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  • These Are My Hope Marks- It Represents So Much

    “I once was her, the “one,” waiting, wishing, hoping to be a Mother. Finding out I was finally going to be a Mom was one most incredible feelings. It didn’t matter whether I was going to give birth naturally or have a cesarean (we are all rockstars btw). And it didn’t matter that my body was going to change drastically. I was finally going to be a Mom, a Mom to triplets! And although I never imagined my body would look the way it does now, it represents so much more.

    There is a lot of extra skin, stretch marks, sag and wrinkles. And while my new Mom body may be hard to love sometimes, it is a new me that represents the power of the female body and the miracle of carrying three babies.

    I call my postpartum marks my “Hope wounds” and they have taught me a greater meaning of self-love and appreciation for my body. There is empowerment for yourself in loving yourself.

    Our postpartum marks are stories of hope, stories of love, and sometimes stories of loss. There is so much beauty in our Mom bodies because above all they represent life, our children, and the undeniable love we have for them.

    For the “one”somewhere wishing, hoping, praying for her miracle, this is for you. May you have hope in your journey and be reminded that you are never alone.

    And to all the Mama’s struggling to love themselves: you’re beautiful, strong, and may you be empowered to love yourself a little more today!!”

    credit to the The Fortin Trio

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  • Social Services Have Taken My Heart I Want My Baby Back

     

     

    Kerry Blackaller is currently going through hell her little angel her only daughter has been removed from her care and she is fighting to get her back.

    Blackaller said “Well since 8 this morning I’ve been trying to find the right words. This is the best I could do. 11 months ago today was the happiest day of my Life. You completed me finally after all these years. Some time passed in that time we passed I lost my battle to keep you with me. Please believe me it was not my fault I did everything in my power.

    Unfortunately the system let me and you both down. Since you’ve been gone I still have fought for you every day. My days have been bad but this day has hit me like a ton of bricks. Every month you was a month older we always used to do something. This month we can’t 💔 furthermore I’m now realising its only one month away until your first birthday and I’m dreading that day coming.

    Social Services Have Taken My Heart I Want My Baby Back
    Social Services Have Taken My Heart I Want My Baby Back

    Lyla baby my life is just not the same without you here. I don’t want to get up in the mornings, The fight I have left in me is minimal, but of course for you I’m not giving up and still somehow going. You are the only reason right now that I breathe. What I would give to hear a silly little cry or a moan or the smell of a stinky nappy.

    To just feel your presence and your arms around my neck, your head on my chest, your hands in mine, to hear the most amazing sound of all that beautiful laugh of yours, to feel your heart beat next to mine, to see the worlds most captivating smile, to feel the most beautiful skin I’ve ever felt, most of all the best sound I have ever heard in my life, you in the morning rocking the cot and calling MUM. I have deep trouble accepting the fact that your gone. How you’ll now call

    Someone else mum, how I won’t get to see you flourish and grow anymore, your 1st day at nursery, then big girl school, to know if your hurt or sad, jobs, friends, boyfriends, prom, career, for the rest of my life this will eat me alive. But I promise as long as you ok and smiling I will deal with it and wait for

    You to come and find me to make it up to you and show you all I done. I really hope you understand I done what I could. You have made me the happiest and proudest mum in the world. Every minute and second I spent with you was the best time of my Life.

    While I sit and write this with tears streaming down my face there’s still this smile that is permanently stuck there to my face and heart because of you. For this I thank you and I will cherish it all until I see you again. I miss and love you so much it hurts, and makes my heart skip beats. There’s not a single day that goes by that I don’t hurt, or think about you and smile, that I don’t smell or hear your infectious laugh. Not a day that I can’t wait to have you back in my arms. Or a day I wish I could turn back time, most of all not a day goes by where I don’t pray to have you back and that your safe and happy.

    Social Services Have Taken My Heart I Want My Baby Back
    Social Services Have Taken My Heart I Want My Baby Back

    Please god keep my baby safe and happy. Let her grow into all she can be. Let her know I’m here not giving up. I promise mummy will think about u and cherish every moment of you every day. I promise I will always be here. You’ve given me feelings I never knew existed. Until we meet again.. I have to say bye and god only knows how I’m going to do that. I love you more than any words could ever comprehend. Not only because you’re my daughter but you was my best friend too. And Forever that will remain. My whole 🌎 my ❤️ beat. My baby 👶🏼 mummy’s 👸🏼 forever and always 👩‍👧 💜💕💔💔💔💔”.

    if you are able to help Blackaller who is trying to raise funds for legal fees

    https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/kerry-blackaller?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Yimbyprojectpage&utm_content=kerry-blackaller&utm_campaign=projectpage-share-owner&utm_term=X6NnxzweD

     

     

  • Dear First Born I Am Still Here

    “Ugh, Mum, you never pay any attention to me!” my oldest child said in a huff the other day. Her delicate features crumpled on her face as she crossed her arms and frowned at me.

    I tried to not laugh out loud as I pulled her in close to me, remembering the months we spent together, alone—just her and me. The days I literally spent just holding her, the hours I spent reading with her, the naps we shared, the classes we took together to teach her to swim, the way she was my entire world and how she changed my entire world.


    I can tell her these things, of course, but she won’t remember them. The truth is, my daughter, you’ll never know how I studied you, each and every freckle on your nose an imprint on my heart, your features so new and yet familiar at the same time.


    You’ll never know the way I watched you sleep, echoes of “you should sleep when the baby sleeps!” filling my head, but I couldn’t look away, so in awe of the simple fact that you were here, that you once resided curled up inside of me.


    You’ll never know the laps I took, the weariness settling into my bones as I hushed and bounced and prayed, willing you to find peace against the pain I didn’t know was in your belly. You’ll never know the decisions that seemed so big at the time: Breastfeeding or not? Lifelong ban on french fries or give in early? Organic strawberries or save the money?


    You’ll never know how my breath catches still when I catch a glimpse of you, how startling it is when you seem to grow up overnight, when you move with the grace of a woman but sleep like the baby I once held.


    You’ll never know the way a heart can beat outside the body, steadfast and strong, unwavering in its dedication to you.


    You’ll never know how my biggest fear in life is losing you, is of you slipping away from me, slowly as you grow.

    You’ll never know how unfit I feel for this job sometimes, how much I want to hide under my covers, how many times I offer up a silent “Are you sure you meant me for this gig?” to the universe.


    You’ll never know how I see myself in you, something that frightens me, even as it thrills me.


    You’ll never know how I love watching you grow up, how I see everything you do for your siblings, how you bear the burden of being the oldest—and a girl at that—so very gracefully.


    You’ll never know that I still watch you when you sleep, that I will never stop brushing the stray hair our of your eyes so I can see your beautiful face.


    You’ll never know what rage a mother can feel when someone crosses her little girl, the way my stomach hurts for you when you get nervous, the way I feel what you feel.


    You’ll never know how my biggest fear in life is losing you, is of you slipping away from me, slowly as you grow.


    You’ll never know how every step, every breath, every time I see you think of another, every story you tell, every movement you make, makes me marvel at the gift you are.


    You’ll never know, dear daughter of mine, how you became my entire world, changed my entire world, and will always be my world.


    But I am here. Even when you think I’m not. And that’s a promise.


    Credit: Chaunie Brusie 



    https://mom.me/kids/101655-youll-never-know