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  • I Just Don’t Know What’s Wrong With Me

    I had a friend reach out to me this morning, she had a baby 2 weeks ago, was in tears, and didn’t know what to do.
    “Nikki, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me…”
    And I remember feeling JUST like that. There was something wrong with me. Society paints this beautiful picture of bringing a baby home and everything being sweet and loving.
    Except that’s not reality.


    You get home with this little life that is COMPLETELY dependent on you.
    You come home with this body that is so foreign you’re not entirely sure it’s yours. A stomach that still looks 5 months pregnant, breasts that may or may not be leaking, stitches in places you never thought possible, and cramps like you can’t believe.


    You come home having your body literally ripped apart to give life. With the hormones progesterone and estrogen plummeting causing changes in your brain chemistry.
    You come home already exhausted and then have to be awake every two hours. Yet somehow you have to recover from birth, be a mom to your other children, clean the house, and somewhere love your partner. All while just wanting to sleep for a year.


    You come home and are somehow expected to know what to do, how to do it, and love every second of it.
    At my 6 week check up they handed me a piece of paper that asked whether I was a harm to myself or my baby. With neat little check boxes. I wasn’t in danger of harming myself or my child so obviously I was okay.
    Except I wasn’t.
    It asked whether I felt distant from my child, having trouble connecting with her.
    I didn’t.


    The thing was, I felt distant from everyone BUT her. I felt like we were on a little raft together floating in the middle of the ocean surrounded by thundering waves. I felt inadequate. Like I was gonna fuck it all up in the next minute. I felt unappreciated. Like this was just my life now. I was just a dairy cow, here for my child’s nourishment and that’s all I was. I felt overwhelmed with her need for me, and only me. No one else made her happy and I found some way to make it a bad thing and make it my fault. I felt like anyone would be better for my family. Like they would be better off without me.

    I got all sorts of dark and twisty and overwhelmed in my head.
    This is Post Partum Depression. And over 85% of women do not report these feelings because society has somehow convinced us that there is something wrong with us if we don’t love every second of motherhood. These are feelings that are NATURAL after giving birth. And the best part is most cases get better just by talking about it. Just talking. Call a friend. Call your mom. Tell your partner. TELL YOUR DOCTOR. Because you do NOT deserve to feel this way. You are NOT a bad mother for having these feelings. You are NOT broken.

    You’re a Mama. And damn it you created LIFE in that body.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/nicole.r.wagener

  • How Did Your Body Become A Stranger

    No one really prepares you for what it’s like not to have your baby inside you anymore. All of a sudden, you look and feel different. How did your body become a stranger?

    Your stomach is loose and striped. Your boobs are saggy, one more than the other. Hair unwashed, bags under your eyes. Even your hips are wider than before. Who is this woman looking back at you in the mirror?

    She is a mother.

    She sacrificed her body and mind for another being. She grew life, she brought it into this world and now she continues to sustain it. This body, this unfamiliar body, is amazing! The things it’s done, the pain its endured all made it stronger. She should not be ashamed of her body for her body is incredible.

    You are amazing. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are more than enough.

    You are a mother.

    ~ Author: Unknown

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  • Things Post Baby That No One Talks About

    T H I N G S P O S T B A B Y

    After just turning 22 when I had my first baby I had no idea about what women go through “after birth” but I wish someone would have told me what happens when you’ve just had a human… so without being to descriptive I am happy to help a sister out + say what no one else is willing to say

    •Maternity Pads (aka surf boards) are totally uncomfortable but totally necessary because after those nine months that you didn’t have a period (which at the time was brilliant) its like someone finally opened the flood gates, especially in those first few postpartum days.

    •downstairs will be sore especially if you tore or had an episiotomy from one end to the other like yours truly but ask for ice (yes ice downstairs) trust me it makes it bearable until it is bearable!!!

    • The after pains. When your stretched uterus starts to shrink down. It’s Pain. Who knew? I didn’t & it wasn’t until I had my second that I became aware of these bad boys + for me it got worse with each baby.

    • Your first wee. OMG. You will feel scared as shi% but it’s not as scary as the first poo + don’t worry your bits will still be able to do its job.

    • The first poo. The nurses will ask if you have had a bowel movement + you will feel the pressure maybe even get stage fright but mostly I mean you will be so scared but don’t panic. You are not having another baby. It just feels that way. But just remember you pushed out a human and the prospect of pushing out what’s in the back bit won’t be quite so daunting. Your bum is not falling out. Or it might be. If you have piles. Which you probably do… while on the topic of poo it could be the opposite, constipation after birth, it really happens + chances are it will happen to you but don’t be embarrassed happens to most women for many reasons but Try to eat high-fibre foods, especially fruit + drink plenty of fluids

    • If you have a c-section + that first time you have to stand up, It’s like your insides are going to feel like they are going to fall out. That first time standing can be brutal & even leave you feeling nauseous but I promise it does get better and your insides won’t fall out!!!.

    Oh + just a side note if you don’t have high underwear (aka granny undies) get some so you have them higher than your scar!!!

    •Your first shower will be like heaven. You will feel human again. Normal again. I know this sounds slightly dramatic but it’s the truth!

    • You will say the words ” Breast is Best” and be asked a billion time “Are you breastfeeding?” but just remember “fed is best” + do what makes you feel comfortable, what’s best for you & your baby.

    • The hospital food sucks. Yep that’s it. No more of a description needed then that.

    • Your once hard round beautiful belly will now more than likely resembles more a balloon that’s slowly deflating and you will be left feeling like your still 5 months pregnant.

    * Day 2 or 3 (well that’s when it was for me) your hormones will be raging, your emotions will be at an all time high & you will just cry, cry because your happy, cry because your overwhelmed, cry because you feel guilty, because you’re missing your other babies at home… but you will settle & if you don’t then please speak to your health care professional.

    So beautiful Mumma’s our parting words are don’t stress and worry, you’re not going to know everything and every baby is different also note to self; There is no such thing as normal, and there is no such thing as “the right way”. You are your baby’s normal. You are your baby’s right way. They aren’t judging you. They are completely reliant on you and being responsible for another human being is not a piece of cake. It’s a piece of ‘oh my god I can’t do this’. You can. And everyday will get easier. You will find your groove. Breath mummy. You just grew and pushed out. So be gentle with yourself.

    Full credit goes to:

    https://www.facebook.com/bumpbabyandcoau/

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  • Postmen Should Be Fined For Risking Animals Lives

    Postmen should be fined for risking animals lives, I for one am totally fed up of lazy inconsiderate postmen who litter our homes and gardens.

    Three times this month my regular pot man has dropped elastic bands on my driveway or along the pavement, I have spoken to him twice already and asked him to stop littering the neighbourhood and he simply shrugged his shoulders and said there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

    Well today the stupid man dropped them again after delivering the mail, my cat Pebbles found it before I did and was playing with it, Pebbles got the elastic band stuck in her tiny throat and nearly choked to death, luckily I was able to dislodge it and rushed my poor little feline to the vets where she was given the all clear, thank god.

    I phoned the post office headquarters and they weren’t even bothered, they couldn’t even apologise, all they could say was unfortunately sometimes elastic bands are dropped or fall out of the post-bag and the post workers aren’t even aware.

    These elastic bands are a health hazard, they can wash into drains and kill sea creatures and choke or strangle domestic, farm or stray animals, something has to be done about it before it’s to late.

    I am sickened with the post office, my cat coud have died because of irresponsible littering, I called 101 to report littering and the risk to animals and again they said they could’t do anything either, how can they get away with this, if i were to drop rubbish in the street i would be fined. Postmen should be fined also and trained to respect the neighbourhoods they deliver to.

    Emailled in by Petra Dixonson

    To share your own story or to raise awareness of any topic please email us at mumsadviceltd@outlook.com

  • Should We Post Embarrassing Pictures Of Our Children

    Should we post embarrassing pictures of our children onto social media platforms like, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and snapchat.

    Your little ones are so funny, so cute and so mischievous, and parents regularly capture precious moments onto their phones cameras.

    But should we post embarrassing pictures of our children online?

    You know the ones I’m talking about, the two-year old who has smeared poop all over themselves, the little boy covered in make up, the girl with a toilet seat stuck on their head.

    Now I love seeing these photos, they make me smile and even laugh.

    But after speaking with a friend I’m in two minds whether or not we should share these images online, this is what she said to me:

    “imagine your child seeing that photo in years to come, imagine a bully finding it on social media and sharing with all of their peers, embarrassing photos should be for family photo albums only not for the entire internet”.

    Now that got me thinking should we post embarrassing pictures online, are we going to wound our children when they are all grown? are our children going to hate us for posting their childhood stupidity for the world to see?

    I regularly attend a breast-feeding support group and put this debate to them, the majority disagreed with the statement and said it was harmless and every parent embarrasses their child at some point in their life, a few mums didn’t agree with posting any photos at all online.

    So I decided I would ask my children what they thought, I was met with shrugs and mehs from my 4 and 6 year old until I asked my 11-year-old and he said he would not be happy with photos of him online, even as an infant which could cause embarrassment.

    I have now decided any photo which could cause embarrassment or shame are to be printed off and kept in our family album and only pulled out to embarrass my child face to face.

    What do you feel? Is it something personal or are you happy to share on social media, can it affect a child when they grow?

    Let us know your thoughts In the comments

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  • How do you manage when you don’t want your child?

    How do you manage when you don’t want your child? How do you carry on for the sake of social expectation when in reality you don’t want him.

    It started with a moment of a toddler

    Screaming, kicking punching all to get away from me

    To be with someone else

    Someone who isn’t his mother

    As soon as he was away from me he was fine
    “He hates me”

    I asked my mum to keep him

    “I won’t make him be unhappy just by being with me” he deserves every happiness in the world and more. But I can’t provide that for him
    How do you get over the feeling of overwhelming guilt that comes from saying such a horrible thing
    How can you ever NOT want your own child?
    Only time will tell

  • It’s a bad day, not a bad life.

    Not every day is easy

    Not every day is a “good day”

    Today is one of them days

    The feelings of helplessness because you can’t settle your baby

    They soon turn into feelings of guilt and doubt

    “Why can’t I settle her, what am I doing so wrong”

    Then the toddler starts being mischievous and a general toddler “why can’t he just behave, why does he have to touch everything I tell him not to”

    Again, feelings of guilt – these children deserve better than what you’re providing

    The added stress social media causes because I have the overwhelming need to ‘prove’ to a bunch of strangers, friends and everything in between that I’m coping and that I have this whole parenting thing under control

    Assuming those closest to you are judging you when you’re honest about not coping, or assuming they can see through your mask of lies

    Asking my mum to take the kids so I can attend to my personal hygiene and housework – again cue the overwhelming guilt that I’m not spending enough time with my own children

    My husband returns from work, only for me to thrust the children on to him so I can start tea, in my head trying to justify it as acceptable because I’m cooking everyone their tea and feeding them like the good wife and mother

    But this guilt returns “he’s had a hard day at work, providing for his family. Give the man a break”

    In hindsight, I can recognise that I’m my own biggest critic and it is my presumptions that cause the guilt and not in fact anybody’s opinion. I also recognise that I overlook the good moments on a bad day and don’t give myself the credit that overall, I’ve managed and today is just one day

    It’s a bad day, not a bad life.