Tag: survive

  • Help Save This Young Ladies Life

    On 06th January 2017 our lives changed forever as our beautiful 21 year old daughter, Monique, was rushed into emergency surgery after a CT scan found her bowel had perforated. Eight hours later she emerged from surgery with a colostomy bag and a week later her surgeon confirmed the news behind the perforation: 

    “Testing has confirmed a malignant tumour caused your bowel to perforate. Unfortunately the tumour has also spread… You have Stage 4 Advanced Bowel Cancer” 

    We spent the next two weeks in hospital by Monique’s side as she recovered from her surgery and processed the news that she would be starting palliative chemotherapy within the next 6 weeks. 

    We were told that Monique’s prognosis was not good. Her oncologist predicted 6-12 months alongside the chemotherapy. However, as is in her nature, her zest for life prevailed and nearing 3 years later, she has surpassed all the odds having undergone 58 cycles of chemotherapy and reaching NED (no evidence of disease) status for 2 years. 

    Chemotherapy has been by far the toughest thing Monique has undergone. The physical and mental side effects have been harrowing. 

    Watching her courage and determination to push forward despite this has been inspiring. 

    Help Save This Young Ladies Life
    Help Save This Young Ladies Life

    Recurrence 
    Unfortunately in August 2019, Monique’s 3 monthly CT scan has shown that her cancer has returned in the lining of her abdomen and pelvis and her ovaries. Correspondence from a specialist surgical centre in Basingstoke has unfortunately deemed Monique unsuitable for surgery. As a result, Monique has had to start a new chemotherapy treatment which she will continue in 2 weekly cycles until she is re-scanned in 3 months and we find out whether the treatment has stabilised her cancer. 

    Go Fund Me
    As her parents, we are devoted to Monique and now devoted to extensively researching multiple different treatments both here in the UK and abroad, including Israel and America, which offer both medical and alternative treatments which we believe Monique will benefit from and help her diagnosis. Unfortunately her options on the NHS are very limited due to her diagnosis and the treatments that will ultimately benefit her life are not covered by the NHS and are very costly. We have started this GoFundMe page in order to raise the funds needed to provide Monique with these life-saving treatments as well as to enable her to live her life independently, comfortably and to the full. 

    Any funds which are leftover and do not go towards funding these treatments will be split between three of Monique’s chosen charities; CLIC Sargent, Teens Unite, Bowel Cancer Research UK and her ongoing treatment centre, who have all supported her fight so far. 

    Keep up to date with Monique’s journey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelifeofmiqu

    To donate https://www.gofundme.com/f/thelifeofmique

     

  • Motherhood Is Isolating

    MOTHERHOOD IS…

    Motherhood is isolating.

    Hours spent in the dark bouncing or breastfeeding a baby alone. Day upon day stuck in the house with sick kids in winter.

    Motherhood is monotonous.

    Change them, feed them, wash them, clean up after them. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Laundry, well, that alone is insurmountable.

    Motherhood is invisibility.

    When everyone else’s needs scream louder than yours. It’s remembering to eat breakfast despite catering for the individual preferences of everyone else. It’s eating the leftover cut outs from your kids star shaped sandwich or the rejected items from the dinner plate. It’s cleaning the lounge every night because otherwise it will do your head in, despite everyone else taking little notice. It’s changing the roll on the toilet paper holder instead of leaving it on the floor. It’s making sure everyone has what they need for the next day to make the morning run smoother despite no one else giving it a second thought.

    Motherhood is sacrifice.

    It’s having an audience to pee, it’s juggling times to have a shower. It’s fitting what you can into the time the baby naps. It’s getting home from work and barely having a moment to breathe before you switch from one ‘hat’ to the other. It’s when we struggle to fulfil our cups of sacrifice with self care, which is like a bandaid for the gaping wound that is a lack of hands on societal support and the missing close knit community or tribe like times of old.

    Motherhood is comparison.

    Its insta lunchboxes and designer labels. It’s who subscribes to what label of parenting and pro versus anti, this versus that. It’s a concern of not being enough or being reminded of “what happened in my day” or “I turned out ok despite….”. It’s fear and threats of spoiling babes or creating rods for backs. It’s graphs or averages, measuring against some status quo. It’s fighting the tide to try and listen to your own inner instincts and your babes individual preferences and needs.

    Motherhood is triage.

    Knowing who to tend to first, which order to address the whinging. It’s knowing when encouragement and support are needed and when you need to jump in and help out.

    Motherhood is a balancing act.

    It’s remembering to be present in the moment with our kids and knowing which are times you can snatch to achieve a critical task. It’s trying to grab seconds of self and still attempting to be selfless in our intentions. It’s balancing trying to achieve things and being interrupted continuously to the point where it is impossible to finish anything.

    Motherhood is a head fuck.

    When you feel like you have no more to spare, you still have to. When you feel so touched out and like you actually might scream if someone doesn’t get off your boob immediately, but you still do it. When you don’t know if you’re doing anything at all right but the fact you are actually questioning that, in and of itself actually means you’re a good mum, even if you don’t believe it.

    Motherhood is appreciating the small things.

    The fact you managed to survive another day. You dealt with a million tantrums or a kid questioning that keeps pushing every boundary. You managed to keep a fearless toddler alive despite their best efforts otherwise (stop fucking jumping off the bookcase kid! :/ ). You handled what seemed insurmountable when you got out of bed, already tired, and did what you needed to get to the next bedtime.

    Motherhood is wonderful.

    Little feet and hands. Tiny people with a little bits of you in them. Cuddles and kisses. Peacefully sleeping faces. “I love you”s and “Mama you’re the best”s. It’s pride and joy and oh so much love.

    ___________

    What is motherhood for you at the moment? 😍

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/babywearingwithjess/

     

  • You Are Strong, You Can Walk Away From An Abuser

    An abusive person uses threats and violence to keep a victim compliant.

    To manipulate,.destruct and destroy.

    In a place where they have control

    Fearful to make eye contact for fear of retribution.

    They don’t want you to gaze at them

    If challenged.a coward will run

    They will see the pain in your eyes

    And perhaps

    They see themselves reflected back.

    Evil, cruel, callous and unkind.

    Then they lose the grip and over on you

    So please I’m absolutely begging you

    Left your head and see the world as a beautiful place

    See the abuser for what they are

    Cold staring ugly weasel eyes.

    No light will ever reach their soul.

    Only the fires that burn in hell

    Go back to the mirror please look again

    Detach the wounded inner self

    Love forgive and console your self

    Gaze upon a survivors reflection

    Look deep in to their eyes

    Deep down inside

    To go down to the absolute depths of despair.

    There’s only one way to go now

    Up up up up and up again

    Gaining control of your own destiny

    Please take heart things get better

    Let others love you and find out how special that you are.

    Let down the guard.

    Learn to trust your own instincts

    Draw upon your strengths

    There is no room at the inn to fail

    As my dear please believe in yourself

    Your worth a million bullies

    Strong dignified and pure inside.

    You didn’t want or ask for it

    Go into your soul and bring out the light

    With trust and compassion

    With your dignity and poise

    These are your gifts no one can destroy

    Please don’t believe ugly names toy we’re often called.

    Reverse your thinking strategy

    These names they shout is who

    They really are not you.

    Be true to you and only you

    Be brave and stand your ground

    Be your own saviour

    Remove the brick wall of isolation

    Let the hurt child in you move on

    Only then you can believe and dream

    Get help and close the wounded part

    There will always be scars and confusion

    But don’t let these people dictate

    Your life now free of aBuse

    Chin up and look up

    Be proud of all your little victories

    And rejoice breaking that cycle

    Of pain, confusion, and suffering.

    Be strong as you have survived

    And you are slowly starting to heal

    Don’t waste time on drink and drugs

    It doesn’t help and you will

    Just get arrested and locked up.

    The pain and heartache will

    Still be there in the cold daylight.

    Credit Diane Ginn

  • Woman Fights To Escape Attacker And Survives

    At about 7:15am Wednesday, I was walking my dog Berreta alone on our regular loop on the Platte River Trail, a short walk from my home. A man passed by me that I had recognized briefly from the day prior when I was walking with Billie.

    He didn’t make eye contact with me and I got a very strange vibe. Somehow he made it on the other side of the loop, meaning he must’ve cut through the woods somewhere knowing where I was headed. The dog and I passed him and I said excuse me. About 30 seconds later I noticed him very close behind me. I saw he had a rope in his hands and at that point he was too close to try and put any distance between us.

    He strangled me from behind and drug me into the woods about 15 feet off the trail where he removed almost all of my clothes. He continued to choke me using his hands, the rope, and with a bandana of some sort. I fought like hell and screamed my brains out, even my sweet dog tried to fight him and bite him as much as she could. He threatened to kill me, I believe to get me to stop screaming.

    I thought that this could be the end but I was not about to give up fighting for my life. He hog tied me from my neck to my wrists, then to my ankles and told me he was going to let me go but he needed to find his glasses first. He searched for them multiple times and couldn’t find them, I begged him to let me help but he said he couldn’t trust me. I somehow managed to sit up and was able to reach the knot around my ankles and free myself.

    I had no choice at that point but to run for my life as fast as I could, unfortunately without my dog. I made it to the bike path almost completely naked screaming for help. I’m so thankful there were people around that ultimately were able to protect me. A man on a bike chased him down and was able to restrain him until police arrived. HE IS IN CUSTODY.

    He is a registered sex offender and has multiple warrants out for his arrest, the detectives are very confident he won’t be seeing light of day for a very very long time, if not ever. Later I was able to find Berreta, so she is also safe at home.

    This was the worst day of my life but I knew I had to fight, it simply wasn’t my time to die. I love you all for all of the support and am feeling better today. I still feel like I got hit by a freight train but I am lucky to be in good hands today with my family and friends.

    I am putting this post up to remind each and every one of you, please be aware of your surroundings at all times. Even if you have been on your local path, your grocery store parking lot, or anywhere 100 times, danger can exist anywhere. I am lucky to be alive, so please have a plan in place to protect yourself from whatever may be out there. Be safe out there, lots of love from me!

    By Vanessa Ursini, Survivor

    ⚠️WARNING:GRAPHIC ⚠️

    Woman Fights To Escape Attacker And Survives
    Woman Fights To Escape Attacker And Survives
  • Please Don’t Call Him A Rape Baby

    Please Don’t Call Him A Rape Baby

    Three years ago I had to work late due to dead lines on a project I was assigned to, it was around 10pm when I finally left the office, I was desperate to get home as I knew I had an early night and just wanted something to eat and to soak in the tub.

    I made a huge error of judgement and decided to cut through a dark car park cutting off ten minutes of my journey home.

    I was half way through the car park when I was pulled into a van, I don’t remember much other than his body on top off mine and being in pain, I must have blacked out!

    I awoke 2 or 3 hours later two miles from home in a dark ditch, with no clothes and blood dripping down my thighs.

    I crawled through the mud and grass to the side of the road and a lorry driver stopped, the kindest man who wrapped me in a blanket and held me as I sobbed, he wanted to take me to the hospital but I just wanted to go home.

    The next morning I washed and dressed for work and god knows why but I pretended it hadn’t happened, I just carried on as normal.

    I smiled, I joked, I socialized, until 14 weeks later I discovered I was pregnant, the rape really did happen, it all came flooded back to me, memories are vague but now I was carrying my rapist baby.

    I visited my parents and poured out everything that had happened my mother was so great so kind so understanding, we talked about options but this baby wasn’t to blame, it was my child.

    I eventually gave birth to a beautiful red-haired little boy called *John*, my family really supported me other than my sister-in-law who kept referring to him as the rape baby, always asking does my son look like the rapist, how can you love a baby conceived by rape? Even suggested I put him up for adoption as when he finds out how he came into this world he will hate himself.

    He is NOT a rape baby, I do not see my rapist in my sons eyes, he is my light after a dark time, he is my hope, he is my heart, he is my son!

    *name has been changed to protect identity*