Tag: speeding

  • How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket

    A rookie police officer pulled me over for speeding and had the following exchange:

    • Officer: May I see your driver’s license?

    • Me: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

    • Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?

    • Me: It’s not my bike. I stole it.

    • Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?

    • Me: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.

    Officer: There’s a gun in the tool bag?

    • Me: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.

    • Officer: There’s drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?

    • Me: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. I was then quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached me to handle the tense situation:

    • Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

    • Me: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

    • Captain: Who’s motorcycle is this?

    • Me: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the registration.

    • Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there’s a gun in it?

    • Me: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.

    • Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there’s drugs in them.

    • Me: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.

    • Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.

    • Me: Yeah, I’ll bet he told you I was speeding, too.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/MrKZombiie