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Tag: self

  • How Exercise Can Save Your Life

    “My dad took his own life when I was fifteen years old. I’m sure it was traumatic for my mom, but she sort of just sucked it up. She’d already experienced a lot of heartbreak in life. She grew up in a dysfunctional household and became a caregiver at a very young age.

    So she was able to conceal her emotions and focus on supporting me and my brother. I was the good kid. I worked hard in school. I played three sports. And Mom supported me in everything I wanted to try. Not in a pushy way. More of a helpful way.

    So much of her life was just driving me places: practice, games, extra lessons. Unfortunately her relationship with my older brother was different. Jacob was defiant. He wouldn’t listen. He had a good heart but he was doing a lot of reckless, scary things. One time he stole my mom’s car and she had to call the police.

    Jacob had been the one who discovered my dad’s body, and I don’t think he ever fully recovered. Five years later he took his own life. When my mom got that phone call, she came into the living room, laid on top of me, and starting crying. ‘Jacob just shot himself,’ she said. Both of us barely recovered.

    I began training for triathlons to deal with my grief. It had been my mom’s suggestion, but I think it inspired her. Because one morning she made herself go outside, lace up her shoes, and take a run. Later she told me that running gave her something to live for.

    It allowed her to see color in the world and hear birds chirping. She began to compete in triathlons herself, and eventually became a certified coach. Mom’s ultimate goal was always to finish an Ironman competition, but it didn’t seem possible. She failed on four different attempts. Nobody wanted her to try again. She was 68 years old. She was the oldest female competing in Ironman Texas, and they literally thought she could die.

    But Mom was determined to try one more time. I cheered her on the entire way. I walked alongside her while she swam the canal. I biked alongside her while she ran. I remember we were nearing the end of the race, and she had to get to mile eighteen by 9 pm, or she’d be disqualified. I was telling her to pick up the pace. But by then she knew. She looked at her watch, then she looked at me, and said: ‘I’m an hour ahead. I’m going to be an Ironman!”

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/

  • Stop Worrying How Others See You-Inspirational Post

    When you aren’t worrying so much about how others see you, you can show them who you really are.

    Stop worrying how others see you and start looking at how you see yourself, if you see someone who is ugly that’s what others will see, learn to love yourself, there is no one like YOU and that is amazing, you are unique.

    Not everyone will love you, it’s true—but those who do will be loving the real you, not the one you made up for public consumption.

    This you is actually much more interesting, anyway! We lose so much when we trade in authenticity for social approval. We lose our spontaneity and zest for life. We lose confidence in our own judgment and taste. We lose ourselves, sometimes forever. And the world loses the contribution that only we can make.

    You do not need to look like the women inside of fashion magazines, you don’t need to try to hide your face under a ton of make up, You my dear are beautiful just the way you are.

    Be confident, be proud and most of all be brave enough to be the real you, when you larn to be yourself you will not care what others think of you, smile and wave at the bitches that hate, they are just jealous of how happy you are and that you do not care what others think.

    Would you like to share your own true or inspirational story? Are you trying to raise awareness of any topic r would you like us to do so on your behalf? Want to find out our advertising prices for our Facebook page or website? Do you think your new or established blog may be suitable or our site? If so please send us an email to musadviceltd@oulook.com

  • Mums You Are Doing Great

    This stage of life, It’s hard, you guys.

    I’m talking right now to you mums who are in your late 20’s to mid 30’s. You have kids. Likely two, three, maybe four of them. They probably range in age from newborns to 7 or 8 year-olds. (Give or take a few, on all of the above mentioned stats).

    In this stage of life, you are dealing with exhaustion. Mental, physical, and emotional.

    In this stage of life, you are dealing with teething. With ear infections. With stomach viruses. You are juggling nap schedules, and feeding schedules and football, dance, or karate schedules. A million balls you are juggling, and you probably feel like you are dropping most of them.

    In this stage of life, you are dealing with guilt. Guilt over having a career, and not spending enough time with your kids, or guilt over staying home with your kids, and not doing enough to contribute financially. Guilt over being too harsh with your kids. Too lenient. Guilt that your house is clean, but your kids were ignored, or guilt that you enjoyed your children all day, and now your husband is coming home to filth. Guilt.

    In this stage of life, you are bombarded daily with a whole host of decisions. Some of them life-changing, some of them not. None of them with clear-cut answers. Do I vaccinate my kids? Do I not? Do I send them to the local school? school miles away? homeschooled? boarding school? Do I continue to breastfeed? Do I blow the budget so that I can buy all organic? Do I force my child to apologize, even though the apology will be insincere? You don’t know the answers to ANYTHING, but you feel constant pressure to figure out EVERYTHING.

    This stage of life is less and less about watching your friends get married and have babies, and more and more about standing by and witnessing your friends struggle in their marriage, and even get divorced. It’s a stage where you’ve got to put in the time and the effort and the work and the energy to make sure your OWN marriage stays healthy. And that’s good, but it’s hard, too. At this point, you or someone you know has experienced infertility. Miscarriages. Loss of a child.

    It’s a stage where you are buying houses, selling houses, remodeling houses, packing up houses. And then you do it all again a few years later.

    It’s a stage where your hormones are all out of whack. I mean, you’ve basically been pregnant, postpartum, or breastfeeding for the last ten years, right?

    It’s a stage where you are struggling with identity. Is my entire identity “mummy”? Is there anything even left of me that isn’t about mothering? Is there something more glamorous I could have/should have done with my life? I LOOK like a mum now, don’t I? I totally do.

    It’s a stage where you are on a constant quest for balance, and can never find it.

    It’s a stage of life where you are overloaded. Constantly. You are overloaded with questions. Your children never stop asking them. You are overloaded with touch. Someone is constantly wanting to be held, holding on to you, hanging on to you, touching you. You are overloaded with to-do’s. There is so much to do. It never ends. You are overloaded with worry. You are overloaded with THINGS. Your kids have way too many toys. You are overloaded with activities. You are overloaded with THOUGHTS (thoughts about how to not be so overloaded, perhaps?).

    It’s hard.

    So….what do you need to do to survive it all?

    You need to ask for help.

    You need to accept help when it’s given.

    You need to not neglect your marriage. You need to put your kids down for bed early. Sit outside on the patio with your husband, drink a glass of wine, and have a conversation.

    You need girlfriends.

    You need your mum.

    You need older friends, who have been there and done that. Who can reassure you that you AREN’T screwing it all up as badly as you think you are.

    You need to not feel bad about using your kids nap time every now and again to just do whatever the heck you want.

    You need to lower your expectations….then probably lower them again.

    You need to simplify. Simplify every single part of your life, as much as it can be simplified.

    You need to learn how to say “no”.

    You need to practice contentment

    You need to be ok leaving your kids overnight, and going away somewhere. Anywhere.

    You need to do something you enjoy, every day, even if it’s for no more than 15 minutes.

    You need to pray. Girl, you need to pray.

    You need a coffee you love, a wine you love, and a bubble bath that you love.

    Finally, and maybe most importantly, you need to remember that…..

    ….this stage of life is beautiful, too. Like, really really beautiful. This is the stage of life where every single older person you ever meet tells you, “you’re going to miss this”. And you already know it’s true. It’s the stage where your kids love you more than they are EVER going to love you again, for the whole rest of your life. It’s the stage where they can fit their entire selves into your lap to snuggle…and they want to.

    It’s the stage where their biggest problems ARE ear infections and teething and stomach viruses, and you’re not having to deal yet with things like broken hearts or addiction or bullying. It’s the stage where you are learning to love your spouse in an entirely different….harder…..better…. way. The stage where you are learning together, being stretched together, shedding your selfishness together, and TRULY being made into “one”.

    It’s the stage where you get to see Christmas, Halloween through your kids eyes, and it’s so much more fun and magical than it would be just through your own eyes. It’s the stage of life filled with school trips, class parties, costumes, swim lessons, bubble baths, puddle jumping , loose teeth, and first steps. And those things are so fun. It’s the stage where you are young enough to have fun, and old enough to have obtained at least SOME wisdom. It’s SUCH a great stage.

    But, man it’s hard.”

    credit: Austinmomsblog adapted for uk readers

  • Don’t Walk away

    What do you do when you feel like everything is against you, that your constantly sad but you don’t know why.

    That the only way to feel is to drink or to cut.

    When your friends and family are all bored of hearing about how your feeling.

    You know you need help but have no where to turn, your doctor just wants to give you pills, but all they do is dull your senses.

    When all the advice people give you is “you’re better off than others”, “cheer up a bit”, “have you tried being happy”.

    No shit Sherlock do you really think I chose to feel this way?

    What people need to understand is no one with depression wants to feel down or have self loothing.

    Listen to them, support them, and be there for them, do not walk away, do not assume they are attention seeking, love them, help them and be a constant shoulder to cry on