Welcome to Mums Advice

Tag: help

  • Because You Didn’t Want To Lose Him, You Lost Yourself

    Because you didn’t want to lose him, you lost yourself in the process.

    You became a girl who kept being mistreated and you formed a habit of saying “I’m used to it”. You became a girl who kept being unappreciated and you began to tell yourself “It’s okay”.

    You became a girl who kept being undervalued and you learned how to say “I’m fine”. You became a girl who kept being put last and you naturally reacted with “It’s whatever”. You became a girl who kept being taken for granted and you dealt with it by repeating “Everything’s okay”.

    You became a girl who kept being unhappy and you regularly told people “I’m gonna be fine”. And if you’re reading this right now, then you need to understand that no guy is worth losing yourself for, no guy is worth suffering for at the expense of your happiness, and no guy is worth tormenting yourself over for the sake of making him happy.

    At this point, perhaps losing him is the only way you’d be able to get yourself back because as much as you wouldn’t want this to be true, he’s the only thing that’s in your way of finding yourself and he’s the only reason you’ve lost yourself for so long.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/vikki.gattuso

     

  • I Wish Mummy Didn’t Kill Me

    I wish mummy didn’t kill me!

    This is a story about a young boy with a huge heart. And it’s a story that everyone should read and share.
    The story is about James, but ultimately, it isn’t about him. It is, about millions of other children like James, living the same nightmare across the entire world today.

    This story of James is fictional, its message hit me right in the heart . We must not ignore this issue or message.

    We must not forget James.
    My name is James and I am  6-years-old. I love my mummy and daddy, but I’m also very scared of them. They often hit me and I don’t understand or know why.

    This morning I woke up and went to school. I am good learning and do as I’m told and my teacher likes me.

    I like all my classmates, too, but I have no friends. That’s why I usually stay indoors during breaks. Nobody wants to play with me. I tried to make friends with the other children, but they said No and also said I was disgusting.

    They laugh at me because I wear the same worn-out jeans, t-shirt and torn shoes every day.

    One day after school I went into the coat room and stole a jacket that was hanging there for a long time, nobody seemed to be missing it. Then I went home alone through the snowstorm. I was shivering with cold and it was hard to walk against the strong wind. Suddenly someone pushed me forward, I fell down in the snow and someone pressed my face into it. Then they said:

    “No one likes you. Idiot!”

    They kicked me in my back and in my stomach, then they ran away and left me in the cold snow.

    I cried. Not because I was cold or injured, I cried because I did not have a single friend, even though I liked everyone else.

    As soon as I got home, my mummy ran over and grabbed me by the hair.

    “Where have you been? Why are you so wet and dirty? Bloody kid, no dinner for you, go to your room and stay there.”

    I did as my mummy told me, I went into my room and did not get out until the next day, although I was very hungry and freezing cold.

    My school work got worse and worse, and every time daddy was informed, he hit me hard. Once he hit me so hard that I could not move my index finger, I never got back the movement in my index finger and all the children laughed at me for it.

    Time went by and one day I got a lot of pain in my chest.

    Mummy and daddy did not care I was hurt. In the evening I lay in my bed and I only wanted one thing. I wish I would not hurt more, because I did not want to annoy Mummy and Daddy. I love them so much, I really do.

    The next day at school we were told to paint our biggest dream. The other children painted cars, rockets and nice dolls. I did not.

    Not because I don’t like those things, but because what I wished for most of all was a loving mummy and daddy. So I painted a family. One mummy, one daddy and their son. They played games and everyone was happy. As I painted, I cried silently. I would love to have a mummy and daddy who loved me.

    When it was my turn to show  my painting for the class, everyone laughed at me.

    I stood in front of the class and explained:

    “My biggest dream is a loving family”.

    The laughs got louder. I began to cry and said,

    “Please don’t laugh at me, this is my biggest dream! You can hit me, you can hate me, but I beg you, please don’t laugh at me.

     want parents like you have, that hug and laugh with me, who pick me up after school and are happy to see me. I know I’m ugly and weak, I know I have a crooked finger, but please don’t laugh at me.”

    The teacher tried to wipe my tears, I think some children understood me, but many continued to laugh.

    One day when I got a test back, I immediately saw that I had a bad result. I knew my mummy would be very upset.

    I was afraid to go home, but I did not know where else I would go. I slowly walked home, but I did not want to arrive. My mummy became furious.

    She grabbed me and threw me on the floor, I hit my leg hard on a chair.

    Then she hit me in my head twice. I just lay there, I could not get up. It really hurt. But mummy just left me there on the floor.

    When she came back she told me to clean up the mess, otherwise when Daddy came home he would really beat me.

    I begged Mummy not to say anything to him, but when I looked up, I saw that he was already in the doorway.

    When Mummy told him about the test, he pulled me up from the floor, he shook me and hit my face.

    I don’t remember anything after this. I woke up in the hospital. I looked at my hand, I could not touch any of my five fingers. I looked out the window and cried.

    Outside, I saw parents playing with their children, throwing balls together and hugging.

    Do you know why I cried?

    I don’t know how a hug from my mom feels like. My parents just beat me, but I love them anyway. I’ve always done my best, I’ve been good at school, but they do not like me still.

    One day I spilled some of my water, then they hit me again.

    Suddenly I got pain in my chest again. I told my mummy – but she did not care. After a while, I had to go to the hospital again, no one came and saw me.

    The doctor said that mum and dad would probably come the next day, but they did not. I waited and waited, but nobody came. I love my parents anyway.

    Two days later, James died of his injuries. In his hand the doctors found a letter that he had not written clearly.

    “Dear mummy and daddy, I’m terrified because I’m ugly, disgusting and stupid. I’m sorry because you can not love me.

    I never wanted to annoy you. All I wanted was to get a hug and hug from mummy, and hear that you loved me once. Daddy I just wanted you to play with me, hold my hand for a walk or sing for me.

    I know I’m a shame for you. I will never be those things.“

    Then James’s little heart stopped.

    This story was originally written in Russian. I’m not sure if it’s been true, but I think that matters little. It’s incredibly important anyway!

    All children are entitled to be loved. Still child abuse happens every second, every minute, every hour and every day. In all countries, all cities and all schools.

    A child’s home should be free from violence and a safe place. Children need love, tenderness and closeness, and a hug can sometimes be worth a lot more than you could ever imagine.

    Please share this story with all your friends on Facebook to remind everyone that no child should ever feel hurt or unloved.

    If you suspect a child is being abuse don’t hesitate in reporting it: https://www.gov.uk/report-child-abuse

  • If You See This On Your Child Get Them Seen ASAP

    I’ve been in two minds whether to post this but my husband convinced me as he said if I hadn’t been here he wouldn’t have realised. I am sure there are other parents who wouldn’t either and the only reason I knew is because it had happened to a friend’s son 2 years ago and she had shared.

    A week or so ago the littlest fell over at the zoo. He took quite a bashing but once we got home I cleaned him up. I rang school on Farm school day to make sure he washed his hands after digging and I tried hard to ensure it was kept clean (hand and elbow). He’s an 8 yr old boy however.

    The wounds didn’t look infected- they’d got bigger so I was concerned but they weren’t gunky etc. Yesterday on our way to the beach he showed me his hand. I wasn’t happy as I noticed red tracking down his vein. I then checked his elbow – the same. I took him down to the out of hours feeling a bit silly but when the doctor saw it he commended me on recognising it and getting down ASAP.

    This is blood poisoning/ sepsis. It isn’t something you can’t “leave” until Monday when the doctors are back in the office.

    Thankfully the antibiotics are working and he is well in himself! If you spot this red line running from a wound along the vein get yourself/ your child seen straight away. Hopefully my post might help someone the way my friend’s post from 2 years ago helped me 😍

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.ruddy.50

     

  • Bananas Some Very Interesting Facts and Uses

    ” BANANAS…”

    A very interesting FACTS

    Never, put your banana in the refrigerator!!!…

    This is interesting. After reading this, you’ll never look at a banana in the same way again.

    Bananas contain three natural sugars – sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.

    Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes.

    But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

    DEPRESSION:

    According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

    PMS:

    Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

    ANEMIA:

    High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

    BLOOD PRESSURE:

    This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

    BRAIN POWER:

    200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

    CONSTIPATION:

    High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

    HANGOVERS:

    One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

    HEARTBURN:

    Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

    MORNING SICKNESS:

    Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

    MOSQUITO BITES:

    Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

    NERVES:

    Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system..

    Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

    ULCERS:

    The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

    TEMPERATURE CONTROL:

    Many other cultures see bananas as a ‘cooling’ fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

    So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has FOUR TIMES the protein, TWICE the carbohydrate, THREE TIMES the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals.. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, ‘A BANANA a day keeps the doctor away!’

    PASS IT ON TO YOUR FRIENDS…

    PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time! I will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe…polish with dry cloth. Amazing fruit !!!

  • I AM The Child That Is Misunderstood

    Read all “I am the child that looks healthy and fine.

    I was born with ten fingers and toes.

    But something is different, somewhere in my mind,

    And what it is, nobody knows.

    I am the child that struggles in school,

    Though they say that I’m perfectly smart.

    They tell me I’m lazy — can learn if I try —

    But I don’t seem to know where to start.

    I am the child that won’t wear the clothes

    Which hurt me or bother my feet.

    I dread sudden noises, can’t handle most smells,

    And tastes — there are few foods I’ll eat.

    I am the child that can’t catch the ball

    And runs with an awkward gait.

    I am the one chosen last on the team

    And I cringe as I stand there and wait.

    I am the child with whom no one will play —

    The one that gets bullied and teased’

    I try to fit in and I want to be liked,

    But nothing I do seems to please.

    I am the child that tantrums and freaks

    Over things that seem petty and trite.

    You’ll never know how I panic inside,

    When I’m lost in my anger and fright.

    I am the child that fidgets and squirms

    Though I’m told to sit still and be good.

    Do you think that I choose to be out of control?

    Don’t you know that I would if I could?

    I am the child with the broken heart

    Though I act like I don’t really care.

    Perhaps there’s a reason I’m made this way —

    Some message I’m sent to share.

    For I am the child that needs to be loved

    And accepted and valued too.

    I am the child that is misunderstood.

    I am different – but look just like you.

  • The Police Tried To Save Me From My Mini Abuser

    Police officer: Hi madam, we called around because we were concerned you’ve had a break-in.. are you ok?

    Me: Yes, I’m fine?

    Officer: it’s just that there’s debris all over the front lawn and a child’s bike in your hedge…

    Me: yes officer..

    Officer: and so we looked in through your windows and the house has clearly been turned over, every cupboard and drawer had been ransacked.. it’s carnage..

    Me:

    Officer: and there’s blood on your carpets.

    Me: it’s ketchup.

    Officer: are you sure Ma’am? Only we noticed a lot of fingerprints and smears on your patio windows, and what looks like a full face print..there’s potentially a lot of DNA evidence there..

    Me: it’s ok, really

    Officer: but there’s water overflowing from your taps and the sink appears to have been deliberately blocked with a shoe..

    Me: *blinks*

    Officer: We noticed you laying on the floor in your hallway and so we listened through the letter box, and could hear you begging for a swift death, and asking for the perpetrator to stop hitting you with the vacuum hose.. are you under duress? Please blink to signal you need help..

    Me: I HAVE A TODDLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/pottymouthmumma/

     

  • Febrile Convulsions I Didn’t Know What To Do

    FEBRILE CONVULSIONS!!!!

    LONG POST BUT PLEASE READ.

    So just wanted to put a little warning out there for all the mummies that don’t know about febrile conculsions,

    On Saturday my whole life nearly shattered, I was out the full day with Matthew, we went to the park, and went for some food he was fine and acting his usual self hyper and full of energy, as we were walking home he fell asleep so I just left him to it, once we got home I took him out his pram and put him in his bed, and that’s when I noticed he was breathing very fast.

    So I stripped him down to his vest and took his temperature, his temperature was at 39.9 so gave him some ibuprofen (baby) to help and within 2 minutes of him taken it he started to daze off so I started to cup his cheek and talk to him asking if everything was okay, he then started to shake, I didn’t know what to do or what was happening I picked him up and he started to get worse and worse my baby started turning purple.

    I panicked and shouted to my partner Marc and he took Matthew and sat him on his knee trying to make sure his tongue never rolled to the back of his throat, he’s then started to turn blue 6 minutes in and he still wasn’t coming round, mean while we were on hold for the ambulance, after about 10 minutes my baby’s body went floppy and foam was coming from his mouth he was unresponsive, he came back round for a few seconds and was crying normal again then the he went straight back into another seizure.

    The  ambulance came and he was given oxygen and they took his heart rate as they were doing there thing I was thinking it’s my fault thinking I had done something I had a panic attack and my mind went blank, I couldn’t think straight i was broken and terrified that I was going to lose my baby💔, we got to the hospital and they told me it was “ febrile convulsions” and that it’s common in baby’s up to the age of 6, it’s caused by a baby’s temperature being too high and because they can’t regulate there own body it kinda goes into shock it occurs in about 3 in 100 children , and can also can re-occurs approximately 3-4 times in a child.

    I was never told anything about this as a new mum you would think they would give you warning if a babies high temperature could cause a seizure, i though the worse and though I was going to lose my baby and I would never in a million years wish that on my worst enemy💔,

    What do you do if your baby starts to have a febrile convulsion seizure?

    Try to keep calm as much as it’s frightening they will not be aware of anything that’s going on.

    Do not hold your child down when they’re having a fit

    Lay your child on the floor or ground on their side to prevent choking or accidental injury

    Do not put anything near or in your babies mouth

    Take a note of how long the fit last and seek medical attention.

    Most babies come round within 5-10 minutes and will be completely fine and not aware of anything that’s just happened.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/bobbieanne.simpson

     

  • I Saw You Mama And I Know What You Need

    In the hustle of the room I peered over at my friend bent over in pain. Baby had just been born and everyone was surrounding the miracle that happened before our eyes and naturally everyone was in awe of him.

    But I was especially in awe of her. I saw you, mama. I saw the pain in your eyes and in your face and in your body. Because this is now a new season called postpartum. We tend to forget our mamas when babies are around. We ask how baby is, what does baby need, can we hold the baby, can we buy this for the baby but… what about mama? Let us not forget the hard work she endured to carry this child AND the hard road ahead to mother and heal and feed and rest and parent her other children also.

    What do mamas really need? Meals dropped off, someone to watch baby so they can shower, solid child care for her other children, house cleaners to stop by and help out. Heating pads and coffee and comfy PJs. Maybe fast food. Or a friend to fold laundry. Maybe a new movie to watch or your Netflix login. Let’s not forget the mamas. It’s just so easy to because women are incredibly strong and seem to have it all together but they need the support and the extra hands more than ever entering into that fourth trimester.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/alexmichelephotography/ and Tammy White

     

  • When Will I See The Baby?

    “When can I come see the baby?”

    A question new moms might hear over and over.

    At least at first.

    Sometimes before she has left the hospital.

    Before she has had a chance to sleep.

    Before she has even showered off the blood.

    “When can I come see the baby?”

    Her phone dings while she settles back in to her home with a brand new human – to her brand new normal.

    Her estrogen and progesterone levels are plummeting from the highest they’ve ever been to the lowest. She is shaky and hot and cold and sweaty and weak.

    Whether she chooses to breastfeed or not, her milk is coming in and she is sore and engorged.

    Whether she delivered vaginally or by c-section, her uterus will be contracting for days and weeks. Sometimes it’s as painful as labor.

    She’s bleeding and will continue to bleed for up to six weeks post-delivery.

    Her crotch is swollen and puffy and sore, or her incision is painful, or both.

    She is struggling to go to the bathroom – and she pees her pants (or pad) when she laughs, sneezes, and coughs.

    Her core muscles are weak, making lifting ANYthing hard.

    She’s starving. Endlessly starving.

    She has stretch marks and varicose veins, hair loss and acne, blurry vision and dry eyes. She sees a stranger in the mirror.

    She is totally and utterly exhausted. She hasn’t slept for more than an hour at a time in days or weeks.

    Any independence she had – to run errands, go to work, shower, eat, pee, sleep – has been suspended for now.

    So when you walk into her house, look at HER first.

    Give her space to heal, to bond, and to rest if she needs it.

    Be there if she needs it.

    Offer to help her.

    And then help her.

    Admire the baby, sure.

    But don’t forget to nurture the mother.

    Credit Nicolle Godor

  • My Oldest Son Took His Life The Signs Were There We Just Didn’t See Them

    My oldest son Phillip took his own life on Monday the 18th March 2019. He was only 34 years old. For over 6 years he had been a loving single Dad to his 3 young children. Aged 12yrs, 10yrs & the youngest only 7yrs old.

    The signs were there had we looked hard enough, had we realised what they were. He was depressed, down, had started drinking, found it hard to sleep. He hid this from us, instead, he would let us believe that all was well. We found out after he had died, just how low he had become. We found out that he had bought his XXXXXXXXXXXXX. As easy as that. We also found his suicide note on his p.c.

    Saying how he had and was failing his children, how he had hurt others along the way. How with him gone, everyone would be so much better off. He was wrong, we were all so proud of him, a young lad taking on custody of 3 children, youngest at the time was only 7 mths old.

    I never ever would have thought that it would have been Phillip that would take his own life. That day he had dropped his children off at school, had an argument with his ex and then with her family. He drove 5 mins away. Pulled over off the road. Posted a status on Facebook at 10.45. At 10.53 he uploaded a photo of himself crying on WhatsApp…

    It would have been quick and painless the police told us when they knocked at our door at 1 pm. All over with so quickly. One beautiful life snuffed out just as quick as that. He lost his fight that day, lost the fight to his demons. Nothing can bring him back. The pain left behind is so intense, his 3 brothers & 2 sisters are walking around lost. A massive part of them has gone. My heart has been ripped out, my soul totally destroyed. Nothing is going to heal this hole deep inside us.

    I don’t want his death to be in vain though. I need it to be worth something. If anyone is feeling the same way that my son was that dreadful morning. Reach out I’m Begging you. Talk to someone, even if it’s a total stranger. Death is NOT the answer, although it may seem like the only escape route. It’s not. YOUR LIFE MATTERS. You matter to people. You are worth saving every time. Please hear these words from the heart of a grieving mother, and get help.

    Sheena

    DON’T SUFFER IN SILENCE ….ITS OK TO NOT BE OK ….

    UK HELPLINES…..ADVICE FURTHER DOWN….

    Samaritans – for everyone

    Call 116 123

    Email jo@samaritans.org

    Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – for men

    Call 0800 58 58 58 – 5pm to midnight every day

    Or visit the webchat page

    Papyrus – for people under 35

    Call 0800 068 41 41 – Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm, weekends 2pm to 10pm,

    Text 07786 209697

    Email pat@papyrus-uk.org

    Childline – for children and young people under 19

    Call 0800 1111 – the number won’t show up on your phone bill

    The Silver Line – for older people

    Call 0800 4 70 80 90

    TALK TO SOMEONE YOU TRUST….

    Let family or friends know what’s going on with you. They may be able to offer support and help keep you safe.

    There’s no right or wrong way to talk about suicidal feelings – starting the conversation is what’s important.

    If you find it difficult to talk to someone you know, you could call your GP – ask for an emergency appointment or

    call 111 out of hours – they will help you find the support and help you need

    TIPS FOR COPING RIGHT NOW …

    Try not to think about the future – just focus on getting through today

    Stay away from drugs and alcohol

    Get yourself to a safe place, like a friend’s house

    Be around other people

    Do something you usually enjoy, such as spending time with a pet