Tag: Snowman

  • Why Is The World Full Of Snowflakes

    β€œIt snowed last night…

    8:00 am: I made a snowman.

    8:10 – A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

    8:15 – So, I made a snow woman.

    8:17 – My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

    8:20 – The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

    8:22 – The transgender man..women…person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.

    8:25 – The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

    8:28 – I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

    8:31 – The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .

    8:40 – The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.

    8:42 – The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

    8:43 – The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

    8:45 – TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.

    9:00 – I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

    9:10 – I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

    9:29 – Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

    By noon it all melted

    Moral:

    There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.”

  • These Snowmen Are Inappropriate

    It had been snowing all night. So at ….

    8:00 I made a snowman.

    8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

    8:15 So, I made a snow woman

    8:17 My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere

    8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead

    8:22 The transgender person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts

    8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

    8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white..

    8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa

    8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended

    8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role

    8:43 The Government equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction

    8:45 TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, “Snowballs” and am called a sexist.

    9:00 I’m on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

    9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices… My children are taken by social services

    9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded

    Moral: There is no moral to this story. It’s just the world in which we live today and it’s going to get worse.