Welcome to Mums Advice

Tag: shop

  • Dear Children, Husbands and Dogs

    Dear Children, Husband and Dogs,

    For five weeks I have refereed fights, I have produced three square meals a day, often at different times because you are all lazy bastards who can’t be got out your pits and so have breakfast at varying hours meaning I am basically running a twenty fucking four hour canteen.

    I have hoovered and scrubbed shit stained toilets and wiped the toothpaste off sinks that you cannot be bothered to rinse away, because frankly why would you- apparently you can’t even be arsed to actually brush your teeth and think merely inserting a toothbrush covered in half a tube of toothpaste into your mouth and immediately spitting it over the sink is sufficient.

    I have queued at supermarkets to buy food for you to ‘not really fancy’ while you wonder aloud if it would be too much trouble to just get some nice fish or something. No, not that sort of fish. Maybe just some cod or scallops or something? Or for you to turn your nose up at it because of bits, and ‘why can’t we just have burgers again?’.

    And that’s all annoying, but I can deal with that- the real problem is that beyond all the practical stuff, I have tried, I have really really tried, to put on a bright and brave and cheery face for you all, to make you all feel like it’s going to be ok, however worried or scared I am, even when I’ve just been crying in the bastarding cupboard because I’m SO fucking scared about everything right now, even though I am luckier than most people. Even though we are all healthy, and if I think this is hard, there are so many more people for whom it’s far harder, who are working much harder, including all the amazing key workers (THANK YOU). But I am scared, and I think it’s ok to be scared and finding it hard. But I pretend I don’t for you, because that’s what mothers do, isn’t it? It is our job to make everything ok for everyone else.

    But today, today I am done. I can’t do this anymore just right now, this making everything ok for everyone. I just need a few hours off. A few hours not cooking and cleaning and smiling and being PollyFuckingAnna about every little thing that goes wrong to keep everyone else’s spirits up.

    And so, if you need me, I am getting utterly spangled on white wine in the sunshine, so kindly fuck off, give me these few hours peace to try and recharge my own batteries, and take advantage of the fact that today it is fine to have crisps for dinner. Maybe have an apple too. I haven’t completed abandoned my parental responsibilities.

    And anyone else, who is also feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated right now, like they don’t know how much longer they can do this for, like they can’t breath sometimes and need to scream- I think that’s ok, and I think we all need some time out. Be kind to yourself, take some time for yourself if you can, stop trying to solve everyone’s problems and make everything ok for them, just for a few hours, because we are no use to our families if we don’t look after ourselves too.*

    Love Mummy,

    *Other recreational activities are available apart from white wine.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/peterandjaneandmummytoo/

  • Do Not Ask Me For Free Stuff It’s Not Cool

    Do NOT ask your hair stylist/ barber friend for free haircuts or colour services.

    Do NOT ask your retail friends for discounts on clothes in their store.

    Do NOT ask your server friends for free food or to not charge you for something you ordered.

    Do NOT ask your bartender friends for extra liquor in your drink.

    Do NOT ask your shirt maker friend for free shirts or if you can just bring a shirt and have them put vinyl on it for free.

    The list could go on

    Do you realize how asinine you look going into a place of business and asking your friend/ acquaintance for a discount because you “know” them

    Like seriously… That is their JOB! This is how they pay their bills or feed their family and YOU think that just because you “know” them that you should get a hookup?

    Please, humor me for a second

    Do they go to YOUR job and ask for discounts, free food, drinks or hookups? Nope.

    (& If y’all have a special bond like that, this isn’t for you)

    You can’t expect someone to risk their job for you. We are adults. We have bills. We have mortgages. We have children. We need our jobs!

    Or asking friends who have their own businesses for FREE services

    Running a business is not free. Material costs. Taxes. Time & effort. Etc….

    Just stop it’s not cute! We’re not cool like that. If we are and it’s something I want to do, I will do it, BUT don’t ask! Talk about awkward!

    If you have a story you would like to share with us, want to advertise on Mums advice facebook page or website or trying to raise awareness of any topic or would like us to then please send us an email to mumsadviceltd@outlook.com

  • I Nearly Lost Custody Over A Silly Mistake

    Jackie Lilley of Maldon Essex nearly lost custody of her little boy Brayli for one silly mistake.

    Brayli aged 21 months had just been picked up from nursery by his mother Jackie, 24.
    Brayli was tired and cranky but Jackie still had errands to run, the tired toddler had fallen asleep in his car seat.

    Jackie had to pick up Her medication from the local pharmacy before it closed.
    Jackie made a big mistake she decided to leave Brayli asleep in his car seat and run into the pharmacy, after all she would only be gone for a matter of minutes.

    Jackie knew he could come to no harm, he was in plain sight, strapped in his car seat and fast asleep and it was not a hot day.

    Little did she know a PCO was walking past and spotted the child, he jotted down her number plate and searched for the mother whilst radioing into report it.

    Jackie pleaded her case to the community officer and after giving him her details she was able to leave, still in shock she drove home.

    Jackie thought that was the end of it, but social services called, to check up on the welfare of Brayli, she was asked multiple questions and felt scared, she was warned not to leave her child alone in the car even for a minute.

    Although there is no written law stating what age a child can be left alone if those in power deem it unsafe or neglectful you run the risk of losing your child.

    Jackie wants to warn other parents to never leave their child in the car, even though it can be a hassle to unbuckle them or have grumpy children or temper tantrums, it is not worth the risk of losing your child or being in big trouble.

  • Mums Response To Childs Tantrum Ends Up In A Police Visit

    I’m a mum aged 23 and I have a three year old daughter named Lacey.I’d like to warn other mums to watch what they say to their children when In public.

    Back in January I was shopping with Lacey, it was just before midday and she was getting hungry and tired.

    One more shop to go in and then we would head to the cafe for lunch.

    Queuing in Savers, Lacey starts the stomping of her feet and whining, I said to her 
    “Pack it in or I’ll put you on eBay”.

    Soon we were served and on our way to the cafe. I thought nothing more of her micro tantrum in Savers or my jokey reply.


    That night whilst settling Lacey for bed there was a load thump thump thump on the door the police where here.


    My head was a whirl I was thinking the worst that my partner had been injured on his way home from work.


    The police informed me there had been a flagged warning that I may tempt to sell my child… I mean really they thought I would sell my own flesh and blood.


    The police said that a neighbour had been in the shop at the time of my daughters tantrum and heard what I had said and called them.


    Luckily after the police checked on my daughter and seeing that she was loved and well looked after no charges or further action was taken.


    I hate to think that a neighbour thinks I could possibly even consider selling Lacey, please be wary of what you say, you never know what busy body maybe listening.