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Tag: help

  • Government Screwing Over The Disabled

    A man named Vince Paul Rodgers took to Facebook to express his upset and disgust with his wives disability payments being stopped.

    Rodgers said:

    *Please share the life out of this*

    To all who know me and know my wife Julie, the Government have in their wisdom taken Julie off her employment and support allowance due to an oversight on my behalf and now has been given her P45 to start looking for a job/work. 
    Julie is a tetraplegic due to hypoxic brain damage and can’t do anything for herself. Julie will be attending the job centre on Monday morning after the miracle worker has been and rid her of her disabilities.

    * for some who are wondering what my oversight was it is as follows………… I received the letter asking for Julie to attend an interview……….I put that letter in a safe place and on the morning of the interview I forgot all about it, I received a letter to explain why she didn’t attend, so I told the truth and said that I had forgotten, they sent out a reply stating that they were not accepting my reason and removed Julie from her benefit, I appealed for the decision to be changed and a new interview to take place, yesterday I received there reply that they were sticking to the original decision and removed Julies benefits. *
    * update – update – update *

    Julie and I attended the Job Centre this morning with a reporter Rochelle Hughes from Selby Times, I take my hat off to the staff and manager at Selby job centre after seeing Julie was unfit for work they managed to get in touch with the DWP to resolve the matter in hand, in a nutshell they have reinstated Julies benefits, but Julie still has to do a face to face interview/Assessment with the powers to be to see if she’s still able to work 😳😳😳, awaiting the appointment letter now. 

  • I Do Not Help My Wife And Neither Should You

    I do not help my wife!!!

    A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”

    He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”

    I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.

    I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.


    I I do not help my wife.


    A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”



     

    He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”



     

    I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.


    I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.


    I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.


    I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.


    I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.


    I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.


    I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you


    But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!


    Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?


    Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.


    Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.


    The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! “



     

    Author unknown but truly awesome…

    I do  not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.

    I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.

    I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.

    I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.

    I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you

    But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!

    Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?

    Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.

    Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.

    The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! “

    If you agree share x


     

  • Why Didn’t I Feel Love? Postnatal Depression 

    When I was 18 I found out I was pregnant with my first child. 

    My partner and I (7 years my elder) where over the moon we were so excited! At the 20 week scan we found out we was having a boy 😍 my partners face dropped (he wanted a girl) but then it hit him a son! his son!

     So we went out and brought paint and decorated the nursery. I would spend hours sat in there excited and washing all his clothes and sorting his stuff out. Then at 34 weeks I found out I had polyhydramnios (excess water) and baby was already 8lb 10!

     Panic set in I was told it was most likely a blockage in the baby and his first feed would be through a nasel tube! We was shocked ! I was induced at 38 weeks and 3 days later my son was born he was perfectly fine… I wasn’t …. Where was this rush of love I’m supposed to feel … I was numb both physically and mentally I was kept in over night I told the hospital I want my partner to stay and reluctantly they agreed and everything was fine.

     Home time came around it was horrible I felt like a failure because I thought I didn’t love my own child I would look down at this pure innocent baby and not feel anything. 

    Week later the numb feeling turned to anger and resentment against both my baby and my partner. I couldn’t cope, I couldn’t do night feeds , I would put the crying baby down and walk out crying! I had no family as they lived over 300 miles away and no friends no one. 

    I would stand in the kitchen over the sink washing bottles crying.( I couldn’t breastfeed either) My partner came home from work and found me in tears because I couldn’t find the remote for the telly and I had a break down, he told me I needed to go to the Doctors, so I did because I knew this wasn’t me.

    I went from laid back to angry and withdrawn. I also had thoughts that I would be better off dead although I never told anyone apart from my doctor. I got help. I meet regularly with my GP and am on antidepressants. 

    My baby is now a year old and I love him I have always loved him! Always will! Post natal depression is not anything to be ashamed of and is a serious issue that affects all kinds of people (including Dad’s ) and in different ways but you are not alone and there are all kinds of options other than antidepressants too!

     Although I still have no friends and I am miles away from family I have my little family and it’s perfect! To those who are reading and thinking that’s me please don’t suffer in silence it’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about!It gets better I promise ❤ 

  • I Never Wanted ‘Mummy Friends’

    Gylisa Jayne’s Facebook post is going viral and it’s clear to see why.  She tells us of her situation and for so many parents it is far too familiar.  Too many of us think we can do things alone, or that we should suffer in silence.  This is simply not the case.

    I never wanted ‘ Mummy Friends’.

    I didn’t want to sit in noisy soft plays, or talk about different coloured shit.

    I didn’t want to have knowledge about best nappy brands, or know exactly how many fanny stitches we all had.

    I had a preconceived idea that Mummy Groups were vicious cliques, and I hadn’t been in one at school – I didn’t plan to start now.

    I didn’t need them anyway, I had my soul mate – my baby daddy. The man I had chosen for this journey. He would be there for everything. I didn’t need anyone else.

    Then I had a baby, and I needed someone.

    The network I should have had, simply wasn’t there.

    My midwives were too busy, I hadn’t met any of them twice.
    My Health Visitor was a vanishing woman – still talking about phone numbers and triages and children’s centres id never heard of as she walked herself out. Never to be seen again.

    Then there was my partner. My chosen mate. The first love of my life. The man that knew what I needed before I did.

    Only he didn’t understand me anymore.
    He was trying to figure out his Dad Role.
    He didn’t understand why I was crying
    about putting the kettle in the fridge. 🙈
    He didn’t know why I’d forgotten to take the parcels to the post office.
    He didn’t know why I had no love left over for him.

    I didn’t want ‘ Mummy Friends’.
    Until I realised that no one else would understand me like they did.

    The ones that had been there, done that.
    The ones that were fumbling through for the first time – just like me.
    The ones who had had every argument you can imagine with their husband.
    The ones proving you didn’t need to lose yourself along the way. That you’ll find a new you as you go.

    The ones who needed me just as much as I needed them.

    I made them laugh, and they made me howl with our observations of this bizarrely fabulous and horrendous journey.

    There was no clique, just women loving women – despite what you might have heard.

    I had love left over for my partner again then. Because he might not get it – but there were scores of women that did.

    So I didn’t want ‘Mummy Friends’…

    I needed them.

    x

    Credit Gylisa Jayne Facebook

  • Charlie Gard Urgent Appeal

    URGENT APPEAL CAN YOU HELP!!!!

    URGENT we need a pediatric intensive care consultant to come forward to assist and facilitate with a hospice stay by 12pm tomorrow, we will pay privately. PLEASE HELP US!! Can you please contact James (Charlie’s godfather) on jamesevers1039@gmail.com please only email if you can help us! We need some peaceful time with our baby boy 💔 xxx

    This is the latest update from Charlie’s Facebook support group, please share if you can 

  • Can You Help This Griefing Family

    A heartbroken mum pleas for return of irreplaceable teddy bear which plays voice of toddler son who died and comforts her young daughter.

    A grief-stricken mum is appealing for help to find an irreplaceable teddy bear which plays the voice of her toddler son who died at just 19 months, when you press the bear paws it plays the voice of her angel son.

    The tailor-made toy was given to Alexiah to help her cope following the loss of her brother Noah Lister, who died in his sleep in February this year.


    Miss Lynn, from Hull, said Alexiah had a “special bond” with her brother and she struggled to understand why Noah was no longer with her, this bear comforts her when she is sad or lonely.

    Miss Lynn said: “It’s so upsetting and Alexiah is really upset. It was really comforting for her to have that bear because every time she got upset she would cuddle it so she could hear Noah’s voice.


    Miss Lynn believes that she may have lost the bear while she was traveling on a bus from Anlaby Road to Boothferry.

    Please share in the hope of reuniting this special bear to a griefing family 

  • A poem to our son in heaven & uncle on earth 

    My son Riley passed away aged 4, 13 months ago he had been playing in the pool with his uncle Paul who was 15 at the time, his uncle left my son unattended for a matter of minutes to use the bathroom.

    This is a poem I have written to my brother and son, he made a mistake, he isn’t to blame, we all forgive him, but he can’t forgive himself.

    I have so many things to tell you, that I don’t know how to say.

    So many things are happening and things are changing everyday.

    Something’s are getting better, and others just getting worse, everything is changing and everyone is hurt.

    I am always hurting, I always seem to cry, everyone is leaving and don’t even say goodbye.
    Suicide seems to linger in uncle Paul’s mind, he knows it’s stupid but still he thinks it all the time, he isn’t  thinking clear… and all he is doing is hurting people he holds dear.

    I know that you are in Heaven, looking down from above, but please show us dear Riley my brother some love.

  • I Help And Support My Childs Abuser 

    I want to share my story, the story of how i knowingly let my sons abuser move in every weekend.This is how I lost the support of my family but I feel I did the right thing.
    My son was 2, a happy, mischievous blonde haired lad, a boy who never failed to make me smile.

    He was always happy, until September 3 years ago.

    He became quiet and timid and was struggling to use the toilet, his bottom bled, I put it down to him straining too hard.

    After a day of spotting I took him to the Doctor, my son screamed and screamed when the doctor tried to take down his trousers.
    Once we had managed to take down his trousers and pants and the Doctor examined him, he discovered he had a large anal tear, we rushed to hospital.
    At the hospital he was again examined but had to be sedated as he became so distressed, the police and social services arrived.
    I was taken to the family room and spoken to, they said they think my son had been abused.
    They asked for a list of people who had recently been in contact with my son.
    As a lone parent and my son not at nursery yet the list was short. My father, my sister, my brother in law and my 11 year old nephew.
    When the police spoke to them all my nephew confessed to raping my son.
    Eventually he was sentenced to 6 months in a juvenile detention centre. 

    I went to visit him and spoke to him at length, his mum and dad had disowned him.

    He apologised and he told me he didn’t know it was wrong.
    How could he not know?

    Surely my sons cries would make him stop?

    The blood running down my sons legs?

    I questioned him, he confessed that his father (my brother in law) did it to him all the time, ever since he can remember and he always cried and called out, he bled, he thought it was normal.

    My poor nephew had been abused all his life…

    I helped him report it, but no charges were ever made as who would believe the word of a child rapist with no evidence.
    I decided I would would help him when he came out, after all my son and my nephew were both victims here.
    My son luckily had no memory of the incident and was back to his normal happy self.
    Social services and the courts were obviously reluctant to release him into my care, but agreed he could stay at weekends away from his new foster carers if I put special measures in place.
    My nephew has the loft room, which I have to lock of a night, my son and nephew are never aloud alone together and social services visit once a month.
    He’s been staying with us a year now and both my son and nephew are healing, my family have walked away from us, they do not support us.

    They do not see a broken boy who just needs guidance and love they see a rapist and a fool and a victim. 

  • Americans Don’t Have Egg Cups 

    Ok who knew!!!

    Americans have never heard of egg cups.

    How do they have dippy eggs?

    This is worse than Americans claiming to have invented the sausage roll or banning Kinder eggs.


    I don’t know how Americans can survive without this essential item.

    Let’s all ship one out to our American comrades.

    Set the eggs free

  • Before I Had Children

    Now you’ve all heard the saying before I had children, I never stopped to smell  flowers, I never pulled over to look at horses…

    But we have compiled the real version… the version no one tells you about  before you have children the truth .

    Sometimes with bare hands
    Or talking dogs or creatures in the night garden
    We all need chocolate
    I’m sorry for being such a bad child
    Ok maybe not
    God damn you tiny creatures
    Every bump, every cough
    Sniff test
    They weren’t really friends anyway
    My child loses a shoe every morning
    Especially if you have more than one child
    They do hold in the tummy though
    About everything!!!!
    Trampolines are a no go
    PACK IT IN!!!
    So tired!!!
    Constantly
    Please let me sleep
    Yep that’s poop
    Well a lot more often than I do now
    Boys have terrible aim
    Please baby stay on your back
    More than once

    Finger painting
    Sometimes on purpose

    Share to any mums to be