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@_cnmx
I still need you, mom #griefjourney #grief #grieftok #griefandloss #griefsupport #losingaparent #motherlessdaughter
@_cnmx I still need you, mom #griefjourney #grief #grieftok #griefandloss #griefsupport #losingaparent #motherlessdaughter
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@ionalouisedolan
I will miss you forever mum 🪽 #missyou #grief #mother #angelmother #motherlessdaughter
@ionalouisedolan I will miss you forever mum 🪽 #missyou #grief #mother #angelmother #motherlessdaughter
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Tiktok by Iona Louise
This picture breaks me each and every time I share it. Jemma wasnt a first time mum Sydney-may was her 7th child.
She had bed shared with all of her other babies and they had all been absolutely fine. They were all healthy and no problems.
Sadly Sydney-may died bed sharing at 3 months old cause of death was sudden death no reason no cause found. Her amazing mummy never knew the dangers she followed safety she thought having her baby close was safe as I said she had bed shared with all her other babies and not once had an issue why never once crossed her mind something would or could happen .
Here you see a mother clutching her deceased baby girl who is cold and sadly she is starting to change . Her mummy saw her each day till her funeral. Can you see that raw emotion the pain the heartbreak? This is what you all risk EVERY single time you bed share . Guidelines that people go on about dont make it safe that just make it safer. They don’t mean it’s ok to do they were created for those who refuse to be educated.
Each time you place baby in bed instantly you increase their risk by 5 time until 3 months then 3 times. Those risks are also when you are actually following the guidelines and doing bed sharing as safe as possible . Did you know babies have no cartilage in their nose ? Meaning if the are by mum dad an nose pressed on their arm shoulder they will die their airway will he cut off babie are nose breathers. They rarely mouth breathing meaning when nose is restricted their oxygen soon plummets and they suffocate .
Please please take a long look at this picture remember it every single time you think of placing baby in your bed for just an hr more sleep or to get any sleep . Babies are hard work NOBODY denies this but please dont risk their life for sleep. Or because you think bed sharing is better easier you are attachment parenting no matter the reason remember this picture remember her pain .
She is an amazing mummy who’s raised absolutely thousand tens of thousands for different causes in her babies name her legacy , monitors headstones presents for less fortunate thousands for a baby fighting cancer thousands on difibulator and so much more has and amazing raffle page win £1k sometimes and best also is if you dont like the prize on offer then you can choose to take money equivalent all profit 100% goes to the trust .
Sydney-May saving lives through her legacy and helping give other babies the headstones they rightly deserve proud to know her mummy proud of all she does ❤❤❤❤
Whether you lost your baby at 6 weeks.
Whether you lost your baby at 12 weeks.
Whether you lost your baby at 16 weeks.
Whether you lost your baby at 20 weeks.
Whether it is your first loss.
Whether it is your second loss.
Whether it is your third loss.
Whether is is your fourth loss.
Whether you have not had a child.
Whether you already have a child.
Whether you have two children.
Whether you have three children or more.
Whether you lost your baby in your teens.
Whether you lost your baby in your twenties.
Whether you lost your baby in your thirties.
Whether you lost your baby in your forties.
Whether you lost your baby through ivf.
Whether you lost your baby through unplanned pregnancy.
Whether you lost your baby through planned pregnancy.
Whether you lost your baby through surrogacy.
Your pregnancy loss matters.
Your grief matters.
Your tears matter.
You matter.
❤ 🕊 ❤ #ShareInMemory ❤ 🕊 ❤
This photograph shows me with my beautiful children ~ Matthew 12, Lucy 10 and their little brother Peter 2. My world, my joy, my life.
The photograph was taken from a film that was found in Matthew’s camera after he died. I don’t remember it being taken, but I have calculated it to be about 2 weeks before Matthew and Lucy were killed by a drunk driver in a road traffic accident.
They went to a football match with their dad one Summer evening in July 1996, and never came home. The drunk driver hit the car they were in head-on. Matthew died instantly, and Lucy 3 hours later in surgery. Their friend Ben, died 6 days later in hospital. Their father was horribly injured but survived the accident… well, physically anyway, as memories never die. The drunk driver was pronounced dead at the scene. My mum always said that he got away lightly.
In the few seconds that it took to veer off his side of the road, that drunk driver smashed our world into tiny pieces.
Little brother Peter’s grief and confusion regarding his siblings ‘disappearance’ was immense. You can only tell a 2 year old the very basics, but the fact that he stopped talking for weeks, and carried around for months a little car that Matthew had given him that day, often watching and waiting at the window, told of his pain.
The next time I saw my dear, beautiful children was in 2 coffins side by side in the Chapel of Rest. The shock took away my ability to stand. How we managed to get through the funeral I will never know, but the many friends, family and schoolchildren that attended helped to give us strength.
The inquest 5 months later told of a wealthy, upstanding Plymouth businessman, who was generous towards charities with his time and money, but who had a longstanding penchant for drinking and driving, ignoring all warnings regarding the danger he was causing. He was 3.5 times over the drink driving limit when he got in his car. If only someone had taken his keys away that night….
Life became very quiet, all the energy was sucked out of the house where once my children had laughed and lived. I held tight to my sanity only for my little boy, and we grieved together, and in our own way. It took Peter years to put together the pieces of the puzzle ~ as his intellect grew, so did his curiosity for the facts. He was 15 when he read all the newspaper articles about the accident and finally found his peace.
It is a mistake to think that you can never be happy again ~ you can but in a different way, in a different world. I gave birth to baby Eliza 14 months after we lost Matthew and Lucy, and she brought joy and hope into our bleak world again.
I laugh and cry, and experience life and have watched my children grow into wonderful, confident adults, and I glow with pride and wonder at how blessed I am.
But Matthew and Lucy remain in our lives, in our thoughts and our hearts. Always loved, never forgotten.
Today would have been Lucy’s 34th birthday, and she will be remembered with such pride. Through the tears that will inevitably flow, I will smile at her memories and tell her how much she is loved. It is all I can do.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE. Please do not put another family through this grief. Please do not be the cause of a lifetime of sorrow.
AND DON’T BE STUPID ENOUGH TO THINK IT WON’T HAPPEN TO YOU. It happened to us. It happened to my beautiful children. It can happen to anyone.
Designate a driver, take a taxi, walk to the party.
Thank you for reading my post. Please share and help to save some lives, if only 1 or 2 people make a different choice, it will all be worth it.
And have a blessed and safe Christmas❤️
Credit https://www.facebook.com/sarahjane.hudson.5
I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying you found it hard to sleep.
I spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
“It’s me, I haven’t left you, I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many things and memories of me.
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I’m not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my hand on you; I smiled and said, “it’s me.”
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It’s possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, “I never went away.”
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew…
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over… I smile and watch you yawning
and say “good-night, God bless, I’ll see you in the morning.”
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I’ll rush across to greet you and we’ll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out…then come home to me.
Author Unknown
This photo was not taken days, weeks or months after my son died. It wasn’t taken within the first year after his death.
It was taken today. Over 2.5 years later.
This is grief. It doesn’t expire or come with an end date. It cuts through your heart and seeps to the deepest spaces where it will reside for a lifetime.
Holding your child’s lifeless body one last time…your brain trying to process the unimaginable while your heart is trying to memorize every detail of their face, their hands, their scent. This moment will never be erased from the memory. This is an image carried forever. It shows up unexpectedly and unannounced. Year, after year, after year.
We all have what we call “our season”. For those who have never experienced losing a child, their season is a favorite time of year because it’s their choice weather, carries their interest of activities, they enjoy the smell in the air or look forward to a special holiday.
When a child loss parent mentions their “season” it is much different.
Our season does not make us excited. It is something we dread instead of look forward to. It is a time period we want to skip. Put us in a coma and wake us when it’s over. Our season comes with onset anxiety and PTSD. The smells and temperature of our season remind us of birthdays that will never happen, the memories of our sweet angels when they were with us on earth and the worst day of our lives.
During our season it takes everything out of us to keep going. We are emotionally exhausted. We are distant to everyone in our lives. We do not always respond to texts, emails or answer calls because it’s too much right now. We stay in more, declining invites we would normally say yes to. We don’t have the energy to fake the smile and pretend life is great. We are forgetful and unreliable.
Our season is full of broken dreams and questions we will never have the answers to. The what if’s, what would they look like, what would they be doing now.
Each year we have hope the next one will be easier. But it isn’t. It’s always the same, it’s always hard.
When our season passes a weight is lifted and we catch our breath thankful it is over. Shocked we survived once again.
If you know someone going through this be patient and kind. Expect nothing from them. If they cancel plans at the last minute do not be angry with them. Don’t take their actions (or lack of actions) personally. It‘s not you. They are using every ounce of strength they have to find their way through the darkness and back to the light. This is exhausting and they don’t have the energy for anything else.
My season begins very soon. You could say I am in the pre-season phase…I feel it coming. Almost a month away from what would have been a 3rd birthday. Thinking about it knocked me to my knees today, the anxiety suffocating.
But there is a difference between this year and last year, and the one before. This time I know it’s not going to be easier. This year I am accepting it and not fighting it. I know what’s coming. I know what it does to me. I have learned and understand what my limitations are during this timeframe of my life.
I am going to stand still allowing it to hit with full force, a tidal wave crashing into me. As I lose my balance I will fall. I‘ll let the wave of grief wash over every inch of my body and hold my breath until it’s over.
When it has passed I will rise. I‘ll stare at the sun setting in the horizon and remind myself, it hurts this much because you love him so much. I wouldn’t trade that love for anything. Not even to take away this pain.
#spacesbetweenyou #childloss #ourseason #knoxowen
Credit https://www.facebook.com/spacesbetweenyou/
Fostering – “I could never do that”
One of if not THE most common phrases I’ve heard when the topic of foster care comes up. It’s usually followed with “it would break my heart” or “I would get too attached” I know a lot of people don’t really know what foster care is and I understand where that comment is coming from but I want to say something: THAT IS LITERALLY THE POINT.
Looking at the picture below you might see a Mama rocking her child to sleep, but you’re wrong, that’s not what’s going on. I wish you could hear this picture. You see, this is a picture of the gospel alive and breathing in my living room, because what you don’t see are the 12 other people that were in the room the moment this picture was taken.
You can’t hear the prayers of healing & restoration being spoken over this traumatized baby & you can’t feel the power of worship, the sacrifice of praise that was surrounding him with a peace so sweet that he crawled into my arms and fell asleep. This isn’t a picture of a Mama with her baby. This is a picture of the church rising up and taking responsibility for innocent life beyond the womb. Will we get attached? Yes. Will it be hard? Absolutely. Will we grieve? Yes.
But foster care isn’t for people who won’t get attached & won’t grieve…it’s for the people who will. Because that is what this and every child who is a victim of insufficient care needs- someone who will get attached, to love them like their own, and yes…someone who will grieve. The church needs to understand this-we aren’t called to attend services once a week and sing a few songs, try our best, pay our taxes and go to heaven when we die…that’s not the gospel.
The gospel is NOW. Jesus’s message was, “The kingdom of God is here!” If you have a heart for the hurting and a passion to stand in the gap and advocate for the needy, but you’re afraid you “could never do that” I want you to think about where that fear is coming from…it’s the enemy’s plan to stop the kingdom of God from manifesting on the earth today- he uses fear to do it and it is rendering the church useless in our community. Don’t be afraid to grieve, be afraid of what will happen to these children if we don’t lay our lives down to love them. ❤️
Alyssa short