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  • Hey Men Do You Wonder Why Your Partner Is A Little Cranky?

    Wondering why your partner is feeling a little cranky lately?

    Wonder why when you’re tapping your wife late at night and she doesn’t move, or looks over at you like you’re George Pell’s lawyer (you piece of shit)

    It’s not because she’s as hairy as a yeti and isn’t interested in sex.

    Oh, contraire mon amie. On contraire. Us women, we love it.

    No it’s because she’s exhausted. But I know you know that… I mean I know you’ve heard her say it a million times but I’m going to break it down for you as to why she’s so exhausted and what she means when she’s saying to your little angels “no sweetheart, mummy can’t read you another 5 books because mummy has to go hang the clothes otherwise no one will have laundry! Ha ha 😒”

    Because her mental load is bigger than your washing pile… and on top of that, there’s a load of cleaning to do.

    Every day and every night.

    Before you go to tap her on the shoulder because your peen is doing the electric boogaloo in your pants, ask yourself… have I helped out today?

    Or Have I eaten dinner and then disappeared to the toilet for five hours as soon as I was done and conveniently missed all the dishes being done?

    Or have I sulked like a toddler because I had work today and will do a real shitty job so no one asks me again?

    Because I’m pretty sure that’s the reason she snaps at you and everyone else like a rubber band.

    Because making the doctors appointments, the dentists, organising the bills, gift buying, school meetings, socialising, and WORKING- uh I’m tired making this list, isn’t enough for her load, she’s gotta cook dinner too and then clean up afterwards as well.

    And that toilet you’re talking a long ass shit on? Guess who’s scrubbing your skiddies? You got it in one!

    So why doesn’t she ask for help? “Ohhh if she wants help she’s just gotta say it” (insert stupid voice here)

    Because mate, she shouldn’t have to ask you, or anyone in the bloody house.

    Do you live here? Do you eat off that plate? So it’s your job too honey.

    She doesn’t need to remind you, tell you, or give you a list, because you’re an adult who lives in a house… together! Crazy, I know! 🤭 And it’s also crazy because, no ones giving her lists, because last I checked, with or without glasses, we can all see the fucking mess, so why is it only one of us is concerned while the other one walks over it like they’re going on a bear hunt?

    Say it with me real slow okay…if 👏🏻 your 👏🏻 wife 👏🏻 does 👏🏻more 👏🏻doesn’t 👏🏻 mean 👏🏻 you 👏🏻 do 👏🏻 less 👏🏻🖕🏻(sorry finger slipped)

    And when you feel that urge to sit down when the house is a bomb site, fight it, fight it real hard, because otherwise, you’ll be fighting for your relationship, and there are plenty of others out there that can control their bowel movements until after they’ve finished clearing the dinner table. 😉

    ❤️

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/themumontherun/

     

  • How To Be A Supportive Partner During The Becoming Parents Phase

    “I’m now 29 and have 3 kids with my wife, Franziska, who carried and birthed them all like a pro. Here’s what I would tell my childless 24-year-old self about how to be a supportive partner during the ‘becoming parents’ phase:

    1. Wifey carried baby IN her belly for 9 months. So, you carry baby ON your belly for 9 months every chance you get. Not only does it help her recover but it bonds you to your kid more than imaginable.

    2. Wifey is breastfeeding and–while beautiful and fulfilling for her–it’s exhausting. So, you change EVERY diaper you can. From diaper #1 onward. You will get over the grossness fast. And you will prevent imbalances and resentment in the relationship; in fact, when all your wife’s friends are complaining about how absent and unsupportive their husbands are, your wife will be bragging about you.

    3. Make her the decaf coffee every morning. Even if she leaves it cold and forgets to drink it most mornings because she falls back asleep while you’re working or (later) taking the kids to school. She was up all night feeding the baby so help start her day in a way that helps her reset.

    4. Tell her she is beautiful and help her see that in the moments when she is feeling most self-critical and hopeless about her body. Remind her of times when she achieved goals in the past. Remind her she is a superhero. She literally just moved all her organs around and gained 20 + pounds to give you a child that will be a gift to you for the rest of your life. Help her see past her body image issues and stay focused on a positive goal, one day at a time.

    5. Take the heat. Hormones are crazy, both pre and post birth. She won’t seem like herself every day and sometimes she will say things she wouldn’t say if she didn’t feel like she was hungover, caffeinated, and on steroids every day. Remember your job is to be her rock through all of this, so toughen up and keep perspective when her tongue is sharper than you know her best self intends. Normal will return soon and you want her to be grateful that you kept it together when she wasn’t, not resentful and disappointed that you hijacked her emotions by making her problems yours.”

    Credit: Ted Gonder

     

  • Why Doesn’t She Just Leave

    Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

    Because he has her so brainwashed that it’s all her fault and that she’s no good to anyone and no one will want her or love her and there’s no way she can possibly make it on her own.

    Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

    Because she thinks that if she just tries harder and if she’s a better wife and a better mom that maybe he will be happy with her and he wouldn’t get so angry with her. And maybe he will be the same sweet, charming man that he was when they first met.

    Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

    Because he has her convinced that if she tries he will hurt or kill her or her family. Because he has threatened to tell the judge that she is a bad mom and will take away her kids and she will never see them again. Because he has taken away her money and convinced her that she has no good job qualities to make it on her own financially and she will always need him.

    More people are concerned with why women stay in abusive relationships than why men are abusing women. Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship people have no idea how hard it is to escape. Abusers are able to fool those outside the home because they usually only abuse those inside the home.

    They need your support.

    They need your love.

    They do not need your judgement.

    Let’s raise awareness 💜

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/slimmingandinchloss

     

  • I Married A Bully But My Daughter Got A Worse Deal

    I married a bully.

    I married a piss poor excuse of a man that started slapping me after the first year. He then went on to constantly give me black eyes, break my nose and even shove a glass in my face. Jade was only a little girl, but she saw some of it, and when she was at the age of 4 or 5 I left him. He started turning the light off and back on again because he knew it scared her. He could do what he liked to me but I would never cry. His only way to really get to me was through Jade. That was enough for me to exit that marriage, so we left. I left my own house and a lot of what was in it just to get away from that scumbag; I was not prepared to put her in danger.

    Jade knew what was going on and as she grew she wasn’t going to let anyone treat her the way I had been treated. She’d seen the pain I’d had to go through and the pills the doctor put me on because of the state I was in. Valium, Amitriptyline, Prozac… You name it, I’ve been on it.

    At the ripe old age of 26 I was a wreck. Beaten black and blue for years by a piece of shit whose aim in life was to kick fuck out of someone he professed to love. He’d cover me in ‘love’ bites and scrawl big purple welts down my back. HIS marks!

    So, Jade steered clear of scum like him. Then she met someone she hadn’t seen for years and started dating him. It lasted about 7 months from start to finish. He wanted her to settle down, have kids etc but that’s not what she wanted. Jade was loving life. She loved her job, had her own house, new car, went on different holidays around the world, loved her family and her friends. Life couldn’t have been better for her.

    Jump forward to today…

    6 years ago today, at around this time 5:45pm, Jade sat on my sofa and told me her new ‘man’ was jealous, possessive and that she had finished with ‘him’ but not told him. She said she wanted to ‘break away gently’, so had told him she wanted a little space. I told her he would hit her. I know the signs; been there, done that. She said she didn’t think he would.

    I never saw her again because 2 days later she was dead.

    Backed into her own kitchen, stabbed 96 times with at least 4 of her own kitchen knives, while he screamed at her ‘that’s what you get for being a slag’. The filthy, murdering bastard thought she was seeing someone else, when all along she wanted a little peace away from his demands. And away from that bitch of a mother of his who supplied the bullets for the murderers imaginary gun.

    He made such a mess of Jade that I never got to say goodbye. I wasn’t able to see her because he shredded her; something his mother saw and hope she sees every single night when she closes her eyes and every single morning when she opens them.

    I don’t dwell on those scumbags, but they are still breathing, so I hope they both suffer a long, excruciatingly painful death. And I hope Jade haunts them every rotten day they are on this Earth, but she won’t. Because Jade was lovely and wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing.

    So, my darling Jade, I will be reading my cards in a moment and hoping you will come to me for a little while. I miss you so bad and regardless of what people say, it doesn’t get any easier.

    Keep on dancing up there

    xxx <3 xxx

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/maria.rileyward.3

     

  • Later In Marriage When You Hit Parenthood

    Later in marriage when you hit parenthood, you’ll realize what you really wish for in your spouse is not big money or ‘six-pack’. A pretty face and a good bank account are nice to have but at the end of the day, there’s so much more you should be looking for.

    At 3am when your child is crying, and your eyes are heavy and your body is weak for postpartum, it will not be how he looks or what he owns that will matter. It’ll be the compassion in his heart and the love for you in his soul that push him out of the bed to attend the child immediately and tell you,

    “Go back to sleep, love. I got this.”

    If I could tell the younger people what to consider in a companion, I would say marry the man who will be the best father for your children. The man who will put you and your little family first, above all else. The man who is as responsible as you are in raising family because you both are in it together. In short, marry the person who will set a standard for a spouse in your children.

    Because in all of these, whenever you watch your partner with your child, you’ll find yourself falling in love all over again.

    Choose wisely, not only for you but also for your child.

    -Coffee Astronaut

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/amber.elmore7

     

  • Anxiety isn’t just chest pains, crying, and the inability to relax

    Anxiety isn’t just chest pains, crying, and the inability to relax.

    It’s biting your nails until they bleed, then picking off the skin on your fingers once you’re out of nails to bite.

    It’s driving to the store only to sit in the parking lot for 20 minutes before turning back around, without even going inside.

    It’s getting a text message and forgetting to respond promptly, so instead of responding explaining you were busy, you leave the notification there for days, weeks, even months, getting a knot in your stomach every time you scroll past it or every time that person’s name comes up.

    It’s hearing a noise and planning in your mind where you’ll hide, what doors you’ll lock, and how you’ll secretly call for help if someone broke into your house.

    It’s asking your partner several times a day if they love you, partially kidding, but mostly needing to hear it because you find it so hard to love yourself in that moment.

    It’s putting off washing the dishes until there’s no dishes left, but then feeling overwhelmed by how many dishes there are to wash, so you just leave them another day.

    It’s understanding that what you’re worrying about is often irrational and not as extreme as your reaction warrants, but not being able to control your response. Often times, it even means you CAN’T understand that what you’re worrying about is irrational or not as extreme as your reaction warrants.

    Anxiety isn’t just chest pains, crying, and the inability to relax. It’s taking everyday parts of life and intensifying the excitement or fear they result in times a thousand, to the point that they seem impossible to face. Some days are more manageable than others, and it’s on those days I try to remind myself that I CAN get through whatever anxiety throws my way.

    It’s hard for me to share this and a little embarrassing to include this picture, but if even one person finds comfort in knowing they’re not alone in this, then I’m going to push past my comfort zones to do that. Feel free to share with family and friends let’s help one another.

  • Labour Is Hard On Birth Partners Too

    People look at me like I have two heads when I dare to utter the words ‘Labour is hard on birth partners too’

    .

    ‘WTF is she on about?!’ Their faces say. ‘Doesn’t she know it’s ME who’s pushing a human out of my vagina?!’

    .

    Well yep. I know that’s true, and having done it twice, I know the intensity of if from our perspective (and trust me when I say I’ll equip you to work with that intensity, using the power of your body and mind) BUT, I have also seen and heard how difficult it can be for those supporting us. More so when THEY are unprepared and unsure of their role.

    .

    Imagine seeing the person you love most working so hard, in some level of discomfort and not knowing you can help in loads of ways!

    .

    Even when they are prepared and full of confidence, it’s an experience which draws upon all of your resources for both of you. Birth partners don’t have the same level of hormonal high to boost them either. Together though, you can smash this birth thing. If he knows what you want and need, and has a variety of tools to offer you along the way, you both have purpose in the birth room, you work well as a team, you feel safer and more relaxed, and Birth is easier.

    📷 @photosbylei

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/steph.doitlikeamother/

     

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  • Don’t Forget To Care For Your Wife/Girlfriend

    I finally told my husband last night that he’s failed to realize I’ve been taking a shower only once a week. He felt pretty bad. That everyone always forgets to care for momma after baby is born and even later when baby is 6 months old.

    I told him no one looks out for me to see if I’m doing okay because they are so wrapped up in making sure baby is okay and or themselves. He didn’t offer to help until he was all done with his nice long shower and potty session which goes uninterrupted.

    I let him know though. I said how am I supposed to feel pretty when I’ve been unnoticed for so long? He couldn’t say anything really except that he apologizes for not appreciating me more.

    Deep down it’s more than that for me. He asked what he can do to help and I told him to offer to take her more when ever he can because I need my breaks. Not just once a day breaks either.

    Mums do not be ashamed to voice how you feel, if you are overwhelmed, tired or need extra help say something, unfortunately some men don’t notice how much you do or how hard you are finding things, point them out let them know, sometimes a little chat can make a lot of big changes happen.

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  • Us Men Take For Granted The Ultimate Sacrifice Women Make

    As Men we often take for granted the ultimate sacrifice women have to make during the 9 month pregnancy process. Her body will go through unbelievable changes. She will be at risk of several different serious health issues. Her eating habits will increase. Her moods will swing. Her sleeping patterns will adjust, not forgetting the heartburn, vomiting, fatigue and the fact all her organs are moved to one side to make room for our growing child.

    Her self-esteem will take a hit, she will worry constantly about our growing baby, about the whole birth process, she will be scared of what sort of mum she may be, she will stress that she needs to buy more and be more prepared for the new arrival. And most importantly her life will be at risk.

    But we unfairly expect her body to snap back into place like it’s nothing. She will be left with battle marks and scars. She will try to hide them. She will struggle everyday with the feeling of if she is attractive enough. But the reality is, she has sacrificed her body and vanity to bring a life into this world. We should cherish her, compliment her daily and let her know that she is even more beautiful now than before, we must help her as much as we can and be the bet father and partner that we possibly can.

    Credit goes to Chris Perry and Mums advice

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  • To The Other Woman Who Ran Off With The Love Of My Life

    To the other woman:

    I hated you. I watched you run off with the love of my life, happily and shamelessly showing the world what you had done. It took me weeks to realize that the infidelity had been going on long before our relationship ended. It took me months to realize that my pain and tears were used as a device to manufacture your sympathy. And now, it will take me years to recover from the insecurity that comes from being triangulated with another woman.

    But I do not hate you anymore. I fear for you.

    Although we share different personalities, bodies, and spirits – when it comes to this relationship, we are the same woman.

    You see, I once rode the high that you’re currently living. I was the special one. The most beautiful, perfect, flawless partner in the world. I saved him from the pain of his last, crazy ex. I sympathized with him about how horribly she treated him, according to him. I was elated to be the woman who finally made him happy, after all of his alleged suffering. He was fascinated by me. He spent every waking moment texting me and showering me with attention.

    Does this sound familiar?

    One must wonder, in this short span of time, how I suddenly became crazy. Bipolar. Jealous. Needy. Clingy. Abusive. How did that happen? Is it really possible for a person to go from flawless to horrible in the blink of an eye? And furthermore, is it really possible that his previous ex was all of these things as well? And what about the ex before that?

    The common denominator has become startlingly clear.

    For so long, I punished myself. I truly believed that I deserved it. Something must be wrong with me, I thought, in order for him to run off into the sunset with another woman. So happily and enthusiastically.

    But then I realized, I was once that woman. I was you.

    And because of that, I understand that I can never save you from this nightmare. Psychopathic victims cannot escape once they have been groomed. For the rest of your relationship, you will deny reality and invent reasons that you might be the exception. You will lie to yourself, desperately trying to recreate your perfect dream. But ever so slowly, your identity will begin to fall apart. Like sandpaper, he will push your boundaries until you don’t even know who you are anymore.

    Another woman will enter the scene. It is inevitable in relationships with narcissistic men. You will be strung along for as long as possible, as I once was. Your increasingly volatile reactions will be used against you, to evoke sympathy from the new target.

    And eventually, you will be me.

    This is why I fear for you. I would not wish the pain & suffering I’ve experienced on anyone. I know that your intentions were not malicious. I know that you were being spoon-fed the exact same lies I believed a long time ago.

    The story you’ve been told is false. It was a pity ploy, designed to enhance your fairytale and consume your heart. You will not believe that today, but someday this letter will make sense. Brutal, heartbreaking sense.

    I can only hope that the aftermath of your abuse might be guided by this letter. I can only hope that this might provide you with the tools that I was never given. A puzzle piece, to jumpstart your journey.

    I do not hate you. That is what he would want.

    Psychopathic mind games are invincible to everything but love. I will not carry on his legacy by taking part in these triangles anymore, injecting jealousy & hatred to fill the void of his soul.

    I’ve made it through to the other side, and I know you can too. Please have the same empathy for the woman who replaces you. We can only ever stop this cycle of abuse with compassion for one another. By recognizing that all human beings deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, and honesty. By recognizing that there is no other woman – we are all that woman.

    Wishing you love, hope, and above all: freedom.

    original source unknown