Tag: hate

  • Dearest Harry Go Be You

    Dear Harry,

    Darling Harry.

    We have watched you grow from a smiley, cheeky little boy, who adored his mother, his brother and his little trio, to one who quickly had to grow up. Overnight.

    We watched , along with the whole world, as your life, your grief and your pain….was blasted all over our television screens.

    We watched you walk behind …that…carriage.

    We watched you, a little 12 year old boy, be expected to keep up with the men around you, and emotionally cope with what you were being faced with. You had no hand to hold. No arms to bury yourself in. No one wiping away the tears you no doubt desperately wanted to cry.

    We watched, little one, as Princess Diana was paraded, slowly, in front of millions. But she wasn’t a Princess to you. She was ‘mummy’. And you suddenly lost the someone who made you smile, laugh, and gave you affection like no other person in your life.

    We watched as the world kept turning. But yours stood still.

    We watched you struggle as a teenager and young adult with this new reality.

    We watched you rebel against the expectations of ‘your lot’.

    We watched you just want to be normal. Despite being reminded that you’re not.

    We watched you push the boundaries of what a member of the royal family could do. Where they could serve. Who they could be.

    We watched as you tried to find fulfillment.

    We watched you establish the Invictus Games, so many charities, and help so many gain purpose back in their lives, when you were still struggling to find your own .

    We watched as you, finally, found someone warm, caring, happy….someone who, like your mother, wasn’t afraid to show you love and affection in public. She loved you, and she didn’t care who knew it or what people thought.

    We watched the press pick her apart.

    We watched you hate them for it.

    We watched you become a husband infront of millions. A much happier man.

    We watched you become a father, and saw how proud you were of your wife and son.

    We watched you protect with everything you have – your own little family. We know why: we saw what happened to your mother. We saw. The media is a cruel, heartless beast.

    We watched as you found your calling. You found who you are. You found more of Harry. And less of the Prince.

    We watched you smile again. A beaming smile. Holding your baby. Holding your wife’s hand.

    We watched you be brave. So brave.

    You’ve given us enough.

    You owe us no explanation.

    We watched as you got a taste of a more fulfilling, quieter, healthier life.

    We watched you shock the world by admitting that, yes, you just wanted to live it.

    As Harry. Meghan. And Archie.

    We watched you say, Prince or not- I am also a father, a husband, and a man. Let me be one.

    And so …

    We will be watching, proudly, as you go off to start your new chapter. You won’t lose us.

    We will be watching, relieved, as you finally get to live your days as YOU choose to. That little boy, with his head down, in his big suit, walking behind his mother’s dead body – that little boy who has had to rebuild his world, do his ‘royal’ duties, and have his mental health dragged through the mud ever since.

    We will be watching – as much as YOU decide we can – intrigued as to what you will get up to. Where you’ll be. What. Who.

    Go …. be strong.

    Go …. be happy.

    Go…. Be….You.

    We will be watching.

    And so will she ♥️ xxxx

    ©Mummy Mumbles 2020

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/mummymumbles/

     

  • Why Do We Need A Black Breastfeeding Week?

    Why do we need a black breasfeeding week?

    Reason 1)

    You were afraid to nurse your young

    lest fallen breast offend your master’s sight and he should flee to firmer loveliness.

    And so you passed them, your children, on to me.

    Flesh that was your flesh and blood

    that was your blood drank the sustenance of life from me.

    And as I gave suckle I knew I nursed my own child’s enemy.

    I could have lied,

    told you your child was fed till it was dead of hunger.

    But I could not find the heart to kill orphaned innocence.

    For as it fed, it smiled and burped and gurgled with content

    and as for color knew no difference.

    Yes, in that first while

    I kept your sons and daughters alive.

    But when they grew strong in blood

    and bone that was of my milk

    you taught them to hate me.

    Put your decay in their hearts and upon their lips so that strength that was of myself

    turned and spat upon me,

    despoiled my daughters, and killed my sons.

    You know I speak true.

    Though this is not true for all of you.

  • I Don’t Know How To Love The Way I Look

    I don’t know how to love the way I look.

    People say I’m negative about me but I think I’m just honest. I don’t like the way I look. My friends tell me I’m beautiful but do you really see ugly in people you care about?

    Would you ever tell someone you loved that their eyes were too small, nose too big, breasts too saggy, bum too big? I wouldn’t I don’t see any imperfections in someone I love but I see them in myself and when I’m honest about my looks and personality I’m told to shut up or to stop being negative but I don’t know how.

    I’ve always been told that I’m fat, im ugly, im dumb, im boring etc so when I’ve finally got good people I care about and who care about me with no agenda other than they like me I can’t feel better about me. I don’t feel I have someone who can help me see me in a better light or can help me learn to style my hair better or learn the elusive trick to give myself an eyeliner flick no matter how many YouTube videos I watch because I feel like my friends are bored with my attitude but I don’t know how to change it.

    I don’t have any self-confidence that got taken away from me a long time ago. I truly believe I will always be the ugly fat friend. If you have a friend like me please don’t brush off how they feel or tell them to shut up help them. Help them with clothes and make up help them to see how beautiful they really are. Help them to see that actually they are perfect. 

  • I’m A Mum Who Doesn’t Like Children

    Anyone else a Mum that does not really like kids? Everyone falls over in shock when I say this, so let me clarify.

    I love my three kids dearly, and a handful of my friend’s kids, but as a general rule, no, I do not really like children.

    Having extra kids over my house stresses me out. They are super needy, messy and get on my nerves the entire time, it seems to me that other people’s children seem to be louder, ruder and far more annoying than my own flesh and blood.

    I prefer the company of adults. I love mine and I enjoy watching them grow up, but I can also tell them when they are being little assholes and to knock it off. I can’t tell your kids that, also my kids know my look, you know the special mum look that says pack it in or you’re in trouble.

    I do not have sympathy for the mother whose child is having a tantrum in the shop, I tend to tut and move away, I do not judge the mothers parenting but my god are the screams of your damn child annoying, please take it home.

    When I dine out I pick a table as far away from children as possible and will happily move tables if a young family sits near by.

    It’s not that I hate children, I just don’t want to look after others kids or spend any time with them, I do not coo over babies and don’t find it cute or funny when a child pulls a face at me.

    Surely I cannot be the only mum who only likes their own children, I love my trio and enjoy watching them grow, but keep your kids away from me, thanks very much

  • Pregnancy Sucks Balls I’m Not Ashamed To Hate It All

    The next person to ask me if I’m ‘excited for newborn cuddles’ or I bet you can’t wait to show your baby off is going to get kicked in the mouth, I don’t plan on winning no mum of the year awards, I will love her and will be there for her no matter what, but being pregnant sucks balls.

    Yes I am excited to have a baby, but who gets butterflies in their stomach knowing they are going to push a crotch fruit out of your tuna taco.

    What I am excited to do is sleep on my belly again, to be able to roll over with ease, I’m excited to drink gallons of wine again, when ever I damn well choose.

    I’m excited to not piss myself every time I try to sneeze, I’m excited to not be a hormonal mess who cries at the hunger games or an advert for an animal rescue shelter, I’m excited to go out out and shake my little arse in a club again. I’m excited to not have heart burn every minute of every bastard day. I can’t wait to never have random people stroking my stomach like it brings them good luck or some shit. I can’t wait to run, and I mean run, this duck waddle is not a good look.

    I want people to ask about ME, ask me about my job, my life and not keep asking “you not had it yet” or the oh so funny “are you sure you’ve got only one in there”.

    But yeah hun I can’t wait to push a baby out my lady hole, to bleed for weeks and to be in pain!!! Yay how exciting

  • I Should Of Stopped At One Child- I Wish I Could Turn Back Time

    I Should Of Stopped At One Child

    I am 33 years old and a mum to four children Sean 11, Saul, 8, Poppy May 6 and Lily Rae 3 I do not enjoy being a mum at all, I mean I used to.

    When it was just Sean and I it was easy I enjoyed watching him grow, tucking him in and giving him my undivided attention and being his mummy but that all changed when Saul came along.

    With each child I loath being a mother more and more, I feel all I do is yell at them and my husband, I’m forever tired and there is no enjoyment in raising four children, I am not me anymore, I have changed into a person I do not like.

    Don’t get my wrong I love them all and would never see any harm come to them but if I could turn back time I would not have any children after Sean, I don’t know why i thought having more children was a good idea, I was perfect the way it was.

    I used to be a fantastic, loving mother and now I dread the children waking up, the moans, the arguing and the constant want, want, want, the tears, the tantrums, the fact that they can’t be in the same room together without a fight or someone crying.

    Poor Sean is often left out as the younger children are so needy and crave so much attention from me, I feel we have lost our bond, he is like a stranger in my house, I try to include him and make time for him but it is never enough.

    I wish someone had told me how guilty I would feel with having so many children and how no matter how hard I try I can never give everyone equal love and attention.

    I am burnt out, I am fed up and I truly wish I’d only had my eldest son, please don’t think badly of me I cannot help how I feel, I hope as they get older it will get easier but for now i guess I have to suck it up and continue with this life

  • Someone Please Take My Daughter Away

    Someone please take my daughter away

    I hate my daughter and I really mean it, Kirsty is 14 years old and a bleeding nightmare, she was diagnosed with ADHD 8 years ago although I don’t believe it’s an actual medical condition it’s just her being a brat.

    Kirsty and I live with my mother, Kirsty is a demon she punches, bites, swears like a drunken sailor and does nothing that she is asked to do, she constantly talks back, is rude and genuinely is not a nice person!

    She skips school, smokes, drinks and is sexually active with any boy she can get her hands on, I can’t cope with her at all.

    The school, social services and police are all involved and I’ve expressed that I don’t want her anymore yet my mum has now taken over legal responsibility for her, which means I still have to live with it!

    I am actively looking for somewhere else to live but on my income it seems impossible, I can’t wait til Kirsty grows up and moves away, all the love I used to have for her has gone and just resentment, fear and pain remains.

    This girl is not the child I loved all those years ago I am left with an ungrateful, nasty, disrespectful brat, my mum is just as bad to stand by her, she ultimately has chosen a nasty, manipulative, rude girl over her hard-working loving daughter.

    Kirsty will never amount to anything she will either be pregnant young and waste her life or more than likely have it taken away from her, I would not be surprised if she ended up in prison, she is the type of person that I would cross the street to avoid she has no hope, just a life of disaster and pain is in her future.

    Don’t tell me I’m an awful person to say this about my own daughter but you do not know her you do not see the pain she causes me, does anyone know a way to take the custody away from my mother or a way to have her removed from the house?

    Emailed in by Destiny (surname is to remain anonymous)

  • I Hated My Step Son Until I Had My Own Child

    I hated my step son, I mean I fed him and bathed him and never saw he come to any harm but he annoyed me so much I dreaded him coming over, I just found him so irritating and wished he never visited.

    Marcus was only four years old when I met him and I was a 21-year-old woman who had no interest in children, never wanting to hold babies or cooed over them, I didn’t dislike kids they just didn’t appeal to me.

    I loved my boyfriend and thought having a step child wouldn’t be too much of an inconvenience, I mean how hard could a 4-year-old be?.

    BUT…

    Why when I’ve spent 2 hours cooking a delicious roast didn’t he eat it, why when we’ve taken him to the zoo and bought him an ice cream is he still moaning, why doesn’t he listen? why does he whine all the time, this kid is never satisfied always wanting more and more.

    Christmas Eve he had loads of presents but wasn’t interested in anything other than one cheap car.

    I was constantly nagging my partner about his son, why was he such a brat?

    Oh how much guilt I feel now! I had my first child and felt love I had never known before, Sophie changed my views, she cried, she moaned she had normal tantrums, I saw my step son in another light.

    He wasn’t a brat, he wasn’t ungrateful he was a little boy and he was behaving like every child out there, I was the brat, I was the one who had no clue on children.

    I recall sitting on my bed sobbing thinking what a huge bitch I had been, the next weekend when my step son come over I was gentle, I was kind and felt love for this innocent boy.

    Having my own child made me a far better step mum, I love both Marcus and Sophie and regret the way I was they are both nearly adults now and I am proud to be a huge part of Marcus’s life, I want other woman out there who are put into ready-made families to step back and look at themselves, spend time with the child and build a bond, love may not come over night nor will understanding but give it time and hopefully it will come.

  • Mental Illness Affects My Relationships

    I suffer from depression and anxiety. My anxiety is usually spurred on by a ‘dark’ mood. Let me start by saying, I don’t have suicidal thoughts, I never have & I hopefully never will. My depression takes me to other places. Simple things like relationships and friendships become so trivial, so complicated.

    In my brain it doesn’t sit right, something seems different. I notice little differences that ‘normal’ people wouldn’t notice.

    That comment you didn’t tag me in, but you tagged other people? I saw that, why didn’t you tag me? What’s up with me?

    You read that message, I saw you did, but you didn’t reply.. why didn’t you reply? Have I done something to upset you?

    You didn’t say I love you on the phone.. do you not love me anymore? Do you love someone else instead?

    They just made a comment about me. Was it a joke? Was I supposed to laugh? Or do they mean it? Are they being nice? Are they talking about me? Do they talk about me? I bet they hate me.

    Am I doing this right? Is this what a mum should do? What if this is wrong. Oh god. What if someone reports me. What if they take my kids. Should I hide? Should I leave. I’m a bad mum. I can’t do this.

    Am I good enough? Should I just run away and hide?

    And for all those questions I will spend hours trying to answer. Let it all build up in my mind, until it sends me to tears…… it’s mental that isn’t it. That I see things that way. Some call it psycho but what it really is.. is a mental illness.

    It’s not only mental changes, but physical changes. I eat a lot, mainly rubbish, because I need it now and I need the energy from lack of sleep. Insomnia, up all night answering questions to situations that don’t even exists.

    I know when I start to feel this way or think this way, I need help.

    I know that when my behaviour starts to change, I need guidance.

    And I understand that I don’t need to be ashamed. I don’t need to be understood. I just need to be accepted. Everyone is fighting a battle and sometimes you need to be kinder.

    Don’t suffer in silence.