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Tag: Break

  • How Dare You Complain About Being A Stay At Home Mum

    Stay at home mum (SAHM) depression….

    The elephant in the room nobody talks about

    I mean, how DARE you complain after being gifted this opportunity to stay at home and raise YOUR own kids but it’s not that simple. Of course we SAHM’s are being grateful to stay home and raise our young BUT that it’s literally all we become.

    No one talks about the isolation.

    No one talks about the loss of identity.

    No one talks about the loneliness.

    No one talks about losing your sense of self.

    No one talks about how you had to give up your career because it’s cheaper for you to stay home.

    No one talks about how you cry in the shower because your day was overwhelming.

    No one understands why you’re tired.

    No one understands why you’re irritable.

    No one understands why you need a mental break.

    No one understands why you’re so aggravated with your kids.

    No one understands why after you’ve been home all day, the house is a wreck still.

    No one understands why you just need 5 minutes with no one speaking to or touching you.

    No one understands why you’ve lost your sex drive.

    No one understands why you’re completely & utterly exhausted, after all, you just sit at home all day

    No one understands the feeling you have when you are told you don’t have a “real job”.

    Most of us were working women at one point. We got to go to a job and interact with other adults outside our home. We contributed financially to our household. (Shoot, most of us want some kind of side hustle or part time job because it would sure help with financial relief) We didn’t feel like an endless maid. We got that break away (even though yes, work is a love/ hate relationship) that gives you space from the people you live with (children, spouse… Etc) because yes, EVERY relationship needs time away in it to not go crazy being around each other 24/7. That’s not healthy. Contrary to popular belief…

    YOU NEED A BREAK  DAILY

    I can’t tell you how many women I meet or know that say “oh, you have to much time on your hands” “I sure wish I could stay home, I wouldn’t complain” good for you! I can guarantee you will change your mind 6 months in, unless you’re wealthy and have money to constantly go do things. I once was you. I wished upon a star I could stay home with my kids because I wanted to spend all the time I could. I didn’t realize what all came with being a SAHM.

    Oh but YOU chose to have those kids. YOU should’ve thought about that before having them. If you didn’t want to go through all this YOU should’ve never had kids. & YOU said you want more????

    Seriously…. Yup, heard those all before.

    Next time you hear or see a SAHM venting her frustrations, listen and make her feel like she’s somebody. That her struggles are not invalid. You know just because she don’t have a “real job”.

    Submitted by Sarah Castleford

  • I Destroyed My Relationship On Purpose

    I met David in 2013 when I was 24 years old, David was a few years older than me and had recently got out of a long relationship with the mother of her daughter.

    I was what you would call a whirl wind relationship within three months we were living together and I had never been happier, Davids little girl Evie visited every Wednesday and every other weekend she was the apple of Davids eye and such a sweet, funny, kind girl it made me so happy to have her in my life but it also made me want a child of my own.

    By the end of 2014 David and I were actively trying for a baby and it didn’t take long for me to fall pregnant, April 2015 I gave birth to my own daughter Amber.

    Evie continued to visit after the birth of Amber and loved being a big sister, but Evie’s mother became a tad jealous, she wouldn’t acknowledge Amber as Evies sister and just called her IT, soon it was harder and harder for David to see Evie, the mum would always have excuses as to why Evie couldn’t visit.

    David didn’t see Evie for months so he drove to his exs house and demanded to know why, the ex said she didn’t like me and until we split up he would not be able to see his first-born daughter.

    David and I sat down and discussed going down the legal route and fighting for Evie but we just didn’t have the money.

    I could see David was getting more and more depressed he was often angry or with drawn, he missed Evie so much, and I was the reason they were apart, I had to do something.

    I began fights for no reason, I became lazy, refused sex, I didn’t make any effort with my appearance and started going out in the evening, I was trying to push him away, I wanted him to leave me and to be able to see his baby girl.

    David couldn’t take any more of the arguing and lack of love and he left me, he still saw our daughter most days and was able to see Evie again, he now has both his daughters in his life, I have lost the love of my life but I could not sit back and see him so depressed, I loved him so much that I had to push him away.

    Some days I regret my decision because I loved him so much but he loved being a dad and now he gets to do that with both his children.

    David is the best dad i could ever ask for, I just wish his ex wasn’t such a bitter, twisted  or that court costs were lowered when children are involved. 

  • Sex Toys Ruined My Parents Marriage

    Sex Toys Ruined My Parents Marriage

    My parents are in their early fifties and have been married for 30 blissful years.

    My parents had two children, myself and brother and are now proud grandparents to three.

    To look at you would think they had the perfect life, mortgage free, a loving family, lovely holidays abroad, nice cars and enough money for my father to only work part-time and my mother to stay home.

    This all went wrong last year and it’s all my fault.

    Christmas 2015 I brought my mum lots of Yankee candles, flowers, slippers, a giant toblerone, photos of her grandchildren placed in a beautiful silver frame and a joke present of a green rampant rabbit and ky jelly.

    It was meant in jest it was a never meant to be a marriage breaker, i thought my mum wold laugh and my dad would make a silly joke.

    My mother loved it, she stopped sleeping with my father, always saying she was tired or had a head ache, you know the go to excuses to get out of sex, her rampant rabbit was her new favourite toy, it completely replaced her husband.

    Six months of no sex for my father was too much, he tried talking with my mum, he tried to spice things up, but nothing worked, eventually he found love in a different place, my parents split and my father moved from our family home.

    My perfect family, my loving parents separated all over a joke.

    My mum said she’s never felt more free. My father had never pleased her in the bedroom department and she feels she has missed out for so long.

    My father still misses the woman he loves but has found comfort in another and things seem o be going well.

    I will never forgive myself for breaking up my parents but I’m glad both parties are happy.

     

  • How Do I Tell My Child He’s Not Wanted

    How do you explain to an 8 year old that his dad who has supposedly loved him, raised him, played with him and been his role model that he has a new family, a new baby on the way and now my son isn’t welcome.

    How do you explain he won’t be there on his birthday?

    His Fathers day card won’t be received

    His Dad has said he doesn’t want him and never wants to hear from him again.

    This is what I had to do last year the most heart breaking conversation i have ever had.

    Seeing my sons heart break even though i was tactful with my words i reassured him I loved him more than life it’s self.

    My son hasn’t seen his dad for over a year and you know what my boy has come through it he realises his dad is missing out not the other way round.

    I do not bad mouth his father to my son, and i hope one day his dad sees sense and reconnects with our child, but for now i’m raising my son to be a kind,smart and brave man.

    For all you single mums out there whose childs father is still wanting to be in their kids life, don’t bad mouth them (in ears reach of your child) don’t make impossible demands of them, I won’t tell you to be grateful just thankful that you had a relationship with a man who stands up and accepts his responsibilities.

    Mums and dads who have no other parental support be proud, be strong, you stood up when your ex sat down.