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Tag: rejection

  • Imagine Feeling So Lost You Hug A Stranger

    PARENTS.

    A handful of us went to the Pittsburgh Pride Parade today, sporting our FREE DAD HUGS and FREE MOM HUGS t-shirts. We gave out hundreds of hugs. Hundreds. Some were super happy hugs. But others were like these two… and there were way too many like them.

    Let me tell you about these two.

    He was kicked out at 19 when his parents found out. They haven’t spoken to him since. He cried on my shoulder. Sobbed. Squeezed me with everything he had. I felt a tiny bit of that pain that he carries with him every minute of every day. He was abandoned because of who he loves. And on June 9th, 2019, he was participating in a celebration of love when he was brought to his emotional knees by a shirt that said “FREE DAD HUGS” on a complete stranger.

    Her story? I don’t know the specifics. But I know that she saw me from across the street. I wasn’t paying attention. By the time she got to me, she had tears in her eyes. She stood in front of me and looked up at me, with a look of sadness and helplessness that I’ll never forget. She hugged me with everything she had. And I hugged her back.

    She held on for so long, melting into me, and thanked me endlessly. And I can’t stop thinking about her. What she must be going thru with her family… the ones who are supposed to be there for her no matter what. Who does she go to when she needs advice on love, money or just life? Who does she share old memories with that only her parents would have been there for? What are her holidays like? How often does she hope for that phone call, with unconditional love on the other end? I don’t know her story. But it doesn’t feel like a huge leap to assume she’s lost those who should love her the most and forever.

    Imagine that, parents. Imagine that your child feels SO LOST FROM YOU that they sink into the arms of a complete stranger and sob endlessly just because that stranger is wearing a shirt offering hugs from a dad. Think of the depths of their pain. Try to imagine how deep those cuts must be.

    Please don’t be the parent of a child that has to shoulder that burden. I met WAY too many of them, of all ages, today.

    And if by chance anyone knows these folks, please let them know they can reach out any time they need a surrogate dad to talk to. I’ll be there.

     

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/howiedittman

     

  • Single Parents Are The Hardest To Love

    Single Parents Are The Hardest To Love

    There’s no hiding that there’s a stigma attached to single mums; they’re damaged goods, carry baggage, blah blah. 

    Like, what? This is 2017, guys. 

    It gets a little frustrating when you’re mid conversation and you mention your children to just be ignored or pushed to the back of the queue for ‘desperate’ times.

    As if women didn’t get enough stick for jumping to conclusions, men assume we need a father figure for our child, someone to breadwin and provide and to be taken under their wing.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No. We don’t. 

    We’ve taken rejection, we’ve had to stay strong even when we wanted to fall apart, we have to put someone before us every single day with no questions asked, we’ve had to manage money when times are tough and we’re experts at organising. 

    You see, we don’t need you. We want you. 

    There is a very big difference. 

    Living without a man is easier than living with one, I can assure you – one less person to tidy up after, ten less garments of clothing to wash, one less battle you have about who uses the bathroom the longest in the mornings, you get the jist. 

    That said, we’re still human; we love harder than anybody and we put up a good fight for the people we love and who are closest to us, but the longer we’re single, the harder we are to be loved. 

    When you’re so used to neglecting yourself for others and putting yourself last, you find it hard to make room for anybody else.

    So let’s get this clear – we choose you to be a part of our lives, you don’t choose us. 

    Credt: https://theunicorninblack.com/

     

  • How do you manage when you don’t want your child?

    How do you manage when you don’t want your child? How do you carry on for the sake of social expectation when in reality you don’t want him.

    It started with a moment of a toddler

    Screaming, kicking punching all to get away from me

    To be with someone else

    Someone who isn’t his mother

    As soon as he was away from me he was fine
    “He hates me”

    I asked my mum to keep him

    “I won’t make him be unhappy just by being with me” he deserves every happiness in the world and more. But I can’t provide that for him
    How do you get over the feeling of overwhelming guilt that comes from saying such a horrible thing
    How can you ever NOT want your own child?
    Only time will tell