Tag: Break
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Please, Please, Please, Don’t Drink And Drive
This photograph shows me with my beautiful children ~ Matthew 12, Lucy 10 and their little brother Peter 2. My world, my joy, my life.
The photograph was taken from a film that was found in Matthew’s camera after he died. I don’t remember it being taken, but I have calculated it to be about 2 weeks before Matthew and Lucy were killed by a drunk driver in a road traffic accident.
They went to a football match with their dad one Summer evening in July 1996, and never came home. The drunk driver hit the car they were in head-on. Matthew died instantly, and Lucy 3 hours later in surgery. Their friend Ben, died 6 days later in hospital. Their father was horribly injured but survived the accident… well, physically anyway, as memories never die. The drunk driver was pronounced dead at the scene. My mum always said that he got away lightly.
In the few seconds that it took to veer off his side of the road, that drunk driver smashed our world into tiny pieces.
Little brother Peter’s grief and confusion regarding his siblings ‘disappearance’ was immense. You can only tell a 2 year old the very basics, but the fact that he stopped talking for weeks, and carried around for months a little car that Matthew had given him that day, often watching and waiting at the window, told of his pain.
The next time I saw my dear, beautiful children was in 2 coffins side by side in the Chapel of Rest. The shock took away my ability to stand. How we managed to get through the funeral I will never know, but the many friends, family and schoolchildren that attended helped to give us strength.
The inquest 5 months later told of a wealthy, upstanding Plymouth businessman, who was generous towards charities with his time and money, but who had a longstanding penchant for drinking and driving, ignoring all warnings regarding the danger he was causing. He was 3.5 times over the drink driving limit when he got in his car. If only someone had taken his keys away that night….
Life became very quiet, all the energy was sucked out of the house where once my children had laughed and lived. I held tight to my sanity only for my little boy, and we grieved together, and in our own way. It took Peter years to put together the pieces of the puzzle ~ as his intellect grew, so did his curiosity for the facts. He was 15 when he read all the newspaper articles about the accident and finally found his peace.
It is a mistake to think that you can never be happy again ~ you can but in a different way, in a different world. I gave birth to baby Eliza 14 months after we lost Matthew and Lucy, and she brought joy and hope into our bleak world again.
I laugh and cry, and experience life and have watched my children grow into wonderful, confident adults, and I glow with pride and wonder at how blessed I am.
But Matthew and Lucy remain in our lives, in our thoughts and our hearts. Always loved, never forgotten.
Today would have been Lucy’s 34th birthday, and she will be remembered with such pride. Through the tears that will inevitably flow, I will smile at her memories and tell her how much she is loved. It is all I can do.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE. Please do not put another family through this grief. Please do not be the cause of a lifetime of sorrow.
AND DON’T BE STUPID ENOUGH TO THINK IT WON’T HAPPEN TO YOU. It happened to us. It happened to my beautiful children. It can happen to anyone.
Designate a driver, take a taxi, walk to the party.
Thank you for reading my post. Please share and help to save some lives, if only 1 or 2 people make a different choice, it will all be worth it.
And have a blessed and safe Christmas❤️
Credit https://www.facebook.com/sarahjane.hudson.5
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I’m Just Tired Mummy
Today as soon as I picked my five year old up from kindergarten, I could tell she was in, what I like to call, one of her “moods”. She was crying over everything, not being herself, and acting so uptight. My immediate reaction was to get annoyed. And say “you’re almost six, why are you acting like this?!”
It wasn’t until a few hours of her acting like this, that she looked at me with tears in her eyes, and I said “are you just having a draining day?” She hugged me and said “I’m just tired mommy.” And that when I realized, I totally forgot what I always preach about to my kids. Your mental health being your top priority.
So, I drew her a lavender bubble bath, gave her a face mask, and lit some candles while she read her books and sipped on her apple juice.
After the bath, she was a new kid. The kid I usually know. She was happy, had more energy, and was handling things better.
I think we all forgot that even for kids, life gets too much sometimes. And even they need a break from it all.
Today taught me that I need to be a more understanding parent, as I too go through so much and need a nice bath to myself to escape it all. It doesn’t matter the age. We all need that.
❤️
Credit Caitlinfladager
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I Married A Bully But My Daughter Got A Worse Deal
I married a bully.
I married a piss poor excuse of a man that started slapping me after the first year. He then went on to constantly give me black eyes, break my nose and even shove a glass in my face. Jade was only a little girl, but she saw some of it, and when she was at the age of 4 or 5 I left him. He started turning the light off and back on again because he knew it scared her. He could do what he liked to me but I would never cry. His only way to really get to me was through Jade. That was enough for me to exit that marriage, so we left. I left my own house and a lot of what was in it just to get away from that scumbag; I was not prepared to put her in danger.
Jade knew what was going on and as she grew she wasn’t going to let anyone treat her the way I had been treated. She’d seen the pain I’d had to go through and the pills the doctor put me on because of the state I was in. Valium, Amitriptyline, Prozac… You name it, I’ve been on it.
At the ripe old age of 26 I was a wreck. Beaten black and blue for years by a piece of shit whose aim in life was to kick fuck out of someone he professed to love. He’d cover me in ‘love’ bites and scrawl big purple welts down my back. HIS marks!
So, Jade steered clear of scum like him. Then she met someone she hadn’t seen for years and started dating him. It lasted about 7 months from start to finish. He wanted her to settle down, have kids etc but that’s not what she wanted. Jade was loving life. She loved her job, had her own house, new car, went on different holidays around the world, loved her family and her friends. Life couldn’t have been better for her.
Jump forward to today…
6 years ago today, at around this time 5:45pm, Jade sat on my sofa and told me her new ‘man’ was jealous, possessive and that she had finished with ‘him’ but not told him. She said she wanted to ‘break away gently’, so had told him she wanted a little space. I told her he would hit her. I know the signs; been there, done that. She said she didn’t think he would.
I never saw her again because 2 days later she was dead.
Backed into her own kitchen, stabbed 96 times with at least 4 of her own kitchen knives, while he screamed at her ‘that’s what you get for being a slag’. The filthy, murdering bastard thought she was seeing someone else, when all along she wanted a little peace away from his demands. And away from that bitch of a mother of his who supplied the bullets for the murderers imaginary gun.
He made such a mess of Jade that I never got to say goodbye. I wasn’t able to see her because he shredded her; something his mother saw and hope she sees every single night when she closes her eyes and every single morning when she opens them.
I don’t dwell on those scumbags, but they are still breathing, so I hope they both suffer a long, excruciatingly painful death. And I hope Jade haunts them every rotten day they are on this Earth, but she won’t. Because Jade was lovely and wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing.
So, my darling Jade, I will be reading my cards in a moment and hoping you will come to me for a little while. I miss you so bad and regardless of what people say, it doesn’t get any easier.
Keep on dancing up there
xxx <3 xxx
Credit https://www.facebook.com/maria.rileyward.3
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The Things A Mother Gives Up Would Leave Most People Empty
The things a mother gives up would leave most people empty – but as mothers we hold ourselves high. We do our jobs, and we do it good! It’s never-ending hours and requirements most would rather pass on.
– No sick days
– No calling in
– No personal days
– No vacations
– No privacy
– No alone time
– No personal space
– No quitting
– No sleep
– No putting yourself first
– No stopping
Yeah, it’s a lot of no’s…
Why do you do it then, you ask?
Because. – Because, you are their mother. You gave birth to the most precious beings in your life. Because you have loved them before you knew them. Because you would give your life for them. Because the smiles and unconditional love you receive is more than any sacrifice you have ever made.
Sure, it’s hard. Yeah, it has its days when you want to give up. When you want to cry your eyes out and run away. But you made a promise to care and love for these little beings. And damn it, that’s something you take very seriously!
You are a mother, and no matter the struggles and self-doubt… You have one hell of a job, and you do it well!
Keep it up Queen 👸
Written by – Kendra Myler
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Stay At Home Mum Depression Is Something We Need To Talk About
Stay at home mum (SAHM) depression… the elephant in the room nobody talks about. I mean, how dare you complain after being gifted this opportunity to stay at home and raise your own kids?
But it’s not that simple: of course we SAHM’s are grateful to stay home and raise our young but that it’s literally all we become.
No one talks about the isolation. No one talks about the loss of identity. No one talks about the loneliness. No one talks about losing your sense of self. No one talks about how you had to give up your career because it’s cheaper for you to stay home.
No one talks about how you cry in the shower because your day was overwhelming. No one understands why you’re tired. No one understands why you’re irritable. No one understands why you need a mental break. No one understands why you’re so aggravated with your kids.
No one understands why after you’ve been home all day, the house is a wreck still. No one understands why you just need 5 minutes with no one speaking to or touching you. No one understands why you’ve lost your sex drive. No one understands why you’re completely and utterly exhausted, after all, you just sit at home all day.
No one understands the feeling you have when you are told you don’t have a “real job.”
Most of us were working women at one point. We got to go to a job and interact with other adults outside our home. We contributed financially to our household. (Shoot, most of us want some kind of side hustle or part-time job because it would sure help with financial relief.)
We didn’t feel like an endless maid. We got that break away (even though yes, work is a love/ hate relationship) that gives you space from the people you live with (children, spouse, etc.) because yes, every relationship needs time away in it to not go crazy being around each other 24/7. That’s not healthy. Contrary to popular belief – you need a break daily.
I can’t tell you how many women I meet or know that say “oh, you have too much time on your hands,” I sure wish I could stay home, I wouldn’t complain.”
Good for you!
I can guarantee you will change your mind 6 months in, unless you’re wealthy and have money to constantly go do things. I once was you. I wished upon a star I could stay home with my kids because I wanted to spend all the time I could. I didn’t realise what all came with being a SAHM.
Oh but you chose to have those kids. You should’ve thought about that before having them. If you didn’t want to go through all this you should’ve never had kids. And you said you want more?
Seriously… Heard those all before.
Next time you hear or see a SAHM venting her frustrations, listen and make her feel like she’s somebody. That her struggles are not invalid.
Thanks Momma’s Tired for shedding light on depression and voicing the challenges many mums face. For being honest because for many, this is a typical week.
Check out Momm’s tired on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/themommastired/
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This Is What Depression Looks Like, No, Not The Clean Dishes
This is what depression looks like.No. Not the clean dishes.
But that there were that many dishes in the first place; that I’ve gone 2 weeks without doing them. 3 days ago I sat on the kitchen floor and stared at them while I cried. I knew they needed to be done. I wanted to do them so bad. But depression pulled me under. It sucked me in. Like a black hole. Rapidly, sinking quick-sand.
I walked by them morning and night and all day long. And just looked at them. Telling myself that I could do them. Telling myself that I would. And feeling defeated everyday that I didn’t. Making the depression only that much worse because not accomplishing something that needs to be done is failure. Worthless. Failure. Piece of shit. Incompetent. Stupid. Lazy. All things that roll through the mind of someone with depression.
All. Day. Long. Throw anxiety on top of it, and you’ve got yourself a real treat. Being scared your husband will leave because he thinks you’re lazy. Being scared to let people into your home because they’ll think you’re nasty. Feeling like you’re failing your kids because for the 3rd night in a row you don’t have any clean dishes to cook dinner on.. so pizza it is. Again. And the worst part of it all, it’s not just with the dishes. The laundry, cleaning, dressing yourself, taking a shower, dressing your kids, brushing your and their teeth, normal everyday tasks. It all becomes a nightmare. A very daunting task.
Somedays it doesn’t get done at all. Depression is something that “strong” people don’t talk about because they don’t want people to think they’re “weak”. You’re not weak. You’ve been strong for so long and through so many things, that your body needs a break. I don’t even care if the only thing you did today, was put deodorant on. I’m proud of you for it. Good job. I’m in your corner. I’m on your side. I’m not looking for sympathy, not in the slightest. But I am letting everyone know that I’m here for you. I get it. If you need someone to talk to, I’m always here to help.
Full credit goes to the amazing Brittany Ernsperger
