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  • You Have Missed Everything Daddy

    There was a time in my life that I thought you were the greatest man alive. I got pregnant with your child while we were both still children ourselves.

    I was scared, devestated and so mad at myself. You made things okay. You promised you would be there. You promised that we would make it. My first mistake was believing you. You kept your promise for awhile. You stuck by my side through the cravings, and the roller-coaster emotions, you held my hand through the delivery, you woke up with her at night, changed her diapers, worked to help support her.

    You were perfect. I was so grateful that you were there to help me, I was so grateful that our daughter had a family. Despite everything I had thought the day I took that pregnancy test, I was happy. I had my own little family and life was good. Little did I know how short lived my happiness would be. And little did I know that the person I trusted and loved so much would be the person to rob me of that happiness. When you left, I was devastated. I was devastated not for me, but for our daughter. For the little girl whose first word was dada, for the little girl who smiled so big every time you walked in a room.

    I was devastated that she wouldn’t see mommy and daddy together anymore, but I took comfort in knowing she would still have two parents who loved her, even if they weren’t together. But then you stole that from her. You walked away from her and never looked back. I would hold our baby and cry at night, wishing things could be different with her.

    With each and every day that passed with no phone calls or texts from you, no emails, no letters my sadness started to turn to anger. I was angry at you. I was angry that you left me to do it all alone. I was angry that I worked so hard but still had to stress about bills and buying diapers.

    I would get angry whenever I would see pictures of you partying on social media, without a care in the world. I was so damn angry at you. But here it is, 2 years later. I’m not angry anymore. I am so happy. Your daughter is 3 years old. You haven’t seen her for almost 2 years.

    You have never seen her blown out her 2nd and 3rd birthday candles, talk in sentences, learn her numbers and shapes or dance to her favourite songs. You missed her first day of school and her first school performance. You’ve missed everything. I guess I just want you to know that you lose. I have the greatest gift of all, the gift of child who loves me. And you will have to live with the regret of not knowing the most beautiful little girl that you helped create. And that was your choice.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/nikitawalker97

     

  • How Can You Not See Your Children

    32 weeks no contact.

    32 weeks of missed milestones.

    32 weeks missed of growth in all kinds of ways.

    32 weeks of stress.

    32 weeks of tears.

    Missed birthdays, Christmas, hospital appointments, hospital stays, major infections, operations, school placements, fights with senco and myself.

    32 weeks.

    How can you go 32 weeks without even a second thought to two little boys who once loved you more than life itself. I forgive you for everything you did to me. I forgive you all the pain and the scars; the bad memories, the doubts, the fear, the damage.

    I forgive you. I hope the life she is providing for you is the one you needed. Because I don’t possess the ability to envy you. Even though I spend every single waking moment crying out for bedtime for some peace. I couldn’t go 32 weeks without seeing my boys. MY boys. The boys WE created. But you chose to leave behind because your hatred towards me overpowered your love for them.

    Meanwhile I’m doing my best to raise two littles into men to be proud of. I keep them safe. I may not have a £700 a week income like yourself. You may have your fancy car and your holidays, and we may only have primark’s finest for the time being and trips to Blackpool.

    But our trips to Blackpool are full of memories. Wonderful beautiful memories with people who have taken on a role without even realising. People who care more in these 32 weeks than you have ever done. Who hold so much love for those boys my heart could burst at times.

    They’re typical arsehole kids. They cause trouble wherever they go. But where as you saw them as a burden, these people see them as a world full of possibilities. They see the potential in Jace’s destructive side, they see the intelligence in Brodie’s attitude and the passion in them both because at only 4 and 2 they stand up for what they believe in.

    And as much as I always wanted that perfect family. A mummy a daddy; their babies and even a dog! I’d take my family and my team as it is right here right now any day.

    They have the BEST Male role models. They have somebody who will drop everything to see them when they ask. Rather than somebody (you) who chooses to drop hours because it’s and I quote ‘not normal to see them other than 10 hours a weekend).

    I really hope you found your peace mark. I do. At one point I loved you more than I loved myself. And regardless of the pain I’ll always hold hope that one day you’ll live a happy life.

    Because it must be so painful, to lead a life full of such regret, pain and shame.

    Credit Kayleigh Jace Jade

  • You Ain’t No Dad To My Kids, You’re Not Even A Man

    You think you’re a dad aye? You may have a child whom calls you daddy and runs up to you when you arrive home from a long day at work but you did not make that child, You Ain’t No Dad To My Kids, You’re Not Even A Man .

    Your child is here with me, remember me I was the one you swore to love forever, remember me I was the one who gave birth to your beautiful son.

    Do you remember your son he’s the one who looked up to you and loved you unconditionally. He still misses you but I guess he’s just a distant memory to you.

    Two long years have passed since you last saw him, two long years since you supported him in any way.

    You choose another woman over me, which hurt me I’ll admit, but what did OUR child do?

    No one has stopped you seeing your own flesh and blood but your too busy playing daddy to another mans son.

    I don’t want you back, I don’t need your money, but your baby boy, your splitting image wants his daddy in his life.

    You can’t just push a child to one side when a new relationship comes along.

    You remember that saying, a dog is not just for Christmas well it goes for children too, a child is not just for the length of the relationship.

    Wake up woman if your man drops his kids by choice he is no man at all.

    There are some wonderful caring brilliant fathers out there who take their role as daddy seriously, there are dads out there who would sell their soul to be able to see their child but a bitter ex makes that impossible, there are fathers raising children alone, you sir are a real man and the world wishes there were more like you.

    Related article:http://mums-advice-old-copy.local/im-not-even-sorry-you-miss-your-child/

     

     

  • What it is like to break up with a Narcissist

    What it is Like to Break Up with a Narcissist

    Narcissists can be charming, sweet, attractive, and fun and  interesting at the start.

    Of course, when your relationship started, you didn’t relise he was a narcissist. He was the most charming and loving man ever. Soon, you saw his true side: you saw he was vain, manipulative, and that nothing is ever his fault, and it all turned into a nightmare.

    Dating a narcissist or being in a relationship with one is an emotional roller coaster. When you are with a narcissist, everything revolves around him, and he is the center of the attention. It is confusing, exhausting, and emotionally challenging. After some time, you realized that the only thing you can do is to leave this unhealthy relationship. But, the break up doesn’t end your emotional suffering.

    The only thing harder than being in a relationship with a narcissist is breaking up with one. Here is what it’s like to break up with a narcissist and what you should expect.

    Every break-up is tough and painful. But, most breakups follow the same patterns: one of the partners leave, both of them grieve for a certain period of time, and everyone moves on with their lives. But, when it comes to narcissists, everything is different, so you can’t expect to have an average break up. Narcissists are very competitive, enjoy winning, and have a fragile ego. If a narcissist leaves you, he either found another victim for emotional abuse or he left you to play with you and he will soon be back. If you are the one leaving a narcissist, you are directly attacking his ego.

    The only way to leave a narcissist is to cut all ties between you two. It’s impossible to stay friends or to maintain any contact with this person after the relationship. He needs to emotionally abuse someone, and if you stay around him, he will quickly drag you back in this never-ending circle. Before you know it and without even being aware of it, he will use his manipulative skills against you, and you will again find yourself in some kind of relationship with him.

    Everything involving a narcissist has to be chaotic; it is just a part of their personality. So, don’t expect your break up to go without a storm. A narcissist feels threatened when you are leaving him. Expect a big fight, expect him to insult you or even threaten that you would never get rid of him. He may try to blame you for everything that has happened in this unhealthy relationship. But, keep in mind that you were the victim and don’t let him make you feel guilty. He will try to do this to directly affect your self-esteem. He is very well aware that he is the one who was hurting you, but he doesn’t care. Because he doesn’t care about you.

    The only thing he cares about is himself and that he has someone he can emotionally abuse. And he knows he can manipulate and emotionally abuse you only if you feel worthless and bad about yourself. A narcissist will try to manipulate you and play with your mind.

    Another possible scenario is that he will assure you he will change and that he can’t live without you. He will beg, plead, bargain, and tell you everything you wanted to hear, just so two of you can be together. He may even threaten suicide. You may feel like he finally realized you are the one and that your relationship is worth fighting for. But, don’t fall for his tricks! He will use everything he can, so he can seduce you and charm you like in the beginning. He is not doing this because he loves you. And he is doing this because his ego is hurt, and he can’t admit he was wrong.

    If you make up with a narcissist, you will feel like you are at the top of the world. He will be the best boyfriend you could ever wish for. But, only for a short period of time. Soon, a narcissist will return to his old ways, and you will be trapped back in this cycle of emotional abuse and torture. Remember, he will never change!

     

  • Sex Toys Ruined My Parents Marriage

    Sex Toys Ruined My Parents Marriage

    My parents are in their early fifties and have been married for 30 blissful years.

    My parents had two children, myself and brother and are now proud grandparents to three.

    To look at you would think they had the perfect life, mortgage free, a loving family, lovely holidays abroad, nice cars and enough money for my father to only work part-time and my mother to stay home.

    This all went wrong last year and it’s all my fault.

    Christmas 2015 I brought my mum lots of Yankee candles, flowers, slippers, a giant toblerone, photos of her grandchildren placed in a beautiful silver frame and a joke present of a green rampant rabbit and ky jelly.

    It was meant in jest it was a never meant to be a marriage breaker, i thought my mum wold laugh and my dad would make a silly joke.

    My mother loved it, she stopped sleeping with my father, always saying she was tired or had a head ache, you know the go to excuses to get out of sex, her rampant rabbit was her new favourite toy, it completely replaced her husband.

    Six months of no sex for my father was too much, he tried talking with my mum, he tried to spice things up, but nothing worked, eventually he found love in a different place, my parents split and my father moved from our family home.

    My perfect family, my loving parents separated all over a joke.

    My mum said she’s never felt more free. My father had never pleased her in the bedroom department and she feels she has missed out for so long.

    My father still misses the woman he loves but has found comfort in another and things seem o be going well.

    I will never forgive myself for breaking up my parents but I’m glad both parties are happy.

     

  • I’m Not Even Sorry You Miss Your Child

    Here we go again.

    It’s 09:26am and I’m sat here once again with a coffee in hand, admiring my daughter playing with her toys, fighting back the tears, wondering what my child did so badly to deserve to be put second by her ‘father’.

    He was supposed to be here at 08:00am.
    After two weeks working away and missing his daughter, he couldn’t make it last night because he was stuck at the barbers; a BARBERS.
    No awful road accident, nobody had died, he hadn’t lost a limb and he was still very much alive.
    These should be the only things stopping a parent from seeing their child, the only things.
    I did my usual and offered him a time slot for this morning; I compromised, because that’s what co-parenting is about, right?
    So, yeah, he’s not turned up at the agreed time.
    Why?

    Because he’s in bed after going on a drink and drugs binge last night, so he’s not fit to even care for my child.
    This isn’t the first time it’s happened, but it’s the last; I’ll make damn sure of that.

    Nearly two years of inconsistency and excuses – how long am I supposed to wait for someone to change? If they don’t want to change for their child, who will they change for?
    I’d have agreed to a later time, but he’s in a hurry to visit his new girlfriend at 12pm and she’s a 5 hour drive away – now tell me, who comes first?
    Call me a bitch, whatever – I’m out of f***s now.

    Why are people so quick to call a mother names for stopping contact between a father and their child?
    “Don’t stop contact, she’ll find out for herself when she’s older.”
    I would usually apologise but I’m past giving a rats arse – why do I want to give my daughter a childhood that she has to recover from?
    Why should I place her in to the firing line of an emotionally abusive, lying, manipulative and drug abusing, lousy excuse for a human being?
    She won’t thank me when she’s on medication or in therapy, when she goes through endless toxic relationships because she thinks this behaviour is normal.
    Why would any parent allow this?!

    In actual fact, I’m a bad parent for allowing contact if anything.
    Children aside, do you have any idea how much damage this also does to the mother? The person actually taking full responsibility of the child takes an emotional beating too, because all she wants to do is protect their child from hurt, pain or sufferance and she has to constantly pick up the pieces all the time.

    How can a mother be happy if her children are hurting?
    It’s a mother’s instinct to prevent unnecessary injury to their child; physically and emotionally.
    You wouldn’t allow another child to bully your child and you wouldn’t encourage them to be in their life, that’s for sure; so why is this different?

    In fact, it’s worse.

    It’s worse because a parent is supposed to be a role model; they’re the people who set examples for how we’re supposed to be treated – how can we do that if our own parents have no respect for us?
    Do I wait until she’s old enough to understand or do I shield her from years of disappointment, lies, hurt and wondering why she’s not good enough?
    You’ve already answered that yourself.
    No child should ever feel like they’re not worth it and I’ll fight until my last breath if it means them never having to feel like they’re not good enough.
    Today was the day I fell to pieces in front of my child and I will never forgive you.

    This picture was taken whilst writing this:

    I'm Not Even Sorry You Miss Your Child
    I’m Not Even Sorry You Miss Your Child

    Credit: https://theunicorninblack.com/

  • How Do I Tell My Child He’s Not Wanted

    How do you explain to an 8 year old that his dad who has supposedly loved him, raised him, played with him and been his role model that he has a new family, a new baby on the way and now my son isn’t welcome.

    How do you explain he won’t be there on his birthday?

    His Fathers day card won’t be received

    His Dad has said he doesn’t want him and never wants to hear from him again.

    This is what I had to do last year the most heart breaking conversation i have ever had.

    Seeing my sons heart break even though i was tactful with my words i reassured him I loved him more than life it’s self.

    My son hasn’t seen his dad for over a year and you know what my boy has come through it he realises his dad is missing out not the other way round.

    I do not bad mouth his father to my son, and i hope one day his dad sees sense and reconnects with our child, but for now i’m raising my son to be a kind,smart and brave man.

    For all you single mums out there whose childs father is still wanting to be in their kids life, don’t bad mouth them (in ears reach of your child) don’t make impossible demands of them, I won’t tell you to be grateful just thankful that you had a relationship with a man who stands up and accepts his responsibilities.

    Mums and dads who have no other parental support be proud, be strong, you stood up when your ex sat down.