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Tag: hospital

  • Please Teach Your Kids That Others Are Different

    To all who parent;

    Please teach your kids that some children are a little “different” and people are not always as “cool” or as “social” as them. To have more understanding and tolerance of those who are a bit quirky or sometimes say things that aren’t always appropriate.

    Heck, to just be kind to your fellow human beings!

    The last few months has been absolute hell-listening to your 12 year old son in absolute desperation telling you how he wants to kill himself and can’t take it anymore. Getting physically beaten up at the bus stop and telling you “I thought if I just laid there and took it he would get bored and stop”.

    To another boy emotionally and psychologically torturing him on a daily basis (slamming him into a wall and breaking his glasses) and for me to reach out to his mother and get blatantly ignored and then “blocked” off FB as she clearly doesn’t want to deal with the situation!

    This journey has not only seen him up in hospital 3 times for mental health assessment for suicidal thoughts but has also caused him to develop an eating disorder now but also caused turmoil for myself, my family and our family friends.

    All because he has Aspergers and is different.

    By Emma young

  • We Must Keep The Cancer Away From Little Mikey

    Mikey is a playful and loving little toddler, who likes nothing more than to spend hours playing with his toy farm animals while singing Old Macdonald Had a Farm.” He loves cuddling up to watch Peppa Pig and playing with his baby brother, Bobby.

    But in December 2017 when Mikey was just 20 months old and enjoying the build-up to Christmas, his parents noticed a lump in his tummy. After a trip to A&E, the doctors diagnosed his condition as stage 4 high-risk neuroblastoma, with further tests revealing that the tumour had grown from above his right kidney to across almost his entire abdomen. It had heavily infiltrated his bone marrow.

    Mikey was started on a gruelling induction chemotherapy schedule on Christmas Eve, receiving eight cycles of treatment every ten days. He responded well to the initial treatment and Mikey has since gone on to battle his way through a complex eight and a half hour surgery to remove the remainder of the tumour.

    That was followed by high dose chemotherapy with stem cell transplant and radiotherapy, and he is due to start immunotherapy treatment. Throughout his eight months of treatment, he has had to endure numerous blood transfusions, general anaesthetics, nose tube insertions, injections and antibiotics to fight infections. Amazingly he has remained in high spirits and has helped to carry his family through it with his endless humour and cheeky personality.

    He has even taken great pleasure in running down the hospital corridors giggling while attached to medication wires, knowing that his parents would need to chase after him with his medical drip stand!

    Mikey’s mum, Caroline, says: I will never forget when the news was broken to us. I was heavily pregnant at the time and we were all looking forward to Mikeys first proper Christmas and to introducing him to a little baby brother. We couldnt have dreamt in our worst nightmares when we walked into A&E that it would be another month and a half before we would walk out of a hospital again.”

    “That said, it has never ceased to amaze me how resilient he has been throughout and the strength of his character has shone brightly throughout.

    While Mikey has so far responded well to his treatment, immunotherapy spells the end of his frontline treatment available on the NHS, and his battle is far from over. Almost 50% of children with high-risk neuroblastoma relapse and when it does come back less than 1 in 10 survive.

    So Mikey and his family are fundraising in case they need to access treatment or clinical trials not available through the NHS, to give him the best chance of the cancer-free future he deserves.

    “We are hugely grateful for your support,” continues Caroline. “Your donations could help Mikey receive the best treatment available to him. We must keep the cancer away.”

    https://www.justgiving.com/campaign/mikeyharney

  • Pregnant Mamas Please If In Doubt Get Checked Out

    So I’ve decided I wanted to share publicly what happened with my delivery in hopes that it can help someone else one day.

    So the day I turned 38 weeks was obviously just a normal day, I got up and went to work like usual. Pretty early that morning I had already noticed Maddy wasn’t kicking around very much but had assumed she was having a less active day (which happened regularly). By noon, I felt her adjust her position which brought to my attention that she still hadn’t kicked, but at least I had felt some kind of movement.

    So the day goes on and I still hadn’t thought much of it until 7pm. Dalton put his hand on my belly and asked if she had been kicking. I became uneasy as I realized she still hadn’t moved all day. So I took a bath, drank cold orange juice, Dalton poked at my belly, and we even listened to her heartbeat with our fetal Doppler (which there was a heartbeat) but still no movement. We became a little panicked but since I had felt her adjust positions and heard her heartbeat, I knew she was at least alive so I didn’t know what to do. I texted my mother asking if it was normal because online did not help (duh Ayla, its internet..). half of everything I read said go in immediately, and the other half said that babies run out of room to kick.

    My Mom was very persistent and insisted I go in or at least call my midwife. So I called my midwife, left a voicemail, and eventually got a call back saying there would be a room waiting for me in the labor center. Upon arriving I was hooked up to monitors so they could track babies movement. Once again I was given orange juice, ice, rolled this way, rolled that way, adjusted… literally at one point they had my bed set up to where my belly and legs were flat and my upper body was tilted upside down slightly!!

    After about 30-40 minutes I was informed that my midwife was on her way. (which my mother knew was a bad sign and got everyone to the hospital, thankfully). Upon my midwife arrival, she wasted no time to inform me that things were not looking the way they wanted and I was most likely going to have an emergency cesarean that night. I was shaking uncontrollably but was kind of in too much shock to really have emotions about it. We were informed that if there was life threatening problems with Maddy, which they believed to be a pretty high chance, she would be life flighted over to Randall’s.

    So I was stalled out while my midwife waited for all the on-calls to arrive and then was immediately rushed into the operating room. I was given my spinal and before they could even get Dalton in the room they began the delivery. She came out fine and cried a little bit, but she needed oxygen. After about 40 more minutes, Maddy and I were released back to our original room. There I was informed that my placenta had aged prematurely, was calcified, and had basically given up. (I was also told they don’t know why this happens and there’s nothing I could’ve done to prevent it). This had caused Maddy to not be receiving as much oxygen or food as she needed. This was causing her to try to preserve her energy, which is why she had stopped moving. This also caused her to have low blood sugar upon arrival so she needed to be hooked up to a glucose drip IV her first few days.

    My mother asked what would have happened had I not gone in when I did. “She wouldn’t be here” was the reply. She wouldn’t have made it the rest of the night…

    So the point in me sharing this is to let anyone else know that things like this DO happen. You know your body and what’s normal for your baby. And BABIES DON’T RUN OUT OF ROOM!! that was the common response I kept seeing. Babies will always kick whether there’s much room or not. IF YOU HAVE DOUBTS, GO IN. GO IN. GO IN. GO IN!!! Always be safe rather than sorry. Because I almost didn’t. I almost waited till morning to see if anything changed. And had I done that, I wouldn’t have my love. I’ve heard so many stories of stillbirths because signs may not have been taken as seriously as they should’ve been.

    Sorry it was such a long read, but I know many people have no clue what happened. So part of this was to let those people know who have been curious but were to kind to ask. But mostly I wanted to let anyone expecting, or planning to have a baby to be aware of activity and that a halt in activity is very much NOT normal.

    Thanks for reading ❤️ Ayla Heller

  • Barnsley Hospital Killed My Baby

    💕PLEASE KEEP SHARING💕

    for everyone who doesn’t know the story about Oscar this is how shit Barnsley Hospital are!

    Oscar was a healthy baby up until aprox 27 weeks. I was in and out of hospital for numerous reasons including: bleeding, intense pains, plug loss, waters leaking and reduced movements. I was in hospital EVERY day for them to do nothing, apart from send me home and tell me to take paracetamol. They didn’t once keep me in or do a thorough check to make sure me and my baby were okay, despite being asked if they could induce me after being in hospital in excess of 10 times in 7 days, phoning the labour suite and been told to stay at home and take paracetamol as they wasn’t bothered.

    They refused to induce me 3 times at 37 weeks as “it could kill Oscar” And as a result to them not listening they killed him themselves..

    The day before Oscar died (28/7/2018), I attended Barnsley hospital as my waters were leaking and I was in agony and yet I was again sent home.

    I thought it was another case of reduced movements but unfortunately it wasnt…

    so on the 30th July I had to go through the most traumatic event and birth my little boy, knowing there was going to be no joy at the end of it. I was offered no help at all in terms of after care, mental health, or even what to do next regarding the funeral we were then faced with organising, they sent me home 6 hour later with a little memory box with a few items and that was that no help, no nothing. And wrote in my green notes “I WANTED TO LEAVE”

    A few days after Oscars birth, we visited the funeral home and his belongings were missing! They tried to give his/our personal items to my friend who sadly lost her baby 2 days before.

    When I left the hospital less than 24hours after having Oscar, the hospital told me my placenta results would be 7 days. 22 weeks later and I’ve only just received them in the rudest meeting I’ve ever had. The hospital staff came across as hostile and uninterested and didn’t answer any of the questions I had, and only just offered me help then.

    So.. after weeks upon weeks of phoning the hospital chasing up my results and been told to stop phoning and “you’ll get a phone call back” and never did.

    My placenta results came back and they was a slight chance my placenta was dying inside of me. The hospital said I was having scans every 2 weeks. Even though I was given 4 scans throughout the whole pregnancy and one of them was a private scan we paid for. And they had lost TWO days worth of green notes from me going into the hospital what they didn’t care about.

    I am currently in communication with my solicitor to try to get some form of justice for the blatant medical negligence I received from Barnsley Hospital and staff during pregnancy, labour and postnatal care. Unfortunately nothing will bring my little boy back, but I will try my hardest to get justice for him, myself and for any woman who has been or is currently being neglected by their lack of care and consideration.

    YOU KNOW YOUR BODY YOU KNOW YOUR BABY💔

    Brooklyn Smith

  • I Am So Angry With Alderhey Hospital

    Trying to distract myself from thoughts of what could have been if I trusted what alderhey said is hard, I am just constantly thinking the worst now. I am paranoid, my chest keeps tightening with anxiety an it’s causing mental distress thinking that ‘what if’ and stress that feels like it’s pulling me apart limb from limb.

    My 2 and a half week old baby got discharged from alderhey after 7 days in hospital and 5 of them were spent on the critical care unit and we were allowed home because they felt she could breath fine by herself and then just a day later I was back there because everything they told me to look out for and to bring her straight back if happens started to happen again, yet when I get there she goes into triage and they were great but the nurse and doctor on the EDU at the time looked at me like I didn’t have a clue.

    My daughter who couldn’t breath was discharged with the excuse “she’s getting over fed” which is what they constantly say or “it’s viral” and also told me they aren’t going to do anything because “there’s loads more sicker kids then her”!

    I got told by my gp to take her down because she was showing signs of sepsis and all alderhey had to say to me was “she doesn’t look septic” well I am glad I went to whiston hospital because if I never I don’t know where I’d be now her oxygen levels where dropping to 86 god know how low they would have went if I didn’t go get a second opinion and I have been treated amazingly!. My baby is now getting treated for sepsis aswell as what she had in alderhey bronchiolitis and was let home with  I’m glad I’m finally getting somewhere!!!

    We have found the problem with my little girl!! They have found a hole in her heart and she has a leaking heart valve an it would never have been found if she wasn’t getting treated properly in whiston, how could alderhey miss that I’m so angry it’s breaking my heart my baby being so sick 😔

    Katie Rooney

  • Teach Your Children To Look After Others

    You know when you were younger and you did something real stupid because your mates told you to? And then your mum would say ‘if your mates told you to jump off a cliff would you do it? Obviously you got her point and knew you wouldn’t do anything too silly because you understood the difference between silly… and silly silly!

    Well this is my son Jacob. He is 16 and autistic. He doesn’t understand the difference between silly silly. If someone tells Jacob to do something and he thinks they will like him because of this, then Jacob does it. No matter how dangerous.

    A group of Jacobs ‘friends’ told Jacob to go and pick up a deodorant can that had been chucked into a fire. Jacob did it. He didn’t understand what would happen and everyone thought it was funny.

    The can blew up in my sons face. His head caught on fire. They all laughed. NOBODY called an ambulance. Nobody called me. NOBODY walked him home. Nobody tried to put out the fire on his head. He ran into Tesco’s holding his blistering face and ran his head under the hot tap because he didn’t know which one to use because he couldn’t see.

    NOBODY asked him if he was okay. NOBODY stopped him and asked him if he needed help. Jacob then walked home. I heard the screams as he walked up to the house.

    Teach Your Children To Look After Others
    Teach Your Children To Look After Others

    Jacob was rushed to RVI (Royal Victoria Infirmary) burns unit last night. Luckily he only has 1st degree burns to his face. His hair is singed and he has black eyes from the impact. He also has a bruise and cut to his thigh where the can hit him so hard it cut open his leg. If that had hit him in the face my son could be blind.

    I am writing this to ask you to not only remind your children of their own safety but also be considerate of those more vulnerable than themselves. Jacob got off lightly. He had a lucky escape. So did the people who encouraged him to do something so obviously silly when it is dangerous. Because if he had not been so lucky this might have had a permanent impact on everyone involved.

    Be kind. Don’t just be kind to yourself but be kind to people who need you to be kind to them. And teach your children to look after the kids that need looking after and are a bit ‘different’

    It’s an important lesson. One that we could all do with remembering.

    Please share this to raise awareness of the dangers of playing with fire and also those people in a less fortunate position than yourselves.

    Thanks to everyone that helped with Jacob last night.

    Kerry Louise

  • Don’t Let Anyone Kiss Your Baby On The Lips

    Oliver Jaz Miller was born 3rd of August 2018. when he was 11 days old, he slowly stopped drinking milk throughout the night and started up with a temperature.

    When he was 12 days old me and my partner rushed him to hospital  Oliver was put onto a heated bed with oxygen. He had a feeding tube put in, along with a long line and a number of cannulas

    After 8 days of watching Oliver fight for his life in High Dependency Unit (HDU) the doctor finally came in and said Oliver had caught neonatal herpes. As you could imagine me and my partner was shocked, we couldn’t comprehend What he just said

    The doctor began to explain the herpes simplex virus can be passed onto a newborn baby if; a person has a cold sore and kisses the baby or touches the baby after touching the Cold sore.

    Cold sores are at their most contagious when they burst (rupture). They remain contagious until completely healed.

    Oliver spent 21 long days in the hospital and we finally get to go home with 6 months of antibiotics and visits to the hospital

    Please respect newborn baby and stay away if you have a cold sore.

    We’re the lucky ones! A few hours later this could be reading so differently.

    KEEP YOUR NEWBORNS SAFE, don’t let anyone kiss your baby on the lips, ensure everyone washes hands before they touch your baby and keep anyone with a cold sore away

    Credit Lucy Kendall

  • Don’t Let Wrong Information Ruin Your Life

    NICOLA’S STORY – ISABELLE FAITH PATTERSON

    It’s scary how many still believe babies run out of room.

    Midwifes still give this info out and Kicks Count are working to stop this.

    My story with reduced movements – Isabelle Faith Patterson

    I was a normal healthy pregnancy until 25 weeks. My babies movements started to decrease and I let professionals know, but I wasn’t listened to. I knew her pattern, I knew she wasn’t moving as much.

    I went in several times (at least 8 times) but pretty quickly discovered our hospitals policy along with some other hospitals is still 28 weeks to be scanned or monitored. So all that happened was they checked for her heartbeat every time and said she was fine and I needed to relax. Isabelle wasn’t my first baby, I wasn’t crazy, I knew something was wrong. But they knew I had lost my first-born baby girl late into pregnancy and they just said I was over worrying and paranoid because of this.

    27+3 weeks

    I was rushed into hospital by ambulance really faint, a temperature and heart rate 3 times it’s normal rate. Heart rate problem was normal for me, I have a heart condition. All that happened was, they gave me anti sickness, checked her heartbeat and said it was a bug and sent me home.

    27+5 weeks

    It got to 7pm and I hadn’t felt Isabelle move for a few hours. I called up my mum and she said don’t worry, she’s probably just sleeping and I had my 4D scan booked for the next day anyway. But I couldn’t shake that something was wrong, so I rang up and they reluctant said to go in once they heard my name yet again.

    I sat waiting to be seen for 2 hours, poking and prodding my tummy to get her to move and I got nothing back each time. But I still didn’t click in that she was probably gone.

    I was taken into a room, asked why I had gone in so I explained she hadn’t moved in a few hours and she tried to find her heartbeat with the Doppler. The Doppler batteries kept turning it off and on so after about ten minutes she tried the CTG machine, that wasn’t picking it up either.

    At this point I saw her face, she said Isabelle was probably just in my back, but I saw her face, she looked white. She said she would go and get the portable scanning machine and off she went to get it. My mum and me just sat in silence, I think deep down we knew, it was written all over the silence and ten mins later she came back in. She came back in with the scanner and said she would be back in a minute after she got some gloves, but then she came back in and said she found a doctor in the corridor and he would do quick scan but I didn’t believe her, I knew Isabelle was gone and so did she and that’s why she had got the doctor.

    He asked the same why I was in etc and then he put the scanner on me, he held it there for ten seconds and moved it off again and looked at the midwife. He pushed around on my tummy and put it on again and this time he wasn’t quick enough to move it off me. Isabelle was shown on the screen still with no heartbeat and I knew. She wasn’t moving, there was no flicker, there was no sound.

    It was the worst possible moment because the woman next door had clearly just given birth and as you heard the baby be delivered, he put his hand on mine and at 9:58pm said I am so sorry there’s no heartbeat anymore. I just laid there screaming no, it took minutes for tears to come because the shock took over. They said they would give me a minute to take it all in and would be back.

    The midwife was the first to hug me, my mum was still, she couldn’t move and hadn’t moved since he said the words there’s no heartbeat, she was frozen. She snapped out of it when I asked for her to come over because I needed her. I told her before she does anything, ring Paul because I can’t do it. She went to the other side of the room and called him and all I heard was her say Paul I am so sorry and even though he wasn’t on speakerphone you could hear him shout please no Karen. She called my sister after him and my sister said she was dropping her works night out and coming straight to the hospital.

    The midwife came back in and I asked what happens next and she said I can either come back home or stay in over night. If I choose to go home it’s totally my choice and I will come back in the next day at 8am to see the consultant and take the first induction tablet. I said I wanted to come home and be with Paul.

    So we drove home in absolute silence and the only thing I did was post on my group to tell people she was gone. The minute Paul opened the front door I collapsed onto him. How he stayed strong I will never know but I am so thankful he did. My mum stayed for a few minutes till he got me inside and then said she would give us some space and she was only over the road if we needed her no matter what time.

    It was 11pm so we went straight to bed. I collapsed entering the bedroom seeing the crib next to the bed. He helped me get into bed and he fell asleep pretty quickly. I laid there all night poking my bump telling her I was sorry I didn’t protect her. I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I think I managed to get an hours sleep after I spent hours crying and reading the replies saying they were in shock and so sorry.

    Paul wasn’t well enough to go in with me so family took the kids and he stayed home in bed. My mum was with me for the entire process. We went in and I was given booklet and packs on baby loss and what happens. I met the consultant who said she was sorry and did I understand what had happened as I seemed really calm. I didn’t cry, I didn’t say a word. I don’t think it had even sunk in by this point. She asked me to sign the paperwork saying I consented to induction and I was given the first tablet and told that would start to thin my cervix. But with me having previous babies it may set my waters off so if it did and with my history of rapid labour I had to go straight in. If not then I was back in on Monday. I also met the midwife who would support me from start to finish and she gave me Isabelle’s memory box to take home and look through before I had her.

    We left and my mum stayed at my house the Sunday night just incase and at 4am Monday morning I suspected my waters were going so we went straight in.

    At 10am I was given the second tablet and told this would induce the labour and I would now be here until the end. I asked the midwife how she could say the end when my end had already happened, she was already gone. She didn’t know how to answer me, she just looked at me with tears.

    I had already spoken to my birth photographer and explained Isabelle was gone and she offered to drop all costs and come and photograph it for free. Even though she had never done anything like it before.

    She arrived about half n hour after I had taken the second tablet and asked what photos I wanted and I just told her to shoot everything she could.

    Contractions started ten minutes after the second tablet and were bearable for a few hours and I was so tired, the midwives gave me diamorphine after a few hours to try to help me relax and drop off into a sleep as I was still only 4cm. My sister arrived to see me on her works dinner break and would leave after an hour. But only twenty minutes after they gave me diamorphine,contractions picked up and they recommended all 4’s to try to ease them but minutes after I got into that position I told them I needed to push and they said don’t be silly your only 4cm but they called in the midwives anyway.

    Sure enough it was time to push. It took half n hour of pushing to break my waters and Isabelle was right behind them, the waters took more effort than Isabelle and the midwives had never seen so much water, it soaked the entire double bed and the floor. Seconds later Isabelle started to appear and in 3 pushes she was out.

    The only thing I remember after this point is my first words when she was put on me, “She really isn’t going to cry is she” and at that point everyone broke down.

    I don’t remember much after this. I went into a complete trance and the only memories I have are the photos and I don’t even remember the photographer being there!

    They took her away and dressed her for me whilst I delivered the placenta and when it was delivered my mum asked was it supposed to be that small and the midwife just looked at her and shook her head. At this point I didn’t realise anything was even wrong.

    My mum hoped Isabelle would show some deformity to show why she was stillborn but there was nothing, she was perfect. The photographer said her job here is done and thanked me for giving her the honour of doing it. She said she was going home for a bath and to sit and cry and we both gave each other a hug.

    The post she made when she got home made me so upset. She truly was honoured to do this for me and that I trusted her.

    Isabelle Faith Patterson was born at 28+1 – 19/12/16 – 14:55pm – 2lb 2oz ❤

    On the 22nd December 3 days before Christmas. I held my little girl for the last time, said “goodbye princess”, put her in her Moses basket and watched the nurse wrap her up so nobody on the corridor would see and then carry her in her basket out of the room and that was the last time I saw her tiny perfect little face. ❤️

    Post mortem results came 4 months later and revealed that my placenta wasn’t even half the size it should be due to infection and was starving her, her movements slowing down were proof of that. She was fighting for her life and I couldn’t protect her! The hospital have now admitted if they had listened to me and scanned me she would’ve been saved and now I have to live with that. Me being so poorly two days before, was the infection taking hold.

    Mummies, always listen to your instinct ❤️❤️

    Decorating your babies coffin and carrying it is something you never want to go through. Nobody should EVER go through that and for some they will have too. But don’t let it be because of bad information when your child could have been saved. ❤️❤️

  • What They Don’t Tell You About The NICU

    It’s been 4 months since my little baby came into this world. 4 months since I was being rushed back for an emergency c-section. 4 months since the doctors cheered after hearing your little cry. 4 months since you were taken out of the operating room and into the NICU before I could see you.

    Just two days before that we were given a tour of the NICU. I remember feeling pretty calm and comfortable with the fact that that’s where my baby would be. The nurse showed us the different pods, told us what to expect, and explained what he would need to do in order to go home: breathe on his own, eat on his own, and gain weight.

    Looking back now I realize that there were so many things that they didn’t tell us. That I wasn’t prepared for.

    They don’t tell you that in just a couple of days that place will terrify you. It will become a second home you wish you never had.

    They don’t tell you how absolutely depressing it is to be discharged. Packing your bags and being wheeled out of the hospital without your baby is enough to make you want to vomit.

    They don’t tell you that you will feel this way EVERY TIME you leave that hospital without your baby.

    They don’t tell you that just days after a c-section, the walk from the parking deck to the NICU will be the longest, most painful walk of your life.

    They don’t tell you that holding your baby for the first time will be the best and worst moment of your life. You finally get to hold him – yay! But it’s not supposed to be this uncomfortable and terrifying.

    They don’t tell you that your interstate anxiety will instantly become a thing of the past because nothing – rain, flooding, thunderstorms, and not even the Afton mountain fog – will keep you from seeing your baby.

    They don’t tell you that you will blame the nurses and doctors. Your baby was having such a great day yesterday and now he’s back on oxygen and hooked up to IV’s. The medical staff must not be keeping a close enough eye on him.

    They don’t tell you that you will dream about the NICU. You will hear beeping machines in your sleep.

    They don’t tell you that you won’t feel like a mom. Someone else is taking care of your newborn. They are feeding him, changing him, and keeping him alive. What are you here for?

    They don’t tell you that you will cuss the people in the parking deck and the ones walking slow in front of you because it’s 1:55 and if you’re not in the NICU at 2:00 they will feed your baby without you and that’s what you look forward to everyday.

    They don’t tell you that you will pull into a rest stop on your way home to call and bitch at the nurse for not giving your constipated baby a glycerin yet. Obviously that’s way more important than what her other babies may be dealing with.

    They don’t tell you that you will hate your significant other. He obviously doesn’t love your baby as much as you do. How dare he want to take a day off from visiting him to relax and get some things done around the house. He must not care.

    They don’t tell you that your friends will piss you off and not even know it. How dare they have fun together and live a normal life when you feel like yours is falling apart.

    They don’t tell you that you will keep these feelings bottled up. You know you’re being irrational.

    They don’t tell you that you will become miserable to be around. You don’t want to have fun. You don’t want to tell your family members that your baby is having a “bad” day.

    They don’t tell you that someone telling you that their coworkers sisters best friends baby was in the NICU and she’s 5 years old now and healthy as can be will NOT make you feel better. That’s not YOUR baby. YOUR baby may be different.

    They don’t tell you that someone telling you to “take a day off” will piss you off. How are you supposed to take a day off when that’s your baby over there, in the hospital, an hour away?

    They don’t tell you that you will make the trip to see him two times in one day because you got home and realized that you missed him and needed more cuddles.

    They don’t tell you that even though he isn’t home yet, you still don’t get much sleep.

    They don’t tell you that you will eventually become numb to the feeling of nurses rushing in when his oxygen and heart rate drops once again, causing a machine to alarm.

    They don’t tell you that you will become an expert on NEC, chronic lung disease, and various other diseases that can affect preemies.

    They don’t tell you that you will struggle. The money it takes to travel there adds up. You’ll take weeks off work because your baby needs you. You’re significant other will take FMLA when your baby isn’t doing good. You will understand what it means to be broke.

    They don’t tell you that people will talk. He was probably born early because I worked out during my pregnancy, right? Or I must have been doing SOMETHING wrong to make him come early.

    They don’t tell you that you will blame yourself. Even though you know there was no way to stop the preeclampsia, it was still your body that was the problem. And cutting back on sodium and drinking more water doesn’t touch a blood pressure that is 178/119.

    They don’t tell you that you will go from ignoring every unknown caller to rushing to your phone at the sound of the first ring. Who knows, that number from Houston, Texas may be a doctor that just recently moved to VA.

    They don’t tell you that your heart will race when your phone does ring. Is it UVA? Is it bad news? Is Grayson ok?

    They don’t tell you that you will always have a terrible, awful, feeling that your baby will never come home with you.

    They don’t tell you that you will learn to smile to hide your jealousy. You will try to hold back tears as yet another happy family walks out of the NICU with their baby, taking him home.

    They don’t tell you that the first couple nights home with him will be absolutely terrifying. Is he breathing ok? It’s hard to tell without monitors on him.

    They don’t tell you that you won’t remember much from that time frame. If it didn’t have to do with the NICU and your baby, it didn’t happen.

    They don’t tell you that you won’t know fear until you see your baby being rushed BACK to UVA in an ambulance because his oxygen is low. All those tears you’ve held back for weeks will finally pour out.

    They don’t tell you that your heart will stop and your soul will leave your body when you hear the doctors mention pneumonia. You know what that means for a baby that delicate and small.

    They don’t tell you that your blood will boil when his 6-year-old brother tells his grandma that he’s big and healthy because he “got out of the hospital on time, unlike Grayson”. You let it slide and don’t say a word because he’s only 6 years old, you know he didn’t think of that on his own. 6 year olds don’t say things like that. Adults do.

    They don’t tell you that you that people you don’t even know will send you their prayers. Friends and family members that you haven’t seen or spoken to in years will give you their support and love.

    They don’t tell you that this whole experience will make you thankful. There will be a new meaning to life. Your baby fought for his life and won. He may be fragile but he’s STRONG.

    Babies are born smaller and earlier than Grayson everyday. He was born with no life threatening health issues. He spent 53 days in the NICU. He’s one of the lucky ones.

    Grayson James was born at 32 weeks gestational age at 2 lbs 13 oz. He’s now 4 months old and 9 lbs 3 oz. That’s something to be thankful for.

    Credit: Morgan Leigh Propst

  • Give all women the choice of an Induction at 41 weeks of Pregnancy

    Victoria Birtles is desperate for support and needs your help.

    Birtles said “Give all women the choice of an Induction at 41 weeks of Pregnancy.

    Our son Archie was stillborn in June 2017 at 41+5. He had died only hours before I had gone into labour and was born a perfect 7lb11. Had I been induced with Archie at 41 weeks he most certainly would have been born a healthy baby boy. We now have to live everyday with the grief of losing our son.

    Eight babies are Stillborn everyday in the UK. Evidence proves that a pregnancy continued past 41 weeks has a dramatically increased risk of a stillbirth. Due to this evidence the USA induce all women at 41 weeks.

    Unfortunately we have no such law in the UK and it is still currently procedure to let mothers continue to 42 weeks. The result of this is that the UK still has one of the highest percentages of stillbirth in the world today.

    Help us save lives of unborn children in the UK.

    Please sign the petition below and share on Facebook, Twitter or via email if you can.

    https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/215228

    The deadline to get 100,000 signatures is only a few months away so please help.

    To share our own story, advertise on Mums advice Facebook page or website, raise awareness of any topic or would like us to do so on your behalf then please send a short email to mumsadviceltd@outlook.com. We also feature new and established bloggers.