Tag: child
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I Miss You Every Day, I Miss What You Would Be
I do not need a day on a calendar to tell me when to miss you because I miss you every day, birthdays, Christmas and the day you grew your wings are hard but so is sitting here right now wishing you were by my side..
Every now and again the thought will just creep up out of nowhere and hit me and I’m reminded of all the things we have missed.
All the things we do on a daily basis that we don’t really give much thought about, milestones in your life that you never got to reach.
Seeing children playing that are similar to the age you should be, wondering what would have been your favourite game, would you have been popular, funny or kind.
Everyday is hard but some are harder than others like today really hit me, there is no escaping it, with every firework lighting up the sky, every bang, every crackle just hits me, you should be sat on my shoulders watching it with your family but you aren’t here with me. That was the last time we were a full family.
I know people say time heals but that’s a lie it doesn’t, time just teaches us to “deal with it” some days I’m better at it than others and some days I’m a complete mess. I will never get over losing you, I will just learn to live with it. I can’t change it, but if I could I would give anything just to have you home with us where you belong.
Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying, or when a child is facing bereavement, don’t hesitate to give them a call if you need someone to talk to, Ring 08000288840
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The Sad Reality Of A Child With Food Allergies
The sad reality of allergies/ intolerance’s. Behind all the smiling photos, fun days out and snuggles under the duvet watching their favourite film are the real feeling of fear, pain & illness.
To often we post the proud pictures of our children with big smiles & it’s all to easy to forget how they really feel.
That big smiley picture I posted on social media this morning of my fun-loving chap soon wore away as the day went on, being replaced slowly by stomach cramps, abdo pain & diarrhoea. The tears came & again the feeling of “why me”all because he put his hand near on his mouth after traveling on a train.
My son is allergic to nuts, wheat, glucose and lactose intolerant, we have to be very very careful of what he eats and how it is prepared, even a bread crumb can cause pain and discomfort.
The slightest wrong food can cause an awful night of toilet runs & overall a feeling of sadness and yes even children can feel depression. So the next time you see a child that can’t have something don’t just think ” oh they should be used to it by now” because they may put on a smile but inside they do cry, they do sometimes need a hug & they do feel hurt at their difference to everyone else.
Birthday parties are awful for my son to attend, we have to take a packed lunch which my son is fine with, but seeing all his friends eating cake, pizza and all these bright coloured exciting food makes him sad, we have to ensure he never puts his hand near his mouth as like ive said the slightest crumb causes havoc with his health.
It really is a sad reality that a 5-year-old child is fearful of everything in case he becomes ill, the last thing he needs is hearing people say “surely he will grow out of it” or “maybe try a little bit at a time and increasing his intake” allergies can not only be deadly but also soul-destroying and depressing
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Halloween Sweets, Warning To Parents
This post is not for attention it’s for safety!!!!
I Didn’t really want to put this on Facebook or other media outlets but after what I went through today I never want any parent to ever have to go through what I did , you think giving your child a lollipop is ok you don’t really second think it, well please do!! tonight my wee ariah was eating a lollipop minding her own business sitting watching tv and in a second she got of the couch and flung herself to the floor and luckily I saw what was happening in so much silence.
Halloween Sweets, Warning To Parents She was struggling to breathe her skin colour started to change! this lollipop had come off of the stick and got stuck in the back of her throat and for about 3/4minutes I had the worst thoughts going round in my head, luckily I got the lolly free but please do not give your child these lollipops! Wee ariah is on 24hr call for look out for ABC,
you never think it’ll happen to your child but tonight it did to mine! I had potentially saved my little girls life Full credit Shannon McWilliams
It is advised to always supervise children when they are eating anything, always ensure Halloween sweets or any treats are kept out of a childs reach and only eaten when you are able to be with them.
Please view the video below to show how to save a choking baby, video made by the British red cross
<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/ePodw7L_mFM” frameborder=”0″ allow=”autoplay; encrypted-media” allowfullscreen></iframe>
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Boyfriend Wants Us To Be Poly-Advice Needed
Boyfriend wants to be poly because he already has feeling for someone else. We just had a baby.
My boyfriend and I have been a monogamous couple for 12 years. I knew that he was interested in polygamous but he never pursued it because I did not think I would be able to cope with all my insecurities.
Last month my boyfriend told me that he has develop some strong feelings for a coworker (his employee actually) and he did not want to dismiss them this time.
surprisingly, I reacted rather well. I know that he loves me and that he doesn’t want to hurt me. I do not feel that my relationship is threatened by this other woman. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I want him to be happy and I will try very hard to accept his other girlfriend. I have already read some literature on the subject that helped me grow a lot. We are working hard on my insecurities.
The thing is we just had a baby, she is 5 months old.
We talk a lot about agreements that I would feel comfortable with. He can see her 2 nights per week and lunch with her once a week.
I do want to be the strong and positive woman but I can’t help but feel betrayed and abandoned when I am home taking care of our baby girl while he is out having fun and intimate moments with his other girlfriend. Will this feeling ever go away?! Should I work on that or is it normal to feel this way?
I feel the situation is really unfair because I too would like to go out and meet new people but it is actually impossible with our baby right now. I feel like I would like for him to wait untill our daughter is older so I can have more freedom. But at the same time, he already has feeling for someone and I would feel bad asking him to end it.
Also, I feel ashamed the way our polygamous adventure began because it feels as though he forced it on me at a very bad timing in our life.
I have no one in my entourage to speak to who I feel won’t judge us.
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Give This Boy One More Chance At Life
On the 1st of February we got told our baby boy had a tumor in his liver. We knew nothing more till he had his biopsy on the 5th. When his results came back it was heartbreaking to listen to.. All 4 sections of his liver had been taken over and they also found it had spread to both lungs. The scan images was the hardest. Seeing this cancer taking up so much of his tiny body!!
He got diagnosed with Hepatoblastoma stage IV. -Hepatoblastoma is a rare tumor that usually occurs in children under 3 and only about 8 children are diagnosed in the UK each year. There are stages I, II, III & IV. Unfortunately Charlie is stage IV which means it’s took over his liver and spread to both his lungs, because of this he will need a liver transplant, but they can’t do this until the cancer in both lungs goes, otherwise it will just spread again to his new liver.
The chemotherapy treatment he’s on is to hopefully clear the cancer in his lungs and shrink the tumor in his liver. He has a scan in Leeds on 5.4.16 which will tell us how he’s responding to the chemo and how ready he might be for his liver transplant. Until then and also after his transplant he carries on with all his treatment as normal (chemotherapy, blood transfusions, platelet transfusions etc) even though he seems happy in himself his survival rate is still only 20%-60%.
We as parents left work to spend as much time as we can with him, but this has meant we have a really low income with hardly no financial support. I’m due to have our 2nd child on the 25.05.16 and Charlie’s 3rd birthday is on the 24.04.16 and we want to make it a very special one so money at the moment is a stress we don’t need. We are coping with what we get but as for weekends away and trips to the zoo etc in between his treatments is a struggle. The money donated isn’t for any treatment as his treatment is on the NHS it’s is literally just for him, and us as a family to make memories.**- wrote before treatment abroad was needed *****
Charlie’s memorise is now raising for private treatment abroad to give him a chance of life.
For Charlie to travel to be given a second chance will cost $1.1 million. Which is approximately£855,580.00 in UK pound.
Please help our baby boy live.
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A Story From A Child In Foster Care
Life has been a bit not nice for me. I’ve not been the best bear I could be and things have been scary. My tummy bubbles have been very very big, my legs have done lots of running, my hands lots of hurting and my mouth saying not nice stuff.
It’s been the summer holidays. I like the holidays usually as I get to do lots and lots of fun stuff with Kim and the others. We have been doing nice stuff and I have had some fun but there’s been something else happening for me as well. Something not fun. Not nice. Something I didn’t know what to do with.
I still see mummy and my brothers. We have contact. Sometimes mummy doesn’t come and then I feel sad because I think she doesn’t like me anymore or she’s poorly – she used to get poorly a lot when she had her friends round and they did drinking and some other bad stuff and fighting. Mummy has been coming to contact in the summer and in the holidays we get to spend longer with her. We go to the family centre with the big garden. Sometimes me and mummy can talk by ourselves when the supervisor is on the other side of the garden.
We was playing football with my brothers. Then they wanted to go on the climbing frame. I was too hot so sat on the grass. Mummy sat with me. I thought it was going to be lovely to be with her but then she said it. Mummy said I was going to live back at home with her. She was going to court to get me back. She was going to tell them that the social
workers was telling lies. That I had been telling lies about the man in my room. And because I was a liar Kim didn’t want me living in her house so that’s the plan. I am going to live back with mummy as soon as the court says so BUT I mustn’t tell anyone because social will make up more lies.
All my happy went in that minute. Every thing changed for me. I’ve been living with Kim for a fair time now and really loved it there. I always felt safe there. I always had food and toys and clothes and my comfy bed. And I was a big enough bear now to know I didn’t get that at mummy’s. My world was like a big balloon that had just gone pop.
I went back to Kim’s from contact. It was Kims now, not home. Mummy’s was going to be home, a home I feared, a home full of noise and mess. A home without lights, cold, dirty. A home with no clean clothes, no nice comfy bed, no toys. The place I had come from. Somewhere I didn’t want to go back to. They’d told me I wouldn’t have to go back there. Kim. The court people. The social worker. Mummy was right. They had been telling lies. They said I wasn’t going home and mummy said I am when she’s been to court. I had to show them this little bear knew they were lying.
And show them I did. I was cross. I did everything I could think of to show them what happens when this little bear wasn’t happy. I ran away. I broke things. I kicked Kim. I tore my books up. I started to swear again. If they’d lied to me I’d lie back. I told them it wasn’t me that put the remote in the toilet. I told them it wasn’t me that wrote swear words on the wall. I told them I hated them. That was my biggest lie. Inside I didn’t hate them. I loved them but couldn’t understand why they’d lied to me and why I was having to go back to mummy’s house.
I carried on like this for a good while. I was going to take charge here and make them hate me like I hated them. My comfy bed was next. I cut my duvet. Cut my pillow. I wasn’t having a comfy bed at mummy’s house so I needed to remember what it was like not having one. I’d better get used to it. Kim caught me. Scissors in hand and cut pillow by my side. I wasn’t prepared for what happened next.
Did the shouting come? No. Did the beating come? No. Did the throwing things around the room come? No. Did the threat of no dinners come? No. Did the hitting of walls or door come? No. Did the being called all the horrid names on the planet start? No. Did the pushing and shoving start? No. No they didn’t. That’s what happens at mummy’s house not Kim’s.
Did I start to feel really scared? No. Did I wet myself in fear? No. Did I throw the scissors? No. Did I shout and swear? No. Did I try to run? No. Did I cower in the corner? No. They were things that happened in mummy’s house too. So now I’m really really confused. They want to take me away from my safe place to put me back in mummy’s house. How can that be an okay thing to do?
And do you know? I think Kim could see what I was feeling inside. I think she could see I was angry about things – she didn’t know what. But more so I think she could see that underneath this cross angry bear face who said he hated everyone, there was a little bear who felt so frightened, confused and lonely and in desperate need of a tight squeezy hug. A little bear who had so much to say but not the words to say it. A little bear whose world had drastically changed by those few words from his mummy’s mouth – you’re coming back home.
Kim sat next to me and took the scissors from my hand. I leant into her like I do when I need a hug and she cuddled me. She cuddled me so tight I knew I was safe. And then I cried. I cried and cried and cried. And then I told her what mummy said. And do you know as I was telling Kim I knew it was mummy that wasn’t telling me the right things. I’ve grown enough to know what happened at home wasn’t how little bears are meant to live. But after all I’d done these last few weeks maybe that was how I deserved to live?
Kim just held me and let me cry away. I talked and talked in my crying. I don’t know how Kim could understand me but she did. When I was all cried out Kim talked back to me. She told me that she felt mummy had got things a bit muddled. How Kim and the social workers hadn’t lied to me. That I wasn’t going to go back to live at mummy’s. Kim and the police and everyone knew I wasn’t lying about the man in my room. They’d all seen what mummy’s house was like. My brothers had all said the same thing and they did believe us. Kim does want me to live with her till I’m a grown up bear. She was sorry that mummy had made me so very scared and mummy was wrong to say such things. My social worker came out to see me and told me just the same as Kim. That helped calm my tummy bubbles big time! They are going to talk to mummy about it and how it made me feel. They said sometimes mummies will say these things to stop themselves feeling so bad but they don’t think how it makes the children feel. Mummy isn’t going to be in trouble which is good because I don’t want that, but they want mummy to think about what she says. Kim used to say that to me lots – I used to say unkind things but didn’t think how they made people feel, so I know what the social worker means.
I’m feeling safe again now. Happy and so so glad I’ve still got my comfy bed. Kim got me a new duvet and pillow but I did have to use some of my money to help buy it. I don’t mind. Because I know when I say home it’s where I live now and that’s just how I like it!
#bearincare
#fosteringchangeslives
www.essexadoptionandfostering.co.uk/fostering
Full credit: https://www.facebook.com/Robbie-a-bear-in-foster-care-his-story
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Dear Teacher Please Look After My Baby
Dear teacher
I know you’re rather busy
First day back, there’s just no time
A whole new class of little ones
And this one here is mine
I’m sure you have things covered
And have done this lots before
But my girl is very little
She hasn’t long turned four
In her uniform this morning
She looked so tall and steady
But now beside your great big school
I’m not quite sure she’s ready
Do you help them eat their lunch?
Are you quick to soothe their fears?
And if she falls and hurts his knee
Will someone dry her tears?
And what if no-one plays with her?
What if someone’s mean?
What if two kids have a fight
And she’s caught in between?
You’re right, I have to leave now
It’s time for her to go
I’m sure she’ll learn so much from you
Things that I don’t know
Yes, I’m sure they settle quickly
That she’s fine now without me
I know she has to go to school
It’s just so fast, you see
It seems like just a blink ago
I first held her in my arms
It’s been my job to love, to teach
To keep her safe from harm
So, when I wave goodbye in a moment
And she turns to walk inside
Forgive me if I crumple
Into tears of loss and pride
I know as I give her one more kiss
And watch her walk away,
That she’ll never again be wholly mine
As she was before today.
Original source unknown
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My Child My Rights I Can See Him Very Little Or Very Often
I’ve not had my baby for six months. I left him with my Mum. She’s a great Mum and takes care of all his needs. He loves being with her too.
I wasn’t happy being a parent, I just didn’t feel fulfilled. I met Pete and we were in a new relationship, going out, drinking, socializing, all the fun stuff I didn’t get to do when I was a mother. The relationship isn’t in the ‘honeymoon’ period anymore though and I’m ready to have him back. ITS MY RIGHT. I haven’t had much to do with the baby but I’m sure he remembers me. I’m his mother and that’s what matters most. I GET THE FINAL SAY WHEN AND WHERE I SEE HIM, MY CHILD MY RIGHT.
Of course that is NOT true. But how many people were shocked at the idea of a mother walking out on her baby? Now ask yourself why you don’t feel shocked when a father does the same?
EVERY parent MALE or FEMALE needs to step up to their responsibilities. If you walk out on a child it IS NOT YOUR RIGHT to have them whenever you want. Children are not possessions. They are not something you can have whenever it’s convenient to you. They deserve loving and stable homes. It’s not about YOUR rights it’s about THIER rights, full stop.
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The Reality Of Being A Stay At Home Carer To A Disabled Child
The reality of being a stay at home carer to a disabled child.
Of course we carers are grateful to stay at home and still have our child to look after but a carer is literally all you become.
The mental health professionals’ advice is to talk but;
Nobody talks about the isolation.
Nobody talks about the loss of identity.
Nobody talks about the loneliness.
Nobody talks about losing your sense of self.
Nobody talks about how you had to give up your life and often your job to care.
Nobody talks about how you cry in the shower out of sight of everyone else because your day was overwhelming.
NOBODY TALKS!
No one understands why you put your hand on your child’s tummy when they are asleep to make sure they are breathing.
No one understands the pressures of making sure they have all their medication and are given it at the proper times and proper dosage despite frequent changes.
No one understands the medical procedures you must learn and use daily to keep your child safe and healthy.
No one understands the scrutiny you are put under by professionals involved with your child.
No one understands why you only get 4/5 hours broken sleep every night even in the rare event your child sleeps all night.
No one understands why you’re always tired.
No one understands why you’re irritable.
No one understands why you need a mental break.
No one understands why you’re aggravated by your other children.
No one understands why you cannot take an active part in your other children’s schools.
No one understands why after you have been home all day your house is not spotless.
No one understands why you need just 5 minutes on your own.
No one understands why you’ve lost your sex drive or self-confidence to meet a partner.
No one understands why you are completely and utterly exhausted after all, you just sit at home all day.
No one understands the feeling you have when you are told you don’t have a “real job.”
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!
Most of us carers have been in employment but gave it up to take on our caring role. When we gave up our job we also gave up our social interaction with other adults outside the family home.
I cannot tell you how many people have said to me “You have too much time on your hands. I wish I could stay at home all day.” I can guarantee after walking in my shoes for a couple of weeks they would soon change their minds.
Source unknown.