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@emilywhitey
Very proud to be a type 2 mum tbh đ #singlemom #foryoupageâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸ #mumsoftiktok #peppapig #brits #school #momtok #homedecor #decor #morning
@emilywhitey Very proud to be a type 2 mum tbh đ #singlemom #foryoupageâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸ #mumsoftiktok #peppapig #brits #school #momtok #homedecor #decor #morning
Behavior Management and Public Shaming.
I am the father of a teenager. The #1 rule I’ve learned is to not embarrass my teenager in front of their peers.
I get it. I respect that.
Here’s my question. Why do we hang “behavior charts” in public for everyone to see?
Why, when a student is having a hard time, does everyone have to know?
Why does everyone have to be reminded that Billy is struggling, or made a mistake, every time they look at the chart?
Why do we do it?
Why do teachers embarrass their students when they mess up?
How is a kid supposed to feel safe in a classroom where every time they make a mistake, they get embarrassed in front of their peers?
There had been a lot of things Mummy had missed in the last 6 months.
But one thing Mummy had not missed, was trying to keep up with emails from school.
Mummyâs eldest daughter wasnât even due to start back at school until Monday, and she was already fed up of trying to keep up with which location she should drop off and collect her darling offspring, at which time, and trying to work out what she should and shouldnât be sending her to school with.
Mummy felt a little unorganised this year, the annual shopping trip for school uniform had been swapped for a last minute online shop, and thanks to Mummy not being able to concentrate on anything for a twatting second without one of her horrorfus children interrupting her asking for a snack or informing her that someone had done an actual shit on the lawn, Mummy ended up purchasing school shoes which wouldnât be arriving until two weeks after school resumed.
âFuck it all!â Said Mummy when she realised her error. âFuck it all.â She said again as she frantically ordered some of the last shoes remaining online which happened to be the most bastarding expensive shoes in the whole damn sodding world complete with next day delivery.
The shoes arrived.
They didnât look like fifty pounds worth of shoes.
And they would most definitely be lost in the cupboard of doom within two months when warm boot season commenced.
But Mummy dealt with it, because it was her fault for being unorganised.
Finally after a last minute dash over to amazon for name labels, Mummy had got EVERYTHING she needed.
âThank god for prime.â Mummy thought smugly.
Fast forward to today, where Mummy found herself reading a dreaded school informational email which stated that the children would be expected to wear their PE kits for the full day on their designated PE day.
âShit, bugger, bollocks.â Thought Mummy, remembering she had only ordered shorts and a T-Shirt for her little angels PE kit.
Mummy realised she would now need to order tracksuit bottoms, a hoody and a pair of trainers.
âItâs ok!â Thought Mummy, I donât want to see any of my wages this month anyway, I will just go ahead and order MORE PE KIT! All of the PE KIT.
As Mummy once again trawled the internet in attempt to find a bastarding shell suit, smart enough for a day at school but sporty enough to do a few star jumps in the playground, both of her tiny terrorists decided to help theirselves to a bag of crisps, the youngest decided to distribute all of the crisps onto the carpet, whilst the eldest shouted âNOOOOOOO!!! Mummyyy!!!! Looookkkk!!â
âWill you two just shut the fuck up for a single second? Please???â Thought Mummy as she attempted to ignore the chaos unfolding around her.
It was at that very moment when Mummyâs phone began to ping, the ever- so -helpful group chat with fellow mothers from the class began to discuss how the PE days were Thursday AND Friday.
So not only had Mummy spent a bastarding fortune on school shoes that would only be worn three times a week for approximately the next two months.
But she also had to purchase an extra two PE kits.
WITH SODDING NEXT DAY DELIVERY.
Mummy didnât want to come across as a massive moany bitch to all of the other lovely-quite possibly more organised Mummyâs in the group chat, but she couldnât quite help herself from letting out a little âFor fuckity fuck fuck fucking sakes.â
Mummy didnât quite understand, was it her being ever-so-thick? Or could getting changed at school cause a virus to spread?
Mummy was informed that the school were trying to eliminate bags and belongings from home being taken into school.
And Mummy did wonder to herself for a secondâŚwhere the actual shitting hell did the people who made up the rules think Mummy kept her children?
Because her child was allowed to go into school, from her home.
But her twatting PE kit wasnât??
After a couple of minutes, Mummy decided it was all just abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous.
Then Mummy decided to drink a bottle of liquid grapes to get over the whole charade and came to terms with the fact she would probably never-ever financially recover from the purchases of uniform in 2020.
The end.
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If anyone has ordered these dresses from TU Sainsburys, you might have a shock when you wash them!
I washed at 40 like the label says, I even added a colour catcher sheet to be on the safe side, all my daughters dresses went pink (see photo in comments).
Sainsburys refunded me, I ordered them again thinking they might just be a bad batch. Washed at 40, and added 3x colour catcher sheets, they still went pink.
Just wanted to warn you, then they donât ruin all your kids uniform, as I know not everyone pre-washes clothes.
Corona Virus is a smart cookie
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This Corona Virus is the strangest virus I’ve ever heard of. It’s very dangerous the way it spreads. It is so mysterious the way it lurks in schools, but then dies at B&Q. It is sneaky. It can spread when buying clothes at M&S but not at Tesco.
It is non-alcoholic. It can’t spread when you are buying beer. It lives for two days on Amazon boxes, you must wait 48 hours to touch them but It can’t survive on takeaway coffee cups, so enjoying a hot cup of costa is safe. It is the most curious thing, how it lives on footballs, ballet bars, even loo seats but dies on WWE ropes.
It is spread by hair stylists, dog groomers, and dentists, but not by bank tellers, cashiers, and fast food workers. It’s so smart. It wonât bother the first 10 people but it knows when the 11th person shows up so be careful if thatâs you.
It even knows what you want vs what you need. If you want a massage or your nails done it is very actively on the prowl and not even a mask can stop it but If you need a plumber, it is weak, and a mask will keep it away. It also seems to be most dangerous after 5:30pm so businesses must start to close before the virus comes out and wreaks havoc upon the populations. Whoever heard of such a smart sneaky virus?!?
Dear parents in the U.K.,
Today marks six full weeks since our country went into lockdown.
You have had your children home for the same time now that you would if they were on summer holidays. People will say âbut they are your responsibilityâ and whilst that is true, no-one could be expected to have imagined this period before they chose to conceive.
You have protected, nourished, educated, supported and entertained your children during a period of national and international uncertainty and fear. You have experienced emotions for yourself and your family that you never knew existed, never mind experienced before.
Six weeks is a long time.
Think about how you feel at the end of the summer holidays, how ready you are for routine, how badly your house needs cleaned from children home, how much work you are ready to catch up on. Remember that exhausting feeling of having so little sleep, much less money and hearing âmummy/daddyâ every time you happen to sit down.
And you wonder why you are exhausted after six weeks of lockdown?
You are amazing! You have achieved something no other parent ever has during our time. You have faced six weeks unable to take your child or children anywhere, six weeks of no parks, holidays to break up the boredom, no day trips, no family to help. On top of that you have juggled work demands, loneliness on a level never experienced before, information overload from the internet and emotional turmoil of not being able to see people you hold dear. Even getting food to eat has been a major drama!
So itâs ok to feel drained. Itâs ok to feel like you would sell your soul right now for five minutes alone. Itâs ok to feel uninspired about another day of homeschooling, another day of never ending laundry and cooking.
Itâs ok to be so very tired.
Six weeks is a long time.
But you have made it.
Be proud of yourself. Stand tall.
History will show you for your courage, your children will remember this period as a time knowing they were safe and loved and teachers everywhere are deeply grateful that you are there for your children when they should be but canât be.
In short: you are awesome!
And so are your children.
If they cancel the rest of the school year, students would miss approx 6 months of education. Many people are concerned about students falling behind because of this. Yes, they may fall behind when it comes to classroom educationâŚ
BUT WHAT IF âŚ.
What if instead of falling âbehind”, this group of kids are ADVANCED because of this? Hear me out.
What if they have more empathy, they enjoy family connection, they can be more creative and entertain themselves, they love to read, they love to express themselves in writing.
What if they enjoy the simple things, like their own backyard and sitting near a window in the quiet.
What if they notice the birds and the dates the different flowers emerge, and the calming renewal of a gentle rain shower?
What if this generation are the ones to learn to cook, organize their space, do their laundry, and keep a well run home?
What if they learn to stretch a dollar and to live with less?
What if they learn to plan shopping trips and meals at home.
What if they learn the value of eating together as a family and finding the good to share in the small delights of the everyday?
What if they are the ones to place great value on our teachers and educational professionals, librarians, public servants and the previously invisible essential support workers like truck drivers, grocers, cashiers, custodians, logistics, and health care workers and their supporting staff, just to name a few of the millions taking care of us right now while we are sheltered in place?
What if among these children, a great leader emerges who had the benefit of a slower pace and a simpler life to truly learn what really matters in this life?
What if they are AHEAD? đđźđĄâĽď¸đŤ
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âSorry, Iâm just tapped out.â
I said this to one of my kidsâ teachers this morning as she requested a private zoom with my child and I.
At the same time as this, I had two other kids hopping on their google meets, I had to pull my oldest from her work to hold the baby, the kidsâ Dad had a call just starting, and as I struggled with my laptop to even find which Godforsaken link I needed to even click, I was ready to crumble.
The laptop wouldnât connect to the internet. The baby was fussing. My oldest was frustrated I had to pull her from what she was in the middle of. I had noise coming from each room with all the kids trying to, you know, âschoolâ, and it took every fiber of my being not to throw the laptop off the table.
Iâm one person trying to juggle the schedule for 5 kids and everyday I fluctuate between moments of having it together and seriously, well ⌠losing it.
This isnât normal.
Any of it.
Trying to function in the âunfunctionable.â
Thatâs the best way to explain all of this: trying to function in the unfunctionable.
As the teacher immediately noticed my temperament and disposition, she was kind and started by sympathizing to all Iâm attempting to run here. When she asked about a couple lower scores on my daughterâs reading comprehension quizzes, whom by the way throughout the score year has had all high marks, I immediately let go.
âThis is not an environment conducive for learning. Itâs just not. My children have a loving and safe home, but no, itâs not a school. To be honest, most days itâs a shit show. There isnât much peace and quiet through the day, and when one is trying to focus on some level of the house or in a certain room, you can hear another zoom call or herd of cattle coming through in another. So no, sheâs not getting to concentrate nor having things able to completely sink in.â
And you know what? It felt so good to say that.
I wanted to scream it.
I wanted to cry while sharing that.
I wanted to pound my fists on the table after I got it all out.
But I found some last ounce of strength to hold some amount of composure conveying my exhausting frustration.
This all will be over soon. Right?
Or at least I keep telling myself.
This just isnât normal.
Any of it.
Weâre not supposed to be able to turn to our manuals of âliving through a global pandemic and total, utter chaosâ and just snap our fingers and handle this all with grace.
Itâs impossible.
So for those who are looking for their white flags to raise and shake ferociously high in the air, youâre not alone.
Itâs okay to not love this time and feel okay or good about it in every hour of every day.
I canât think about tomorrow or the next day or how Iâm going to get through next week. Iâm literally taking it one day at a time and focusing on surviving the next hour.
Thatâs IT.
This is no longer survival of the fittest.
Itâs survival of those willing to adapt to the most abnormal time of our lives.
If youâre reading this and asking yourself how you can do it, well ⌠good news is, you already are.
It may not always be pretty, but youâre doing it.
Itâs suffice to say that my little breakdown to one of my kidsâ teachers this morning was so well received and so appreciated on her end.
Hereâs to getting one more hour in the books, my Friends.
Thereâs crumbs on my counter.
The dishes need done.
The laundry needs switched.
The dog needs to go out.
The baby needs fed.
A kid needs help on their work.
Thereâs massive bags under my eyes as I havenât slept in 12 years.
I wore this outfit yesterday and to bed and today which is now tomorrow.
Here we go.
Weâre freaking rockstars ⌠every single one of us.
Society to working moms
-Go back to work 6-8 weeks after having the baby. The baby that you spent 9-10 months growing inside of your body. Go back to work before you have finished healing or have had time to bond with your baby. Keep your mind on work, and not your tiny helpless baby that is being watched and cared for by someone other than you. Make sure to break the glass ceiling and excel at your job- you can do anything a man can do! It is your job to show society this! Show the world that women can do it all. Rise to the top of your career.
-Also breastfeed for at least a year. So take 2-3 pumping breaks a day at work, but donât let it throw you off your game or let you lose your focus.
-Also, lose that baby weight and get back in shape, as quickly and as gracefully as possible. Make sure to get 8 hours of sleep a night so you can work out, work, and care for your family. But also get up at 5 am to workout, unless you want to do it after your kids go to bed when you also need to clean the house and get life ready for the next day and you know, sleep.
-Maintain a clean, pinterest worthy house. Take the Christmas lights down. Recycle. Be Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the birthday planner, the poop doula (seriously when will this end), the finder of lost things, the moderator of fights. Be fun. Be firm. Read books. Have dance parties.
-Maintain the schedule for the entire family. Birthday parties coming up? Make sure to have presents! Ensure the kids are learning to swim, play an instrument, read, ride a bike, be a good human being, eat vegetables, wear sunscreen, drink enough water, say please and thank you. Donât forget they need to dress as their favorite book character on Monday, and wear something yellow on Thursday. Oh itâs totally your call but most parents come in on their birthday and read to the entire class. In case nobody told you, if you have more than one kid you will need to buy new shoes approximately every other day. See also: winter coats, shorts, pants that arenât 4 inches too short. There will never be matching socks or gloves for any member of the family, ever again.
-Remember the dog you got before you had kids? Shes getting old now and needs expensive surgery. She also need walking, a new bed, and she smells pretty bad.
-Hey! Kids need lots of doctor appointments. Monthly as babies. Every time they are sick. Specialist appointments, especially if any of them have extra needs. At least two school conferences a year. IEP meetings, if applicable. Parents night. Back to school night. Get to know your school night (what IS this). Most parents are volunteering at least once during the year, would you like to come make a craft with the kids? It will only be an hour or two of your time.
-Sorry, you are now out of vacation time because you used it all for time taking your kids to appointments or when your childcare is unavailable. You should go on vacations though. Itâs good to relax and unwind from work. Makes you a better employee.
-Donât forget the kids need healthy meals (and so do you! you are trying to lose that last 20 lbs before swim season right). That requires meal planning, grocery shopping, and meal prep on the weekend. But also hang out with your kids on the weekend since during the week you only get to hang out with them when they are exhausted and angry that you made the wrong kind of spaghetti for dinner.
-Date your spouse! Itâs important to keep your relationship alive and fresh. Try to go out 1-2 times a month. Good, kid free time. Hire a babysitter, they charge 22+ dollars an hour in your area so make sure to take out an extra mortgage and/or work another job to be able to afford this.
-Oh hey you should have a hobby too. Itâs important to have âyou timeâ. Also be well read, keep up with the latest pop culture and tv shows, and keep an eye on politics and be able to discuss at least one of the above on the small chance you are out in public and encounter another adult necessitating small talk.
-Make sure to have friends. Social time is SO important. Surely there is an hour or two left in the week after all of the working, appointments, exercising, cooking, scheduling, cleaning, imparting lifelong morals and learning on the kids, the usual. Maybe go out after the kids are down for a glass of wine and a bite to eat. Make it a healthy bite though. And you may regret that wine at your 530 am spin class.
-Self care though. SO important. See also: getting in shape. See the general doctor, the dentist (TWICE), the lady doctor. Prob need to get your eyes checked. Full body skin checks 2+ times a year (just me? okay well). Mental health too. Postpartum anxiety? But you look fine and your kids are so cute. Everyone should have a therapist. Good luck finding one that takes your insurance and has hours outside of your normal working time (out of vacation time, remember?). That leaves evening time when you want to hang out with your kids. But itâs important, so make time for it.null
-Donât wear yoga pants and a mom bun or society is going to mock you in numerous witty blog posts. Never mind that nothing fits. Going to have to get up even earlier so you have time to style your hair, wing your eye liner and search for a pair of pants that fits your new post baby (or multiple b