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Tag: shit

  • I’m Not The Mum That Watches My Kids

    I’m not the Mum that watches my kids 24/7, I often watch from a distance with my feet up and a glass of wine in my hand, they don’t need me with them every second of the day.

    I’m the mom that yells up the stairs ” you better pack it in before I lose my shit and whack you sideways”. ( before you perfect parents jump on me it is perfectly acceptable in my eyes to threaten to physically harm them, I have never actually raised a hand to them).

    I’m also the Mum that waits for the real cry before going across the house to see what’s up ( I can tell when it is a whiney fake attention seeking cry to the shit I’m bleeding type of cry) . I’ll come for you being hurt but I don’t wanna come because your brother has the plastic cup you want. Figure that shit out on your own.

    I’m the mum who won’t rush across the park to scoop you up when you have had a little tumble, unless there is blood, a bone sticking out of your body or a serious injury, my kids are tough they ain’t no snowflake, they cry when they are hurt not when they have tripped.

    Stop raising incapable kids because they turn into incapable adults, stop following them everywhere, put the anti bacteria gel away, give them space to grow and learn, christ when we were growing up our mum would spit on our wounds and use her sleeve to wipe away the blood, our mums gave us the freedom to grow and learn.

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  • I Personally Think I’m A Perfect Mother

    I personally think I’m a perfect mother. Why do I think that? Because my child is happy, fed, watered and healthy. The mum who lives across the road, her kids are also healthy happy fed and watered. So she’s a perfect mother.

    I can’t stand pierced ears on babies as to me it’s cruel. And yes secretly I’d be a bit judgy but I would not go out of my way to push my views on people. But I also don’t like kids with great big bows on their head, kids in track suits or little girls in totally inappropriate clothes (hot pants and cropped tops). But would I force my opinion? No!!! Cos it’s none of my fucking business how others raise their children!

    My son has a happy meal now and then. He loves watching tv. He wears the same pjs for more than one night if they are perfectly clean still. He also has on more than one occasion heard me swear and runs around copying for example yesterday I hit my head and said oh cock. He ran around saying cock cock cock. (We managed to pass it off as clock😂) But he also loves walking for miles through the countryside, loves trying new foods, is so polite when meeting new people. So I don’t think I’m doing a bad job.

    And when the judgy mcjudgeface fuckers come along and tell you that you’re a shit parent it’s almost enough to make yourself doubt those snotty kisses, the times where only a hug from mummy will do, and all those giggles over fart noises. But no, I am a perfect mother to MY SON. And if others don’t like how I parent, then quite frankly my dear, I DONT GIVE A DAMN!!

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