrong and annoying as the last.
Peppa has hardly any manners, is never disciplined, is rude to her friends even hangs up the phone on them when they can do something she canāt erm how bloody rude..
Peppa speaks for her brother and bosses him around this is probably why he is such a cry baby and constantly gets his own way, great life lesson cry and scream and get what you want.
Peppas parents give into their children and clearly the pigs are not supervised properly.
Peppa is a spoilt brat we all know that but that is not the only reason Iāve banned Peppa from my house.
The program is bloody annoying āa bing bongā song is one of the reasons that I canāt stand this awful show.
My daughter became obsessed with bloody puddles and stopped saying spaghetti we now have peegetti, arghhh chop her up and turn her into bacon.
My heart aches for poor Miss.Rabbit who has at least 10 jobs, there is a bloody potato, yes a potato, yet they eat chips, a hamster vet who treats other creatures.
What the actual hell are the producers on? Acid?
This show makes my brain hurt and my ears bleed, if Peppa was real Iād make her road kill.
We are now loyal fans of a child who is allowed to roam the jungle unattended with a creepy talking monkey called Boots and a bunch of puppies on a mission. Fml roll on the teen years.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I died today. You got tired of me and took me to the shelter. They were overcrowded and I drew an unlucky number. I am in a black plastic bag in a landfill now. Some other puppy will get the barely used leash you left. My collar was dirty and too small, but the lady took it off before she sent me to the Rainbow Bridge .
Would I still be at home if I hadn’t chewed your shoe? I didn’t know what it was, but it was leather, and it was on the floor. I was just playing. You forgot to get puppy toys.
Would I still be at home if I had been housebroken? Rubbing my nose in what I did only made me ashamed that I had to go at all. There are books and obedience teachers that would have taught you how to teach me to go to the door.
Would I still be at home if I hadn’t brought fleas into the house? Without anti-flea medicine, I couldn’t get them off of me after you left me in the yard for days.
Would I still be at home if I hadn’t barked? I was only saying, “I’m scared, I’m lonely, I’m here, I’m here! I want to be your best friend.”
Would I still be at home if I had made you happy? Hitting me didn’t make me learn how.
Would I still be at home if you had taken the time to care for me and to teach manners to me? You didn’t pay attention to me after the first week or so, but I spent all my time waiting for you to love me.
I died today.
Love, Your Puppy
Credit https://www.facebook.com/marusskaya
“This was my hallway last Wednesday.
Broken. Sharp. Treacherous.
This was my hallway.
It was my son who did this.
Sometimes, often really, things break – irreparably. And it takes your breath away … straight away.
It took my breath away when my son stormed into the bathroom, frustrated, angry, fed-up for his very own, very significant to him, reasons. And when he chose to SLAM the bathroom door, causing the heavy mirror mounted to the front to slip out of the hardware holding it in place and crash onto the floor – a million, BROKEN pieces were left reflecting the afternoon light.
I was quiet. I surveyed the damage and took a deep breath. Put the dog outside so he wouldn’t cut his feet, put the cat in the basement for the same reason.
I walked into the backyard and felt the hot tears streaming down my face. It’s amazing how alone you can feel as a single parent in moments like these. I realized how scared and disappointed I felt. Did this really just happen? Yes. This was real.
And as I stood and considered whether or not this was an indication of his developing character, I heard his tears through the window above me, coming from inside the bathroom.
His soul hurt. This was not what he expected either. Hello, Anger – I don’t remember inviting you into my house.
Scary.
Terrified.
Ashamed.
Worried.
Scared.
Deep breath, #MamaWarrior. Deep breath. That small, fragile soul needs you right now. He needs your very best. Your biggest compassion. Your most gentle and firm mama love and reassurance. More deep breaths. Go Mama.
Go. Go now. Go open the front door, tiptoe through the broken glass, hear him hearing you coming, watch the bathroom door crack open, see the face you love most in the world red with worry and wet with tears, his voice is suddenly so small: “Mama, I’ll never do it again, I am SO sorry.” More tears. More weeping. Such uncertainty on his sweet face.
Go Mama. Get him. Go now. Scoop him into your lap. Yup, you’re crying too. Damn this was big. Hold him tight. Watch how he curls into a ball in your arms so quickly. See how eager he is to be loved by you. To be reassured by you. See how small he still is. See how fragile that spirit is.
I love you.
You are safe.
I am right here.
The worst part is over now.
I’ve got you.
I’m here.
I love you.
Go Mama. Tell him about Anger. Tell him now. Anger is a really powerful feeling. You have a right to your Anger. Anger burns hot. It can purify. It can also destroy. He nods. He feels it. He’s met Anger now.
There’s a better way to show your big feelings.
We’ll work on it together …. tomorrow.
I’m here to help you.
You are safe.
You are never alone in your anger.
You are never alone in your fears.
I’m here. We’re here together.
Now we will clean together.
And we cleaned up the broken pieces. We swept and we vacuumed. It was quiet work. It was careful work. It was thoughtful work.
Sometimes things break. Sometimes we break them. It’s not the breaking that matters, the how or why. What matters is how we choose to respond to the broken-ness. Does it kill us? Does it throw us into a downward spiral of blame and punishment?
OR
Does it help us remember how to love deepest? Does it push us towards compassion and over the hurdle of “rightness” and “wrongness” into LOVENESS?
Yes. LOVENESS.
Go Mama. Go now. Get that baby of yours. Teach that. Show that. Live that. It’s called LOVENESS. Go. Now.”
Submitted by Kathleen Fleming & Majestic Unicorn
This is what friendship looks likešš¼
I am currently walking through the hardest season of my life, and as Mamaās we feel like weāve always gotta put on our big girl pants and just muscle through. Never let āem see you sweat, right? Oh girl…if thereās one thing this season has taught me, itās that that sort of lie is terribly dangerous to believe.
I needed my people today. I thought I just needed to call them up and cry about what was happening, and then while on the phone, my sweet friend asked me such an important question. She asked me to just say what I needed and wanted most.
I told her that I didnāt want to be alone.
Her response :: āIām on my way.ā
I started in with all of the reasons she couldnāt and shouldnāt come… āMy house is a disaster.ā āI donāt want to burden you.ā āItās such a long drive.ā
Her response :: āSister, I donāt care about any of that. You said you donāt want to be alone, so Iām coming.ā
Not only did she make the trek from Greeley to Fort Collins, but she picked up another sweet friend along the way. They picked up lunch, they walked into my house, gave me the biggest hugs, and asked āWhat can we do?ā
My disaster of a house? They helped me clean it, and assured me it wasnāt that bad. They let me cry, they made me laugh, we listened to music, and most importantly…
I. Wasnāt. Alone. š
Mama, if youāre going through a rough season…know that you donāt have to do it by yourself. You donāt even have to know what you need ā just start by asking to not be alone.
I know there is someone in your life who will say to you āIām on my way,ā if only youād ask.
And Mama if you have a friend who you know is going through it, just offer to come and be there with her. Actually donāt offer…just tell her youāre coming.
Because I guarantee she wants that more than anything, and sheās having a hard time being able to say it.
Praying for all of you walking the tough roads right now…whatever that may look like for you, know that youāre not walking it alone! We love you, Mama! š
Credit https://www.facebook.com/nocomomsblog/
IS THIS RIGHT.??MY DAD BEING FORCED TO SELL HIS HOME … This is me and my 92 year old Dad yesterday. Heās fit and takes only an inhaler but does have vascular Dementia. Dad was active in World War 2 , he canāt remember.
He educated himself at University to escape the Pit work his family had all done , he canāt remember.
Worked his entire life and educated me and my siblings , he canāt remember. Wrote beautiful poetry and stories , he canāt remember.
Married to mum for 61 years , he canāt remember.
NOW HE HAS TO PAY FOR HIS CARE BY SELLING HIS BEAUTIFUL HOUSE ..ššand I thank god he canāt remember. šš
We donāt begrudge paying nearly A THOUSAND POUNDS A WEEK , yes a week … but he sits beside people who pay NOTHING. He is being penalised for securing his future and NEVER EVER taking state money.
When the money has gone to the state from the sale of his house he will stay in his residential home and be paid for. He will die a poor man , a man with nothing to leave to his grandchildren… ZERO , ZILCH… A PAUPER ..
I feel useless for not being able to care for him and feel broken hearted for him that his house is to be sold.. An overhaul of our Elderly populationās care is long overdue. To the fat cats that this scenario doesnāt affect , to the owners of care homes who charge extortionate fees , to the Government who are so self obsessed and power crazy …. I pity you all…. And to us ordinary mortals … itās about time we uprose and got this in order. please like and share but no comments. I just want this to get to someone who might give a monkeys…. šµšš
Credit https://www.facebook.com/sarah.robinson.7796420
Iām a parent. My husbandās a parent. Our kids are kids.
If you come to our house with your children, I donāt want to hear you apologise for any of the following:
1. Noise/screaming/shouting/crying. If your kids can out-noise my kids, I owe you wine – and a whole lot of respect.
2. Messy toys. I might have a small breakdown after you leave because MESS but please, my boys have a degree in mess. And once you have one kid making mess, you might as well be sat in a primary school classroom during free-play time.
3. Needing to breastfeed. I mean…literally, what? Feed that baby wherever, whenever. Make yourself at home. Kick your shoes off. Donāt go to the toilet to do it. Lay on our bed, on the sofa, in the spare room – just wherever that baby is chilled. And PUR-LEASE donāt excuse yourself because of my kids or husband. Weāve done two lots of breastfeeding as a family and boobs donāt offend us. If you want privacy then obvs, cool. Otherwise – go ahead, babe.
4. Your kids saying theyāre hungry or asking me for something to eat. Kids have no fear, filter or preconceived idea of what is acceptable to society (or what we think is polite). If Iām feeding my kids, Iāll be feeding your kids. If itās in the cupboard, they can have it. If they want it and you say theyāre allowed it, itās theirs. If you pay attention, youāll notice my kids will have asked for food once every 0.04 seconds the entire time youāve been here.
5. Your child not finishing food Iāve given them. My kids donāt even finish the food Iāve given them and Iām used to cooking seven course taster menus because my boys canāt decide what they want to eat. Just chuck the leftovers. Unless itās chicken nuggets, then Iāll have them.
6. Food mess. I wonāt lie, this one stings me a little but only because Iāve got leftover food phobia. But please, no apologies for this one. I found a bogey on my wall today so your childās broken biscuit on the floor is light work.
7. Your kids being brats. ALL KIDS ARE BRATS AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER. Not one single exception. Iām not judging you based on your child having a breakdown because Iāve already negotiated with my own two tiny terrorists eighteen times before youāve arrived and I actually find a lot of comfort knowing that you have to deal with this crap, too. Misery loves company, babe.
8. Your kids needing a nap. Weāve got sofas, beds, cushions, beanbags, chairs and a whooooole lotta floor. Donāt up and leave because your kids want a nap (unless youāre sick of my kids and canāt wait to find an excuse to leave). Plonk your child down anywhere, throw a blanket on them and go back to your coffee. Weāre napping experts in this house.
9. Your kids not wanting to hug/kiss/talk to me. We are working on consent at every. darn. opportunity in this house. If your little babe doesnāt wanna show me affection, please donāt force it or apologise. Iāve been rejected by worse than a five year old and Iāve already kissed a few snotty faces today so keeping my bodily fluid transfer rate down will probably do me some good.
10. Nappies. Changing. Poo. Wee accidents. Anything to do with natural bodily functions. After two kids I can barely control my own bladder so Iāll be damned if Iām judging a two year old on their ability to do so. Weāre a family house. We donāt have a nappy bin, we have a bin, bin. We have nappies, wipes, spare pants and a lot of cleaning products. Whatever the disaster, we will cope.
If youāre invited to our house, youāre invited with your children. And your children come with mess and spillages and accidents and unfiltered mouths…
…just like ours do.ā¤ļø
Credit https://www.facebook.com/ThePrimeMumister/
Society to working moms:
-Go back to work 6-8 weeks after having the baby. The baby that you spent 9-10 months growing inside of your body. Go back to work before you have finished healing or have had time to bond with your baby. Keep your mind on work, and not your tiny helpless baby that is being watched and cared for by someone other than you. Make sure to break the glass ceiling and excel at your job- you can do anything a man can do! It is your job to show society this! Show the world that women can do it all. Rise to the top of your career.
-Also breastfeed for at least a year. So take 2-3 pumping breaks a day at work, but don’t let it throw you off your game or let you lose your focus.
-Also, lose that baby weight and get back in shape, as quickly and as gracefully as possible. Make sure to get 8 hours of sleep a night so you can work out, work, and care for your family. But also get up at 5 am to workout, unless you want to do it after your kids go to bed when you also need to clean the house and get life ready for the next day and you know, sleep.
-Maintain a clean, pinterest worthy house. Take the Christmas lights down. Recycle. Be Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the birthday planner, the poop doula (seriously when will this end), the finder of lost things, the moderator of fights. Be fun. Be firm. Read books. Have dance parties.
-Maintain the schedule for the entire family. Birthday parties coming up? Make sure to have presents! Ensure the kids are learning to swim, play an instrument, read, ride a bike, be a good human being, eat vegetables, wear sunscreen, drink enough water, say please and thank you. Don’t forget they need to dress as their favorite book character on Monday, and wear something yellow on Thursday. Oh it’s totally your call but most parents come in on their birthday and read to the entire class. In case nobody told you, if you have more than one kid you will need to buy new shoes approximately every other day. See also: winter coats, shorts, pants that aren’t 4 inches too short. There will never be matching socks or gloves for any member of the family, ever again.
-Remember the dog you got before you had kids? Shes getting old now and needs expensive surgery. She also need walking, a new bed, and she smells pretty bad.
-Hey! Kids need lots of doctor appointments. Monthly as babies. Every time they are sick. Specialist appointments, especially if any of them have extra needs. At least two school conferences a year. IEP meetings, if applicable. Parents night. Back to school night. Get to know your school night (what IS this). Most parents are volunteering at least once during the year, would you like to come make a craft with the kids? It will only be an hour or two of your time.
-Sorry, you are now out of vacation time because you used it all for time taking your kids to appointments or when your childcare is unavailable. You should go on vacations though. It’s good to relax and unwind from work. Makes you a better employee.
-Don’t forget the kids need healthy meals (and so do you! you are trying to lose that last 20 lbs before swim season right). That requires meal planning, grocery shopping, and meal prep on the weekend. But also hang out with your kids on the weekend since during the week you only get to hang out with them when they are exhausted and angry that you made the wrong kind of spaghetti for dinner.
-Date your spouse! It’s important to keep your relationship alive and fresh. Try to go out 1-2 times a month. Good, kid free time. Hire a babysitter, they charge 22+ dollars an hour in your area so make sure to take out an extra mortgage and/or work another job to be able to afford this.
-Oh hey you should have a hobby too. It’s important to have “you time”. Also be well read, keep up with the latest pop culture and tv shows, and keep an eye on politics and be able to discuss at least one of the above on the small chance you are out in public and encounter another adult necessitating small talk.
-Make sure to have friends. Social time is SO important. Surely there is an hour or two left in the week after all of the working, appointments, exercising, cooking, scheduling, cleaning, imparting lifelong morals and learning on the kids, the usual. Maybe go out after the kids are down for a glass of wine and a bite to eat. Make it a healthy bite though. And you may regret that wine at your 530 am spin class.
-Self care though. SO important. See also: getting in shape. See the general doctor, the dentist (TWICE), the lady doctor. Prob need to get your eyes checked. Full body skin checks 2+ times a year (just me? okay well). Mental health too. Postpartum anxiety? But you look fine and your kids are so cute. Everyone should have a therapist. Good luck finding one that takes your insurance and has hours outside of your normal working time (out of vacation time, remember?). That leaves evening time when you want to hang out with your kids. But it’s important, so make time for it.
-Don’t wear yoga pants and a mom bun or society is going to mock you in numerous witty blog posts. Never mind that nothing fits. Going to have to get up even earlier so you have time to style your hair, wing your eye liner and search for a pair of pants that fits your new post baby (or multiple baby) shape.
-Get off your phone, turn off the TV, and enjoy your life. Enjoy your kids. THESE ARE THE GOOD TIMES make sure to love every minute of life because before you know it all of this will be in the past.
I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to lean OUT. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
Full Credit Sarah Buckley Friedberg
When my head plays up with dark depressing thoughtsĀ myĀ house is a mess, thereās clothes & rubbish everywhere, the sheets go unchanged for weeks and the floor doesnāt exist,the children will be fed and bathed but chaos will be all around.
Once I find the motivation to be happy myĀ house gets scrubbed, all my clothes even the unworn ones get washed, ironed and put away, my walls get scrubbed so thereās not one mark, my floor is swept, vacuumed and mopped, the sheets get changed finally and bed gets made, my makeup and shoes get organised and cleaned, candles get placed and lit to give off an amazing scent of aloe.. my hair and teeth are unbrushed and my legs unshaven, my cloths are loose and unmatched, my shoes are dirty.. once I feel the weight of my memories lift I shower, finally.
Relieved as the water covers me, my body Is hairless and exfoliated, my hair is treated and soft, my teeth are brushed and whitened and my skin is clear, you can see the glow and My energy is on a whole new level… some of you wouldnāt understand how much your house and appearance reflects your feelings so when you see me looking raggedy, myĀ homes aĀ mess and my hair is knotted itās not because Iām ālazyā itās because Iām stuck in my head and the lights simply wonāt turn on.
